Hide and Secrets

by Sophie McKenzie

  ‘No, I don’t know him.’ She hands the phone to her neighbour who stares at the screen for a while, then shakes her head slowly.

  ‘Sorry,’ she says.

  She passes the phone along to the final lady, the one with the twinkling eyes. She gazes for a moment at the picture of Dad, then looks up. ‘I don’t recognize him,’ she says. ‘Has he just moved here?’

  ‘I… I… No,’ I say. ‘I think he moved here about a year and a half ago.’

  ‘Ah, that explains it.’ Twinkling Eyes offers me a sympathetic look. ‘We’ve all only been here three months or so, just before Yvonne took over in the office. He must have left before we came.’

  Her words feel like a slap to the face. I’d been so focused on the idea that Dad came here after faking his death, I’d completely forgotten that he might, later, have moved on again.

  My disappointment must show on my face.

  ‘Oh, pet,’ Twinkling Eyes says in a concerned tone. ‘I’m sorry. What’s your dad’s name?’

  ‘Alan, but…’

  I stop in the face of her blank expression, unable to admit that I have no idea that my father is almost certainly using a different name now. Instead I smile awkwardly, then back away. I hurry to the woman with the toddler and then to the man who has finished hanging out his washing.

  Neither of them recognizes either Dad’s picture or his name. I stand, my face whipped by the wind, staring at Dad’s image on my screen. Up until this moment I was convinced he was going to be here. What was that certainty based on after all? A single conversation with Rik. A guess based on a boat’s name and a few holiday brochures.

  And all the longing and hope in my heart.

  Tears prick at my eyes, as a wave of doubt washes through my body. And then the laundry man points me to a caravan opposite, surrounded by potted plants of all shapes and colours. ‘Try Mac,’ he suggests. ‘He’s an old-timer. If anyone’ll remember your dad, it’s him.’

  I trudge miserably over, glancing at the office trailer as I pass. There’s no sign of Yvonne right now, but she could appear at any moment. What am I going to do if I can’t find Dad? I think of Mum with a pang of guilt. She’s bound to be worrying, especially about Bess, and by now will be beyond furious with me. She’s probably telling everyone at the convention about my Grand Fire Trine, which apparently accounts for me being determined to the point of pig-headed.

  I round the plants trailer to find an elderly man with a bristling white beard and a stoop, pottering around a small table. He’s busy setting out a row of shallow plastic trays and a batch of tiny green plants and doesn’t notice me approach.

  ‘Hello,’ I say. ‘Mac?’

  He looks up. ‘Hello, there.’ Mac’s face is deeply lined, but there’s a bright curiosity in his eyes as he looks at me. ‘What can I do for you?’

  ‘I’m trying to find my dad.’ It’s hard to keep the emotion out of my voice as I hand over the picture of Dad yet again.

  Mac pushes his glasses up his nose and takes a close look. He stares at the screen for a good few moments, then hands the phone back to me.

  ‘This is your father?’ There’s a wary note to his voice.

  I nod.

  ‘What’s his name, then? His full name?’ The words aren’t a casual enquiry. They sound like a challenge. A test.

  It suddenly strikes me that Dad would have made anyone who does know him swear to keep his presence a secret. I hesitate. Rik insisted from the start I shouldn’t tell anyone Dad was alive. But standing here in front of Mac, with the salt wind blowing in my hair, I can’t see another option. This is my last shot at getting to the truth.

  ‘Dad’s real name is Alan Mooney.’ My heart thuds, hard, against my ribs. ‘But he probably used a different name here. He… he’s in hiding.’

  Mac’s weather-beaten face wrinkles further as he considers me. ‘And what’s your name?’

  ‘Cat.’ The wind whips a strand of hair in front of my eyes. ‘Please tell me if my dad’s here.’ My desperation rises. ‘Please. I have a little sister, Bess, and she’s with me and I know my dad would want us to find him. He’s in terrible danger and… and I have to warn him.’ I stop, sucking in my breath.

  Have I said too much?

  Mac peers closely at me, his eyes like blue buttons. ‘Yeah, I thought I recognized you.’

  ‘You did?’ I hold his gaze. ‘You do?’

