by Dan Farris
“Wrong again, he is something. At least in Hell he is.”
“I came to this forsaken place to discuss overthrowing my father with Lucifer and you’re telling me that I should be talking to Pursan?”
“Yes and no. There have been many wars in Hell since the rebellion. If you plan on using Hell’s might in your war against Heaven, you must contend with Lucifer, Pursan, and the other kings. And why, if I can ask, would the mighty Samael rebel against God?”
“That doesn’t concern you, human.”
“Wrong again. You’re wrong a lot, aren’t you? Should you talk to the other kings, make sure to give their companions more respect then you’ve shown me.”
“Fine, tell Lucifer I’m here. I’m not going anywhere until I speak with him.”
Hime got up from her throne chair and left through the passage from which she entered.
Samael waited in the throne room until a slender man, as tall as him but more beautiful, appeared, sitting in one the throne chairs. He had tanned brown skin like Samael, and the crown that set on-top his head was made of fire. He wore a fine black suit.
“Hello brother. When Hime told me you were here, I couldn’t believe it. But look at you. We must upgrade your wardrobe.”
“Lucifer, at last. It took you long enough.”
“I had matters to attend to. Had to put down a little insurrection on Earth. It’s hard to find brothers you can trust these days. But you would know something about that, wouldn’t you? It seems like every time I send someone to the darkness, it’s only a matter of time before they attempt to become king in their own right.”
“Is that so? I hear you’re not even the king of Hell.”
“What can I say? After the rebellion, many of our brothers did not trust my judgment anymore. No matter; in the darkness, I still reign supreme.”
“I didn’t come here to talk about your political affairs. I came to talk about overthrowing Father.”
“Hime told me. Though, I must ask, why would you want to rebel?”
“Need I remind you? After your foolish attempt for the throne, Father destroyed our--”
“It was only foolish because you and the other commanders sided with Father. We could have won if you joined us! It’s your fault they no longer exist.”
“No! Your pride, arrogance, and ambition are the fault! All that we had--a perfect existence. Conquest, exploration, authorities over entire spaces! Our companions and offspring. We had it all, but you ruined it. You! It’s your fault!” Samael rushed toward Lucifer and grabbed him from the chair.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk, always such a bad temper. Maybe it was my fault, but still, why rebel now? It’s been eons.”
Samael released Lucifer and stepped back. “Father has betrayed me again. I fell in love with a creature and he destroyed her for it.”
“So, the rumors were true. You left Heaven after the rebellion? Let me make sure I have this right. You win the rebellion, and in gratitude, Father destroyed your companion and your offspring? And the only thing you do is leave Heaven? Later, after wandering this space, you find another companion, and Father destroys her? Finally, this final act of betrayal causes you to want vengeance against Father? Did I get all that right? What a sad tale. You are the mighty Samael, the first of us. You are more powerful than any of us, but you can’t defeat Father, even with Hell’s support. Take it from me.”
“I am not alone. Most of our brothers in Heaven are ready to join us, including several commanders. Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel, Saraguel, Reagul, Remeil, Metatron, Raziel, Tzaphkiel, Khamael, and Haniel. Gabriel is in Heaven rallying more support as we speak.”
Lucifer had a wide smile on his face, his eyebrows were raised, unable to hide his utter shock and excitement..
“Oh my, Father is doomed! Have you discussed this with the other kings?”
“No. I thought Hell had one king, so I came to you first.”
“Excellent! With your help, I’ll finally be able to defeat the other kings. All of Hell will be under my command, then we conquer Heaven!”
“I’m not here to help you solve petty feuds. If you don’t join me, I’m sure they will. Especially Pursan the cunning.”
“You know about him?”
“How did you let that happen?”
“Things are different down here, and Pursan is…always one step ahead. Fine, have it your way. I’ll call a meeting of the kings at the lake of fire. How exciting. Heaven is about to fall!”
And after that, I’ll do what Father should have done. Wipe you and all the other traitors from existence.
