The Demon On My Chest: Waking Up

by Dan Farris

  “Alitash, Alitash! I haven’t seen you in ages. To what do I owe this pleasure? You know I’m confined mostly to this place, this paradise! How I’ve have missed you!”

  “Hello, Curtis. It has been a long time.”

  Curtis started jumping up and down with excitement. “Too long, too long! Wait, who is this? Is this a gift for me? You know how I love gifts. But…hmm...you know the types of gifts I like. This one is missing a few parts, huh? No matter, we’ll make do. Come to the house; the king finally approved my upgrade request! Wait and see! And I have a gift for you. A fresh batch; you’ll love them. You may have forgotten my tastes, but I recall yours. And they just arrived!”

  What the da fuck is he talkin’ about?

  “You always knew how to treat a girl. But first, my new friend Rebecca needs to see the fields.”

  “Of course, of course. First, let’s stop by the house, please?”

  “Curtis, don’t make me repeat myself. Now, be a good boy and take us to the fields first.”

  “Please forgive me! I’m just so excited to see you. Rebecca, is it? Such a pretty name. You know, Alitash convinced the king to free me. I owe her everything. To the fields it is, this way.”

  “Fuck that, I am not goin’ nowhere with y’all muthafuckas, y’all can both kiss my black ass.”

  “You’re a feisty one, aren’t you? If you had some other parts, I’d do more than kiss your ass. Maybe I’ll do more anyway,” said Curtis.

  Tash and Curtis both looked at each other and nodded. “On second thought, you were right, Curtis. Let’s have some fun first,” said Tash. The two inched toward Rebecca.

  Come on, muthafuckas, come on…shit, forgot that fuckin’ bitch can stop me from movin’. Fuck! I can’t do shit then! I just gotta keep playin’ this little game. “Well, walk then, muthafucka, walk.”

  “You are such a tease, you know that,” said Tash.

  “This way,” said Curtis. Curtis and Tash walked, talking and laughing together. Rebecca begrudgingly followed.

  After walking for what felt like an hour to Rebecca, Curtis and Tash stopped. Curtis pointed. “There, have you ever seen anything more beautiful? This truly is paradise. How did I get so lucky?”

  Rebecca slowly walked in front of them and there were fields of what appeared to be giant cocoons that sprang up from the ground. As far as the eye could see, in every direction.

  “What da fuck is this?”

  “Let’s take a closer look. Wait until you see the prize inside,” said Curtis. Curtis walked to a cocoon nearby, and it opened up. Inside, there was an old man on fire. He had spikes all through his body, except his mouth.

  “God, please forgive me. Please, the pain, the pain, make it stop, make it stop. God, Jesus, please forgive me, please forgive me. Someone, help me, help me,” cried the old man.

  “I think that’s enough from him. Shall we speak to someone else?” Said Curtis. Rebecca fell to her knees and cried.

  Fuck, it’s true. I’m fucking dead. I’m dead, I’m dead, I’m dead. Fuck. I can’t believe it, and this place, this is Hell. I’ve been dead this whole time. This muthafucka the Devil, I knew it. That fat muthafucka, he a fuckin’ demon. He’s just been fuckin’ with me too…guess the game is over now. He’s about to put me in of these fuckin big balls, forever. Fuck…fuck...fuck…

  Chapter 6-Rebecca

  Rebecca sat on the ground, surrounded by giant cocoons.

  “What’s the matter? Did reality just set in?” Asked Tash.

  “Yes, it fuckin’ did. Do what you gonna do, muthafucka. I know you not really a little girl, you the Devil. I’m not gone beg or any shit like that; you gonna put me in one of these fuckin’ things, do it!”

  “She is brave. I’m starting to like this one,” said Curtis.

  “Get up and let’s go,” said Tash.

  “What, aren’t you gonna place me here with all these other people?”

  “No, the king has other plans for you.”

  “Something worse than dis shit?!”

  “I said get up.” Tash grabbed Rebecca and helped her off the ground.

  “Before you two leave, let’s visit the house, please?!” Curtis said.

  “I’ll come visit some other time. The king wanted this one home as quick as possible.”

