Rising to darkness

by Lucia Guglielminetti

  "Good one, really! You’re funny, man, but you haven't told me your name yet..."

  Another feature that made Stefan unique was his recklessness and his inability to recognize danger when he faced it. I wouldn't have been surprised if he had tried to tickle the lycan under his belly when they met. He couldn't see me as a threat because we belonged to the same race, but I was eager to change his mind. I grabbed him by his neck and lifted him twenty inches from the ground up, smashing his back against the wall behind him, my fangs completely out. "I'm going to say it one more time so that you can understand much better, then I'm going to rip that empty head of yours off your neck and use it as a ball on my way home: leave me alone, I don't want your company, got it?"

  Strange puffing sounds came out of his mouth, as if he was suffocating, which is impossible for the likes of us. I, then, realized he was still trying to laugh even in that circumstance. I loosened my grip of his neck and let him fall to the ground, then I turned and walked away. I didn't want to admit even to myself the curiosity I had about the strange fellow. I expected to find him beside me again any moment but when it didn't happen, I couldn't resist the temptation to turn around. He was sitting in the same spot where I had left him and seemed to have noticed only then the wound on his shoulder. Incredibly, he was licking it like a dog, wrinkling his nose in pain.

  "What the hell are you doing, don't..."

  "What?"

  We were about six hundred feet from each other. With a roar of exasperation, I joined him again and held him back before he was able to give another lick at his bleeding shoulder, his personal remedy to werewolves’ scratches.

  "You're an idiot! You’re swallowing the poison that way. You're going to get sick as hell, stop it. Who the fuck created you? Didn't he teach you anything?"

  He shook his head with a sad expression, the corners of his lips turned downward. "It happened all of a sudden, I didn't even realize what was happening. One moment I was alive and kicking and the next I was like this: always thirsty, with these crazy teeth coming out of my mouth, making it hard to speak properly... Don't they bother you?"

  I shrugged.

  "When did it happen?"

  "Three days ago, I think. Things have been a little bit hazy since then..."

  "And where have you been sleeping these past three days?"

  "Here and there, mostly in the cellar of an abandoned house around the corner. I slept there before too and that’s where the guy found me. What did I become? Why can't I tolerate the sun anymore? Please, can you at least tell me something? Sometimes, I feel like I'm going crazy. Everything's so strange..."

  Right then, if I had his maker between my hands, I'd have killed him. I really mean it. It totally escapes me why one would create another one of us but then leave him all alone on his own so soon after. All I know is that it's a reckless, criminal, and almost blasphemous act. The Dark Gift can't be bestowed so frivolously as in the case of Stefan. I was at odds with myself, even if our threshold for compassion is very high.

  I urged him to follow me with a gesture of my hand, triggering joy from him. All the way up to my house, he continued to hop, bombarding me with questions and laughing in his wild way at everything I said. When we arrived, I gave him the high sign to be quiet and invited him to precede up the stairs. My intention was to teach him in the shortest possible time, clean him up a little, give him some decent clothes, and then leave him to get by on just as he had done up to that damned night I met him. His future was none of my business.

  At least that's what I thought back then.

  As soon as we entered, he looked around, his eyes wide open. My home wasn't even close to being Versailles, but judging from his exclamations, he seemed to have been convinced that it could have been. He explored all three rooms, opening all the drawers and the doors of the wardrobe and complimenting every single thing he found inside, as if he saw everything for the very first time. There was no way of stopping him: his natural speed was disconcerting. It was as if a tornado was passing through my apartment, leaving everything miraculously intact, only that the tornado was also talking the whole time as it swept through my apartment. Eventually, exasperated, I grabbed him by the shirt, forced him to sit at the table, and ordered silence.

  "You can't be so fucking noisy, humans live downstairs! I don't want them to find out what I am. I'm quite fine here and I intend on staying here for a long time. Got it?"

  "Yes, of course, boss, sorry. I got it. I'll be as quiet as a mouse."

