by Kenna Bardot
“Little Bird.” Given my deprived state, his velvety voice caressed my skin even more than usual. Whatever it was that made his voice so effective at seduction, they needed to bottle that shit. Sure, the Order didn’t really need money but one can’t be too entrepreneurial.
“Vali.” I returned, giving a small nod as I passed. His hand latched onto my arm lightly, just enough to stop my progress.
“May I have a minute?” I looked at Lottie to find her staring at me, a little smirk playing on her lips. I gave her a nod, and that expression turned into a full blown grin as she shook her head, walking down the hall as if I was a walking disaster. Well, to be frank, most of the time I was.
“Hi.” I stood a few feet from him. I knew I needed to keep my distance, no matter how unhappy I was with Alec Gaius and Ronan for keeping me sexually deprived for the last week. They’d been very clear on the lines of our relationship, and I wasn’t about to cross them. Especially not after Alec Gaius told me he loved me. Showed me he loved me.
“Hi.” He smiled, pushing off the wall to close the distance. The step back I took didn’t go unnoticed, and he frowned at me with a clenched jaw. “I ended things with Pia, not that there was really anything to end, but I made it clear I wouldn’t sleep with her again.”
“Good. She was rotten, and you deserve better. I’m sure it won’t take long before someone catches your eye.”
He glared, an eyebrow raising to show what he thought of my evasiveness. He spoke through gritted teeth, “You know who I want.”
“I’m not available.” He smirked at that, reaching forward and grasping my hips to pull me into him.
“I think we can do something to change that,” he murmured into my ear. He nuzzled his face into my neck, pressing a kiss there and smelling my hair. My body wilted just a little.
Ok, I was in denial.
It wilted a lot.
“Stop. You have to stop, Vali.”
“You want me just as much as I want you, Kaia,” his voice was accusatory. I couldn’t blame him, really, when I gave him contradictory signs.
“It doesn’t matter. Even if I do, I’m with Alec Gaius and Ronan.”
“And how long until they get bored? You know our connection is deeper than that. I’ll never get bored of you, Little Bird.” A week ago, those words might have been enough to tempt me away from my two men. The promise of a long-term commitment in the face of something very temporary breaking my heart? Easy choice.
But now?
Now Alec Gaius had risked his life to save me.
Because he loved me.
“Alec Gaius loves me,” I retorted to Vali, watching his eyes widen at my harsh tone as he pulled back from me a bit.
He shook his head. “You just think he does. Do you know how many people have fallen for that? Thinking they were special to him?”
I laughed, but it was a dark haunted sound. I loved Alec Gaius and Ronan; truly I did. But I also loved Vali, and there was no reality that I could have all of them. I felt my insides shatter and resettle - whether better or worse, I didn’t really know. “He told me he loves me, Vali.”
“Men lie, all the time, Kaia. You can’t trust-”
“I was dying during the Trial. I’d be dead, in any World where I didn’t have Alec Gaius to feed me the air I needed to survive. He saved my life, and he nearly died doing it.” Vali’s face went blank, a mask overtaking it as he stared at me in horror.
“You didn’t-”
“No. I was suffocating. He was watching me die, so he did whatever he had to do to keep me alive, because he would have rather died than let me die.”
His hand cupped my cheek and he pressed his forehead against mine, shuddering out a breath. “You almost died,” he whispered.
“Yes.”
“My rival saved your life.”
“Yes.”
“Because he loves you.”
“Yes, Vali. And I love them both too.”
He went still against me. “I can’t join your group. I don’t want to share you with them.”
He was saying nothing I didn’t already know but hearing him say it was like the final nail in the coffin. But my heart could no longer break for him - the part he owned had already shattered.
“I know.” I nodded. “I wouldn’t ask you to.”
“But you’ll choose them? Over me?” The words were so soft I barely heard them, the vulnerability broke my heart. My tears didn’t stall long enough to pool in my eyes, streaming down my face as I cried, hard.