  ‘Yes.’ He smiles. And for a second it feels like the whole world shrinks to his kindly blue eyes. ‘Your dad was here. For over a year. And very proud of you he was too. And your little sister. The only thing he kept from his old life was that photo you just showed me: him on the beach with the two of you… and your dog.’

  The wind picks up, battering against my cheeks, then just as suddenly dies away again. My heart feels like it has stopped beating. Here, at last, is proof that Dad did go into hiding.

  Which surely means that my journey hasn’t been in vain.

  My wonderful dad is still alive.

  21

  For a few moments I forget where I’m standing. I forget Yvonne in the office trailer. I even forget Tyler and Bess waiting outside along the cliff path.

  Mac gazes at me, concern in his eyes. ‘Are you all right? You’ve gone very pale.’

  I nod, though in reality it feels like the sea is thundering in my ears and that my legs might give way under me.

  ‘It’s probably shock at hearing about your dad,’ Mac muses. ‘Let me get you a glass of water.’ He peers at me. ‘Are you hungry? Would you like something to eat?’

  ‘No, thank you.’ I take a juddering breath. ‘Do you know where Dad is now?’

  Mac makes a face. ‘I’m afraid I don’t,’ he says. ‘Alan didn’t say. Said it was safer for both of us that way. He told me what happened to him, in confidence, of course.’ Mac shakes his head. ‘Nasty business.’

  ‘So…’ I’m struggling to focus on the details I need. ‘When exactly did he leave here?’

  ‘About six months back, I reckon it was.’

  ‘Six months ago?’ A sinking feeling lands in my stomach. How on earth am I going to trace Dad now?

  I lean against the table where Mac is potting his plants. He watches me with a worried expression. ‘Wait here,’ he says. He disappears inside his mobile home.

  The wind whips around my head as I try to think about what on earth I’m going to do next. My brain is all over the place. One second I’m brimming up with excitement that Dad is really out there. The next I’m overwhelmed with the desperate frustration that I’m as far away from finding him as ever.

  Mac reappears after a minute or so, a large paper bag in his hand. ‘Some rolls and cheese and a couple of apples,’ he says gruffly. ‘For you and the little one. I put two cans of pop in too.’

  I take the bag. ‘Thank you,’ I say, forcing myself to focus. ‘Are you sure you don’t have any idea where Dad went? No clue at all?’

  ‘Well, there is one thing I can tell you,’ Mac says. ‘Your dad’s a great one for helping people, as you’ll know, and, while he was here, he did a bit of carpentry work for a young mum with a little boy. Julie Walker. She left the caravan park before he did, so that’s a good while back now, but she might remember something as to where he went. I don’t have an address for her, but I think she mentioned she was moving to Hallerton East. Tiny place along the coast.’

  I nod. It’s not much to go on, but it’s better than nothing.

  ‘I’d better get back to Bess,’ I say. ‘Thanks for this.’ I hold up the bag.

  ‘Good luck,’ Mac says gruffly. ‘And give my best to your dad if you find him. Great guy. No matter how low he was feeling, he always had a smile on his face.’

  ‘Oh, thank you!’ Overwhelmed, I dart forward and give him a swift, impulsive hug. Mac smiles, raising his hand as I hurry away.

  My head is still spinning as I cross the dry earth towards the trailer. I’m not even properly thinking about Yvonne being inside it until I reach the
door and curl my fingers over the door handle.

  The paper bag Mac gave me dangles from my other hand. I grip it more tightly, suddenly aware that as soon as I open the door Yvonne will see me and realize I’ve been in the mobile-home park. I brace myself, ready to run, then lever down the handle.

  I leap up the steps and into the trailer. Yvonne is sitting behind her desk. She rises up, her mouth a shocked ‘O’.

  I dart across the trailer to the door opposite.

  ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ Yvonne rears up, out of her seat.

  I fling open the door and hurl myself out and across the hard ground. As I reach the cliff path I shoot a look over my shoulder. Yvonne is still inside the trailer, thank goodness. Clearly I’m not worth chasing. I slow down a little, jogging along the path to the big white rock. As I dart behind it, Bess is coming out of a passable cartwheel. She stands up, looking pleased with herself.

  ‘That was brilliant, Bess!’ Tyler says, unaware that I’m behind him.

