When Sebastian came to me after getting back from the hospital to tell me that Devin had been stabilized but was still unconscious he grilled me for every detail about it. It was a tense conversation during which I ended up showing him the footage I’d found and saved as evidence in case I needed to blackmail them further. I didn’t end up needing to, Devin had made the decision to turn himself in off his own back. I’m still not sure why I hung around to wait for information, but I couldn’t seem to bring myself to leave without knowing the outcome.
A couple of days after Devin was shot, Sebastian returns home from the hospital in a foul mood and confronts me in Devin’s room, where I ended up crashing after using his shower and borrowing some of his clothes. Luckily, he’s not too much taller than me, although his clothes don’t fit me as well as they do him. Devin is awake and it seems he’s told Sebastian about his plan to go to the cops.
“Devin told me about the deal you two made before coming back to the house. He’s insisting that he’s going to do it as soon as he leaves the hospital. The arrogant jerk won’t listen to me when I try to convince him otherwise. While I hate that he was a part of Katy’s death, and I know you do too, he can’t be held fully responsible for it either. I believe him now that it was an accident. It doesn’t make it better for me though, considering my father was the one to initiate the entire thing and cover up the truth, leaving Quinn to be the one who was blamed for it…” Sebastian trails off.
Even though Sebastian has since moved on, I think he may have cared a little more for Katy than anyone realized, although I doubt he would ever admit to it.
“He said that if I came back and fixed everything, he’d make sure Katy got the justice she deserved. He also admitted that she wasn’t the only death he had on his hands,” I point out.
“I know what he did for my father. I knew his secret even though he did everything he could to keep it from me. I’m not blind to what has gone on in this house, Ethan,” he says, sounding stern.
I’m startled by the fierceness in his tone, and I realize that while Sebastian may only be eighteen years old, he’s mature beyond his years. I can already see the way he’s stepping into the role left unfilled in Devin’s absence and following his father’s death and it’s been merely hours—actually, no. He took control of the situation from the moment he called the ambulance.
I’m hit by the fact that out of all the Johnson men, Sebastian is the only one who has truly earned my respect. It helps that he’s never done me wrong, and while I may hold a bead of resentment toward him for bringing Katy into his world, he couldn’t have predicted the outcome of that. He’s not his father, and he’s not Devin. There’s more to him than meets the eye. I don’t know what secrets are fueling him right now, but I sense that he’s not as innocent as Devin would no doubt prefer him to be. There’s darkness in this family, and each of the men carry a different part of it within them.
My heart becomes somewhat lighter at the news about Devin being awake. I feel some of the tension I wasn't aware I’d been carrying slowly begin to ebb. I’m not entirely sure when I became invested in Devin’s wellbeing, but I suspect it was when I fought so hard to keep him alive in that office instead of letting him bleed out. Sebastian wants me to talk Devin out of going to the cops about the murders, but I’m of two minds because while he did save my life, he’s also partially responsible for the loss of Katy’s. I’m also wondering whether his statement would be dismissed by the police as I’m sure the pockets of The Society are deep when it comes to protecting their own.
“You have to talk him out of it. You do realize that the other families are unlikely to allow him to open his mouth about it, because him admitting to murder would bring the entire Society into disrepute and under investigation for everything they’ve sought to keep secret from the world.”
“Does he know that?” I ask, and Sebastian gives me a scathing look.
“He’d be an idiot not to expect some kind of repercussion for spilling secrets and drawing attention to our Society.”
My blood runs cold at his words. He’s right. They’d kill him before they’d allow that to happen. I’ve not forgiven him for what he was a part of, but I didn’t work to keep him alive only for him to get himself killed right after.
“Fuck. I’ll do it. I’ll go down there and convince him not to do it.”
“Thank you, Ethan. I know it won’t be easy. You wanted justice for Katy, and while Devin may have dealt the final blow, the man who’s really responsible is dead. Devin has paid for it in blood, and he put his life on the line for you. Don’t forget that,” Sebastian says sharply.
“I haven’t forgotten. I’ll do this, but don’t ask anything more of me, because if you do then the answer will be no.”
Epilogue
Devin
The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes were the familiar brown hues of Sebastian. I’ve been in the hospital for several days now, and it still hurts every time I shift or breathe. My father is dead and I’m sure Ethan still hates me, although Sebastian seems to think he’s coming round. He told me that after he walked in on us when I shot our father that I’d collapsed, and Ethan was the one who held me and did everything he could to stop me from dying on my father’s office floor.
I’m restless and want out, but the doctors and nurses have insisted I remain here for a few more days due to the heavy blood loss I suffered. The doctor informed me that they lost me briefly in the ambulance ride on the way to the hospital. I have shit to do, and I don’t want to be lying around in bed. My argument isn’t helped by the fact that I’m hit with a wave of dizziness and my legs nearly give out every time I stand. I can deal with the pain, but even I have to begrudgingly admit that I’m still very weak.
So far Sebastian has been back every day to visit me, and after I told him my plan to go to the cops about Katy's death, each time since he’s attempted to talk me into reneging on the deal I made with Ethan. He’s attempted to warn me what The Society will do if they find out my intentions, but I didn’t need him to tell me that. I’m fully aware of the repercussions of divulging Society secrets and what they will do to anyone who draws attention to what goes on behind the closed doors of our organization.
