A Little Bit Vampy

by A. A. Albright

  Cassandra nodded curtly. ‘Only a wizard can wield the Staff of Wrath. And unless they happen to be exceedingly powerful, then it would most certainly kill them after too much exposure. No doubt Vlad’s Boys are going through wizards quite quickly at the moment.’

  Dylan punched the table. ‘Those evil sons of witches! Good goddess! They’re killing people for this power they have. Cassandra, what can we do to stop them?’

  She gave Dylan a long, appraising look. ‘A man who won the Protection Trials is capable of many things, no doubt. But neither you, nor almost anyone around this table, could go head-to-head with the Staff of Wrath.’

  ‘Almost,’ said my mother. ‘You said “nor almost anyone” Cassandra. That means you think someone at this table is capable of fighting the Staff of Wrath.’

  Cassandra took up her tea, bringing the cup to her lips while she looked at Jared. ‘Jared, there was a reason you were able to help Aisling break the boundary spell just now.’

  ‘Yeah,’ he said, ‘and she’s called Melissa. Letting Ash channel our power was her idea.’

  ‘Aw shucks!’ Melissa grinned at him. ‘You’re very sweet, Jared. But my idea wouldn’t have worked if you hadn’t had the power to back it up. And what I think my granny might be saying is that my power – amazeballs though it is – was pretty much useless at the time. It was your connection to Aisling that gave her the power to break the magic.’

  ‘Connection?’ Dylan sat forward. ‘What’s this about a connection?’

  Cassandra rolled her eyes. ‘Perhaps save your jealousy for when we’re not all at death’s door, Detective Quinn. Melissa simply meant that she and Jared allowed your girlfriend to join hands with them in order to channel their vampire abilities. They wouldn’t have been able to break the Insitu spell any other way. And yes, Jared’s power was far more potent than yours in that situation, Melissa.’ She tousled her granddaughter’s hair. ‘Ronaldo is my equal, power-wise. But you and your sister, Jared, far surpass either of us. The staff was made with blood spilled by a powerful Montague. And if you and your sister – two even more powerful Montagues – channel that power into Aisling, then you might just be able to beat the Staff of Wrath.’

  ‘So we have a chance?’ my grandmother asked, finally joining the conversation. ‘With Aisling and Jared together, we have a chance to beat the power of the Staff of Wrath? We have the power to beat Vlad’s Boys?’

  Cassandra made some non-committal ums and ahs and eventually said, ‘Well, we’d need Pru as well, of course. With the three of them together – Aisling, Pru and Jared – it might just be possible. Highly unlikely, but possible.’

  ‘Laying aside the “highly unlikely” for the moment,’ I said. ‘Pru isn’t on our side. She’s firmly by Greg’s side now. After she turned him to save his life, he went a bit crazy. They’re both with Vlad’s Boys now.’

  Cassandra shook her head in horror. ‘Oh my stars! I’ve seen Pru’s mind in the past, Jared. I know of her prophecy. Whoever she or you turn will be more powerful than either of you. And if the person she turned has joined Vlad’s Boys then all I can say is … may the fates be with us. Forget everything I just said. Highly unlikely? No. No, it’s not even possible. I mean, think about it – how long did it take you to break the boundary spell today? And that was just one little spell.’

  ‘It took a while, I admit,’ I said. ‘But it won’t just be me tomorrow night, will it? There’ll be thousands of fae working together.’

  ‘No.’ Cassandra shook her head. ‘There won’t be. It’s not possible. For one thing, you’ll be fighting against Pru and an even more powerful Greg. For another thing, if Jared’s power is split between thousands of people, it’ll be too weak to fight off a cold, let alone the Staff of Wrath. He can give it to one person to direct, and one person only. And it has to be a person he has a strong connection with.’

  At yet another mention of mine and Jared’s connection, Dylan squeezed my hand tighter.

  ‘This is useless.’ Cassandra held her hands up. ‘I created something terrible, I know that. I wish I could tell you all how to beat it, but there’s just no way. In the few minutes it takes you to break the magic of the Staff of Wrath – if you can even break it at all, without Pru’s power to help you – then Vlad’s Boys could have killed all of your friends and family.’

  She was right, and we all knew it. But while it seemed like the rest of the table were about to sink into futility, my grandmother stood up, banging her bluebell on the table. Yes, she suddenly had a bluebell and no, I have no idea how she was able to bang it loud enough to make the whole room vibrate.

  ‘There has to be something we can do!’ she cried. ‘From what you’re saying, Cassandra, all of my people will die tomorrow night. And once that happens, there’ll be nothing standing between Vlad’s Boys and the next group of supernaturals they decide to target. The sióga are the ones who step in, time and time again, when witches go too far.’