  ‘It was,’ I add, catching my breath.

  Tyler spins round, his face lighting up as he sees me. ‘What happened?’ He rushes towards me. ‘Are you okay?’

  I can’t hold back the feelings surging inside me any longer. I drop the paper bag on the floor, seeing nothing except the concern on his face. And then, in floods of tears, I hurl myself into his arms.

  Tyler holds me as I sob, his hand stroking my back. The warm touch of his arms around me makes me feel stronger.

  A small hand tugs at my elbow.

  Tyler slides away as I glance down at Bess. She’s gazing up at me with big, round, worried eyes. I can read her thoughts as easily as if she were able to speak them:

  What’s going on? Why have we come all this way? How come you’re so upset?

  I fill up again with sadness.

  ‘Oh, Bess.’ I crouch down. ‘I’ll tell you what we’re doing here soon, but I… I can’t just yet—Ow!’

  I clutch my ankle, where Bess has just kicked it.

  She folds her arms and glares at me.

  Tell me. Now.

  ‘She knows it’s something big,’ Tyler says softly. ‘And she has been waiting all day.’

  I nod, slowly. I might be certain now that Dad is alive, but I’m still a long way from finding him and I don’t want to raise Bess’s hopes until I know she’ll be able to see him again. I couldn’t bear her to get excited, only to feel devastated if I can’t track Dad down for her. ‘I’m sorry, Bess, but you’re going to have to be patient and wait just a little bit longer.’

  Bess stares at me, her lips pressed together in fury. She lifts her foot as if about to kick me again. I scramble backwards, standing up. She stamps her foot on the ground.

  I reach for her hand, but she shoves it behind her back. I gaze at her, feeling helpless, then offer her a roll and a thick wedge of cheese out of the paper bag. She takes the food. For a second I think she’s going to throw it at me, then she turns and stomps over to a small rock. She sits down with her back to me, munching hungrily.

  ‘What happened?’ Tyler asks quietly, so Bess won’t overhear. ‘Wasn’t your dad in the mobile-home park?’

  ‘No,’ I say, turning to him. ‘Apparently Dad moved out six months ago and I don’t have an address. But I spoke to a friend of his who gave me the name of someone else who might know more. He wasn’t sure of her exact address, but it’s a tiny place, he said: Hallerton East.’

  I suddenly remember I haven’t taken the SIM out of my phone. ‘I’ll look for the place, while you look up buses back, yeah? Then we’ll switch off our mobiles again.’

  ‘Okay.’ Tyler nods.

  I take out my phone. There are two new messages from Mum along with yet another missed call. I groan, reading the texts.

  ‘Your mum?’ Tyler asks.

  ‘Yeah. She was cross. Then she was worried. Now she’s panicking.’ I sigh.

  ‘My dad’s annoyed too,’ Tyler says. ‘I’ve sent him a message saying I’m with you on a day trip and I’m fine. He’s not very happy that I ditched London without telling him.’

  Tyler and I sit hunched over our phones. After a few minutes we’ve found out that Hallerton East is about an hour’s walk away, and that the last bus from there back to Norwich leaves at 7 p.m. So long as we make that bus, we should get to Norwich with plenty of time to catch a late train to London. I double-check our route, then send Mum another message saying Bess and I are still fine and I’m sorry for upsetting her and she’s not to worry.

  Remembering Rik’s earlier message, I also text him saying:

  On Dad’s trail, will message again later

  Then I switch off my phone and remove the SIM again.

  I’m too churned up to eat, but I offer Tyler the bag of food and he takes an apple. While he’s biting into it, I wander over to where Bess is still sitting next to the small rock.

  ‘Come on, Bess,’ I say. ‘We just have to walk a bit further.’

  She makes a face at me but stands up.

  The three of us walk on. It’s slow-going with Bess beside us. If she isn’t trudging silently, dragging her feet, she’s noticing an interesting flower or an oddly shaped rock and stopping to investigate.

  After the way she got so cross earlier, I don’t have the heart to chivvy her along. We make our way back to the main road, follow that for a bit, then veer off inland. As we head along a footpath through a copse of trees, Bess skips back from a frothy-headed plant she’s been examining and takes Tyler’s hand. The three of us keep walking through the woods. The path forks and there are various twists and turns, but I’m certain we’re still on track, even though it’s taking longer than I thought.

