The Vaticinator

by Namita Singh

your comfort zone?” he asks me.

  That’s his polite way of saying that I shouldn’t be questioning Gwen aunt’s will. I guess it’s natural for him to defend her, since she is his partner. Since the seventeen years of my life she may have spoken maybe ten words in total. Not just to me but to everyone included. It sometimes comes off as offensive, as if we are not superior enough for her to share a conversation with. I know I shouldn’t pry or even be judgmental about her life, but my curiosity doesn’t let my mouth remain shut nor my thoughts to remain vacant of the unanswered questions.

  “Are you sure she is not suffering from some disorder?” I blurt out again, ignoring Terry uncle’s subtle warning.

  “Josh.” My father says calmly.

  “I am just asking.” I grumble.

  “Not for the first time.” Father replies, remaining calm.

  I roll my eyes, “Because you people never give me suitable reasons.” I say, my mood darkening by the second. Seriously, what is so wrong if I want to know everything about my family? Terry uncle and Aunt Gwen may not be blood related to us. But we live under the same roof and have been doing so since innumerable years.

  “There is no need to know everything that doesn’t concern you.” Father says with a tone of finality. He gets up, preparing to leave.

  “Why? Because I am not mature enough?” I retort back.

  The innuendo is not lost on the two men. Terry uncle gives me a droll look at my comment, while I sense my father’s stare at me. But father doesn’t say anything, like he never does. He simply walks by, patting my shoulder once and disappearing through the kitchen’s door.

  Terry uncle sighs, “You know…you’re not very far from maturity. I’d say to give it a few days.”

  Now there is Terry uncle. Always diffusing optimism. I scoff.

  “You don’t believe me?” Terry uncle continues, “Nikolai told me you were exceptionally better this morning. Even he believes you to be mature soon.”

  “Yeah,” I start sarcastically, “I can see that father is getting desperate.”

  “Josh.” Terry uncle warns in an undertone. “I am being serious. Nikolai sounded happy about you improving. He is certain you’ll mature soon.”

  I remain quiet for a moment. What he is telling doesn’t appease me a bit. Not because it may not be true, but because I don’t like to hear such things second handed. I look at him, my stubborn expression melting away a little.

  “I just wish he’d tell me the same.” I whisper. If I’d be loud enough, my father will hear it. Being a mature therian his hearing is good enough at twenty to thirty foot spaces. And even though father’s room is at the first floor, I am in no doubt that he’ll hear our conversation.

  Terry uncle sighs, “You know that Nikolai is never good with words, don’t you?” he whispers back.

  “But why?” I whine, whispering, “I tell him everything. He is the first one to know everything significant happening in my life. Why can’t I deserve the same dignity? Am I the only one growing up? If I am growing as a child, isn’t he growing as a father?”

  Terry uncle sighs again, “It’s not like he doesn’t tell you anything.”

  “That’s not the point anymore. Yeah, so he answers half of my questions, the ones he think I am ‘suitable’ enough to know.” I say sarcastically. “It makes me feel as if I am not worthy of being his son. I am not a kid anymore that he has to be reserved when it comes to sensitive issues.But, no.” I drawl, “He doesn’t express his feelings to me and refuses to answer half of the things I ask. What do you expect me to interpret?”

  Terry uncle sighs again.

  “Stop doing that.” I say.

  He gives me another droll look, “Look, Josh, Nikolai has never been a talker, least an expresser. Just because he doesn’t tell you how proud he is of you, doesn’t mean he is not.”

  I huff, “Could have fooled me.” I mumbled.

  “Hey,” Uncle snaps at me, “Don’t you ever think that Nikolai loves you any less. I have been his best friend for almost thirty five years now, since we were toddlers, and I take pride in the fact that I may know him better than even Nina. It’s not like he used to be expressive back in the days. Your father has always been like this and I have grown accustomed to it. So, believe me when I say, that he cannot be more proud of you. He loves you dearly, even if his actions speak otherwise.” Uncle rolls his eyes at the end.

  I swallow, “I just wish he’d tell me that.” I start quietly, “You know…just express anything. Even disappointment and anger would do. He doesn’t even express that, ever.”

  Terry uncle chuckles, “He takes it after your grandfather. Even he was a very, very sober man. I used to find him very threatening back in the days.”

  I smile ruefully. “In your so called ‘realm’?