  She grasped my father’s hand. ‘People like my son have helped save countless lives when witches lost the run of themselves.’ She shook her head, the noise of her hair swishing to and fro sounding like deep, warning bells. Her eyes shone a deep, deep green, and her body seemed to fill with white light. ‘No,’ she said. ‘I will not allow my people to die. We haven’t exhausted every avenue yet. There is one thing left that we can do. We can kill Gregariad.’

  19. With Friends Like Us

  ‘No.’ My dad shook his head. ‘We can’t do that, Mother. We never resort to murder. It goes against everything we are.’

  A tear streaked down my grandmother’s cheek. Like her body, it shone with white light, and when it fell to the table, it shattered. ‘I know that, Brian. I know that. But think about it. When Greg dies, everyone he compelled goes back to normal. Pru goes back to normal. And with Pru to aid Aisling and Jared, we can destroy the Staff of Wrath. We can save everyone. I don’t want to kill Greg. I like him a great deal. But it’s kill him, or let so many others die.’

  As a plan, it made perfect sense. And, at the moment, it was the only plan we had. And yet something about it felt so, so wrong. Maybe it was just because I loved the old, non-vampy Greg with all my heart, but whatever the reason, the thought of killing Greg made me break out in hives.

  ‘But we can’t kill him,’ I argued, scratching at my arms. ‘He might be Gregariad now, but he’s still Greg at heart. And how do we get to him, anyway? He’s in Darina’s mansion. They’ll have a gazillion wards and boundaries up against any last-ditch efforts we might make.’

  ‘Aisling’s right,’ said Dylan. ‘Darina isn’t stupid. She and the rest of Vlad’s Boys probably brought Greg over there so that we’d try the very thing we’re talking about. He could be there as a trap. And they have the advantage, so they will catch us. And just say they didn’t. Say we were lucky enough to sneak in there. How do we kill someone that powerful? He could compel us all before we ever crossed the threshold.’

  Everyone sank into silence, the kind of silence that seemed like it might never have an end. Finally, there was a loud, ‘Ahem,’ from the other end of the table. I turned to see Malachy, standing up and looking terrified.

  ‘You might have noticed that all of my restaurant staff are outside this room, enjoying Your Majesty’s generosity,’ he said. ‘And they’re here because this is the safest place for them to be. I was afraid that if they stayed behind, they would have been either compelled or – more likely – killed.’

  Dylan frowned. ‘Compelled I get – it seems like Vlad’s Boys are compelling every vamp who disagrees with them. But why would they be killed?’

  Malachy sat down again, twiddling his thumbs. ‘Well, the thing is, Vlad’s Boys sort of asked me to cater for a huge party they’re having tonight. And I sort of said yes.’ He held his hands up. ‘I never had any intention of going through with it. No one who works in my restaurant agrees with what Vlad’s Boys are doing. I thought it’d be funny to say I’d do it and then not show up. My staff
agreed with me, as long as I took them here for asylum. Because I don’t think I have to tell you how annoyed Vlad’s Boys will get when we’re a no show. If we were anywhere but here, they would be murdering us.’

  ‘That’s really brave, Malachy,’ said Jared. ‘And also a little bit stupid. None of us would have thought any the worse of you for catering the party.’

  ‘That’s what I said.’ Brent patted Malachy’s hand. ‘But my stubborn boyfriend just had to go and stick two fingers up at Vlad’s Boys before coming here.’

  I looked carefully at Malachy. He wasn’t just telling us this for the fun of it. He had an idea. ‘You want to go anyway, don’t you?’ I said. ‘You want to go and cater that party, and you want to kill Greg while you’re there.’

  He looked worriedly around the room. ‘I don’t want to kill Greg. But I’m with the Queen on this – if killing him means saving countless lives and ending all of this, then I’ll do it.’

  ‘That’s admirable, my love,’ said Brent. ‘But it’s not possible. Greg would have you compelled in an instant. Or worse. And you told me yourself that the whole house is warded against poisons, so even if there were something you could slip in his blood, it’d be spotted straight away.’

  ‘I could stake him then,’ said Malachy. ‘One of the fae could find a way to shroud a weapon, and I could take him by surprise.’‘

  ‘Malachy,’ Brent said softly. ‘I love the bones of you, but you’re not good under pressure.’

  ‘Not true!’ Malachy protested. ‘I worked for Grace for years. If that’s not pressure, I don’t know what is.’ He looked ruefully at Grace. ‘Sorry.’

  ‘That’s fine. It’s true – I am a hard woman to work for. And you did an admirable job but … this is different, Malachy. This is murder, and you don’t have a bad bone in your body. But maybe it isn’t such a bad idea, just … not with you involved. Maybe someone could take your place. Use a doppelganger or a glamour? What do you think, Your Majesty?’

  The Queen of the Fae shook her head. ‘My people have been testing things at the mansion. No spells of that nature will be able to enter the building.’