  And then I check the time. I’m shocked to see it’s nearly six o’clock. I turn to Tyler.

  ‘Do you think we’ve missed Hallerton East?’ I ask, my anxiety rising. ‘It looked tiny on the map, we could have easily gone past it.’

  ‘We’d have seen a sign, wouldn’t we?’ He sounds tired and frustrated. ‘Or can’t small places in the country be bothered with signposts?’

  He smiles, but it’s not funny. If we don’t get back on track we’ll miss the 7 p.m. bus to Norwich and then the train to London, at which point Mum – who is already worried sick and furious with me – will probably explode with fear and rage and my life will be basically over and I still won’t have found Dad.

  ‘Don’t laugh at me for being from the country,’ I snap.

  ‘I’m not,’ Tyler shoots back. ‘That’s not what I said at all.’

  ‘Yes, it is,’ I insist, knowing that it wasn’t, and feeling even more irritated. ‘It’s not my fault we have no idea where we’re going.’

  ‘Well, it isn’t mine, either.’ Tyler glares at me.

  A tense moment passes. I’m suddenly aware of Bess watching us, her grubby hands clasped tightly together. Tyler obviously clocks her too, because he swings himself round and grins at her.

  ‘Hey, Bess,’ he calls. ‘Fancy a piggy-back?’

  She looks up, grinning at him.

  ‘Come on, then.’ Tyler hoists her on to his broad back and sets off.

  We’re moving faster than before, but the route is more confusing. Out of the wood, we take a path alongside a wide stretch of marshland. After almost another half-hour I’m certain we’ve gone wrong somewhere. We definitely should have reached Hallerton East by now. Away from the marshland and on the verge of another wood, I take out my phone again to check our location. But this time when I put in the SIM, there’s no phone signal. And no internet connection either.

  ‘I can’t get anything here,’ I say despairingly.

  Tyler frowns. ‘This doesn’t feel like the right way.’

  ‘No,’ I agree.

  Our eyes meet. Neither of us want to say it, especially not in front of Bess, but I can see Tyler is thinking the same thing that I am.

  We’re lost.

  22

  Bess is almost asleep on Tyler’s back as we try to retrace
our steps. There’s still no signal and the sun is now low over the distant trees. I check the time again. It’s just gone 7 p.m.

  ‘We’ve missed the bus back to Norwich.’ I groan. ‘There’s no way we can get back to London tonight.’

  Tyler nods. ‘Bess can’t go on much further anyway,’ he says. ‘She’s exhausted.’

  ‘Mum’s going to be furious,’ I mutter.

  ‘My dad will be too.’ Tyler grimaces. ‘I guess we better look for somewhere to spend the night.’

  I stare at him. ‘You mean out in the open?’

  Tyler shrugs. ‘What other choice do we have?’

  He’s right. We carry on walking, trudging past wheat fields and through another wood. Thick clouds gather overhead. They darken the sky and make the air cooler than it has been all day. Out of the trees, a rickety iron shelter appears on the left. There’s a rusty bit of farm equipment in the corner, clearly broken, and a scattering of small, square bales of hay.

  I check the time. It’s a quarter to eight and Bess is struggling to keep her eyes open. Tyler is basically holding her up as she walks. I look at the shelter, then at Tyler.

  ‘What do you think…?’

  Tyler shrugs. ‘I guess it’s better than nothing.’ We make our way under the shelter. I settle Bess on a hay bale and cover her with my jacket. Tyler lays his over her too. She blinks up at me with round, sleepy eyes. A pang of guilt grips me. Thank goodness she’s too exhausted to be scared about being out here, in the open all night. A second later, her breathing softens and deepens. She’s asleep.

  I flop on to the ground next to her, my back against the hay bale. Tyler sits down beside me.

  We look at each other. I can feel the tension from our earlier argument in the air around us.

  I take a deep breath. ‘I’m sorry I overreacted earlier.’

  Tyler gives me a rueful smile. ‘You weren’t the only one,’ he says. ‘Sorry I got cross too.’

  I smile back, feeling relieved. A bird screeches overhead. I peer at my phone. Still no signal.