Absentee Wolf

  During the last eight years, he and Toby hadn’t spoken often. Each birthday he would call to thank Toby for his gift, his expensive and exactly what he always wanted gift. Kent had called Toby a few other times throughout the years, always when he had major news to deliver. Toby was excited and asked the same questions each time like, “Are you happy? Is there anything you need?” and always, “Are you dating anyone?” Looking back now, he knew it was more than random small talk. Toby was trying to take care of him and also trying to find out if he was moving on in life. Funny to think, Kent had always hoped there was a twinge of jealousy or pang of longing in Toby’s voice. As he aged, Kent told himself it was a stupid crush making him want reactions that didn’t exist, but the truth was those feelings were there.

  Now, here Kent stood at the outside of Toby’s apartment with his hand raised to knock, wanting his mate and not caring that he was still mad at him for not telling him about being mates in the first place. Minutes passed with Kent staring at the door debating the intelligence of coming here. He thought Toby would have called him in by now or even have been at the door waiting. Toby seemed to know where Kent was or where he was going, even when Kent was busy avoiding him.

  There was no point standing here like a dork. He knocked firmly against the thick wood. It sounded hollow as it resounded in the hallway. Kent began to get nervous when Toby didn’t answer.

  Kent knocked once more and then called out.

  “Toby, are you home?”

  Kent leaned into the door to listen. The room was silent. Perhaps Toby was sleeping. Kent twisted the doorknob. It was unlocked, so he opened it then peeked his head inside. The lights were off. Kent breathed in deeply, Toby’s faint scent filling his lungs and hardening his cock. Damn, Toby always smelled so good.

  Kent walked fully into the small apartment. The room was empty. The furnishings were still there, but all the cabinets were open and bare. The garbage can was upside down to show that it was empty. His heart raced, and his stomach clenched. There was nothing to say that someone was living here at all. Toby’s gone? This isn’t right! Kent looked around once more as if somehow he would find Toby in the corner or something he left behind.

  Kent hurried inside to the small bedroom. It was empty, as was the bathroom when he looked in there. The bed was vacant, no sheets or bedding on it. Any and all drawers were open, and the counters were spotless. Toby had left him again. Kent growled out his anger that his mate could never be trusted to be there for him when he wanted him.

  Kent drove home screeching to a stop at the curb. In his anger, he almost passed his house and slammed on his breaks at the last moment. After getting out of the car, he could see the thick marks left by his tires. He had to get under control. His parents didn’t need to see him so angry over Toby, especially his father. Kent rolled his eyes. He couldn’t believe his father would take Toby’s stupid side over his, but Toby was his best friend. How could he be such a great best friend if he couldn’t be there for his mate?

  Tromping through the grass was when Kent noticed an extra car in the driveway. His parents had guests. Just what Kent didn’t need—someone to have to play nice with. Kent hoped he could sneak up the stairs and stew in his room until company left. For a moment he thought about going in through the back door, but decided he’d walk in and say he wasn’t feeling well. That would get him left alone for the night, providing his mother didn’t think he was dying since shifters rarely were ill.

  Kent pushed open the door and immediately noticed Toby sitting on the couch with his father and mother. They were laughing loudly. Kent stood in the doorway watching.

  “Kent, you’re home late. Everything all right at the preserve?” His father waved at him then dropped his arm back around his mother.

  “Yeah, everything’s fine. What are you doing here?” Kent directed his question to Toby, but before Toby could answer his father intervened.

  “Kent, I invited him over. It’s not your house, so you can lose the attitude. You don’t need to be down here if you don’t want.”

  Toby didn’t answer the question at all. Figures. The coward would let my father fight his battles. Kent had more to say, so he ignored his father and continued.

  “You left. All your things are gone.”

  “Kent, he’s right here. Obviously, he didn’t leave.”

  Kent moved further into the living room. Why Toby wouldn’t just answer his question was infuriating.

  “Dad, I’m not talking to you. Toby, answer me.”

