Grape!

by Gabriel Arquilevich

  Abe started sobbing.

  I guess he had some tears left after all.

  I crawled into my sleeping bag. I could feel the pocketknife pressing through my pillow, and the thing is, my heart was thumping.

  Then I heard the tent zipper.

  “Hey, Grape,” Ezra said, “you still up?”

  “Um…yeah.”

  “Crazy day, huh?”

  “Yeah. I’m really sorry about your finger.”

  “It’ll be fine, just bruised.”

  “I have this friend, Lou, and….”

  Ezra waited for me to go on, but I didn’t.

  “Hey, didn’t you want to talk about what the rabbi said?”

  “Oh, no. Never mind.”

  “Okay. And hey, Grape?”

  “Yeah?”

  “That’s too bad about Abe’s pocketknife.”

  “Yeah, it is.”

  “Well, good night.”

  “Good night.”

  Mrs. C, it wasn’t a good night. I couldn’t sleep at all.

  After a while, I heard Ezra snoring and I felt the pocketknife pressing against my skull and my heart kept thumping, so I slid super quietly out of my sleeping bag, and then I grabbed the pocketknife, and then I unzipped the tent and walked away from the tent barefooted and in my boxers, and I must have passed a hundred trees, and it was cold and the pine needles and pebbles stung my feet, and I heard an owl hooting, and then I went down a slope and then I got to a meadow.

  I stopped and dug a hole and put Abe’s Swiss Army pocketknife in the hole and covered it, then I looked up.

  Mrs. C, it was like the sky was touching the earth, and the stars were so close together they looked like clouds.

  It’s hard to explain, but even though I was shivering in my boxers and my bare feet stung, and even though I stole Abe’s pocketknife and buried it forever, I was super happy.

  When I got back to the tent and into my sleeping bag Ezra asked me if I was okay.

  “I had to pee.”

  “That must have been a long pee.”

  “Super long. The thing is, um.…”

  “What is it, Grape?”

  “I just stayed out there. The stars were so bright, and I started thinking about what the rabbi said.”

  “Oh, no. Okay, let’s talk about it tomorrow.”

  “And Ezra?”

  “What?”

  “Do you think I can see him again?”

  “Who?”

  “The rabbi.”

  “I think so. Maybe. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

  I didn’t get to see the rabbi again, but Sherman came to see Oliver! and he said it was pretty good even though he would have done a few things differently if he’d been stage manager, and I never got my hat back from Abe, but I didn’t care. I felt super bad about stealing his Swiss Army pocketknife. I mean, I never stole anything in my whole life.

  And the thing is, I couldn’t blame the spiders.

  THE TROUBLE WITH THE BICENTENNIAL

  June 13, 1976

  Mrs. C, sixth grade started off great!

  First, the court said Lou could live with his mom as long as he spent every summer in New York with his dad!

  And then, guess what?

  Clair was in my class again!

  And we got Tammy again!

  She tried to explain it to us. She said something about a new way of teaching and something about a summer conference, but nobody cared because we were so happy.

  And then, at the end of the year, it was the bicentennial!

  But that’s where the trouble started.

  One day Tammy came to class dressed like a colonial lady and Dog was wearing a fancy colonial hat, and when we walked in, there was a slip of paper on our desks, like the kind you attach to your luggage.

  I raised my hand.

  “Yep, what is it, Grape?”

  “Tammy, what are these for?”

  “You guys really want to know?”

  “Yes!”

  “Are you sure? I can just do a history lesson if you want.”

  “No!”

  “All right. Here’s the deal. You’re going to write your name and address on one side, and on the other you write a patriotic message. You can make something up or choose from the list I gave you yesterday.”

  So far this was pretty boring.

  Then Tammy made it un-boring.

  “And in a few minutes the bell’s going to ring and we’re going to line up by the field and you’re going to tie your message to a balloon, and when Mrs. C gives us the signal, we’ll let the balloons go! And who knows, you might get a letter back! Your balloon could float to Arizona or Colorado!”

  Lou raised his hand and asked if it was possible for a balloon to make it to New York, but before Tammy could answer him, Sherman said there’s no way a balloon would make it that far, and he started to talk about weather conditions.

  Even Bully Jim raised his hand.

  “Mine’s going to land up in Wasco,” he said, “so my old man can read it.”

  “Wonderful!” Tammy said. “Is that where your dad lives, Jim?”

  “You could say that.”

  And then Clair raised her hand. “Tammy, do you think it’s at all possible that a balloon might make it to Texas?”

  Before Sherman could answer, Tammy said, “Anything’s possible! Now, get writing! Something patriotic!”

  Well, Mrs. C, that was the problem.

  I didn’t feel patriotic.

  I felt in love.

  I read through all the quotes on Tammy’s list but none of them were about love.

  “RIIINNG!”

  “Okay, everyone, line up!”

  I only had time to write four words.

  I super love Clair.

  Our class lined up in front of the playing field, where there was this giant clump of red, white, and blue balloons, like a giant balloon flower.

  Then, Mrs. C, you called out on your bullhorn.

