Murder on the Ballot

by Elizabeth Spann Craig

  Wanda said, “Ain’t Tippy gonna run?”

  “I need to follow up with her. I could do that now . . . and tell her that her country needs her. She does respond well when it’s put in terms of duty,” said Myrtle. “I could call her now.”

  Wanda drawled, “She’s at the garden center.”

  “Is she? Goodness but it’s helpful having a psychic around. I do believe it might actually be better to ask Tippy in person. It would pressure her just a bit more. Let’s all go to the garden center.” Myrtle grabbed her purse off the kitchen counter.

  Miles groaned. “I just mentioned how exhausted I am.”

  “You’ll rally, Miles. Besides, there’s no way that Wanda and I can walk all the way to the plant nursery. We did enough walking yesterday—I think I may have worn my shoes down to a nub.”

  Miles glanced down at Myrtle’s sensible orthopedic shoes. “That’s rather unlikely.”

  “But I could always drive your car if you preferred,” said Myrtle sweetly. “My license has been renewed for another ten years.”

  Miles stood up and took his keys out of his pocket. “I’ll drive.”

  Myrtle said, “Good. Although you know I’m an excellent driver, Miles. I’m not sure I appreciate your concern about my driving your vehicle.”

  “My concern has something to do with you driving fifteen miles an hour,” said Miles.

  Myrtle gave him a reproving look. “Nothing bad happens when you drive fifteen miles an hour. It’s the safest way to drive. However, I’m happy for you to be the driver today. Wanda, I have a little extra money set aside from my retirement check this month . . . how about if you and I find something small we can buy at the garden center?”

  Wanda grinned and nodded happily. Then she looked concerned. “Can we find somethin’ cheap there?”

  “We certainly can. We’ll just avoid shopping in whatever sections Tippy is shopping in. Miles, is there anything you might need there?”

  Miles considered this. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to get some fertilizer.”

  “An exciting purchase, for sure,” murmured Myrtle.

  A ten-minute drive later, they arrived at the plant nursery. They could see Tippy outside, looking at some flowering bushes thoughtfully.

  Miles said, “There are two luxury vehicles here. Who might the other one belong to?”

  Myrtle craned her head and gasped. “I think that’s Jenny Rollins’s car. Isn’t it? Oh good . . . maybe we’ll have the chance to knock out two birds with one stone.”

  Wanda said, “Which one first? Cause one of ‘em might leave.”

  “We should certainly speak with Jenny first. Tippy appears to be deep in thought and I don’t consider her a speedy shopper. Besides, I can always just pop by Tippy’s house. It would be a bit more awkward popping over to Jenny’s.”

  Miles said carefully, “I noticed there wasn’t any casserole delivery to Jenny’s house.” He and Wanda exchanged a glance.

  Myrtle sighed. “No. No, there wasn’t. Jenny said that she already had plenty of food at the house and didn’t need any more. I suppose she doesn’t need as much food now that Scotty is out of the house and living on his own. I’m kind of curious to hear how that’s going, too.”

  They walked into the garden center and glanced around for Jenny.

  “There she is,” whispered Myrtle in her stage whisper. She took off quickly in the direction of the hanging plants as Wanda and Miles followed.

  “Good morning, Jenny,” chirped Myrtle as she approached the woman.

  Jenny looked surprised. “Well, goodness. I seem to keep running into you, Myrtle. It’s good to see you.”

  The last was said in a somewhat-doubtful tone. A tone Myrtle ignored.

  “You know Miles, I think. And this is my friend Wanda,” said Myrtle.

  To her credit, Jenny didn’t waver at all at the somewhat-quirky-looking Wanda but extended her hand immediately. “Pleased to meet you.”

  Jenny seemed composed, as always, but somewhat drained. Her eyes were tired.

  Wanda gave Jenny a stern look. “You need to sleep. Don’t be up at night no more.”

  Jenny blinked, looking startled and Myrtle said quickly, “Wanda here is a psychic. Although it doesn’t really take a psychic to see that you’re sleep-deprived. Are you doing all right, Jenny? Under the circumstances, I mean?”

  Jenny nodded, still looking curiously at Wanda. “I’m all right. But I keep hearing noises at night that are keeping me up.”

