I decided to go find Sebastian. He’s probably wondering where the hell I am by now if he hadn’t heard my car as I pulled up the drive. Last time he saw me I was storming out of here in an angry but determined mood. He was the only one I told where I was going, and he’s the one I most need to talk to about my next move.
When I see he’s not in his room, I head to the theater room where we have a huge plasma screen and games consoles. He’s probably playing Call of Duty, or watching a movie or something. I don’t find him there either, so I assume he must be with Quinn at her house. I catch sight of myself in the reflection on the black screen and almost don’t recognize myself. I’m a complete wreck. My clothes are rumpled, and my hair is an unruly mess. I think my next port of call should be my bedroom for a shower and a change of clothes since I’ve been wearing these for more than twenty-four hours.
I shoot Sebastian a text to let him know I’m home and to that I need to talk to him. I’d call him but this isn’t the kind of conversation I’m going to have over the phone. Tossing my phone onto the nightstand in my bedroom, I make my way into the shower. I need to freshen up, and then I need to get back to Ethan before my father gets home. I don’t trust my father to stay away, but I’m hoping he’ll have the sense to wait until Ethan has finished before he interferes. If he pisses off Ethan enough, I wouldn’t expect Ethan to do anything less than destroy the entire network. There was no way I was going to hang around Ethan with him needing to concentrate, and risk distracting him. I fucked up big time, and the consequences are biting me in the ass because there is no way to undo what I’ve done. I offered him the best thing I could to get him back here, safety for him and his family, and justice for his sister.
I stand in the shower for a long time, letting the hot water soothe my aching muscles, and the heat to sink into my skin. I smile faintly to myself, recalling the feel of Ethan kissing me, touching me, fucking me. The slight sting when the soap kisses my sore skin brings a bitter taste to my mouth. He fucked me as good as he hates me, and even when it hurt, it was pure fucking bliss to be with him. Our first time will no doubt be the last, as I doubt I’ll ever see him again except maybe in court when I’m pleading guilty to killing his sister.
I slam my fist against the tiles, relishing the dull ache that spreads through my knuckles. I despise who I’ve become. I’ve let my father twist and warp me into the killer he wanted me to be, and though for a time I enjoyed it, the innocent lives I’ve taken weigh heavily on my conscience. I’ve tried so hard to make light of them, to let them wash over me like water, but they cling to my skin like days old blood, peeling and cracking the same way my fucking soul has since I murdered my best friend six years ago.
“You need to do this, Devin,” my father says, holding out the gun.
“He’s my best friend, I can’t,” I hiss, pushing it away and shaking my head.
“He’s not good enough for you. I thought I’d raised you to be better than fucking trash like him. It’s bad enough you brought your shameful preferences into this house. I won’t permit it. Either you do it, or I’ll have The Grims’ take him,” my father responds coldly.
“Shameful,” I repeat, my voice hollow.
Is this really what he thinks of me? I’m not sure why I ever expected anything more or less than distaste. He’s always favored Sebastian ever since he was born. I was eight and in awe of my new baby brother. I loved him from the moment I saw him, I still do, and I knew I would always do everything in my power to protect him. I’ve never hated my father more than I have in this moment, as he forces this choice upon me... not that either is much of an option.
“You’re a heartless bastard. No wonder Mom left rather than stay here with you,” I spit, and he grabs me by the collar, slamming me up against the wall.
“Watch your tone, boy. I made you, and you’re my son, you’re going to do what I say,” he growls.
I look over his shoulder and through the open bedroom door toward my best friend, Killian who’s sleeping peacefully in my bed to see if he’s noticed the commotion, willing him to wake up and run. If I shout then he’s as good as dead, but if I don’t he dies anyway. My heart fucking aches at the thought of what he wants me to do.
“I’m not a child, so don’t treat me like one.”
“You’re a part of this family, Devin, and you will act the part.”
“Then maybe I don’t want to be anymore. Maybe I should leave.”
