by Kenna Bardot
“Take it off.” She gave a nonchalant shrug at my uniform, and I resisted a chuckle.
“Oh! Bra too! I’ve more of that, honey, so don’t be shy.” She winked when I hesitated and her tone was far too excited for my liking, but I did what she said and let her drop an eggplant-colored dress over my head. The front was modest enough, or would have been if I’d worn a bra, but the back felt bare with the exception of some lace-up straps. Too much of my leg was revealed too and tugging on it revealed too much cleavage. There was no winning with this dress.
As I did so, she tugged at my hair and, long and thick, it rained down my back. She shrugged the mass of it over one of my shoulders, leaving my back open to the air.
Thrusting a pair of wedges at me, she pointed, and I sat down to struggle with it even as I rolled my eyes. I didn’t want to bother telling her I’d fall on my face since she was likely to ignore that too.
“Mirror, mirror, mirror!” She clapped her hands. My legs shook in terror as I stepped over to the mirror, and not just due to the challenge presented by the shoes. The girl in the mirror looked nothing like the reflection I was used to. Big, glittering brown eyes, strong cheekbones, and plump red lips. My skin was almost luminescent from whatever Lottie’d done to it. “I-I never knew this was possible.”
She gave me a quick squeeze. “See? You’re beautiful! I’ll teach you, and it’s not hard. Your face is a wonderful canvas.” She gave my hand a tug, yanking me toward the door so harshly I stumbled.
“Wait! I admit I don’t look half bad but we haven’t talked about this dress. This dress is way too short, Lot!” I shrieked.
“Well, I do tend to wear it more as a top if I’m being honest. But, too late,” she laughed, and we were out the door. She hurried us to the party in the attic, ignoring my protests even as I stumbled awkwardly.
The party was already in full swing when we walked in, music thumping through the space. “How do the Docents not discover this?” Bodies stood or danced everywhere, a crush of nearly every student in the Air track and even some who were training to be Ink Mages in a room far too small.
“They were all students at one point, Kaia, but as part of the tradition, we do change the location every year. Some of the students take shifts to keep the sound from escaping the room. But we’re all adults here; we can all drink; we can all have sex. So they don’t make the effort of trying to stop us.” Lottie shrugged, and something in me eased at the knowledge that I wouldn’t be caught. The last thing I needed was more trouble.
“Lottie,” a cute guy said, approaching from the right. He gave her a smile, but she simply patted his cheek in return.
“Not tonight, Otto.” He gave a brisk nod, turning away at her dismissal. She shrugged at me. “Otto serves his purpose when I’m so inclined, but I’m not in the mood tonight.” I laughed at the casualness of it all. To the side, my eyes met Vali’s as he stared at me. I tried not to wince at the sight of Pia Ramos draped over his arm, her stunning face glaring at me as Vali and I had our moment.
“Kaia Wren,” Alec Gaius’ voice snapped me out of the moment, and I twisted to face him as his hand rested on my lower back. His fingers toyed with the tie of the lace up part of my dress.
“Kaia,” Lottie interjected. “Come get a drink with me.”
“Charlotte, darling,” Alec smiled at her, all perfect refinement. “Do find another way to entertain yourself at this moment. I’m afraid Kaia Wren is otherwise occupied.” Lottie’s eyes came to mine, and I gave a hesitant nod, though I intended to find my way back to her soon enough.
She huffed, glaring at Alec before spinning on her heel. “I’m so glad I never slept with you, AG.”
“Damn, she got the last word.” He gave a small laugh, but his attention turned to me, a smirk gracing those taunting lips.
“What do you want?” I went for bold.
His eyebrow rose and eyes flashed with amusement. “Seems the little one found some claws. Is this all for me?” His smooth voice left no doubt that he assumed it was.
“No.” I realized the answer was obvious. True. “It’s for me. And maybe whoever I decide I want to touch me tonight.” Shifting, I tried to inch back from his grip and the heat his touch sent flaring through my skin. He only tightened his gripped and pulled until I stumbled into his chest, my breasts brushing against his button-up, the friction making my nipples harden. He grinned at me with an arrogant glance down at my offending breasts.
