by Blair Grey
“This isn’t over,” Blaze said when he got on the back of his bike. “I’m not going to be beat.”
“Just mind your own business and let us take care of ours,” I said. “This hasn’t got anything to do with you, and like I said, we’ve got it handled.”
I now folded my arms over my chest and stood as tall as I could. It felt good to see him running away, his tail tucked between his legs, but I was still shaking from the experience. I was glad my PTSD didn’t come out, and I wanted to kick the guy out of town for good.
But, I had my boys on my side, and Jenna, too. Blaze didn’t have the power to tell us what we could and couldn’t do, and I had to remind myself of that. I told Jenna that I wanted to be in our daughter’s life, and I was going to make that happen, even if I had to deal with assholes.
“Thanks, guys,” I said to Adam and Spencer as the three of us turned to head back into the diner. I was glad Zach had stayed inside. There was little doubt in my mind that it would have come to blows if he came out.
But now, we could brush off the entire thing, and I could go back to focusing on Jenna and working things out with her. With shaking hands, I pulled out my phone.
We need to talk, seriously.
I hit send and waited. The only way we were going to get through this was if we communicated with each other, and I wanted to do it as soon as possible. But, my heart sank slightly when she texted me back. I didn’t get the answer I expected, and I tried not to let it bother me too much, but the fact of the matter was that it did.
We’ll talk with our lawyers. I’m going to be busy until then.
14
Jenna
I cringed when there was a knock at my door. I had been avoiding everyone since Blaze had gone off on me and Nathan, and I really didn’t want to talk to anyone. But, when I looked through the peephole of my apartment and saw Marcus himself standing outside, I knew there wasn’t any way that I could ignore it.
I took a deep breath and pulled open the door, forcing a smile. “Hey, please, come in!”
“I heard that was a bit of a scuffle in Santa Rosa the other day,” he said as he walked through the door.
“I wasn’t there, but that’s what I heard, too,” I admitted. “My brother isn’t happy with what’s going on right now, and I’m not sure what to do about it.”
“What is going on?” Marcus asked. “Something to do with your kid, from what I hear?”
I nodded, nervous to tell him the truth. But, he seemed to already know enough there wasn’t much for me to fill in. “Nathan Springer is her father.”
“How the hell did that happen?” he asked. “He’s only been back for a few months.”
“It was a one-night stand a few years ago. We randomly met at a party, and, well, things got heated between us. I found out I was pregnant and never told him the truth, but then we met again and he knows everything,” I blurted out the story, twisting my t-shirt in my hand as I did.
“And, he wants to share custody?” Marcus asked. I nodded.
“I’m okay with that. We’re working together to make it happen, but I need Blaze to get under control. I’m worried if he keeps running out there and acting like an idiot, the lawyers are going to side with Nathan and I’ll lose my daughter completely,” I said.
“I’ll talk to him,” Marcus replied. “But we need to be careful with everything that’s going on right now. We have a truce, Jenna, not a treaty. It could go south fast.”
“I don’t want that to happen any more than anyone else,” I assured him. “I just want to get along and make the best life possible for my daughter.”
He nodded. “That’s good. It’s not going to be easy, but it’s doable if you are willing to compromise.”
“I will,” I said. “I really will.”
Marcus didn’t stay much longer. I had to get Allegra to her babysitter so I could get to work, then we were meeting with the lawyers later that afternoon. I was going to have to get off early to make the meeting in time, and I knew I’d have to pick up Allegra from the sitter right when I got off.
She wasn’t going to her normal sitter that morning, since the girl called in sick. But, Khloe told me she’d be willing to take her for me for the greater part of my shift. I could always rely on her to come through for me.
After Marcus was gone, I took a deep breath and finished getting Allegra dressed for her day. She was happy to go to the sitter, but I really didn’t want her to leave. I was worried about how this was all going to play out, and with my brother being crazy, I had a feeling things could get worse fast.
But, there wasn’t anything I could do about it. I had to work to support both of us. Even if Nathan told me he was willing to give me money for our daughter, he didn’t have it coming in right now, and I had to still make ends meet myself. As difficult as it was, I had no choice.
I walked Allegra down to the car and put on a brave face when we got to the sitter’s. I didn’t want this strange woman to know what was going on in my life, and I was glad when dropping off Allegra was short and sweet.
“I’m going to get off around two-thirty so I can get her by three. Thank you so much for coming through for me on such short notice,” I said with a forced smile.
“Of course, we’ll be here when you get off. Don’t you worry about a thing,” the woman replied. She took Allegra by the hand and led her into the house, leaving me to head back to my car and go to work. I shook my head with a frustrated smile over what she had said.
She had no idea what I was going through, and I was going to keep it that way. But, boy… If only she knew how wrong she was. I had a billion things to worry about, and they had everything to do with my daughter.
And, I could only pray to God that would change soon.
I held Allegra on my hip as we made our way up to the door of the lawyer’s office. I was now relieved that we had made the first meeting local. I didn’t want to drive two hours with the stress that was weighing down on me, and I was glad Nathan was willing to come, despite what my brother had done.