“If you leave, then you’ll never see your brother again. So I suggest you decide quickly, son. What’s it going to be? That trash in your bed, or your brother’s happiness?” he snaps, releasing me to gesture at my bedroom.
Sebastian is twelve years old. He has nothing and no one in this house but me and our bastard of a father. If I leave, then Sebastian will have no one to look up to, not that I’m much of a role model for him, but it’s better than being raised entirely by Nathaniel Johnson. I won’t let my little brother’s soul be tainted by the bloodshed that follows my father’s orders. My chest aches, but I know what I have to do. Sebastian needs me, and if I do this, then at least Killian’s final moments will end swiftly with me and not in suffering at hands of those fucking Reapers.
When I was seventeen and curiosity reared its head, he was the only person I told about the feelings I was having. Killian was the first guy I’d ever been with... not the first person, but I shared more firsts with him than I ever did anyone else. This was the only secret I ever kept, because if Killian had known the truth about what I do for my father, that on some nights I come home drenched in blood, he’d have tried to stop me, and he’d have learned that I’m a monster.
I take the gun from my father’s hand, and shove past him. I walk slowly into the room, and slowly shut the door. Of all the people in this fucking world my father could have chosen to ask me to murder, why did it have to be him? Feeling as though I’m walking toward my own grave instead of the bed I had shared with my best friend, I stop to look at his sleeping face one last time and try to convince myself that it’s better this way. A tear slips from my eye, rolling down my cheek as I raise the gun. The teardrop falls from my jaw as I squeeze the trigger, and the muffled bang tears through my soul as fast as the bullet pierces his skull.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Devin
As refreshed and as cleansed as I’ll ever be able to get, I make my way back down through the house to the office where I left Ethan. I’ve no idea if he’ll be anywhere near finished, but I’m getting nervous. I haven’t heard anything from my father since we got back, and he’s bound to know I’m here. He’s remarkably clued in for such a self-serving asshole. I’m not much better than he is, but the frightening part is I have more heart than he ever did, only there’s not much left now.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I take it out to check it. It's Sebastian, and he’ll be home in twenty minutes. That means I have time to check in with Ethan before he gets here and discuss what he needs to do as well. When I get to the office, the door is closed, and I can’t hear anything from the other side. Frowning, I push open the door and am greeted by darkness and the backlit screens of the computers which monitor the security. Ethan’s not here.
There’s nothing left in the house Ethan was staying in while he was here, so he wouldn’t have gone there. Even if he’s left now that the job is complete, I should inform my father that everything has been corrected and there should be no further problems to deal with. Feeling somewhat nervous, I head for my father’s office. If I can avoid a conversation with him, I will. There’s no love lost between us, and we’ve been at odds for years. I only stay and continue to work for him so that he keeps his word regarding Sebastian.
As I approach the office, I can make out the sound of my father speaking to someone, but I can’t hear who it is, the responding voice is too quiet for me to hear. I knock on the door and wait, expecting to be sent away until later as is usually the case when he’s in a meeting.
Surprise flickers th
rough me when I hear him call out, “Come in.”
Opening the door, I do my best to school my fear and dismay into an impassive expression. Ethan is sitting in one of the chairs at my father’s desk. He looks as though he’s ready to explode, and his knuckles are white with tension at how hard he’s squeezing the armrests. If this were anyone other than my father, I reckon he’d have snapped by now, and I can see how hard he’s having to restrain himself from doing just that.
I look to my father whose expression is forcibly neutral, but I can easily detect the air of malice and superiority surrounding him, although it’s tainted with something else.
“Devin,” he acknowledges me, “I was just having a conversation with your friend about the work he’s done for us today, and getting to know him a little better.”
Alarm bells are going off in my head, and at my father’s words I notice Ethan’s hands relax and then clench the armrests again. I don’t miss the emphasis he put on the word friend, and I can feel the unease starting to rise again.