  “Hey, Rolling Hills! Are you ready to do this thing?”

  “Yes!”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes!”

  “All right, then. I need you to listen carefully to my directions. Is that a deal?”

  “Deal!” everyone said.

  “Okay, first, stay in your class line. When it’s your turn, take a balloon from the aide, then carefully tie your message to the ribbon, then wait on the field for countdown!”

  This was super cool!

  I was behind Lou, and Sherman was behind me, and Clair was behind Sherman. I kept trying to look at her and not look at her at the same time.

  And then Sherman asked me what I wrote.

  “What do you mean?” I said.

  “For your message. On the paper. What did you write?”

  “Um…well, I wrote, The Statue of Liberty.”

  “What do you mean you wrote, The Statue of Liberty?”

  “Well, I thought it was cool that they built it.”

  “Who?”

  “Um…those guys in the Colonies.”

  “Grape, they didn’t build the Statue of Liberty. It was a gift from France about a hundred years later.”

  “Oh, that’s what I meant,” I said. “What about you?”

  “I wrote, The doors of wisdom are never shut, by Benjamin Franklin.”

  “That’s not super patriotic.”

  “I know, but I heard it from my rabbi.”

  “Oh. Well, cool quote.”

  “Yes it is.”

  Mrs. C, for some reason our line was moving super slowly, so I looked up.

  “Hey, Sherman,” I said, “what do you think that turkey vulture’s going to think when a million balloons are in the sky
?”

  “What turkey vulture?”

  I pointed.

  “Grape, that’s not a turkey vulture. It’s an eagle.”

  I couldn’t believe it. I knew something Sherman didn’t know! And I was sure Clair could hear me!

  “Actually,” I said, “it’s a turkey vulture. When you see their faces up close, you’ll know why they call them that.”

  “Oh, I see.”

  “The reason people think they’re eagles is because of the way they fly. You don’t think of vultures flying so pretty like that. You just think of them sitting on telephone poles waiting for something to die, like in the cartoons, but—”

  “I see what you mean,” Sherman said.

  Mrs. C, I was so proud about the turkey vulture thing that I turned to Clair.

  “Hey, um…what did you write on your slip, you know, the patriotic thing?”

  “I wrote, Great necessities call out great virtues, by Abigail Adams.”

  “That’s super cool,” I said.

  “Thank you, Grape.”

  “You’re welcome, Clair.”

  Then Lou turned around.

  “Dude!” he said. “Why is our line moving so slow? Look at that line over there, they’re almost done getting their balloons.”

  “That’s not fair!” Clair said.

  “I’ll see what’s happening!” I said.

  So, Mrs. C, I broke your rule and I stepped out of line and walked closer to the balloon flower. It had lost some of its balloon petals, but the thing is, there was this one super red balloon, and it was weird because it was bigger than the other balloons and kind of square instead of round.

  That’s probably the official school balloon, I thought.

  But as I got closer, I could see that it wasn’t an official balloon.

  It was Miss Roof’s giant pile of alien hair!

  What was she doing there?

  Then I remembered that she was an aide.

  And the thing is, the reason our line was moving so slow is that Miss Roof was reading the messages out loud. Every one of them! None of the other aides were doing that!

  I ran back to my spot.

  “So, dude,” Lou said, “what did you find out?”

  “Huh?”

  “About the line?”

  “Oh, Miss Roof is there, and she’s reading what we wrote out loud.”

  Mrs. C, now the line was moving way too fast. Pretty soon I could see her face, and I watched a blue balloon bonk against her red alien hair, and I started to sweat because I didn’t know what to do. I mean, if Miss Roof read my message out loud, I might as well be attached to one of those balloons and fly away forever.

  So I crumpled the slip and shoved it down my pants.

  Lou kept saying, “Dude, this is going too slow,” and Sherman was still looking at the sky, so I guess they didn’t notice.

  Then I peeked over at Clair. She was looking right at me, and her jaw kind of dropped.

  I could feel the note pressing against my nut sack.

  Then I heard Miss Roof.

  “Grape,” she said, “let me see your quote.”

  I looked at her.

  “Give me your quote, Grape. People are waiting.”

  “Um…I lost it.”

  “You lost it?”

  “Yes.”

  “How did you lose it?”

  “I don’t know. I think I dropped it. I can ask Tammy for—”

  “Well, then, you’re free to go.”

  “What about a balloon?”

  “You don’t get one.”

  “I don’t? Why not?”

  “No quote, no balloon.”

  “Yeah, but—”

  She just stared at me.

  “Can’t you see all the other students waiting?” she said.

  I stepped out of line and waited for Sherman and Lou, and they asked why I didn’t have a balloon and I told them I didn’t want a stupid balloon, and I stared at my shoes while the school band played “Star Spangled Banner,” and then the countdown started, and then the sky filled with red-white-and-blue balloons with patriotic messages tied to them.

  The turkey vulture flew away.

  Mrs. C, after that I hated everything to do with the bicentennial. I even told Lou maybe it would have been better if we’d lost the war. Then we would still be part of England and have those cool accents like the Artful Dodger.