Chapter 13-Rebecca
Rebecca sank into a plush armchair in the library, clutching a heavy book in her hands. She had on jeans and a light sweater. By this time, she had been in Hell for what seemed like decades to her. She spent all her time with Alfred. He had never left her side. Alfred would teach her in the library, and they would walk around her territory, through her woods and green fields. They would spend time together in her home-- eating, drinking, listening to music and watching Rebecca’s favorite shows and movies from when she was alive. By now, Rebecca’s preferences had changed; her home was much smaller from when she first arrived in Hell. It was only a single story, with two bedrooms. Alfred slept in the guest room. They had not gone anywhere since Alfred took her to meet Essie, and no one had visited them.
“Okay, Rebecca, tell me the history of humans on Earth.”
“Is that the best you got? God allowed humans to evolve from small organisms until he created Ada--you know, human history is not all that interesting. Ask me some questions about Hell!”
“What are the seven rules of Hell?”
“The seven rules of Hell are:
1) No demon shall enter the territory of another demon without first getting permission from the demon that owns the territory.
2) If a demon is accused of violating rule #1, he shall be punished in whatever manner his king sees fit.
3) If a king is accused of violating rule #1, he shall be brought before the Council of Kings.
4) All newly formed territory in Hell shall belong to king in which the territory is newly formed.
5) A king can do as he pleases to all souls within his territory.
6) If a king is mistreating his demon vassals, the demons can bring their grievances to the Council of Kings, but only if at least a third of all demons within said territory agree the grievance has merit.
7) Newly arrived souls in Hell shall be divided equally amongst the kings, unless they agree otherwise.”
“Well done. Who rules Hell?”
“Hell is ruled by five kings: Lucifer, Beelzebub, Salikethal, Berith, and Pursan. Beelzebub controls the West, Salikethal the North, Lucifer the Northeast, Berith the East, and Pursan the South. In the middle lies the lake of fire and the Bottomless Pit. No one, demon or human, ever returns from the Bottomless Pit.”
“Who is the strongest of the kings?”
“Our king, King Pursan. He has the largest army and territory.”
“How is that possible? He is not even a Commander.”
“He makes up for his lack of brute power with cunning.”
“How strong is a commander compared to a non-commander?”
“Commanders are incredibly powerful, individually. It would take a million non-commanders to take down just a single commander.”
“Since we’re on the subject, how many original angels did God create?”
“Four hundred and sixty-six million, and one hundred and sixteen million rebelled against him.”
“How many angels remained after the rebellion?”
“A little over a hundred million.”
“And demons?”
“Due to the rebellion and countless wars in Hell, about eighteen million.”
“How big is Hell?”
“Too big to give an exact estimate. Earth could fit many times over. It’s an ever-expanding Pangea surrounded by an empty void. It grows every time a new soul arr
ives. Currently, it contains about seventy billion souls, give or take a billion.”
“Rebecca, I’m so proud of you! You’ve learned so much in your time here. You can speak every known language on Earth, and you know the entirety of human history.”
“That’s only because I had a good teacher.”
“Are you ready to explore now? Meet other souls?”
“Soon.” Not until you’re mine.
“I have a surprise for you. Follow me outside.”
“I hate surprises.” Alfred headed outside the library, and Rebecca followed. When Rebecca exited the library, a naked man was lying face down in the front yard. His eyes were closed.
“Who is that?”
“The king has heard your prayers. This vile creature just arrived.”
Rebecca walked over to the man. He had patches of gray in his hair. “David. It’s really him. Alfred, I, I…”
“It’s okay, it’s okay. He’ll stay asleep as long as you like. He’s yours to punish, for all eternity, as you see fit.”
“How did he die?”
“One of his ‘women’ owed a drug dealer some money. The drug dealer sent some men to recoup his money, and David here lost his temper. And as you can see, David wasn’t as tough as he thought he was.”
“Still a scumbag. Wake him up, now.”
“Rebecca, are you sure?”
“I’m sure, do it.”