“Thank you for your help. Your work today has been exceptional,” I compliment, inclining my head towards Ethan.
My father’s lips twitch into a smile, “Mr. Drake’s work has been exceptional.”
I whip my head up to meet my father’s gaze in time to see his lips twitch into a scowl.
“Cut the bullshit, Devin. When I saw him this afternoon I recognized him instantly. I’m surprised you didn’t, especially with your... connection to him.”
I don’t say anything, instead I stare back at him, my expression stony-faced, as I think quickly, trying to work out a way out of this.
“You’re learning to keep your mouth shut, I see. I was just filling Mr. Drake in on a few details about that night. I thought he’d like to hear in detail how you killed Sebastian’s little whore.”
I grab Ethan by the shoulders when he leaps out of the chair and goes to take a swing at my father. If my father loses his temper there’s no telling what bloodshed will follow, and in Nathaniel Johnson’s eyes, Ethan is worth less than the dirt on his pristine shoes. He already had me kill Ethan’s sister, so he wouldn’t blink twice before ordering me to kill Ethan too. Little does he know that this time I’ll refuse and walk out of those doors before I do that. Sebastian is old enough now to hold his own, and he hasn’t got a little brother to be bribed with like I did when I was only two years older than he is now.
“He’s seen the security footage of that night,” I grit out.
To my astonishment, my father falters, looking at Ethan with narrowed eyes. I frown at him, wondering what could have caused him to hesitate like that. My heart is pounding fast, as I ask him the million-dollar question..
“Did something else happen that night?”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Ethan
Devin’s hold on my shoulders is the only thing stopping me from lashing out right now. I’m sitting in the chair, vibrating with barely restrained fury at the words this arrogant asshole, who is almost the spitting image of Devin, is spewing about my sister. He knows what he’s doing, and he doesn’t care how it’s making me feel, in fact he seems determined to create a violent response from me. Devin’s words stop me in my tracks, and I turn to look up at him before I glance back to Mr. Johnson, who is looking at me with an unfathomable expression on his face.
Devin is shooting daggers at his father, and his hands tighten on my shoulders. I’m shocked when I realize that it’s not to stop me, but to keep himself in place instead. I did see the footage of that night, but I couldn’t unscramble all of it. There were parts of that night which will forever remain a mystery to me.
“What did you do?” Devin’s tone is low and threatening.
“I’m surprised he didn’t tell you.” Mr. Johnson looks coldly at me before refocusing on his son.
“He might have. But, I want to hear it from your lips, Father,” Devin responds evasively.
“Son, you made me proud. You did what I asked of you. You were always too soft when it came to Sebastian,” he begins, and I’m hoping Devin isn’t sidetracked by the obvious diversion attempts.
“Tell me what you did!” Devin booms, demanding an answer to his question.
His grip is almost painful now, and it’s distracting me enough to not lunge at Mr. Johnson who answers in a cold and clinical tone, “I didn’t believe you’d be able to go through with it. Your refusal left me in a tight spot, so I... took care of things.”
“You killed her, and you let me believe I’d done it?” Devin asks incredulously.
“You killed her son, but she would’ve died anyway. I spiked her drink with a lethal amount of ecstasy during the ball.”
I lose it. His callous words and complete disregard for Katy’s life send a white-hot fury raging through me. I lunge at him, punching him across the jaw. Devin grabs me, pulling me back and holding me to him, wrapping his arms in a tight band around my body.
“Let me go!” I snarl, struggling against him.
“No,” he replies, locking me into place.
Lifting my leg I kick his knee, and stomp on his instep. He lets me go with a grunt of pain. Shoving Devin away from me, I turn and straighten up, but an ominous click makes me pause. I look towards Mr. Johnson, who’s standing calmly behind his desk with a gun aimed directly at me, and another sitting just below his hand on the desk in front of him.
“I suggest you stop, Mr. Drake,” he sneers, aim never faltering. “Devin, take the other gun.”