“You expect me to believe you don’t want that to be me?” Huffing at him, I gave a tug back until his arms released me. My back collided into a wall, but I knew there’d been no wall there. I was standing in the middle of the room.
“I’m so sorry,” I apologized, expecting to find an unfamiliar face as I smiled shyly.
Ronan’s grey eyes stared down at me, fierce and focused. I realized that was the first time I’d seen them without any sort of eyewear as they shifted in intensity and darted all over my face, a smile lighting them up despite the fact that his lips were as harsh as ever. “Woman,” he growled by way of greeting.
“I have a name, you know.” I sounded meek - what had happened to bold? - and hated it. Zeevar, his eyes had thrown me off.
He grunted at me, turning away with a bad-tempered shrug as Alec moved back in.
“That red suits your skin,” he whispered, trailing his thumb over my lips lightly. “I look forward to discovering if it suits mine when I’m wearing it later.” The sharp intake of breath was audible, and he bit his teeth into that plump bottom lip of his as he stepped back into the crowd without taking his eyes off me.
“Zeevar, he’s so arrogant it’s almost sexy,” Lottie’s voice whispered directly into my ear, drawing a gasp from me.
“That he is,” I agreed.
“He should be. You’re totally going to end up in bed with him tonight.”
I laughed, knowing that if things moved along the lines they seemed to be moving in, she was probably right. Something about Alec Gaius made me think sex could be enjoyable for once.
“If I do, it’s just sex,” I said instead of admitting it was likely.
She handed me a red cup, and I drank down the smooth liquor in a sudden gulp. “Obviously. You okay with that?”
“I think I’m going to find out.” And even that small admission had my stomach churning. The tension was making me hot.
Lottie giggled and my eyes drifted over to what she was watching - Emerson, leaned against the wall with a bigger man caging him in with his arms. Emerson’s smile was infectious and flirtatious as he trailed his fingertip up the man’s forearm and cocked his adorable face to the side in invitation.
Something about the scene struck me, and I knew Lottie was watching my reaction, but I couldn’t seem to pull my eyes away. Emerson was smaller and he was caged in - trapped to a certain extent. In his situation, I’d have been timid and cautious, but Emerson was bold, and even though he was being dominated in a way, he wielded a power of his own by embracing who he was. Feeling eyes on me, I turned my eyes to meet Ronan’s again - feeling the way he watched me all the way to my toes.
When Lottie noticed, she dragged me off to dance, apparently willing to entertain the thought of my casual sex with Alec Gaius, but not any form of interest in Ronan. For once, I lost myself in the movement, even knowing I was probably as awkward as could be - bolstered on as I was by the fermented Snakeberry liquor I’d been given to drink. Lottie didn’t let me feel like the clumsy mess I’d always been.
Something wet splashed onto my chest, dripping down the inside of Lottie’s dress and meeting my naked flesh. Gasping, I fought the shiver the cold liquid gave me, turning disbelieving eyes to the slutty goddess.
“Fuck’s sakes, Pia, do you have to be such a hateful bitch?” Lottie shrieked, moving to step between us.
“She should know her place here.” The fake-looking blond gave me a dark glare accompanied by a grin. “He’s mine.”
I wiped the extra moisture from my co
llarbone. “You can have him,” I hissed, turning to walk away only to find my way blocked by Vali.
“The fuck, Pia?” He snarled over my shoulder. His warm brown eyes softened as they turned to me, even as his jaw clenched in irritation. Miss pouty lips stalked angrily off when Vali held up a hand. The back of his knuckles trailed over the scar on my cheek, a whisper of a touch that felt almost reverent. My eyes closed and a sigh escaped.
“Little Bird,” he whispered. His hand retracted, and he stripped off his black zip up hoodie. “Here,” he said, holding it out.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“Not necessary, Madden. Thanks,” Ronan growled from behind me. I glanced back at him, and he stripped off his black tee, revealing a defined chest and chiseled abs.