  But Tammy loved the bicentennial.

  Every Monday morning she played us a song from the musical 1776, and then we would read the lyrics and talk about them, and she would play the song again during cleanup, and there was a super cool one when John Adams says we’re waiting for the eaglet to be born, and there’s this one that was Tammy’s favorite when Abigail and John Adams sing a love song and Abigail says she feels like she’s a nun in a place called a cloister, and Tammy explained what a cloister was, and another super sad one where this soldier sings to his mom, and he keeps singing, “Momma, look sharp,” and the thing is you don’t know until it’s almost over that he’s already dead, and at the very end his mom sings back to him that she’ll bury him beneath the maple tree.

  When Tammy played it the first time I saw Clair wiping tears off her freckles.

  Mrs. C, I love Clair.

  And then one day Tammy said she had a big announcement.

  “So, you guys are probably wondering why I keep playing these 1776 songs, and why we keep studying the lyrics.”

  “Maybe because you like gay songs,” Bully Jim said.

  “I do, Jim. I love gay songs!” Tammy said. “They make me very happy.”

  Everyone laughed, even Bully Jim.

  Sherman raised his hand. “Because we’re going to have a test?”

  “At the end of the unit, yes,” she said, “but that’s not why. Any other ideas?”

  “Are we going to act out the play?” I asked.

  “You’re getting warmer! All right, you guys want to know?”

  “YES!”

  “Well, if you guys thought the balloon thing was a big deal, wait till you hear this!”

  Tammy sat on the edge of her desk and told us that in the history of Rolling Hills the school had never rented a movie theater until now.

  “And guess what we’re going to watch?” she said.

  “A gay movie with gay music?” Bully Jim said.

  “Yes!” Tammy said.

  “You mean 1776?” Clair said.

  “Yes!” Tammy said.

  I couldn’t believe it! Everyone went crazy and I got out of my chair and ran around my desk in circles and Sherman kept saying, “I see,” and Lou stood up and did air boxing and Clair had both hands over her mouth and Bully Jim smiled and Dog barked and Tammy kept laughing and saying “Calm down!” at the same time.

  “All right, wild creatures,” she said, “I’m handing out permission slips. You’ll need to have them signed and returned. Just remember to read over the rules with your parents. Are there any questions?”

  Sherman asked if we were allowed to buy snacks.

  “I don’t see why not,” Tammy said.

  It was cool taking the bus to school and then getting on the bus again to go to the movie theater. Tammy was dressed as a colonial lady, and on the way she made the bus driver play the 1776 songs, and everyone was singing, and the thing is, Bully Jim was sitting right next to me and even he was singing.

  It was just like camp!

  Mrs. C, I was so happy that I put my arm around Bully Jim.

  He didn’t like that.

  He shoved me super hard and I fell into the aisle.

  “Get off me, fagpants!” he said, and the singing stopped.

  “Hey!” Lou said. “Don’t shove him, you big wussy!”

  Bully Jim steppe
d toward Lou, and Lou stepped toward Bully Jim, and they just stared at each other, and the thing is, even though Lou was a lot shorter than Bully Jim, he had his super mean face on, and with all his pimples and his braces and his KISS hat turned backwards, he looked super scary.

  Tammy rushed over.

  “No!” she said. “No! No! No! No!”

  “Tammy,” Bully Jim said, “he tried to kiss me!”

  Tammy looked at me, then at Bully Jim.

  “You come with me,” she said to him.

  There was an empty seat up front. I could see Bully Jim sitting there and Tammy kneeling and talking to him with her hand on his shoulder. He nodded his head a few times, then Tammy took his hat off and ruffled his hair.

  Then she walked back to me.

  “Grape, are you all right?”

  I said I was.

  “And Lou, what was that about?”

  Lou’s head was turned to the window.

  I wanted to tell Tammy that Lou’s mom and dad are getting a divorce and for a while Lou didn’t know if he would have to move to New York, and his mom and dad fought about who gets to keep him, and he was the first kid to get pimples, and that’s why he got mean and stole things, and that’s why he’s not afraid of Bully Jim, and no matter what he’s still my best friend.

  “Lou?” Tammy said.

  Lou didn’t answer.

  So I did.

  “It was my fault, Tammy. I thought for a minute I was at camp, and at camp it’s okay to put your arm around other kids, and the thing is, I have these spiders in my brain, and sometimes they take over.”

  Lou kind of chuckle-cried.

  “Spiders?” Tammy said.

  “Yeah. When I was a baby I cracked my skull and spiders crawled in my brain and they’re still in there and sometimes they crawl around and make me do weird things.”

  “Grape, I know exactly what you mean.”

  “You do?”

  “I do.”

  And then, right there in the middle of the bus, Tammy started singing the Abigail Adams part about being a nun in a cloister, and she was looking at me the whole time, and then guess what, Mrs. C?

  I stood up and sang the John Adams part!

  And she sang back!

  And then the best thing in the world happened.

  Clair started singing with her!

  Mrs. C, I love the bicentennial!