A knock on my hospital room door draws my attention and pulls me out of my thoughts.
“Come in!” I invite whoever’s out there.
The door opens slowly, and I’m astonished to see Ethan walk through it and into the room. He looks nervous, and unsure as he approaches, and when he glances at my chest to where the gown is masking the bandage, I smile. I’ve never seen him like this, he’s always been confident and sure of himself, but without the arrogance that I’m fully aware I carry.
I don’t say anything, waiting to see if he’ll break the silence first. Instead, I use the time to look him over, and check that he’s alright. His brown hair is windswept, and his blue eyes look tired, and as I drag my gaze lower I have to fight back a groan, only it’s not one of pain, it’s of longing, because he’s wearing my clothes. I’m annoyed that the gown and blanket does nothing to hide the more obvious sign of my desire, because this is not the time, or the place to be getting a raging hard on. Besides, there are more pressing things to worry about than the fact I still can’t seem to control myself when it comes to Ethan. I can’t deny that he looks fucking hot in my clothes though.
“Devin, did you know when you made that deal with me, what might happen?” he asks quietly, and I look away.
So that’s why he’s here.
“Yes, I did.”
“And when your father tried to shoot me, why did you stop him? You could’ve gotten away with everything if he’d killed me.”
My throat is thick, and I swallow down the lump that’s stuck there, “I did it to protect you. You were back in that house because of me, although I couldn’t honestly have guaranteed your safety had you refused to cooperate, so I offered you the only thing I had left. My life, Ethan. Whether at my father’s hand
or The Reapers, I made you a promise and I intended to keep it. I still do. Why did you save me, you could’ve let me die, and you’d have still been free. My father is dead, and Sebastian isn’t about to go out and harm Katy’s family after what I did, what my father did.”
“Katy. She wouldn’t have wanted me to let you die when I could save you, regardless of what you did. I wanted justice, I wanted payback, I wanted revenge. I sold my soul for it, and to you no less, but I didn’t want you dead. I still don’t.”
What’s left of my heart thumps unevenly in my chest. “You can have it back. I have no right to it anyway. This doesn’t change the fact that I made you a promise, and I need to honor it.”
“For fuck’s sake, Devin. It’s much too late for that. You nearly died, were willing to die to save me. Hell, from what Sebastian was telling me, you did die briefly. There’s nothing more you can offer because you’ve already given it all,” he finishes, and I frown at him in confusion.
“What’s too late? My offer?”
I watch as Ethan rolls his eyes and his lips kick up in the corners, “I thought you were smarter than this, but apparently you’re more dense than I anticipated. There’s no point in throwing away your life now, so don’t. Don’t go to the cops. Also, it’s too late to take back my soul, Devin. Somehow, in all this mess you’ve branded yourself on me. I still fucking hate you, though,” he tacks on at the end, and I laugh, then immediately grimace as the pain stabs through my body from the entry wound.
“Are you okay?” he asks, concerned.
“I will be. What about you?” I fire back at him.
“I will be,” he mimics, and we lapse into silence.
I’ll never be able to truly earn his forgiveness, and I’m not sure I’ll ever earn my own. But, as we sit in silence in my hospital room, I begin to think that maybe there may be more hope and light in my future than I ever anticipated and maybe someday it’ll eclipse the darkness of my past.
About Ally Vance
Ally is an International Bestselling Author who writes in the Dark Romance & Horror genres. Ally also co-writes with her close friend Michelle under the pen name Ally Michelle. Ally lives in Kent, in the United Kingdom with her husband, stepson, and two cats.
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To my Grims’
You have given me blood
Chapter One
Kenji
It all started with a dare. One which pitted us against each other since we were ten.
Who knew two brothers—twins, no less—would ruin their lives on one word. Wager.
My brother, Atlas, gives the stakes. “I dare you to kiss Stacy Castillo… on the lips!” It’s our tenth birthday, and he gets bored easily, so I try not to put too much thought into his question. I stare at him, watching as he dribbles the basketball in front of me as if H.O.R.S.E. wasn’t what he intended at all when bringing me out here. I’m already a H.O., yet he wants to plummet me at this point, making me a full mare on the court. It’s not unusual for him; he’s all about taunting, making the plays, and winning. Not today. Not this time. Not when I’m already mad at him for stealing my Nintendo 64, that he proceeded to smash with a bat.
I’ll win this time.
Show him I’m not scared of his stupid games.
He’s always been the aggressor and me the calm twin. He’ll learn that pushing too far doesn’t end with smiles.
Down at the playground, Stacy plays with Rusty, Elena, and Tristan. They take turns jumping out of the swings, seeing who can go higher and farther. It’s a dumb game and takes zero talent—that’s why me and Atlas play ones with losses. If you lose, you have to do something the other person wants. And you can’t say no.
“Okay,” I agree.