“I don’t want to, but the three of you aren’t giving me a choice but to choose.” A group of students from a class further down the hall made their way past us, and I tugged back to release myself from his hold.
“I don’t think I can let you go,” he said, and matching his words, his hands didn’t release my face.
“I suggest you do, Madden,” Ronan growled from somewhere possibly down the hall. I still couldn’t see him, but I knew his voice well enough to know exactly how far away he was, and exactly how fast he could close that distance.
“Ronan, it’s okay.” I tugged again, to no avail. Vali’s eyes weren’t on me. He was too busy glaring over my back at Ronan.
“Take. Your. Hands. Off. My. Woman.” I’d heard Ronan’s voice lots of ways, but never before had it seemed downright menacing. Almost inhuman.
“She isn’t your property, Daniels,” Vali snarled.
“Stop it. Both of you,” I interjected, caught off guard when Vali’s grip suddenly released me, and I stumbled back into another student who had stopped to watch the show. He set me right, taking his hands off me immediately and stepping away as Vali and Ronan turned their glares on him. They were seriously glaring at the guy because he touched me when he kept me from falling on my ass.
Ronan turned back to Vali, getting in his space and shoving his muscular bulk into the wall. He put his forearm against Vali’s throat. “Do not touch her again,” he warned.
“Would you like me to pinky swear it?” Vali mocked as though Ronan didn’t have his arm against a very sensitive spot. “It wouldn’t matter. That’s not a promise I will ever keep. She was mine long before she was yours, Daniels.”
Ronan snarled, stepping back far enough to cock his arm and punch Vali in the face. Blood sprayed out from his nose, and I heard myself shriek even though I didn’t remember making the sound. “Ronan Asher!”
Vali retaliated, clipping Ronan in the side of the head. I winced, Ronan was quite strong and taller, but Vali had so much muscle packed onto his body. I knew that hit must have hurt even if Ronan refused to let the pain show.
“Stop!”
Nobody listened to me. It was like I disappeared as soon as they initiated the fight, regardless of the fact that I’d been the start of it.
✽✽✽
Emerson
Kaia’s scream erupted through the room, and I sprang from my seat and was out the door faster than I’d have considered possible. “Kaia? What in Zeevar is going on?” I asked, charging around the hall to see her standing with her hands in that lush brown hair.
“Thank Zeevar. Emerson! You have to help me. They just won’t stop,” she begged, taking my hand and dragging me to where Ronan and Vali were still exchanging blows.
“Maybe we should just let them work it out?” I shrugged, casting an incredulous look her way. I couldn’t believe she wanted me to get involved in that.
“Are you insane?! Look at them!” Vali’s nose dripped blood and he sported a split lip. Ronan’s temple had turned an angry red and his brow had a gash in it. I sighed, stepping forward and into the fray.
Only for her.
Planting a hand on each man’s chest, I shoved to try and separate them but barely managed to move them both.
With an annoyed look over my shoulder, I finessed my way between the two.
“Ronan, come on man,” I said with placating hands as I moved. “You’re upsetting Kaia. We both know you don’t want to do that, yeah?”
Unfortunately, Ronan wasn’t fast enough to pull the punch he’d meant for Vali, and caught me in the eye.
Pain exploded through my skull, and for a moment I had to wonder if he’d crushed it from the instantaneous nature of the throbbing in my head.
“Zeevar!” Kaia yelled, getting in the middle to grab me and pull me from between them. “I’m sorry,” she said, touching fingertips to the eye we both knew would swell quickly.
“Emerson-” Ronan’s voice was full of regret, and I turned to find the two had stopped fighting and were instead staring at us sheepishly.
“Maybe you two should be together. Zeevar knows you deserve each other,” Kaia hissed, stomping off and dragging me along.
She took me to the kitchens, surprising me when she requested some ice from the Earth on duty there. I knew they regarded us weirdly, but they complied cheerfully anyway. As soon as she had it, she sat on one of the tables and maneuvered me to a chair in front of her. She pressed the makeshift ice pack to my face, and I hissed at the pressure it left on my swelling eye.