David slowly woke. “Shit, oh fuck. Where’s my fuckin’ clothes, where da fuck am I? Where dem muthafucaks at? Bitch ass niggas messin’ with the wrong fuckin’ one. Where da fuck am I?”
“Get up, David. You’re so pathetic,” said Rebecca.
“What da fuck? Becca? Hell naw, you fuckin’ dead! I know you dead bitch! Yo ass died years ago! What da fuck is this shit?”
Rebecca slapped David across his face.
“Don’t ever call me that again. I’m no bitch, you worm. My name is Rebecca.”
“You fuckin’ bitch! I’ma beat your fuckin’ ass! You musta forgot who da fuck I am! What da fuck, I can’t fuckin’ move. I can’t fuckin’ move! Who da fuck is this muthafucka? What da fuck is dis shit?”
“Listen very carefully to me. I know it’s hard, but try to pay attention. You’re dead, and you’re in Hell. It shouldn’t surprise you, though, since you were a heartless bastard.”
“What da fuck you mean Hell? What da fuck you talkin’ about?”
“Are you too stupid to understand me?”
“Fuck you, bitch, and fuck that nigga too! I ain’t dead! I’ma beat your fuckin’ ass like I used to!” I was so young and broken; what did I ever see in this guy?
“Has he arrived yet? How I love new arrivals! Is he handsome? Not too old, I hope, not too old,” yelled the voice from the distance. Rebecca looked out and saw Curtis coming toward them.
“What is he doing here? He belongs to another king.”
“Not anymore,” Alfred said. “I invited him for David. I thought about getting someone else, but then I remembered you’ve already met Curtis.”
Rebecca nodded.
“Hmm, a bit old for my liking, but I’ll make due,” said Curtis. “Hello, Alfred, my old friend. Rebecca, is that you? My, it’s been awhile. You sure have changed. Tell Alitash thanks when you see her. My king grew tired of me and was planning on sending me back to the fields! Can you believe it? But Alitash convinced my king to let me come serve King Pursan.”
“Now who is this fat muthafucka?! What da fuck is dis shit?”
“What a potty mouth. I’ll have to fix that,” said Curtis.
“David, this man is going to take you, and when he returns, I’m going to take you to a place I know you’re going to love. Curtis, bring him back in, well, whenever you get bored of him.” Curtis licked David’s face, then placed him on his shoulder.
“Eww, you muthafucka! I’ma kick your fuckin’ ass, you fat fuck! Y’all fuckin’ with the wrong nigga. I’ma show y’all muthafuckas!”
“I heard you used to make women have sex with strangers while you took all the money? Who do I have to pay for what I’m gonna do to you?” Curtis laughed and hurried off with David on his shoulder.
“Are you okay, Rebecca?”
“I’m fine. I know what Curtis is; he’s sick. I don’t like him, but David, he deserves it, and more. It’s funny-- he had such a powerful hold on me, and now nothing. No love, no fear. I just want him to suffer for everything he did to me, for everything he did to others.”
“He will, he will. What are you going to do to him after Curtis brings him back?”
“The dome. And remind me to ask you about Alitash’s history with Curtis later.” Rebecca and Alfred headed back inside the library.
“I just realized that David was the last person I had sex with before I died. That was a long time ago.”
“Do you miss it?”
“Nah, I never really enjoyed it, to be honest with you. I mean, it was good, sometimes, but it’s something I could do without. What about you? Have you ever been with anyone?”
“Me? Of course, I’m thousands of years old. Of course I have, of course.”
“Why haven’t you?”
“Didn’t you hear me? I have.”
“Poindexter, don’t lie to me. I can always tell when you’re lying. Now why haven’t you been with anyone?”
Alfred sighed. “Honestly, I’m afraid.”
“Afraid of what? You know you don’t have to worry about pregnancy or an STD. We’re dead.”
Alfred grinned. “Not that. I’m afraid of falling in love.”
“You know you can have sex with someone without being in love. Take it from a former prostitute.”