“If you don’t kiss her, you have to give me your gift from Nan for our birthday.” Nan always gives us money, saying kids are too hard to shop for. Which means we’ll buy a ton of candy or have Adeline—our aunt—get us some firecrackers from the Black Cat store. She loves getting back at dad, so she’ll definitely be willing to score us some.
“Fine. If I win, you have to trade me rooms. Since yours is bigger.”
“Deal.” He rolls his eyes at his own response, turning away to shoot a hoop. Now, I’m a H.O.R. We’re always on opposing sides, and he tends to win everything he tries for. It should upset me, but it only drives me to work harder, be more fearless, and beat him because being a loser sucks.
I race to Stacy, stumbling as the ground seems to swallow my feet, with the thought of only wanting to win keeping me from falling. It’s an easy one for us. Kiss a stupid girl, get a bigger room. Painless. Right? She’s sitting on the big spider monkey dome in the center of the park, and my cousin Elena talks next to her. It’s in view of the swings, almost an in-between type course to play as she waits to swing again. She sees me and waves, jumping off the set right as I’m nearing it, leaving a scowling Elena alone. My feet crunch in the rocks more as I slow, remembering how many times I’ve fallen into these and hated that they weren’t soft. Scraped knees and bruises were the result of these stupid pebbles.
“Hey, Kenjington,” she sounds out, bringing me in for a hug. It’s warm, but not in a welcoming sort of way. It’s not like when Atlas or Mom hug me. My stomach feels all uncomfortable for some reason, not liking her arms or body pressed into me. But there’s no time like the present. Now or never. I pull back, making her body not touch more than my hands on her shoulders, and kiss her on her lips, hating myself for the action.
She giggles, wiping her mouth in almost surprise. “Guess Atlas loses,” she muses. And something inside me explodes. I’m not sure if it’s anger or what, but I push her into the rocks and run away, not realizing then a very important thing. Girls are gross, and I’m not into them. Even when he loses, he still comes out triumphant.
Years pass and the wagers get higher and more dangerous, bringing us both to our knees. Mostly me, since he’s shameless in every aspect. He always does my dares, but I tend to stumble and fall on more occasions than not. It’s like he knows exactly what brings me to my knees to keel for his power. We’re fifteen now, our parents are gone 90 percent of the time, and these games are all that solidify our relationship to each other. Not that being twins doesn’t, but we’re far from normal siblings. Stupid things happen when parental control is nowhere to be seen, but it keeps us close. Mom and Dad rarely are around. Aunt Adeline and our cousin Elena are more present in our lives than anyone else. It’s depressing, but I try not to think of their abandonment.
“They didn’t show up again,” I mutter, walking toward Atlas, trying to hide my disappointment. It’s our birthday, again, and we’re watching some action movie I haven’t paid a single ounce of attention to, instead watching the door for them to walk through. My mind travels to Mom and Dad and how they’ve been gone for months this time. Nan passed last year, and she was the only family that showed up besides Adeline and Elena, but they don’t count since they live in Silvercrest. It’s not like it’s a far reach. Nan actually liked us. Our parents, well, we never know what they feel. They’re as stony as Easter Island.
“Who fucking cares, KJ. They’re worthless,” Atlas hisses, his hands balled into fists. In the last few years, my brother has become so volatile. He’s always frustrated and punching things. Worry of what the next year will entail gnaws at me. What if he loses control? I can’t lose him too.
“Don’t say that. They care—” I argue, but in reality, I just want him to hold out on hope. Being the only one with some makes me feel stupid.
“Get that thought out of your mind. Only I care. Only me. It’ll only ever be us,” he declares, coming toward me with a fierceness that never ceases to take my breath away. I nod sadly, knowing he’s right but unwilling to acknowledge how powerful that realization is at the same time.
“Let’s play our game,” Atlas offers, twisting his lip ring. Last year, out of spite, my brother st
arted getting tattoos and piercings. They travel from his wrists up his shoulders, and he has one on his hip that climbs his abs. It’s intense. He’s intense.
If we weren’t part of the Society—a patriarchal old-money label that gives us insurmountable power—I’m sure they’d keep their word from legalities of doing body modifications to teens. I’m not sure what the Society is, other than power I use and abuse, but I’ve never understood it. He rebels way more than me. Unlike him, I’m not as brave. The only thing I did was get my ears pierced. Atlas likes to tell me how big a pussy it makes me.
“Dare you to steal Aunt Adeline’s car when she visits tomorrow,” Atlas taunts. “Bet you’re too scared.”
“Am not, liar. I can do it,” I hiss, pushing his shoulder. I’m tall enough. Atlas and I grew a lot this last year. Being identical twins has made us more conscious of changes. What I see in him tends to reflect to me. Even if he’s the one with the darker soul.
“Then do it,” he demands, punching my shoulder. “Don’t be a pussy, KJ.”
And I did.
A bet that started innocent enough changed at some point, getting darker and darker. Somewhere down the line, they turned from mischievous to evil. We got away with a lot. When I say a lot, I mean everything. Between our parents giving us endless funds, the town knowing our power, and kids wanting to share in our spotlight, we controlled it all. From school to this entire fucking town, the world was at our feet. Over the years, the stakes went higher and when we were seventeen, they changed us forever.
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