“It will help,” she cooed, holding my hand in hers.
I couldn’t help but chuckle at her. “Ice is well and good but a healer might help more.”
Her shoulders slumped, and she paused for a moment. Her body shook, and I worried she was crying.
Gods, I didn’t know what to do with a crying woman.
Suddenly, her laughter sounded out, and I realized she wasn’t crying but laughing hysterically. “I can’t believe I didn’t take you to the Infirmary,” she finally murmured when she had her hysterics under control.
“It’s all good. I bet this makes me look bad ass. I’ll probably have guys climbing all over themselves to get into my pants now.”
She eyed me in disbelief. “As if you didn’t have that already.”
I laughed, wincing when the ice pack shook on my eye.
“No one meaningful,” I said, serious for once. Those big brown eyes of hers caught mine, and I saw the moment my meaning must have hit their target.
“Ronan and Vali were fighting over me,” she blurted out suddenly, and though I shook my head to keep up with her change of pace, I followed as best I could.
“I had a feeling,” I admitted carefully. “It seems the type of thing those two hotheads would do.”
“They don’t understand what Vali and I have. It isn’t easy to walk away from a history like ours, and I don’t want to, but I would never cross the line with him knowing that they wouldn’t want that.”
“I know you wouldn’t, sweetheart,” my voice softened to a whisper.
She shifted on the table. “I probably shouldn’t push my luck by crossing that line with you either though. At least not without discussing it with them.”
My eyes widened. “You want to cross that line with me?”
To my surprise, she nodded slowly. “Something about you, you’re different from the two of them. You make me laugh, and make me feel like an equal. Like it’s okay for me to be who I am, and I don’t need to change. I’ll talk to the guys,” she said as she pushed the hair back from my brow.
“I think that would be wise,” I laughed. With the moment broken, I hopped up from my chair and helped her down from the table.
“Ronan’s probably losing his mind looking for you, Precious Kai. Let’s get this over with.”
She sighed wordlessly. And really, what words were there to say in the face of what was sure to be a confrontation with Ronan.
✽✽✽
Kaia
“Where have you been?” Ronan’s voice exploded as soon as I opened the door to their room. I hadn’t wanted to go there at all, but Emerson insisted.
I hated that he was right, but I did need to grab some of my things regardless. I’d been spending most nights with them so a big chunk of my belongings had found their way out of my room. “You do not get to make demands of me right now.” I kept my face blank as I walked into the room, and at my request Emerson lingered in the doorway.
“Emers, fuck off,” Ronan demanded, and I glared at him.
“I’m not staying. I asked Emerson to wait to walk me to my room since I’ve been told that I can’t be anywhere alone.” I went to the drawer where I stashed my clothes, stuffing them into my bag, which I’d thrown into a corner of the room.
“Like fuck you aren’t staying,” Ronan growled, tossing the cloth Alec had no doubt made him put to his face to stem the blood from the gash in his brow.
“Ronan, perhaps you should give Kaia Wren some space right now,” Emerson suggested.
“Yes, Ronan. Perhaps you should,” I spoke through gritted teeth, nabbing my books off his nightstand.
“He had his hands on you! Was I supposed to just let that go?” Ronan stood, towering over me.
“You were supposed to trust me! I had it under control. I was explaining to him what both of you mean to me!” I yelled in his face.
He clenched his jaw at me, the cruel sneer I hadn’t missed making a reappearance. “Like you trusted Alec Gaius?”
“I’m sorry, did I miss the moment where I punched Wella Smith? I must have been so blinded by my rage that I can’t remember that happening.”
“Kaia Wren, Vali had no right to touch you,” Alec Gaius put in unhelpfully and I rounded on him.
“Oh and I suppose you agree with Ronan punching him in the face?”
He grimaced and shrugged. “Well, I don’t think it was too bad since Madden’s nose didn’t appear to be broken.”