  "I find that very hard to believe..."

  His mad laugh burst forth again, wild and uncontrollable. Even years later, when his manners and his appearance became more civilized, he was unable to hold it back and would get himself in trouble, like when Vincent came to visit our Academy and he let it out. He was imprisoned for a whole month without being able to feed, even laughing as they led him to the cell, under the furious glare of Vincent who had never endured such outrage from any of his subordinates, nor from anyone else for that matter. Apart from me, maybe.

  "Now you've got to listen to me, I don't intend on repeating what I’m going to tell you, ok? Given that the animal of your maker didn't do it, I'll roughly explain to you what you've become and what it entails. Eventually, I'll try to get you back on your feet, and then we will part ways permanently, ok?"

  He nodded with energy, a smile full of expectation on his thin face. You could never tell whether he was kidding you or not as his behavior didn't change in either case. I was always uncomfortable with it, but, like everything else in Stefan, it was totally spontaneous and could never be changed.

  "First: don't ever smile like that, with your mouth wide open. You display your fangs and make people run. It's not wise."

  "Why?"

  "Second:” - I went on ignoring him – “don't ask too many questions and maybe you'll come out of here alive. Third: you are a vampire. Your heart doesn't beat anymore, you're dead, at least from a physical point of view, but you still move, talk, and think even better than before. Here's what you can and cannot do. Open your ears."

  I listed the advantages and disadvantages of our condition, the dangers we need to avoid, the limits involved, and the new skills we had acquired after the transformation. I also explained that not all the vampires were the same - it was evident in his case - and that the ability of someone could be absent in someone else. It was up to him to discover his new talents and put them to good use, training constantly to develop them.

  "I saw that you're very fast, for instance. Can you also read minds?"

  He looked at me as if I had just spoken Arabic. No, mind reading had never been one of his skills, but we were just going to find out about an amazing one.

  "What about you, man? What can you do? Can you turn into some animal?"

  "I'm afraid not and I don't know anyone who's able to do it, so I suppose it's just a legend."

  At that moment, my eyes fell on his wounded arm with surprise. How was it possible he didn't feel any pain? It was truly a mystery…

  "Doesn't your arm hurt? You should be doubling over in pain, but you are not. It's very strange. Maybe you've got some special gift, apart from stunning people with your nonstop chattering…"

  "YA-HAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

  “Exactly,” I said, “maybe you're immune to werewolves’ venom. If Vincent saw you, you would scare the life out of him!"

  "Who's Vincent?"

  I told him what I knew about this subject and he seemed very much impressed.

  "Do you think I could present my candidacy to their Academy? Maybe I could be…"

  "Anything can happen, but you can't show up like that... Listen, I've got an idea, but it's the last thing I will do for you. You promise to go your way after then, right?"

  A nod, but less enthusiastic than before. The prospect of being alone again scared him, I could see it in his thoughts, but I didn't want it to become my problem.

  "Do you have something to eat? Since this has all ha
ppened, I can't swallow any food. They disgust me, even things I used to like very much, and I can't find anything that feeds me. Actually, it is more thirst than hunger, but water has the same effect on me. I drink gallons of it, but I'm still thirsty. Do you know why?"

  I stared at him for a long time, astonished. Of all the things I had told him, he had missed the most important thing: the fact that we can feed just on blood. He had been transformed three days ago, maybe more, and since then he hadn't had a drop of it, yet he had retained his energy and his mind. That, indeed, was a very unique skill.

  "Let me get this straight. You mean to tell me that since you've been transformed, you have never killed anyone to feed from them? You have never drank blood since then?"

  Head shaking and a disgusted expression. "That's what you do? You kill people to...to eat them?"

  I sat down on the chair with a thud, unable to stop staring. The situation was more serious than I thought.

  "Are you all right? You're looking like shit... Did I say something wrong?"

  "Your name's Stefan, right?"