“Hey,” he said when I met him in the parking lot. “Glad you made it.”
“I’m glad to see you made it, too,” I said. He must have seen how tired I was. He held out his arm with a kind smile.
“Do you think she’d be willing to come see me?” he asked. “Or I could hold her hand on our way in.”
“She might,” I said as I leaned forward to hand her off. Briefly, my arm brushed against his, and I tried not to think about the rush that ran through my entire body. I had been so stressed after my brother freaked out I hadn’t let myself think about Nathan in that way.
But, his touch was enough to drive me crazy, and almost immediately, I thought about what it might be like to have him in bed again.
Allegra went to him willingly, though she turned to keep an eye on where I was on our way inside the office. Both lawyers were already ready and waiting, the paperwork on the desk and laid out for us.
“Oh, we’ve got a few toys in the corner of the room if she wants to play,” Mr. Shawshank said happily. I was glad. I’d noticed it the other day when I spoke with him, and Allegra was more than happy to sit and play with the toys while we went over the paperwork.
“Okay, so let’s get down to business,” Miss Ferguson said. “You have both expressed interest in working together to make this run smoothly, is that still on the table?”
“Yes,” Nathan and I spoke at the same time.
“Great! Then that is going to make things run a lot faster,” she said. “Now, I encouraged Nathan to get a job, how is that coming along?”
“I’m working on it,” he said. “I’ve got a few extra roadblocks to work around, but I’m confident that it’s going to come together soon.”
He indicated to his arm as he spoke, and I felt the same wave of guilt that had washed over me the first time we talked about his arm. But, he was clearly feeling better about it, and I didn’t want to spend too much time on the subject. But, my lawyer wasn
’t as thrilled.
“I’d like to see that he’s got a job before we move forward with any real serious decisions. For the good of the child,” he said.
“I do have a source of income,” Nathan replied. “I get disability payments from the military.”
“I see, and is that sufficient to raise a child?” Mr. Shawshank asked.
“It would be, though I admit it would be tight. That’s why I’m in the process of looking for another job right now,” Nathan said quickly. “I want to make this as comfortable for Allegra – and Jenna – as possible.”
“With that being said, are we going to work out child support?” Mr. Shawshank asked.
“I’d like to,” Nathan said before I was able to answer. “I want to be there for my daughter as much as possible, and I’m not going to shy away from the financial aspect of it.”
“How hard is that to set up?” I asked. “I never asked for it.”
“You don’t have to ask if he’s going to offer,” Miss Ferguson said. “It doesn’t take long, it’s just a matter of working out how much we’re going to pay each month, when you’re going to get the payment, and what course of action we’re going to take if the payments aren’t being made.”
I felt a knot in my stomach. That didn’t sound like anything I wanted to get in to – but I knew I had to do what was best for Allegra, and if he was going to work with the lawyers to make it happen, then I wasn’t going to fight him on it. Neither of us wanted to fight with each other on anything, and I had a feeling he was going to set up the payments whether I wanted the money or not.
“It’s really Allegra’s money, after all,” Nathan said as he turned to me. “She needs it.”
“I appreciate it,” I said with a nod. I was too tired to argue.
“So can we set up a start date for visitation?” Nathan asked eagerly as he turned back to the lawyers.
“That’s up to the mother. I’m going to advise that you get a job as soon as possible, but if she feels that your residence is safe and you are able to care for the child, then we can put something in place today for you to see her,” Mr. Shawshank said.
“How do you feel?” he turned to me, and I sighed. I could feel Nathan looking at me, too, and Miss Ferguson. I didn’t want to be such the center of attention, and I felt put on the spot. But, I also felt that Nathan would take care of Allegra with everything he had in him, and she would be safe if she went to his house.
“I think it’s safe,” I said at last.
“Don’t feel pressured into this,” Mr. Shawshank said. “If you want an inspection done before you sign the papers, we can arrange for that to happen.”
“Would you be willing for that?” Miss Ferguson turned to Nathan, who quickly nodded.
“Yes, definitely,” he said. “Anything to make you feel the place is safe for Allegra.”
“No,” I shook my head. “That’s not necessary, really. I trust that it’s safe. It’s just going to be an adjustment.”
“Hopefully a good one,” Nathan said with a smile. He put his hand on my shoulder, and once more, I felt the rush through my body. It was electrifying, so much like the night we hooked up for the first time. I smiled at him despite the fact I was tired, and we started working out the details for shared custody.
By the time we left, it was agreed that she would go see him two days during the week and every other weekend. It was going to be hard for me, but I knew that it was what was best for her. Not to mention, it was going to give me a couple of days out of the week to spend some time on myself – and catching up on the other things that I was falling behind on.
I carried Allegra out on my hip, thinking about what it would be like to leave her with her father. I wasn’t sad about it, but I didn’t know what I felt. Something told me that it was the right thing to do, though, and in the end, this was going to be the best decision for everyone.
After all, I was able to adjust to her coming into my life, now I was going to adjust to sharing her.