  Kent watched as Toby slowly turned to face him. He was glaring at him like he was a pup who had interrupted some important adult conversation. If this was how he was going to be treated, Kent would make sure to inform him otherwise.

  “I didn’t leave. I’m right here.”

  “Don’t be a smartass. I was at your apartment. It’s empty.”

  “I moved out of the rental and back into my own house in town.”

  “What the fuck’s going on? Why didn’t you just stay at your house to begin with? Are you planning on bailing again?”

  “Kent! I don’t want to hear—”

  Toby lifted his hand to stop Kent’s father. “Tay, it’s fine. Kent, I’ll answer any question you want me to or tell you anything, but I don’t want to fight.”

  “I don’t care what you want. Talk.” Kent placed his hands on his hips, waiting for Toby to start speaking. Instead, Toby collapsed in on himself. His shoulders slumped and his back bent.

  “Can we not do this here?”

  Kent walked out of the living room and went into the kitchen without a word. He expected Toby to follow him since he wasn’t done discussing this yet. Toby walked into the kitchen a few minutes later.

  “You could at least ask me to follow you or try to be the least bit polite. I haven’t done anything to you to be treated like some mongrel dog.”

  “Were you planning on telling me that you’d moved out?”

  “I told you that I wasn’t pursuing you. I was going to keep our relationship professional. Since my moving didn’t have anything to do with pack business, I didn’t mention it. It only happened today anyway.”

  “So you get to set all the rules for us now? When you leave. When you stay. It’s all decided by you?”

  Kent watched as Toby shrank back again, and Kent felt powerful for a moment. He was controlling Toby. Kent felt as though he had all the cards and was dealing out the truth with each word he spewed.

  “No, it’s not. When you want to know something about me, I’ll tell you. I’m not volunteering anything unless it’s related to the preserve security. I’m not exactly sure why you’re not understanding this.”

  “So I’m stupid?”

  “Kent, enough. Just enough. Don’t put words in my mouth. Don’t sit here and try to pick fights. I want to be your mate. I want to be everything for you, but I won’t be a punching bag. Until you’re ready to talk to me, and talk politely, just let me be. I already feel like shit as it is.”

  Toby turned from Kent and walked back into the living room. Kent followed on his heels.

  “I think I should leave.” Toby ran his hand over his head and scrubbed his face.

  Gina stood. “Toby, I’ve stayed out of this so far, but I think your leaving is a bad idea.”

  “Mom, you’re going to take his side, too?”

  “Kent, I love you, but shut up.” Kent took a step away in shock and snapped his mouth closed. “You’re intentionally trying to hurt Toby. You may not like the choice he made eight years ago, but neither of you can undo it, so deal. Leaving here hurt him in ways that you won’t understand as long as you carry this chip on your shoulder. And trying to hurt him now to make him pay is only going to ruin any chance you two have at a real mating.”

  Kent watched his mom take Toby’s hand in hers. “Kent, this man here loves you. Loves you more than your father and I ever will because he’s your mate. Don’t treat that love or the person who gives it like trash.” She release
d Toby’s hand and sat next to Tay once more. Kent’s father wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. He kissed her forehead, and she laid her head on his chest.

  “Thank you, Gina.” Toby looked expectantly at Kent.

  “It’s not my house. You can stay if you want.” Kent turned and left his parents with their friend.

  Once locked in his room, Kent wanted to scream. He kicked the corner post of his bed and made it scoot across the floor a few inches.

  He wanted his mate up here loving him, not downstairs schmoozing with his parents. He wanted his mate telling how much he loved him and how he never wanted to leave him, not running back to wherever he decided to live. Kent wanted to come home from his internship and talk about all the crazy things he had to do throughout the day, and instead he was locked in his room yelling at the ceiling. He should be downstairs with his mate, but he wasn’t. And it was his choice that he wasn’t.

  As the anger subsided, Kent realized that this fight was on him. He’d jumped to conclusions. He’d made accusations. Toby had stayed calm. When Kent hurled hatred and cruelty, Toby took it, and acted like he deserved it.