  “Noises?” asked Miles, frowning.

  “Yes. Oh, it’s not really anything—just creaking floorboards, sounds outside the house. Night sounds—you know. Crickets and frogs and whatnot. Maybe the sounds have always been there, but I hadn’t noticed them because I felt safe with Royce in the house. Now I’m alone.”

  Myrtle said, “I was actually just wondering how things were going with Scotty. It sounds like he did end up moving out, then? How is he enjoying his new place?”

  Jenny gave them her first really genuine smile. “He’s so happy. It’s the one thing in my life that’s really going well right now. Scotty was just so stuck before. He didn’t finish college or have any kind of vision in terms of what he was going to do next. Now that I’ve helped him get a little independence by assisting him with rent and letting him move out, everything has changed. He’s gotten a job over at the barbeque restaurant.”

  “He’s waiting tables?” asked Myrtle.

  “Cashing people out. He enjoys it . . . meeting people and seeing people he knows. I saw him yesterday and he had the biggest smile on his face. It amazed me. I don’t know when I’d last seen him smile like that.” Jenny said ruefully, “Now, if I can only get my own life straight, maybe he and I will be okay. I guess I need to start with my sleeping.” She looked at Wanda and gave her a wry smile.

  Myrtle said, “Oh, we’re a group that understands sleeplessness here. Well, Miles and I do, at least. I think Wanda’s actually a pretty good sleeper. Speaking as someone with many years of insomnia, I’ll share my own philosophy toward it, if you like.”

  Jenny nodded. “Please. I’m starting to think I’m going to have to take something, otherwise.”

  “Pills are definitely not a good long-term solution. What I do is to try to get up out of bed and do something comforting.”

  “Comforting?” Jenny looked confused. “You mean like eating comfort food or something?”

  “That’s one of the things you can do. Sometimes I walk over to Miles’s house and have a meal with him.”

  Miles winced at the thought of the many times he’d actually been sleeping when Myrtle had come over for a nocturnal visit.

  “Sometimes I’ll work on a puzzle or go for a stroll. It’s amazing what one can see when you’re out for a stroll.”

  Jenny wrinkled her brow. “Goodness. You were out last night, weren’t you? That couldn’t have been very safe, considering what happened at Erma’s.” In a drained voice she said, “It’s so awful that Bradley has these terrible crimes. I’m so worried now about my safety. Do you think it was just some random thing . . . what happened to Preston?”

  “No, I can’t imagine that. We don’t seem to have a lot of just random acts of violence here. I think Preston’s death must have been targeted. Of course, what he was doing in Erma’s yard is anyone’s guess.” Myrtle looked at Jenny and said, “You don’t have any more ideas about what happened to Royce?”

  Jenny sighed. “I don’t know. I did remember one thing that happened recently. Bonner and Royce were squabbling.”

  “More of the construction company dispute?” asked Myrtle.

  Jenny shook her head. “I think it was more than that, although at the time I unfortunately couldn’t be bothered to listen in. As I told you before, I didn’t think Bonner really harbored bad feelings or any real enmity toward Royce. It was simply a business-related argument. But now I’m realizing those two really didn’t care for each other. I wish I’d listened more carefully when R
oyce would talk about their issues. The truth is that sometimes I just pretended to listen . . . nodded at all the right times while we ate dinner. I feel so terrible about that now. But you know how it is.” She looked earnestly at Myrtle, Miles and Wanda for affirmation on this point. And the widow, the widower, and the single woman all nodded back at her, although they’d all forgotten or never known.

  Jenny looked at Myrtle and said, “Red has been wonderful, Myrtle. I know you must be proud of him.”

  “Has he?” asked Myrtle sounding a little doubtful.

  “He has. I know the spouse is always the main suspect, but Red has really been putting time into thinking outside the box and seeing who might be behind all this. How are he and Elaine doing?”

  Myrtle made a face. “Oh, I suppose they’re doing fine. Elaine has a new hobby. You know how she likes to keep busy.”

  Jenny gave another smile. “What is it this time? I know her hobbies are varied and . . . well, I guess they have differing results.”

