When She's Broken

by Briann Danae

  As Lex began giving her the shelter update starting with who was all in shelter, Honey grabbed the roster list. It was in chronological order beginning with the ladies who had been in the shelter the longest to whom had just arrived. When Honey got to the end of the list, the sip of iced coffee she took, flew from her mouth.

  "Whoa!" Lex exclaimed. "You okay?"

  Coughing, Honey placed her cup down on the desk. "The new resident… you sure this is her last name?"

  Grabbing the sheet, Lex looked it over and nodded. "Yeah. That's what she told me it was last night and that's the name on the hotline sheet from when she called."

  Honey gulped. There had to be a typo. There was no way Astryd, her best friend, was in a shelter. Specifically, the one she worked at. She wanted to ask why, but the answer was clear as day. Honey thought back to the events of yesterday and remembered she and Astryd's text conversation. In it, she seemed like her normal self. Astryd didn't reply to her last text, but that wasn't anything out of the ordinary. She was known for forgetting to respond to messages. Now, Honey was questioning what normal was. How did I miss the signs? Feeling horrible, but not wanting to divulge her current findings, Honey did her best to compose herself.

  "Oh okay. I think I must have read it wrong," she fibbed.

  Lex gave her a quizzical look but didn't press the issue. The rumbling of her stomach reminded her that she needed to eat. After giving her an update, Lex grabbed her things to head home. Slumping into the chair, Honey told herself not to shed a tear while on the clock, but she couldn't help it. Astryd was her best friend, her sister, her… a woman who was getting abused and couldn't come to her friend about it.

  With the profession she was in, confidentiality wasn't something the agency took lightly. Honey had been working at the shelter for years, and her friends knew that, but the details of it weren't known. Many days when she left work, she'd vent to Astryd, but never did she imagine coming in and Astryd being the one venting to her. As tears rolled down her cheek, she quickly wiped them when a knock came to the closed office door.

  "Come in," she called out.

  Peeking her head inside the doorway, Astryd did a double take and hurriedly shut the door. Rushing from her seat and from behind the desk, Honey pulled the door open. With pleading eyes, trembling lips and arms outstretched, she motioned for Astryd to come to her.

  "I-I didn't know you worked at this one. I mean, I wasn't even thinking about that when I called. I was just trying to get away," Astryd choked out in a rushed manner.

  "It's okay, it's okay. Come in the office."

  When the door closed behind them, the two hugged and cried hard on each other's shoulders. Astryd for more than one reason and Honey because she felt her friends' pain. It was bouncing off her so strongly and breaking Astryd down. Holding her friend up as she let out blubbering cries from her gut, Honey then knew that whatever she had been going through didn't just begin. The type of breakdown she was experiencing had been bottled up for a while.

  Breathing hard, Astryd sniffled and wiped her face as she lifted up. "I'm sorry. I got your shirt all wet."

  "Girl forget about this shirt. Here," she said, handing her some tissue.

  Grabbing it, Astryd blew her nose and took a seat in front of the desk. "I guess you want an explanation, huh?"

  "No. You don't have to give me one, but I do have a question. Where are the girls?"

  "In the room sleep. I was coming to see if I could use the phone to call Grammy. I cut mine off."

  "That's why you didn't text me back. Are you hurt? Did he hit you?" Honey asked, going into protective mode.

  Astryd squeezed her eyes shut, exhaled, and peeled them open. "There's just so much you don't know and so much to explain. One day, I'll tell you it all, but not today, okay."

  "You don't have to. I'm just glad you're safe."

  "Is me being here and knowing you going to be okay?" Astryd asked, and her question felt like a gut punch to Honey's ribs.

  Their situation was indeed a conflict of interest and Honey knew she'd be on pins and needles all day with them in the shelter. Even if they tried going about it by pretending like they didn't know one another, the girls would more than likely not let that happen. They loved Honey, and once they saw her face, it'd be a wrap.

  Seeing the look on her friend's face, Astryd shook her head. "It's fine. I'll just have to find somewhere else to go. I don't want you getting in trouble."

  "I won't, but you don't have to go to another shelter. Stay with me. You know I don't mind," Honey insisted.