“Ronan, that’s not-” I started to interject with a shake of my head, cutting off when Ronan turned my body and forced the shirt over my head. Giving in, I slid my arms through the holes and stared down at how massive the shirt was on me - it covered the entire dress.
“Alec’s looking for you. Let’s go,” he snarled, his hand closing over mine in a vice-like grip and dragging me away from Vali. I looked back and saw he and Lottie watching our departure - one with shocked awe and the other with barely restrained frustration.
“What the Hell, Ronan?” I wrenched my arm away, but it was too late. We’d already found Alec Gaius and he was glaring at Vali, who returned the poisonous look with passion. “Is there something wrong-”
“Stay away from him, Kaia Wren. He’s using you to get to me.” Alec’s eyes turned to me, pulling me into his chest pointedly and protectively.
“I’ll get you all wet.” I pushed away, but his fingers bunched in Ronan’s shirt. “Is it so hard to believe that someone might actually be interested in me, Alec Gaius? I’ll have you know-”
“Oh do shut up,” he hushed me. His free hand slid into the curtain of my hair, cupping the back of my head and tilting it so he could press his lips to mine firmly.
I wanted to fight. I didn’t appreciate being told to shut up by the arrogant turd. But as luck would have it, his lips felt incredible against mine, and when he opened his to tease mine with his tongue, I melted. He took more control, and I gave it, letting him plunder my mouth until he’d had his fill and pulled away to look down at me in thought.
Seeming to reach his conclusion, he nodded. “Stay away from him.” He jerked his chin at Ronan before striding away and leaving me flabbergasted.
Rowan scowled at me and my lip quivered despite my determination to only glare at him. “You’re just a lamb in a den of wolves, woman.”
“Why do you hate me so much? What did I do to you besides just existing?” I whimpered, but I sniffled back my tears. No way I’d cry in front of him.
“I wouldn’t have given you my shirt if I hated you.” I stared at him, not comprehending.
“Then, could you be a little nicer?”
“No,” he grunted simply, and having had enough for the night, I stalked out and made my way to my room.
It was official. No more parties for me.
✽✽✽
“Zeevar have mercy, Kaia Wren Shaw, don’t be so loud.” Lottie groaned from the general direction of her bed, but I hadn’t been too sure she’d been really there after having woken up to the sight of an indistinguishable lump under the thick blankets.
“Lottie, how are you still asleep?”
Her head poked out and it was hilarious to note that half her face still had makeup smeared on it. “Well, I’m not anymore, am I? Seeing as you woke me up.”
“What? I didn’t do anything.” I protested at the accusation seeing as I’d just been getting ready for class. As it was a Control class, I wasn’t looking forward to it. I’d wondered why there’d been a class scheduled the day after such a major event like the Tumult but looking at a severely hungover Lottie, I understood. The Docents were punishing the students in their own underhanded way.
“Tell that to the hammers pounding at my head. What in Zeevarna are you doing up anyway?” She pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes.
“We have class in about an hour, Lottie.” I bit back a chuckle when I saw her wince at my words.
“Zeevar, the God hates us. Why did I drink so much last night and how, in Zeevar’s name, are you standing there looking no worse for wear?” She squinted at me.
“I only drank the one drink you gave me and wore the one that pouty bitch poured on me.”
“Ah.” She rubbed at her temples and squeezed her eyes shut. “Can’t think straight. Can you ransack my potions and get a brown bottle with a black stopper this big,” she said as she held two fingers out at me to demonstrate.
“Mkay.” I rummaged in her stuff and shuddered at the mess she lived with.
“So, where’d you go last night after Ronan’s impromptu striptease?” I laughed at the description and remembered the way Ronan had looked with his chiseled abs on display. I’d actually fallen asleep wearing his shirt and it had been a strange comfort to do so even though I was annoyed at him.
I found the bottle and held it up triumphantly before stalking over to her and handing it over. “Oh, I wasn’t in the party mood, sorry.”