  “Sewing.” Myrtle sighed. “I’m not sure sewing is Elaine’s best hobby. I rather liked her healthy eating one. It was just Red who had a problem with it.”

  Jenny said thoughtfully, “You know, I’m on a couple of committees at church that I think Elaine would be perfect for. I could give her a call and see if she’d be interested.”

  Myrtle beamed at her. “That would be wonderful. I appreciate your help, Jenny.”

  “I’ll call her as soon as I’m home. I’m supposed to be getting extra recruits for them anyway. It’s been a good way for me to stay busy and distracted.”

  “Perfect! Because she’s already asking me for my measurements and I’m a little concerned to see what kind of outfit she might come up with for me.”

  Jenny said, “Consider it done.”

  Myrtle saw Wanda looking over at the hanging plants and quickly said, “We’ll see you soon, Jenny. We have a couple of things we wanted to pick up here. Good to visit with you.”

  Jenny made her way to the checkout counter with her large cart as Myrtle and Wanda carefully read the different instructions on each plant and found a couple that seemed fairly low maintenance.

  “You enjoy growing herbs, too, don’t you?” asked Myrtle.

  Wanda nodded.

  “Well, let’s start a little herb garden at my house while you’re visiting.”

  Miles frowned. “What are your intentions with an herb garden?”

  “My intentions? Miles you sound so solemn. I believe our intention is to eat the herbs, isn’t that right, Wanda? For heaven’s sake, we’re talking about herbs.”

  “So you’ll be cooking with them?” Miles continued.

  Wanda’s mouth stretched out into her crooked grin.

  “Certainly! If we’re able to grow anything at all. Although I believe Wanda has shown herself rather proficient at gardening,” said Myrtle.

  Miles cast a worried look at Wanda and Wanda croaked, “Herbs is good with scrambled eggs.”

  Miles suddenly looked a lot more cheerful. “They are indeed! Myrtle’s scrambled eggs are the best.”

  Myrtle looked pleased again. “Why, thank you, Miles! I’ll have to remember that for the future. Perhaps you can come over and have breakfast for supper one night. And now we should head over to the herb section, which, if I’m correct is right next to where Tippy is currently shopping.”

  Tippy was indeed still standing there, looking very thoughtfully at a cherry tree as if trying to envision it in her massive yard.

  “Tippy!” said Myrtle cheerfully and Tippy jumped.

  “Goodness but you were deep in your thoughts,” said Myrtle.

  Tippy chuckled and patted her chest as if to possibly jumpstart her heart again. “Yes, sorry, Myrtle. I was just trying to decide whether I wanted to make a purchase or not. How are the three of you doing? Finding some wonderful plants?”

  They talked about the hanging plants and the herbs they were going to buy. Then Myrtle purred, “I’m so delighted we happened into each other today, Tippy. I wanted to check back in with you on your candidacy.”

  Tippy deflated slightly, looking away from Myrtle. “Oh, I don’t know, Myrtle.”

  “Did you speak with Benton about it?” asked Myrtle brightly. In her head, she was concocting all sorts of terrible things to say to Tippy’s husband if he’d pooh-poohed the idea.

  “Yes, and he was totally onboard with it,” said Tippy reluctantly. “I was just wondering if I had the energy to take on town hall.”

  “Well, you’re not really taking it on, Tippy. You’ll be there to be the grown-up in the room when there are discussions. As you know, the town council is desperately in need of a grown-up. Please, Tippy. It’s either you or it’s me. And I’m a senior citizen.” Myrtle crouched over her cane in an effort to look as decrepit as possible.

  Tippy sighed and shook her head with a short laugh. “I can tell you’re not in the mood to take no for an answer, Myrtle. If you really feel I’ll make a difference, I’ll go ahead over to town hall and sign up and get the paperwork.”

  Myrtle’s eyes sparkled. “Wonderful! That’s exactly what I was hoping to hear. Believe me, you’ll definitely be making a difference. I’ll head over to town council with you and take myself off the ballot. You’ll be pleased to know that my fundraiser this morning brought in quite a bit of money, which I’ll be happy to forward over to your campaign.”

  Tippy didn’t appear to be very enthusiastic about this. “I’m not sure that’s the correct protocol. Those people were giving money because they were supporting you as a candidate, not me.”