  "No. I can't. He knows where you live and it's only a matter of time before he realizes I'm not coming home before he starts harassing y'all. I know he'll start with your place first."

  The seriousness in Astryd's voice caused chills to shoot up Honey's spine. "It's that bad, Astryd?"

  The only response Astryd could give was a head nod. However bad Honey was thinking it was, she was correct. Telling herself not to cry again, Honey sat down next to Astryd.

  "So, what do you want to do? Our main priority is making sure you and the girls are safe."

  "I honestly don't know. Like, I don't know what I should do or where I should go. I should've never messed with him. He's a fucking psycho, Honey. I never thought I'd be that girl you know? Especially with the way my mom—"

  "Ssshh. We don't have to talk about it. Let me figure something out for you okay? No matter what though, this isn't your fault. None of this. What he did to you is because he lacks in areas of his life that you strive in. You're beautiful, intelligent, a great mother, can cook your ass off, you work hard for your own money, kind-hearted, and you love hard and selflessly, plus so much more."

  "I loved him so much, I forgot to love myself."

  Her revelation hit Honey like a ton of bricks. Astryd's vulnerability at that moment had Honey ready to send her people to her friend’s crib and do Alonzo grimy. When her jaw clenched, Astryd shook her head no already knowing what was on her mind.

  "No. Don't do anything. If it were just me in this situation, I would have retaliated a long time ago. I refuse to let my girls grow up without me. They need me."

  "Yes, they do. We all need you."

  The two hugged again, and the wheels in Honey's head began to spin. She had to get her friend help and quick. Though the shelter was safe, Ashlynn had cried all night, and Ashlee peed the bed. Thankfully, there was more than one bed, but that wasn't like Ashlee. Going through the list of people in her head who could possibly be of some help, a light bulb went off in her head as she snapped her fingers.

  "What was that for?" Astryd questioned.

  "I have an idea. Just… let me see if it's okay and we'll go from there okay?"

  Astryd sighed. She didn't have many options, so she nodded. If anyone was going to look out for her and have her back, Honey did. She had a plan, a farfetched one, but a plan nonetheless. Now, if it fell through, she'd be happy as hell.

  "I'm not taking the girls to daycare or to Grammy's today, so we'll just chill out," Astryd told her.

  "Okay. After I make a few phone calls, I'll let you know what's up on getting out of here. Did you drive?"

  "Yeah. I really didn't want to, but the car is in my name, so he shouldn't be able to call the police or anything, right?"

  That idea hadn't crossed her mind until now. Honey shook her head no.

  "Nah. It would be a waste of time honestly. Just keep your phone off because you know he's going to call."

  Astryd nodded her head and stood up. She had no plans of powering her phone on knowing the crazy things Alonzo had sent.

  "I-I've never left him before," she said in a shaky, unbelievable breath.

  Honey pulled her into a hug. "Well, there's a first time for everything, right?"

  Chapter Six

  Happy wasn't quite fitting of a word to describe how D'Haven felt. He had just landed a job with Frito-Lay as a fork-lift driver and started working next week. It started off with good pay, a
nd though he was used to raking in much more than nineteen dollars an hour, D'Haven wasn't turning the job down. Especially not with the way his pockets were looking.

  Thanks to Winston and Tech, he had a crib, a car, and a nice stash, but D'Haven wanted his own bread. He appreciated them looking out, but money didn't last forever. Especially not when he had practically started his life all over. Thanking the Man above for helping him secure the job, D'Haven hopped in his ride and peeled out the parking lot.

  As soon as he hopped on the highway heading toward his mama's house, his phone rang. Seeing Honey's name flash across the screen, he answered her call with a grin on his face.

  "What's up, cuz."

  "Hey, big head. You busy?" Honey asked.

  "Nah. I just left my second interview for my job. What's up?"

  Honey squealed. "Oh my gosh! Congratulations! You got it, right? I mean you said your job."

  Chuckling, D'Haven said, "Yeah. I got it. Thank you. I start next week."

  "I'm so proud of you D'Haven. Seriously. Most niggas get out and be complaining or revert to the life that got them locked up. I swear you need to talk to some of these niggas out here. Make them step their game up," Honey fussed.

  "Everybody not as ambitious as me, Honey Doo Wop. You know that," he said, reminded her of her nickname.