“No, I won’t do it, Father,” Devin says, breathing heavily, back on his feet and moving to stand next to me.
“Damn it, Devin. Do as you’re told!” he bellows, but Devin shakes his head. “It seems years of training and working for me haven’t toughened you up like I thought. You’re still the same weak coward you always were.”
“I’d rather be a coward than do your dirty work anymore. I’m done, Father.”
“Fine, if you won’t, then I’ll have to.”
A muffled gunshot splits the air, but I don’t have time to react before I’m being shoved to the floor by Devin. He lands heavily on top of me, and smirks when I turn to look up at him in surprise. Did he just save my life?
“Stay down,” he murmurs, and uses his father’s desk to get unsteadily to his feet.
He grimaces, but stands tall and straight, and I realize he’s holding the gun. Devin’s breathing is labored, but he doesn’t falter. Is he hurt?
“No more, Father. I told you, I’m done.”
He squeezes the trigger and the loud sound of a gunshot fills the room just as the office door bursts open and Devin collapses to the floor.
“Father? Devin?” Sebastian’s voice reaches me, and I roll over, scrambling to check on Devin. “Ethan?”
“Sebastian, get over here!” I shout, and my heart jolts as I spot a dark patch of red blossoming on Devin’s chest.
He saved my life, and now he’s dying, bleeding out right in front of me. Sebastian rushes over to where I’m kneeling next to Devin and I apply pressure to the wound.
“Did it come out!” I snap, and Sebastian carefully moves his brother to check.
“Yes.”
I’m both relieved and worried at the same time, it’s a clean shot but it’s going to be harder to stop him bleeding out. I carefully maneuver him into an upright position and press firmly against his injuries from both sides with my palms. I could let him die, but no matter what he’s done, I’m not sure he deserves that. I’m more conflicted than ever, but Katy wouldn’t want me to let someone die if I could save them, even though this man is responsible for her death.
Sebastian is speaking in the background, but I focus on Devin, and keeping the pressure steady.
“An ambulance is on its way.”
I hear Sebastian move around the desk. “What about your father?”
“He’s dead. What happened, Ethan?”
“Your father killed Katy, and then he tried to kill me.”
Sebast
ian’s expression hardens at the mention of Katy’s name, and I wonder how much her death affected him too. She was his girlfriend, but first and foremost she was my little sister. The bleeding starts to slow, but so does Devin’s breathing.
“Fuck. How long until the ambulance will get here?!” I cut across before he can respond, and his expression turns fearful.
“They should be here any minute,” he says, and sirens cut through the air in the distance, moving closer.
Walking around his father’s desk and picking up the phone, he barks authoritatively into the receiver. “Security, let the ambulance in and send them straight to my father’s office.”
“Don’t die,” I tell him, doing my best to curb the worry building inside of me.
The door bursts open and paramedics rush in and quickly assess the situation.
“He’s been shot. Through and through. My father too, but he’s dead. Help him,” Sebastian fills them in, gesturing to me and Devin.
The paramedics move to take over and I stand and move away, letting them. Sebastian throws me a grateful expression as he leaves with them. I stand there silently, watching as they whisk Devin away and two more come in to collect his father’s body. I exit the room, feeling overwhelmed and in shock at everything that’s occurred in such a short span of time. I look down at my hands which are red and glistening with Devin’s blood. Overcome by the weight of what I’ve just seen and what Devin did, the image of how he shoved me out of the way of his father’s bullet. I sink to the floor, breathing heavily and shaking as I replay it in my mind. Devin killed my sister, but he just saved my life.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Ethan
My plan to disappear after doing what Devin wanted of me has been put on hold indefinitely. I still can’t stop replaying the incident in his father’s office over and over. He’s still in the hospital, but he’s recovering well. I’ve not been to see him, although I’ve been given permission to. How do I face him after all of this? What could I even say to him?
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