  Miles cleared his throat. “I believe they were giving money because they wanted their picture taken with a gnome.”

  Myrtle said, “Miles is completely correct. Those folks weren’t there for politically-motivated reasons.”

  “Just the same, I think I’ll fund my campaign myself. Just to ensure everything appears on the up-and-up.”

  “In that case, I’ll donate the money to the animal shelter,” said Myrtle.

  Tippy relaxed a bit. “That sounds like an excellent idea.”

  “Are you ready to go to the town hall now?” asked Myrtle. She was ready to remove herself from the ballot and get Tippy on it.

  Tippy looked longingly around the garden center as if wishing she could spend a good deal more time there. “Well . . . yes. I suppose I could. I can swing back by here afterward.”

  Wanda was still gazing in the direction of the herbs and Myrtle realized she was being a bit unfair. Wanda was wanting to be like Tippy and just thoughtfully browse around without having to encounter suspects and people who needed to be persuaded to run for office.

  “Tell you what, Tippy. How about if you give me a lift to town hall and Miles and Wanda can linger here at the garden center,” said Myrtle.

  Miles looked less-than-delighted at this plan.

  Tippy said, “I can actually drive you back home too, Myrtle. Then Wanda and Miles can take all the time they need here.”

  Now Miles looked truly despondent. Wanda’s eyes had lit up, though.

  “Perfect!” Myrtle turned to Wanda, “Now these are both of our purchases, so let me give you some money for it all.”

  “I have it covered,” said Miles, a little stiffly.

  Myrtle was never one to argue if someone were offering to pay for anything. “Even better! Thank you, Miles.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Myrtle and Tippy headed out to Tippy’s roomy Cadillac. Tippy turned on the car and jazz music started playing on the speakers. Tippy, always the perfect hostess, even if she was hosting in her car, started asking Myrtle questions about how Jack was doing and what Elaine was up to. Before Myrtle knew it, they were at town hall.

  The town clerk did not look excited to see Myrtle there again.

  “I’d like to drop out of the race, BeeBee,” said Myrtle. “And Tippy would like to sign up.”

  BeeBee muttered something under her breath and pulled out a sta
ck of paperwork for Tippy and a separate piece of paper for Myrtle. “Forms and signatures,” she said.

  Myrtle poised her pen above the paper. “So it’s not a problem, then? That Tippy becomes a candidate even though it’s post-deadline?”

  BeeBee rubbed at her forehead as though it hurt. “No. That’s because we currently have no candidates for the seat.”

  Myrtle frowned. “But there’s Erma Sherman.”

  “Dropped out earlier this morning,” drawled BeeBee. “Said there was a troubling incident in her yard and thought it might be politically-motivated.”

  Tippy gave Myrtle an alarmed look and Myrtle said, “Oh, that’s just Erma being hyperbolic. You know how she is.”

  Tippy said sharply, “Preston’s demise didn’t have anything to do with Erma running for office, did it?”

  “Certainly not! It had to do with Erma having a big mouth at Royce’s funeral.”

  BeeBee was now looking interested. Myrtle said, “I’ll fill you in later, Tippy. Just rest assured that you don’t have to worry about running for office.”

  Myrtle waited until Tippy started filling out the forms in her sweeping handwriting and then scrawled her name on the form to withdraw from candidacy.

  A minute later, Myrtle decided that the process of signing Tippy up was going to take forever. She was a very careful person and very deliberate in terms of what she put her name to. She was studying the form and asking BeeBee lots of questions and there wasn’t anywhere for Myrtle to sit down in the town clerk’s office.

  “I’ll meet you out in the lobby,” said Myrtle and Tippy absently nodded.

  Myrtle walked out into the lobby and right to a bench. She was getting a peppermint out of her purse when the door to the building opened and Bonner Lang walked in. He started passing Myrtle, seemingly completely focused on heading to the stairs.

  “Bonner?” asked Myrtle, calling out in her authoritative voice.

  Bonner jumped a little and then gave Myrtle a half-smile. “Why, Miss Myrtle! What an unexpected pleasure to see you here this morning. How are you doing?”

  “I’m doing well, Bonner. I have news for you.”