  "I miss when you called me that," she laughed. "Okay. But, to the reason I called. I need a huge, huge favor. And before you say no, just hear me out."

  "I was going to. What does this favor consist of?" He asked, switching lanes.

  "Well, it involves three girls—"

  "A foursome? What hoes you be kicking it with that get down like that?" D'Haven asked amused and halfway interested, making Honey suck her teeth.

  "No, it's not a foursome nasty. It's Astryd and her daughters."

  A smirk danced in the corner of his mouth hearing her name. They hadn't talked since the night of his party, and that was over two weeks ago. D'Haven had been so focused on getting his life back on track, women, including Astryd, had been placed on the back burner. Now that he was somewhat on track, he figured he'd see what she was up to.

  "Yeah? What about them?"

  "Actually, can you just come to my house, so I can ask in person. They're here."

  "You just got serious as hell. She good? They good?"

  D'Haven's tone let Honey know right then he was going to be pissed when he found out why she needed a favor from him. If she knew the history between the two, Honey would know that pissed was putting it lightly for the way D'Haven was about to feel. That was another secret Astryd had yet to reveal, but she would soon enough.

  "Um, I'll let you find out for yourself. I'm texting you my address now. I don't live far from your mama. Like fifteen minutes," she told him.

  "Aight. I was headed that way anyway, so I'll see you in a little bit."

  "Okay."

  The entire way there, D'Haven thought of all the things that could be wrong with not only Astryd, but her girls as well. When Honey told Astryd who she was reaching out to, she put up somewhat of a rebuttal, but not much of one. D'Haven was the only person they could think of who wasn't directly connected to Astryd. Plus, Alonzo had never been to his place or knew who he was.

  Pulling into Honey's driveway, D'Haven parked and hopped out. Honey opened the door and let him in. After giving him a hug, she walked him to her kitchen area where Astryd was. Ashlynn was taking a nap in the living room while Ashlee played on her tablet.

  When D'Haven strolled through the entryway looking like a damn walking orgasm, Astryd swallowed the extra saliva that gathered in seconds. Dressed professionally for his interview, D'Haven was rocking a black button-down shirt tucked into black slacks, and a pair of black dress shoes. Though she tried not to let them, Astryd's eyes fell to the bulge in his pants. It was just… there, unintentionally calling her name. She felt like a slut for thinking such nasty thoughts at a time like this, but hell, the girl was still a woman, and D'Haven looked good as hell. She wanted to call up Deb herself and thank her for birthing such chocolatey goodness.

  "What's up, Pebbles?" He said, kissing her cheek. Her entire frame relaxed at the feel of his lips.

  She gave him a soft smile. "Hi. You look nice."

  "Preciate it. Now, what's going on? You and the girls good?"

  He got straight to the point. There was honestly no need to beat around the bush. Releasing a deep breath, Astryd looked toward Honey for assistance. With ease, she broke down the severity of Astryd's situation. She left out the gruesome details of her being abused, but D'Haven knew what was up. The whole time she talked, his eyes were trained on Astryd. Her entire demeanor was everything but calm. She was a nervous wreck and hadn't had a good night's sleep in almost a week.

  Her eyes were heavy with bags underneath, short hair a curly mess, and her skin wasn't glowing like it was the first day he saw her. In his brief observation, he knew right then that he was willing to do whatever necessary for her. When Honey was finished, she took a deep breath.

  "So, is it okay if she stays with you? I know it's a lot and you just came home, but you're the only option. The safest one anyway."

  "Yeah. You ready to go now?" he said with ease making Astryd snap her head in his direction.

  "Yes?"

  He nodded and walked over to her as tears filled her eyes. "Yes. Is that okay with you?"

  "Of course. I just don't want to be a burden to anyone is all. Are you sure?"

  "Positive, baby."

  Honey scratched her head. "Um, I'm sure I'm missing something here. Right?"

  D'Haven chuckled. "Nah nosy. You ain't."

  "Astryd…" Honey called out, and Astryd grinned softly.

  "We kinda have history together."

  "Wow. Okay. That's how y'all do me? When was someone going to tell me this?" she said, faking like she was hurt.