I shrieked and only barely stopped myself from throwing my books at him. “Zeevar, you’re missing the point. Both of you. You do not need to go to such extremes over me.”
“Kai, I think we should just go,” Emers said from the doorway giving me an uneasy glance.
I hissed at Ronan, but I pointed at Alec Gaius to stop him from talking, “If you have an issue with another man’s hands on me, then you take it up with me. You do not attack him.” I jabbed a finger into his chest, wincing at the pain from it.
Stupid, hard, sexy muscles.
He smirked at me, like he could read my mind, which infuriated me. “Did Madden get the same talking to?” he asked, grasping my wrist and staring down at me.
“No. I haven’t seen him, but he will eventually.”
“Does it count for anything that he provoked me?” Ronan grinned.
“How? By saying I was his first? I hate to break it to you, Ronan, but I was. He was my first love, and you and Alec need to accept that and move on. Was. Past tense, not a negative.”
Ronan dragged a hand through his short blond hair. “That’s not so easy when it’s right in my face,” he growled.
“And if you’d let me explain, you’d have known I was attempting to make sure that it wouldn’t happen again. But you didn’t give me that chance.” For once Ronan looked a bit sheepish, as I snatched my bag up and slung it over a shoulder. When I looked over at Alec Gaius, he looked abashed as well. I could not drum up any sympathy.
“Kaia, please. Just stay.”
“Yes, Kaia Wren, stay,” Alec interjected, his voice softer than I’d ever heard before.
“No. I don’t even want to look at either of you right now.” I turned my back on them and proved that fact.
I shouldered past them both, but they did let me pass. Emerson and I left, walking briskly down the hall in silence. When we got to my room, I thanked him and gave his cheek a quick kiss before rushing to my bed and flopping onto it dramatically with a sigh.
Lottie chuckled. “I think I just saw a cloud of dust puff up around you, darlin’.”
I barely turned my head to glare at her over my shoulder, bunching my pillow up beneath my head. I settled into the comfort of a cool, empty bed, deciding right then and there that I was never leaving it again.
“Well, I spend most nights alone now, don’t I?” That was Lot, never one for letting me brood in silence. “It’s just like when Ramos and I were separated.”
“Not all nights.” I
smirked at her and she only stared back at me stoically. “That reminds me. You and the slut were roommates. What happened there?”
“Yes. That ended fast - we never got along and, besides, she brought ten million men into the room without saying anything or asking. Now, don’t change the subject.”
“I’m sure you brought your own men, Lot.” Groaning, I turned to sit up and stare broodily at her. There was no embarrassment whatsoever on her face at my reference to catching her in bed with Otto. “Gah, how do you do that?”
She shrugged as she moved to my bed and sat down. “It’s really very easy. I own my sexuality. Nobody can make me feel embarrassed about it unless I let them. That’s not to say I won’t have the common decency to let my roommate know I’d be having extra-curricular activities in our room. But not because I was embarrassed or anything but, again, common decency. Besides, if I was ashamed of somebody, I wouldn’t fuck them anyway.”
“I’m not embarrassed of Alec Gaius or Ronan.” I toyed with the stitching on my pillowcase, fidgeting idly in discomfort.
“Well, I knew that. That wasn’t what I was saying.” She stood, grabbing tweezers from her vanity and coming to me - no doubt for the torture that was eyebrow maintenance. She ignored my groan, taking my face in one hand and getting down to work with focused eyes.
“However, you didn’t give yourself any time to adjust to the way things are here. You only went to the one party, and with all the studying and training you do and with your guys keeping you too busy to go to any of the others, you haven’t had much chance to see how normal it is for men to share a woman. Most couplings are more casual, so they’re less in your face about it as opposed to the way Ronan is with you.”
I winced. “It’s really normal? I haven’t really seen anyone in groups like mine.”
“Like I said, most are more casual. I doubt you pay enough attention to notice that most girls are with a new guy every day.” Her voice was teasing, but there was a note of seriousness to her expression. “You don’t have time to notice, especially not since the Trial.”