  Curtis walked with Tash and Rebecca as they headed back toward the entrance. After Tash said goodbye to Curtis, she and Rebecca went back through the entrance.

  I’m in Hell, I’m really in Hell, thought Rebecca as the entrance closed behind them. Tash walked eastward, and Rebecca followed.

  That muthafucka killed me. David said he screened his ass. “That fat bastard back there, is he a demon?”

  Tash laughed. “Demons don’t look that.”

  “Then what do they look like? Like fuckin’ monsters!”

  “No, they look beautiful. All of them.”

  “If you’re the fuckin’ Devil, why don’t you stop playin’ with me!”

  “For the last time, I told you, I’m not the Devil.”

  “Then what the fuck do you want with me?”

  “I don’t want anything with you. I’m doing the king’s bidding.”

  “King? What fucking king?”

  “That’s not for me to explain. I’m just supposed to take you home.”

  “Why did you pretend like you was fuckin’ lost when we met then? What da fuck was that shit?”

  “Just because I do the king’s work doesn’t mean I can’t have fun doing it.”

  “Whatever…and who is dis fucking king?”

  “He’s the reason you’re not going to suffer eternal pain.”

  “The Devil? What da fuck does he want with me?”

  “Our king is not Lucifer. In fact, our king is the most powerful being in Hell, and I don’t know why he chose to save you. I’m sure you’ll find out eventually.”

  “Are you a demon?”

  Tash remained silent.

  I fucking knew it; this bitch is the Devil just fuckin’ with me! Why?

  “How long it’s gonna take for us to get wherever you’re taking me?”

  “Not too long, only a few days.”

  “A few days?!”

  “Yes, Hell is quite big, you know, much bigger than Earth. Fortunate for you, you arrived close to our king’s domain. If you had arrived somewhere else, it could have taken weeks, months, even years to get you home.” A few days before the Devil stops his game and…fuck, those fuckin’ fields or worse.

  “Why did I come to Hell? Why didn’t I go to Heaven? Don’t God give a fuck about me? I wasn’t no saint, but I ain’t neva hurt nobody. I just did what a bitch had to do.”

  “I am sure most of the souls in Hell share your sentiment, especially the unlucky ones.”

  After walking for several hours, Tash and Rebecca saw another large wall. It looked just like the last wall Rebecca had seen--incomprehensibly large.

  “That’s the entrance to our king’s domain. Are you ready?” Rebecca slowly followed as Tash headed toward the wall. Rebecca walked through the entrance, and once she was inside, the wall closed. Tash continued walking, and Rebecca followed.

  Tash and Rebecca walked for what felt like three days to Rebecca. They stopped only briefly to give Rebecca a moment to rest.

  “Why ain’t we seen nothin’ yet? Where are da fields and shit? Is this place one giant wasteland?” Where da fuck is this muthafucka takin’ me?

  “You tell me. There, ahead, your new home.”

  Rebecca walked in front of Tash there were green grasslands, flowers, trees, and a very large mansion.

  The mansion appeared to be made of brick and stone. And the grass and trees looked completely out of place.

  The mansion was a brownish color. What da fuck?! That looks just like the house I always wanted. Next to the mansion, there was a much smaller building.

  Tash entered the mansion. “Aren’t you coming in?”

  “Yeah…yeah.”

  Rebecca en
tered the mansion and it was furnished with everything she had always wanted. In the entrance to the home, a massive gold chandelier hung from the ceiling. As Rebecca walked carefully through the home, it was her dream kitchen, and all the furniture she ever wanted. The table was decked with all of Rebecca’s favorite foods and drinks.

  “How many bedrooms are in this place?”

  “Ten.”

  “Where is the master bedroom?”

  “Upstairs, last door on the right.”

  Rebecca walked upstairs and went into the master bedroom: her dream bedroom. In the closet was every piece of clothing she had ever wanted. She jumped on the bed and was surprised by how soft it was. She looked in the bathroom and thought it was also perfect, like everything else in the house.

  Wait, this muthafucka fuckin’ with me. He’s the Devil. It’s a trick. “What now?”