  “In our so called ‘home’.” Uncle says dryly.

  I shake my head, smiling. Even this ‘realm’ or ‘home’ is unknown to me. I have raised several questions to my father regarding the realm from where we are and where it is situated. He just tells me a few nonchalant things about the history of our realm, but nothing specific. He never even answers for why they had left their realm. He is even vaguer to speak about my ancestors.

  “What was he like?” I ask uncle, seeing an opening of some sort. It’s very rarely any of the elders talk about their past lives, or of our ancestors.

  “Nikolai? Even then he used to be-”

  “No,” I interrupt. “Grandfather…what was my grandfather like?”

  Terry uncle takes a moment to gather his thoughts. I am almost half sure that he is contemplating whether to divulge information or not and I make my expression as hopeful and innocent as possible. The trick works and resigning, uncle sighs again.

  “Mikhail Lichinsky was a force to be reckoned with.” He begins, like narrating a story to a toddler. A smile effortlessly makes its way on my face, “Just imagine,” Uncle continues, “an exaggerated version of your father. Not just in the respect of sobriety, but also in the abilities. There was hardly anyone in the realm who could be his match. He was threatening with his therian capabilities, but soft hearted, just like your father. Being the leader of our realm, he had-”

  “Leader?” I say in between, “He used to be the leader?”

  “Uh…” Uncle looks regretful to have spilled that, but nonetheless continues. Probably enjoying his reminiscence, “Yes, he used to be our leader. The best our realm ever had. I still remember when I had joined the training sessions at the age twelve. Your grandfather personally used to teach us. I almost shat in my pants, he was dreadful.”

  I chuckle.

  “But,” Uncle continues, “He was equally wise. It used to be our ritual to gather once a week for a bonfire night, just like we do sometimes here. All the kids would gather around Mr. Lichinsky and listen to him giving insightful speeches. I used to be his fan,” Uncle grins, “I couldn’t resist befriending his son.”

  I roll my eyes, “Why did you guys even leave?” What he is narrating sounds unimaginably pleasant. I can’t think of a single reason that would have driven our elders out of the realm.

  Uncle simply shrugs in reply. “It was time to move on.” He gets up and picks up his plate to put it in the dishwasher, “The realm was awfully orthodox anyways. I mean, nowadays, who would listen to the elder giving boring speeches about life, while they can be texting endlessly on their smartphones?”

  He has a point, I think. It still sounds remarkably good.

  “My name is so…dingy as compared to him.” I say suddenly.

  “Huh?” uncle says, turning to look at me.

  “Josh Lichinsky. I mean, really, ‘Josh’? Mikhail and Nikolai are far regal. I have no doubt it’s my mother who did my namesake.”

  Uncle gives off a booming laugh. “Actually, I believe it was Rufina who suggested the name.”

  “You’re kidding me.” I deadpan. Rufina aunt is almost a female version of my father, only a tad bit expressive. It’s almost scar
y how different she is from my mother. Yeah, she may be the elder sister to my mother, but possesses exceptionally different characters. For one, she doesn’t wear make-up, unlike my mother.

  Uncle chuckles. “Your mother wanted Rufina to name you. She knows how much Rufina loves kids. And see? The first chance she got, she adopted Aakir.”

  I grin back. Aakir’s finding and adoption events are quite memorable. He was found soon after my birth, when uncle and father had gone for a stroll in the forest park. Since both the elders were mature, they sensed Aakir’s presence instantly. They had a day of surprise finding a barely one year old, bawling his eyes out in the cold woods. The surprise intensified when that one year old was sensed to be a therian. More surprise had been the following days when my family vouched for police investigation, so as to know the source of the kid. A month later, with no concrete information, Rufina aunt formally adopted Aakir.

  “Will Rufina aunt ever find a partner?” I ask.

  Uncle shrugs, “If you have a partner, you usually find them in the early years. Rufina is almost forty years old now. I doubt it.” he shrugs, “But miracles happen.”

  I smirk and shake my head at ‘miracle’. “Rufina aunt is not miserable.” I roll my eyes, “She is surviving plenty well without the ‘miracle’.”

  “Josh…It’s comforting to know that you will have a companion for life. Though Rufina is happy, I am still sure she doesn’t count herself lucky.”

  I take a moment to ponder over that as Uncle fills a