  "It wasn't much to tell honestly. It was a small crush, and then he went to jail," Astryd revealed.

  "So, you don't love a nigga anymore?" D'Haven said running a hand through her hair. "This cut is sexy on you. Fits your face."

  She shuddered under his touch and shook her head. "Please don't do that."

  "Do what?"

  "Run your hand through my hair like that."

  Hearing the seriousness in her voice, D'Haven removed his hand and stuffed it into his pants pocket. "Aight. Anything else I can't touch on you?"

  "Whew," Honey breathed out, reminding them they weren't alone. "Maybe this wasn't a bad idea after all. Y'all are well acquainted if you ask me."

  The duo chuckled at her silliness, but she had a point. Their chemistry was smooth and never forced. D'Haven paid attention to the small details of what Astryd was saying and what she wasn't. Like now, her eyes were gazing lazily into his but shined a little different at his question. She wanted him to touch her, but not in a sexual way. She wanted him to place his strong hands around her heart and pump warmth and life back into it. She'd openly accept his offer if he were willing.

  "You sure you're okay with us staying at your place?" Astryd asked again.

  "Pebbles," D'Haven sighed.

  "I'm sorry. I just—"

  "Don't apologize. I get it. You want to be one hundred percent sure that you are welcome in my home, right?"

  She nodded as he held her chin in his hand. "Yes."

  "As you should be. Y'all are safe with me, okay? Where y'all stuff at so I can take it to the car."

  Nodding her head toward the living room, D'Haven removed himself from her space but not before telling her he'd be back. The reassurance was everything she didn't know she needed to hear. Once he was out of the kitchen, Honey came and stood in front of her with her arms crossed.

  "Mhm. You got some explaining to do, missy," she sassed making Astryd giggle. "And look! The nigga even got you smiling. Y'all had sex?" she asked in a whisper.

  "Oh my gosh," Astryd laughed. "Will you hush?"

  "What!? I'm just saying, friend. I know
you, and I know D'Haven. I peeped how he was all on you at his party, but now I see why."

  "And, why is that?" Astryd asked, playing into her entertaining conversation.

  "You want some of that fresh out a jail dick, don't you?"

  The laugh that escaped Astryd's mouth was loud. She couldn't hold it in if she tried.

  "You've been hanging around Greigh too much. That's something she'd say."

  "It's the truth though. Am I wrong?" She asked, cocking her head to the side.

  "Mommy, we're leaving?" Ashlee asked, rushing into the kitchen.

  Astryd gave Honey a smirk and hopped down from the bar stool she was sitting at. When D'Haven walked back into the kitchen, he had a look on his face she couldn't quite read.

  "Yes, Pumpkin. Let me introduce you to who we'll be staying with."

  Facing D'Haven, Ashlee looked up at him with sparkling eyes and a smile. She was so in tune to her tablet, she didn't see him come into the living room and grab their bags, before hauling them to Astryd's car.

  "Ashlee, this is D'Haven, D'Haven this is Ashlee. The little one sleep in there is Ashlynn."

  Ashlee stuck her hand out. "Hi! I like your name," she said, grinning wide.

  D'Haven grinned back and Astryd damn near passed out. The simple gesture of him showing off his pearly whites had her reconsidering her stay with him.

  "I like your name too. Is it Pumpkin or Ashlee?" he joked.

  "It's both!" she laughed as Astryd shook her head. "Only Mommy can call me Pumpkin, though."

  "That's okay. Mommy has her own nickname, too," he said before shooting Astryd a smirk that solidified his nickname for her every time he was in her presence.

  Her nipples hardened behind the hoodie she was wearing and was grateful she had slipped it over her tank top right before he arrived. As he and Ashlee went back and forth sharing random conversation, her more so talking about the game on her tablet, Astryd felt a sense of peace come over her. She didn't know how long it would last, but she was going to cherish it for the time being.

  After Astryd used the restroom and made Ashlee and Ashlynn go as well, they headed toward her car. They gave Honey hugs and promises to see her later in the week before Astryd thanked her and typed in D'Haven's address into her GPS. Honey had an extra phone line through T-Mobile, and it came in handy. Astryd had a new number for the time being. She had yet to power on her phone, but she was able to contact her job and her Grammy.