  “I leave you. I did what the king wanted, and now it’s time for me to return to my home.”

  “You’re leaving? What da fuck do I do then?”

  “Let’s see, you found out you died and went to Hell. I’d start with a warm bath if I were you. By the way, not that you’ll use it, but the building next door is a library. King’s orders. This haughty house and the surrounding fifty acres belong to you.” Tash walked out. Rebecca went to the window and saw her walk away.

  Rebecca went back to the bed and lay down. The Devil fuckin’ with me. He’ll come back, right when I get comfortable. He’ll be back any minute. Any fucking minute…. Rebecca slowly closed her eyes and fell asleep.

  Fuck, I ain’t neva slept that good in my life, thought Rebecca as she awoke. She had slept for what seemed like a week. Was I dreamin? Rebecca looked around her bedroom. Naw, still in fuckin Hell. Her bedroom door was shut. I don’t memba shutting da dough. There was a knock on the door. “Who da fuck is out there?! Fuckin’ Devil, this is it.

  “My name is Alfred. The king sent me. Meet me downstairs. I’ll be waiting in your living room. Nice home; you have nice taste.” Fuck, fuck, what da fuck do I do? Shit, no good runnin’. Devil gonna get me, this is it.

  Rebecca first took a shower, put on a very short shirt and blouse from her closet, then she slowly opened the door and proceeded downstairs. When she entered the living room, there was a handsome man sitting on the couch. He had an average build, white tanned skin, and a youthful look. His face was smooth, like he never shaved a day in his life. He wore a long-sleeved blue shirt and black slacks.

  “This is some house you have here.”

  Rebecca sat down in the big comfy chair located a few feet away from the couch. “Are you the fuckin’ Devil? You gonna put me in fuckin’ field and set my ass on fire? Why are you still fuckin’ with me?”

  “I am no devil. Tash was supposed to tell you. You are in the domain of our king. He sent me to help you.”

  “That little bitch.”

  “She was supposed to explain everything and answer any questions you had.”

  “She didn’t do shit but fuck with me. Fucking demon.”

  “She’s no demon. She was alive once, just like me and you. I’m sorry she toyed with you; that wasn’t meant to happen. Finding out you’re dead and in Hell is traumatic enough. Allow me to answer any questions you have.” Is this muthafucka tellin’ the truth?

  “Alfred, that’s what you say yo’ name is? How do I know you ain’t the Devil just fuckin’ with me right now?”

  “That’s a good question. Lucifer is the great deceiver, or at least, that’s his billing. But, if I were him, you would not be here, safe in your own home, in your own lands. You would be in…well, you’ve seen the fields. You are lucky the king saved you from that fate.”

  “Who is this fuckin’ king I keep hearin’ about? He must be a bad muthafucka.”

  Alfred laughed. “That’s one way to characterize him, I suppose.”

  “What’s his name, this king?”

  “Pursan.”

  “I never heard of that muthafucka. I thought the Devil run this bitch anyway.”

  “Lucifer has domains here, as does our king and three others.”

  “Well, why the fuck did he save me? Trust me, ain’t nothing special about me. I’m just a hoe.”

  “You have had a hard life. But you have a gift.”

  “The gift of sucking dick? No bitch could do it like me.”

  “When you used to sleep on earth, you could feel things, sense things.”

  “Yeah, so what?”

  “So, our king sees that as a gift. A gift from God. Our king was the first ruler in Hell to see the value in us humans.”

  “I don’t get this fucking king. So, what da fuck he want with me? To fuck me, what?”

  “No, he wants you to be happy. To be free.”

  “Free from what?”

  “Free from pain, sorrow, turmoil. This is your home for all eternity; the king will never let anyone hurt you again.”

  Ain’t nothin’ free…but at least I’m free from David’s ass, and all those other muthafuckas.

  “I still don’t understand why he gives a fuck about me. When do I meet him then?”

  “That is the one question I cannot answer. Maybe you’ll meet him tomorrow, maybe never. Some of us humans have never even seen the king.”

  “What do I have to do…. to stay safe?”

  “Nothing. You can come and go as you please. All demons and humans in the king’s domains have been commanded not to harm any of us. We have the protection of the king.”