  Nod of assent.

  "You got that you're a vampire, didn’t you?"

  Another nod.

  "Good. Tell me, what do you think vampires are supposed to do apart from, to use your expression, killing people to eat them? Moreover, we don't eat them. We only drink their blood. Please, Stefan, tell me, because now I'm the one who doesn’t understand anything."

  "I... I don't know, I never thought about it. But it's an awful thing! I'll never be able to do that!"

  "You'll have to if you want to survive. If not, there's always the dawn..."

  "Is that what happened to you, man? If I take a closer look, your skin looks like a road map..."

  Once again, that little man surprised me. It took remarkable perspicacity to deduct such a conclusion with the paucity of information in his possession.

  "Something like that, yes. However, we weren't talking about me. You absolutely have to feed tonight. It's a miracle you're still alive and so full of energy."

  "Really?"

  "Newborn vampires like you usually have to feed soon after the transformation and every night for several years thereafter. It's really incredible..."

  "Does it hurt? The sun, I mean. During these past few days when I tried to get out, I felt myself burning, but as soon as I returned indoors, I felt better. How was it for you? When did it happen?"

  "What you mean by indoors? You mean in the dark," I asked, both to deflect his questions and because that sentence had triggered yet another alarm in my head.

  "Dark, light, what do I care? It's enough for the sun not to shine on me directly and I'm fine. Aren't you?"

  "You haven't heard a single word of what I have said, you idiot! I've been telling you for two hours about sleeping in a coffin, going out at night, and coming back home before dawn and you're asking me if I can stand daylight, making comments on my skin… How many are you in there?!"

  "YA-HAHAHAHAHAHHA!"

  He saw my homicidal expression and tried to refrain himself, but his insane laugh was stronger than him and faded only when it decided to. "Sorry man, don't get mad, I'm not doing it on purpose! When I feel like laughing, I can't hold back, I've always been like this... So, let's recap: I can expose myself to light but not to direct sunlight, and you can't. The scratches of those big dogs…” - another lethal expression from me - “…of those werewolves, sorry, don't make me sick but you, yes. I have not eaten for three days and I don't feel particularly down. I must be a strange vampire then, mustn’t I be?"

  "You don't look like the traditional vampire, that's for sure. You don't even act like one. Listen, it's almost dawn and I have to sleep now. You have to leave. And, you have to feed even if the idea repels you."

  "But... I don't know how one begins to kill someone... Couldn't you help with this? I can’t do it alone."

  "I can't. Not now. It's too late to go out, at least for me. Try to figure it out and don't get yourself killed before tomorrow night. I'll come to look for you and we can decide what to do. Now go away, I'm tired."

  He walked to the door with his head down, dragging his feet, without a trace of a smile on his pale face. I felt a slight twinge, like a sense of guilt, but I pushed it straight back. As Shibeen often said, I had to avoid getting involved in other people’s problems. That guy, though, was really pathetic, damn him!

  Before he closed the door behind him, I gave him the suggestion that would change his life: "We can feed from animals too, even though it's not quite the same. If your tender heart can stand the pain of killing a cat, or a dog, or any other animal, you don't need to take it out on people.”

  His face lit up once again, as if he had just received the best news in the world. "Really? That’s great! Even rats count? I feel bad for the cats and the dogs..."

  I looked at him, wincing. "If you don’t puke after that...God, how disgusting!"

  "Can I ask you another question?"

  I was sitting in my trunk and was looking forward to closing its lid, but I invited him to speak with a nod and a sigh.

  "If we can also feed from animals, why don’t you do it?"

  "You don't know why? We're evil creatures, devoid of compassion and empathy, some more than others. Goodnight, Stefan, see you tomorrow."

  "Goodnight. I still don't know your name, man."

  "Raistan. My name's Raistan, ok? Now walk out that door, unless you want to find out new and interesting meanings of the word 'evil'."