She downed a quarter of the liquid in one gulp and threw the bottle onto her bed. She opened one eye and looked at me blearily. “Pia ‘the slut’ Ramos chase you off?”
I laughed. “No, not her but, and while I certainly don’t disagree, are you going to keep referring to her like that?”
Lottie ran her fingers through her hair as she sat up. I noted the potion was likely already working as her eyes were clearing. “Well, she is, and it’s not about the fact that she’s sleeping with several people at the same time. I’m not one to judge a person about that when it’s a common enough practice for adult Order members, but it’s how she treats it, you know? She uses sex or the withholding of it as a tool, punishment or incentive. I just have no respect for that sort of behavior.” She huffed out a breath, making the hair in front of her flutter. “Speaking of sex...” She turned those big baby blues on me, and I turned away.
“Let’s not,” I murmured.
“Ohhh… So you didn’t get lucky last night, I presume?”
I crossed my arms over my chest but didn’t answer her. She just grinned at me cheekily.
“I’d assumed, since you’d disappeared so early and all, that you and Alec Gaius and/or, I shudder to think, Ronan had found a private place and you know… fucked.”
“Shut up, Charlotte.” I growled it out as I watched her shrugging into her uniform.
She held up her hands in a gesture of surrender but her eyes still laughed at me. “Ok, changing the subject. Vali Madden. Fascinating.”
I groaned. Trust her to find something else. “It was.”
She stopped in the act of brushing out her hair and stared at me. “Don’t make me hurt you, Kaia Wren. What’s the story?”
“It’s nothing scandalous. Vali and I were childhood friends until he was reborn on his young death date, and I moved on to adulthood instead.”
Lottie walked over and grasped my hands. “Oh. That must burn the slut’s ass.”
“He was actually my first love.”
She sighed and put a hand to her chest. “Adorable. I wasn’t fortunate enough to have one of those but having to go so young was the hardest thing ever. I didn’t like knowing I was leaving my family behind. Least of all my baby sister. She’d be about fifteen now, and I know I should be loyal to the Order and Zeevar knows I am, but I miss her something fierce.”
“I’d always wanted siblings. That’s why I was drawn to Vali so much - it started out as wanting a brother, and then he just became more than that.”
“Oh! You have to steal him from the slut.” Lottie positively beamed at me, and I shook my head at her. “Zeevar, Lottie. I’m not going to be that type of person.”
“Fine, fine. I wish you were but fine.” She dragged me along and out of the room in the ec
hoes of delighted laughter.
✽✽✽
“Breathe!” Docent Porter hissed in my ear as Ink Docent Briggs put us through our paces after the two-hour long lecture that, judging by the varying degrees of boredom from the older students, was not a new one.
The theory about control and meditation and respect had been more informative than the first class, certainly illuminating, but I was out of my depth with how I was going to control the light that pulsed in me, when I wasn’t even sure I had one in the first place.
Docent Porter kneeled beside me and spoke in that low deep voice of his that calmed me even during long, hard and unforgiving training nights with him and Alec Gaius. “Come on, Miss Shaw, I know you can do it. You’ve shown considerable improvement already, and we believe in you. You just have to believe you have it.”
“I can’t, I’m sorry. There’s nothing in me.” I sat back onto my feet and buried my face in my hands. “Please, I just need some time to think.”
I felt Docent Porter’s hand hover over my shoulder before he gave it a squeeze and walked off.
“Okay, take a break.” The words came from our instructor. She was an impressive lady, an Ink Mage who spoke with a deep and melodious voice that suited the class she taught so perfectly.
“Kaia, are you all right, honey?” Lottie’s voice spoke up from beside me as I felt her hand run up and down my back. While we were divided by year and department, we could mingle during our 30-minute breaks. I was just glad Rooks and Disciples were separated so Alec Gaius and the others couldn’t scold me for my struggles.
“She’s probably just feeling like shit because she got thrown away and rejected like a used-up condom last night.” The voice came from the owner of the feet that stopped right before my knees. I looked up and found a tall girl with short brown hair smirking down at me.