  “Oh really? So, if I told you to get the fuck out of my house, you would go?”

  “Yes, but remember, I was sent to help you. The king sends me to all of the new ones. To help you guys get adjusted.”

  “Who da fuck is you, the king of Siam in dis muthafucka?”

  “The king trusts me.”

  I don’t trust you, muthafucka. I don’t trust nobody.

  “May I offer a suggestion? Have you looked inside the library?”

  “That place next dough? What da fuck do I care about a muthafuckin liberry. I can’t even read.”

  “Hmm, if only we had the time to learn such things, the time to learn all knowledge acquired on Earth…wait, I just remembered that we’re dead and we literally have all the time in the world. Would you be so kind as to follow me to the library?”

  “Whateva.”

  Alfred headed to the library, followed by Rebecca.

  When she entered the library, there were rows of books, and a table in the middle.

  “Where do you want to start? First, mastery of your native tongue and then…”

  “Man, fuck dis shit. Why da fuck do I have to learn anythang? School didn’t help me when I was alive, and it show ain’t gonna help me now.”

  “But what do you want to do with your eternity?”

  “You can stay here and fuckin’ read like it’s fuckin’ Sesame Street. I’m going back to my house, get something to eat, and chill.”

  “You are the master here. If you change your mind, I’ll be here waiting.”

  “Waiting for how long?”

  Alfred walked to the table, sat down, and leaned back in the chair. “As long as it takes; I’ve got all the time in the world.”

  Rebecca left the library and headed back into the house. Fuck him, he said I ain’t gotta do shit. I’ma relax until the Devil stop fuckin’ with me.

  Rebecca did nothing for the next few days save eat, drink, sleep and listen to music. She discovered a CD player with all of her favorite music in a drawer in her bedroom. She also soon realized that no matter how much she ate or drank, she never got full. As soon as she ate some food, the food would re-appear.

  I wonder if that muthafucka is still over there. Rebecca finally left the house and headed inside the library. Alfred was in the same place as before. He leaned back in the chair, staring at the ceiling.

  “You been sitting here this whole fucking time?”

  “It hasn’t been that long, has it? Feels like you just walked out
a minute ago. Have you changed your mind?”

  “I got bored.” Rebecca sat down at the far end of the table, away from Alfred. “What’s yo’ name again?”

  “Alfred.”

  “Yeah, I thought it was Poindexter or something.”

  Alfred smirked. “You are quite the comedian.”

  “A bitch had to have a sense of humor, all the shit happened to me….what kind of job you had when you were alive?”

  “I worked for the king. Not our king, but a king on Earth. Centuries ago.”

  “What type of work?”

  “Nothing important; the king never trusted me with anything too serious. I wanted to fight for him, to be a warrior, but the king thought I was too weak.”

  “Stop beatin’ around the bush, I don’t give a shit what you did. I used to swallow nut for a living.”

  “I was a…a servant. A house servant, not only to the king, but to the warriors. The king and all of them treated me like I was a…”

  “A hoe.”

  “Treated me like I was nothing.”

  “I know the feeling. How did you die? I got stabbed by a muthafucka who wanted to fuck me for free.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that, Rebecca. And everything else that happened to you when you were alive. For me, two of the king’s elite bodyguards got into a disagreement. They had been drinking. They used to drink a lot. I tried to separate them, and well, I woke up in Hell.”

  “Man, that’s fucked up.”

  “Yes, but you know what? I didn’t truly start living until I came to Hell.”

  “Why did King Pursan chose you? That’s his name, right?”

  “Yes, and I don’t know. I had no special gifts like you, and I was not a leader or brilliant tactician. I don’t know.”

  “Lucky muthafucka.”

  Alfred laughed. “We’re both lucky motherfuckers.”

  Rebecca laughed too. “Okay, okay, I see you.”

  “So, she can smile.”

  “Don’t get used to it, Poindexter. What about these fuckin’ books?”

  “What about them?”

  “Foreva, huh? Teach a bitch how to read.”

  Alfred sprang forward. “What’s that saying on Earth? Let’s raise the roof!”