  The laughter that followed probably woke the whole building, but it was too late to worry about it and even to reflect on the strange peculiarities of my guest.

  18 - UNDER A LUCKY STAR

  The following evening, when I went out to meet up with Stefan, I found him waiting for me outside my house, half-asleep on the front step. I grabbed him by his collar and dragged him behind me in the middle of the street. The sun had gone down not long before, but it had been a cloudy day. It was easy to imagine that he had spent most of his time there, given his insensitivity to diffused light. In this regard, I must say that was one thing I always envied in him: he could enjoy the day from start to finish and didn't have to run and take refuge in a hole as we do... a great advantage for an immortal.

  "You must never, ever, hang around outside of my house while you wait for me, do you understand? You draw to much attention, ragged as you are! Did anyone see you?"

  "I had a little chat with the people living in the apartment below yours, they also gave me some bread, but I didn't like it so much... Of course, I didn't tell 'em that. They're nice, aren't they?"

  We were walking at a human pace, going down the stairs that connected my district to the rest of the city as I continued to drag him by his collar, my eyes staring straight ahead.

  "I don't know. I have never met them," I snarled, feeling a bit embarrassed in spite of myself.

  "Oh. How long have you been living in that house?"

  "For some time."

  "What about them? Did they just move recently?"

  I halted and turned him to face me, handling him like a puppet, he weighed more or less the same.

  "I don't know. And I don't give a fuck about them, right? I like to keep to myself."

  "Oh, I can see that..."

  "Did you tell them anything?"

  "What could I possibly tell them? I don't know anything about you; you're more airtight than an oyster..."

  He appeared to reflect a bit about that sentence and then burst into his usual coarse laugh, which I was careful not to echo.

  "Hey, you can stop dragging me around, I can walk alone! Last night, I took your advice, you know. I found some good fat rats and drained them all to the last drop. Not bad, apart from their hair sticking to your tongue..."

  "Please..." I muttered, shivering with disgust. When I was... absent, I fed from things much worse, but it was an experience I wasn't eager to repeat. Not in a million years.

  "Where are we going? To the
infamous Vincent?"

  "Of course, I'm taking Mr. Who-knows-who-he-is to the Master of Diurnals... Don't be ridiculous! We're going to a friend's house, she's not there but she has a brother about your size: if we're lucky, we can find some decent clothes for you to wear after taking a bath."

  "Bath? You mean with water, soap, and so on? I don't want to, everybody knows that washing is bad for you."

  I grabbed him by his shirt again and forced him to stop, blocking him with a look that would make anyone run away screaming. "I don't care what you think, or about your stupid beliefs. Here, you do as I say, or you can go back to your sewers with your rat friends. Got that?"

  His eyes widened and he ran a hand over his forehead, as if to wipe an invisible sweat. "You're very good at looking bad to people, you almost scared me. Ok, ok, I will do as you say. Can I ask you a question?"

  We were walking again and, sometimes, I looked around to make sure we weren't attracting anyone’s attention. I'm obsessive about this, I must admit. Occupational hazard, I guess.

  "I'd rather not, but then I know that you'd do it anyway, so hurry up."

  "Why are you always so pissed off?"

  “I'm not always so pissed off, if you must know. The thing is, I don't like surprises and I don't like pains in the ass. You are both, that's why I'm so pissed off. And still, it's none of your business."

  "I know, you've already said that. Being with you hasn’t been so fun either, Mr. Congeniality, if you must also know."

  I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a moment in a vain attempt to stay calm. With his naive but relevant questions, Stefan has always been one of the few people who managed to embarrass me and make me reflect on myself, sometimes with unpleasant results.

  "Fine. Well, why don't you go then? I'm not going to hold you back because my life before I met you was going well enough."

  "You were bored to death, I'd bet my ass on it. Come on, you've been living in the same place for 50 years and you don't even know the faces of your neighbors. How long has it been since you’ve talked to someone? Months, I bet."