  Kent fell onto his bed. He felt terrible. Not because of the way Toby had treated him, but because of the way he had treated Toby.

  Kent stayed in his room the remainder of the night, only leaving to sneak into the kitchen for food. He fell asleep before Toby had even left for the night, the constant emotional up and down having worn him out.

  Being angry all the time was exhausting. Picking arguments at every chance had drained him and was starting to make him physically ill. His back hurt, his joints ached, and his stomach burned. And this was only after a couple days. His mom was right. If Kent didn’t get his attitude in check and his emotions under control, he’d never be able to work things out with Toby.

  * * * *

  The next morning, Kent woke with new purpose. He wasn’t ready yet to run into Toby’s arms, but he would extend the olive branch and take steps toward building some new relationship with Toby. Kent couldn’t go back to the relationship as he knew it. That relationship was gone, and Kent wouldn’t want to go back to it. Neither man was the same as they were. Kent wanted to try a new relationship as friends and see if it could go anywhere.

  Toby had left a note on Kent’s door once, and Kent wanted to do the same. He walked through the halls of the administration building and toward Toby’s office. The door was shut. Either Toby hadn’t arrived yet, or he didn’t want to be disturbed. Either scenario would work for Kent. He tucked the letter in the doorframe by the knob and turned toward his office.

  Knowing that the apology was delivered and would soon be read by his mate, lifted a weight from Kent’s shoulders. Sure, apologizing in a note was the easy way out, but in this circumstance Kent felt it was the best he could do. Face-to-face, Toby caused too many emotions to surface at once. Kent felt this would allow him to make peace instead of making it worse.

  Kent heard a door open behind him as he walked away. He wanted to look and see if it was Toby, but he didn’t want Toby to think that he had been waiting for him either. The whole idea of playing it cool was much harder than it sounder. He wouldn’t turn back unless Toby called to him.

  “Hey, Kent?” Kent stopped and took a quick breath to steady himself. Suddenly nervous and afraid his mate would reject his apology, Kent turned to face Toby.

  “Yeah?”

  “Thank you.” Toby held the paper against his chest and smiled. Kent smiled back and walked to his office ready to make a new day happen.

  Throughout the day, Kent made no attempt to avoid Toby, but he wasn’t running into his arms either. He found himself looking up at odd times, hoping to see his mate. When someone passed his door, he’d peek under his lashes just in case it was his Toby.

  Morning assignments kept Kent busy at his desk, but the few times he’d seen Toby, Toby greeted him with a smile. They were testing each other out. Kent knew where Toby stood in the relationship. He was ready to dive in completely, or so he said. Kent however wasn’t fully convinced of it, yet. He tried to be coy and reserved, but was sure he was failing. Each time he saw Toby, he’d smile just because it was his mate. Toby made Kent feel like he was in high school again, awkward and wonderful all at the same time. But Kent didn’t really care. His stomach had calmed and his aching joints had healed.

  When lunch approached, Kent thought about what he should do. He could sit in his office and brood a while longer or keep on the path of the extended olive branch. Thinking of Toby made him smile, so he grabbed his keys from the desk drawer and walked toward Toby’s office. Knocking on the doorframe, he waited for Toby to acknowledge him.

  “I can’t wait for the day when you don’t feel the need to knock on my open door, but just come in instead.”

  “I don’t want to make assumptions.”

  “I guess in our case that’s probably best. So come in already.”

  Kent strutted into the office and sat at Toby’s vacant desk. Toby was sitting at his drafting table working on some circuit board.

  “Is there anything I can help you with?” Kent wasn’t sure what he should say. When Kent was younger, he always lost his confidence around Toby. It seemed now that he wasn’t spewing hate, Kent had nothing to say, or at least nothing he felt comfortable saying.

  “Not unless you can figure resistance and wattage in your head.”

  “Sorry. Might be able to do percent off on sales, but that’s about it.”

  “Your mother’s child, I see.”