“Not for me. The person I have sex with, I would want to be with them for all eternity. I would love them, and cherish them, for all eternity. A companion. I just haven’t found her yet.”
“Poor Poindexter. Well, cheer up, there’s still hope for you. Hell has billions of souls, and you do have eternity. Maybe you’ll find her. And who knows, maybe I’ll eventually have sex again, maybe. Now, let’s talk about the first war in Hell. How Lucifer lost power.”
A few days passed before Curtis returned with David. Rebecca and Alfred were walking in her woods when they returned.
“I say I broke him really good. He put up a fight at first, but soon learned his place.” David was crawling with his head down. His lips were pinched and his jaw was clenched. Rebecca walked over to him.
“What did you do to him?”
“Everything.”
“How does it feel to be used merely for another’s man pleasure? How does it feel? Speechless, are we? All the women you hurt. This is just the beginning. Welcome to Hell.”
Curtis rubbed David’s head. “What are you going to do with him now? Why not just have me place him in the fields?”
“The fields are too good for him. We’re taking him to the dome.”
“The dome?! May Pursan have mercy on you, my pet,” said Curtis as he patted David’s head. Curtis then left.
“Let’s go. I don’t want to keep this bastard waiting from his eternity.” Alfred grabbed David, and the three of them headed to The Dome.
“Rebecca, this is the first time we’ve left your home since Essie. Why is that?”
“Why?”
“Yes, aren’t you curious about what the rest of Hell looks like? Aren’t you curious about meeting other people? I know I must bore you.”
“You don’t bore me. I enjoy your company very much. And I don’t feel the need to see the rest of Hell, at least not now.”
“When, then?”
“After you’ve taught me everything you know, then maybe.”
“I feel like I have. Are you sure you don’t want to meet others? See other things? Even now, I can tell you’re taking the non-scenic route to the dome.”
“No, when I meet other people, I don’t want them to see the girl I was. That foul-mouthed seventeen-year-old little whore who couldn’t even read. I want
them to see the woman I’ve become.”
“I thought you were amazing when I first laid eyes on you.”
“Thank you.”
After traveling briefly, Rebecca, Alfred, and David arrived at the dome. It was a literal, gigantic dome-shaped structure with giant spikes protruding outward. Just in front of the entrance, a young woman sat in a chair. She was playing with a yo-yo.
“Hello, Alfred, haven’t see you in a while. Who are your friends?”
“Hello, Sasha, we have someone for you.”
“I take it you mean the wrench crawling on the ground. Dahmer will love this one. Unlike the rest of us, he never tires with his toys. Aren’t you going to introduce me to the pretty face?”
“I can speak for myself. My name is Rebecca.”
“A pretty name for a pretty lady. I’d love to get to know you. Has Alfred told you about this place?”
“It’s the home of the king’s most horrible souls. A paradise for the truly wicked to torment others for all eternity. So, if you’re here, you must be truly wicked.”
“Aren’t we all? Follow me inside.”
“No, me and Alfred aren’t going inside. Just the thing at my feet.”
“What a pity. After we dropped the wrench off, I wanted to show you where I lay my head. Perhaps some other time.”
“Perhaps.”
“Come, wrench, let’s go meet your new master.”
“Becca, please, I’m fuckin’ sorry, for everything, please, don’t let them hurt me anymore, please,” begged David. Rebecca stared at him momentarily.
“David, I wish I could tell you to go to Hell, but we’re already there. Don’t worry, you’ll see me again. I’ll come check on you every so often, to make sure they’re treating you as well as you treated me and all the others. Take him.”
“I like her.” Sasha dragged David inside the dome as he cried.
“Where to now?” Alfred asked.
“Do you need to ask? Back home.”
Rebecca and Alfred arrived back in her territory. Blood rained down from the sky, and the ground started to shake. “I didn’t know it rained it in Hell.”
“It doesn’t.”
Alfred’s whole body tensed up. “I hate to do this, but the king has called me to attend to some business.”