Little steps, but we were making it work.
15
Nathan
I followed Jenna out the door with a smile on my face. This was all moving so much faster than I thought, and I was happy with how smooth things were going. I was thrilled Jenna had signed the papers to let me see Allegra so much, but now that we were getting ready to part ways, I didn’t want to see her go.
“That was easier than I thought it would be,” she said when we stopped in front of my bike. “They kept saying that it was going to take so long to work out, but we basically just did.”
“I think they can see that we are doing it for the good of Allegra. If we were fighting over the details and everything, it would probably take a lot longer,” I replied. “I’m sure they’ve seen it all.”
“I’m sure they have,” she agreed. “There’s still a few things that I want to talk to you about, do you want to come over for dinner?”
“Right now?” I asked in surprise, and she nodded.
“Unless you’ve got something else you’ve got to do,” she said. “If now’s not a good time, then I can wait.”
“No, now would be great,” I said with a grin. “Do you want me to just follow you to your place?”
“Sure,” she said. “I don’t have to work tomorrow, so if you want to stay for a bit, you’re welcome.”
“I’ll try not to take up too much of your time,” I said. She nodded and put Allegra in the car, and then she climbed into the driver’s seat. I got on top of my bike and pulled out of the parking lot behind her, eager to see where my daughter had been raised for the first two years of her life.
We pulled up in front of an apartment complex. It was small, but it was clean. There was a playground and a picnic table out front, a couple of kids playing in the sandbox as we walked toward the door. Jenna smiled and waved at them on our way by, but we didn’t stay to talk.
“It’s not much, but I think you’ll find it suitable,” Jenna said when we arrived.
“Clearly, since you’ve been doing this on your own for the past couple years,” I said as she unlocked the door. I was nervous to be there, that was for sure. I knew we had a truce going with The Enemies MC, but I didn’t know what would happen if we ran into Blaze again.
I knew he certainly didn’t want to see me, and I wasn’t going to get in a fight in front of my daughter. I didn’t care what he said to me, I was going to hold it together when she was around, as long as he didn’t do anything to Jenna.
“I like it,” I said as I looked around. It was simple. Easily decorated, but clearly with things that she would have gotten at the thrift store. It was small, but there was enough space for her and Allegra. The place had two bedrooms and one bathroom, a small kitchen that hooked right onto the living room, and a space Jenna had turned into a dining room.
“I wanted to make it feel bigger in here, so I set it up with several more rooms than the place was intended to have,” Jenna explained. “Come on, I’ll show you Allegra’s room.”
She led me to a small bedroom right next to the bathroom. I assumed the doorway next to Allegra’s was her own bedroom, and I had to try not to be nosey when I walked by. I didn’t want her to think that I was snooping or invading her privacy, but I did want to see what her bedroom was like.
Though I admired her for what she’d gone through, I did see an innocence about her. Even now, she wasn’t very old. But then, neither was I. We were both trying to figure out how to work our way through this, and it wasn’t easy.
“It’s cute,” I said as I looked around the room. “I like what you’ve done with the place.”
“I think it turned out pretty good for what I had to work with,” Jenna said. “I didn’t have a lot in the beginning, and my brother wasn’t too keen on helping me at first. He came around the further along I got, but it did take some time, so I had to scrape together the money I had to work with.”
“It’s cute,” I said again. She had a small bed in the corne
r of the room, along with a toy box in the corner. There were toys scattered around, and a small dresser. It was perfect for a little girl’s room, that was for sure. I could see things in it that I wanted to create for her in my own space. For a brief moment, I really couldn’t wait to get down to decorating.
“So about your place,” Jenna said as she walked back toward the dining room.
“What about it?” I asked.
“I would like to see it for myself before I let Allegra come over. I know what I said to the lawyer today, but I didn’t think that a full inspection was necessary. I do want to see it myself though,” she said quietly. Once again, I could see how nervous she was. She really didn’t want to fight about any of this, but she didn’t really want to send her daughter off to a house that was two hours away without seeing it herself first.
“That would be great. Maybe you can give me some advice on what to get for her,” I said. “Like I said earlier, I do get disability from the military, and though I want to get a job as soon as possible, it does pay the bills to keep a roof over my head.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” she replied. She pulled out some pots and pans and started making spaghetti, and I was thrilled when Allegra came over to play with me. I was glad she was was outgoing for a two-year-old. It was hard trying to step into her life without knowing what it would mean for any of us.
“Is it child safe?” Jenna asked after being silent in the kitchen for a few minutes. “I mean, no offense, but you’ve been living there alone for a while, so I don’t expect it to be.”
“It’s getting that way,” I assured her. “My best friend has been pushing me to get the place ready for a kid ever since I told him that I was going to get to see her. I want her to be safe, don’t worry. And, I’ll make sure it happens.”
“How big is it?” she asked. I chuckled.
“A little bigger than this place. I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you come see it tomorrow? You said that you don’t have to work, so that would give you time for the drive without you being rushed through it,” I said.