  Kent laughed at the easy rapport and hoped he could maintain it. “I came to see what you were doing for lunch.”

  Toby slowly turned his chair toward Kent, a wicked smile on his face. Kent’s gut clenched under his mate’s scrutiny. “Hmm, doing for lunch.” Toby rolled the chair closer to Kent, and Kent released a nervous chuckle.

  “I meant what are you eating.” Kent’s voice lost some of its previous confidence as he realized that wasn’t a better statement.

  Toby quickly picked up on that, too, as he raised one brow. “Eating? I know what I’d love to eat.” Toby rolled his chair even closer, so his legs were now on either side of Kent’s.

  Toby had no issue with confidence, and that only made Kent more nervous. “I’m asking for a lunch date, not a quickie, hornball.” Kent leaned closer to Toby, his mate’s mere presence calling to him.

  Toby placed his hands on Kent’s thigh. “We could have both.”

  He always knew what to say or how to touch Kent in a way that made thinking stop. If he let Toby touch him all the time, they’d never get out of bed. His mind clouded with images of Toby and him making love, wrapped around one another, crying out.

  “Lunch. We should probably just eat lunch.” Kent used every last functioning brain cell to make that statement. If Toby made any more innuendos, Kent would have no defenses left. Thankfully, Toby took sympathy on him and dropped the insinuations.

  “Okay, where do you want to eat? It’s my treat.” Kent’s mind was still tangled, like he wanted his legs to be with Toby’s, so he shrugged his shoulders and waited. “Let’s get fried chicken at that place in town you always wanted growing up.”

  Toby stood to his feet, still in Kent’s personal space, his crotch coming closer to Kent’s face. The scent of Toby’s arousal was so strong that Kent wanted to lean into the source, but mercifully Toby took a step back and extended his hand to Kent. “You drive.”

  Kent took the offered hand and allowed Toby to pull him up and into his hard body. He looked over Toby’s face, absorbing each detail of this handsome man. Having gathered his thoughts and cleared his head slightly, Kent nodded and stepped toward the door, Toby following right behind him.

  At the restaurant, Kent asked if they could sit inside to eat instead of taking the meal to go. He feared that if they ate alone together, little food would get eaten, and he would do something he might regret. Kent had never been one to make rash decisions in life, and he was
hard pressed now to not let his emotions and pheromones control him.

  The meal was fun and the conversation light. They had a lot of missed time to catch up on. Toby talked about his business dealings in Colorado and how he never really stopped anything here, just relocated his headquarters. He talked about the local pack that he would run with occasionally and the few friends he met there.

  Kent had a million questions for Toby. He tried to rein them in and not make a mess of their tenuous relationship with an interrogation. Toby, however was very talkative, and volunteered information before Kent could ask. He let Kent know about his house in town, and how he wanted to change things around and remodel.

  “Don’t you have furniture and stuff in Colorado, too?”

  “I do.”

  “So what are you going to do with it?” Kent was trying to fish for information of Toby’s long-term intentions.

  “I’m going to have it packed up and shipped here. I’ll have to fly there to settle out accounts and such, but if I make the appointments right, that could be done in single day.” Kent tried to keep his unease under wrap. If Toby left, he didn’t have to return. He had an entire other life set up, one where he made sure Kent didn’t exist.

  “Oh. When do you plan on doing that?”

  “I don’t know yet. Depends on work and us.”

  “Us?” Their conversation had gotten round to them once more. Kent wanted to know what exactly Toby had planned for them. Did Toby’s plan include a happy life in his house, filling it with memories made by the two of them? Or did he want them to continue their separate lives, having occasional lunches when the mood struck?

  “Of course, us. I’m not going until you’re okay with it, and you may even want to come with me. It’s up to you, actually.”

  “Really?” Kent was genuinely surprised. He worried there was something in Colorado that Toby had wanted to keep from him, or Toby might use the trip as a chance to run again. He hadn’t expected that Toby would want him to go with him. There was no need for Kent to join Toby on his business trip.