  ‘Well then,’ I said with relief. ‘That’s that plan buggered, isn’t it? Anyone who tries to get into Darina’s mansion will be spotted in a heartbeat. So let’s move onto more suggestions.’ Suggestions, I didn’t add, that left Greg in one piece.

  ‘Actually, they won’t necessarily spot us,’ said my grandmother. ‘Not if we use a Púca transformation spell. We won’t just look like whoever we’re posing as. We’ll have the same blood, fingerprints, DNA …’

  Dagnammit. She’d thought of everything. But I was a persistent woman. I could find a flaw in this plan. Maybe even a better plan. My eyes widened. I really could find a better plan.

  ‘Hang on a minute,’ I said excitedly. ‘We’re all jumping the gun here, don’t you think? If we can sneak into the mansion, then why not just turn Greg back into his non-vampy self instead of, y’know, wiping him off the face of the planet? We can slip some sióga blood into his drink. As soon as he swallows it he’ll start to change back into our friend again.’

  While I relaxed into my chair, feeling satisfied that I’d just solved the problem, my grandmother gave me a sad, sad stare. ‘The sióga blood would be detected immediately. Aisling,’ she said. ‘Don’t you think I haven’t considered every angle of this? The second the curative blood hits Greg’s goblet, an alarm will be triggered.’

  ‘It’s true,’ Malachy confirmed. ‘When they booked me to cater, they took great delight in telling me all of the security measures they had in place. There are wards against sióga blood as well as any poisons.’

  ‘Well then …’ I searched my mind for a better suggestion. ‘The Staff of Wrath. That’ll probably be in the mansion. If that could be stolen before tomorrow night, then–’

  My dad shook his head. ‘It can’t. They have it shrouded, Aisling. We can’t find any sign of where they’ve got it right now. I wish we could find it and destroy it and end all of this, but we can’t.’

  Criminy, anyway! My brain was beginning to hurt from all of this desperate scrambling for excuses. ‘Well I … I still don’t think anyone will be able to take Greg by surprise long enough to stake him, and seeing as we can’t poison him or cure him, then surely it’s either that or lop his head off.’

  ‘You’re right,’ my grandmother agreed. ‘With Greg’s level of power, staking him or decapitating him would be impossible. But there is something. A poison that can, effectively, act as a stake through a vampire’s heart. It’s a powder known as Shake and Stake, and there is no spell or ward which can detect this particular poison. I have a tiny amount of it, just enough to kill one, single vampire. And someone fae must administer it. There’s a musical note which activates it, a note that only one of us can sing. It needs to be done within a minute of the powder being added to liquid.’

  She hardened her jaw. ‘And as I’m the one who suggested killing poor Greg, then I shall be the one to do it.’ She looked at Jared. ‘And you shall accompany me. You’ll be taking Malachy’s place, and I shall take the part of one of his waitresses.’

  ‘Whoa there.’ Jared sat up straight in his chair, his eyes filled with panic. ‘Look, I know I’ve said some pretty foul things about Greg recently, seeing as he compelled my sister and all. But … I can’t actually kill him. I love him like a brother. I’m with Ash on this. There has to be another way. And if you don’t think so, then you’ll have to get one of your sióga or Púca spies to take Malachy’s place.’

  The Queen smiled sadly. ‘I know this is difficult Jared, but it has to be you. Whoever takes Malachy’s place will have to be able to cook as well as he can.’

  ‘I’ll do it,’ said Dylan darkly. ‘I mean, I don’t want to. According to Pru’s prophecy, I could have been the one in Greg’s place right now. But this needs to end. I’m just as good a chef as Jared. I’ll go with the Queen.’

  ‘You’re a great cook.’ I patted Dylan’s hand. ‘But there’ll be a lot of vampire guests at this party. And you only ate the bare necessities when you were a vampire. You definitely didn’t get into the cuisine. It needs to be someone who’s not only a good cook, but who’s also skilled at vampire cooking.’

  All eyes turned to Jared. ‘All right,’ he said reluctantly. ‘I don’t want to do it but … I will. I’ll pose as Malachy. I’ll do the cooking while you kill my best friend, Your Majesty.’

  I found myself blinking in shock, unable to focus on the room around me. It seemed like it was decided. In order to save the world, we would have to kill Greg. A person who, until recently, had been someone I would have trusted with my life. Suddenly, all I could think of was his bouncy walk, his enthusiasm for snacking, his genius inventions, his warm, friendly smile …

  If the situation were reversed, Greg would find another way. I knew that the real Greg, the one who wasn’t even a little bit vampy, would never consider killing one of his friends. And yet here we were, his nearest and dearest, plotting his murder. With friends like us, who needed enemies?

  My mind and heart began to race in a frantic rhythm. I needed to stall for time, that’s what I needed to do. I didn’t want anyone else to get hurt at Gregariad’s hands, but didn’t I at least owe it to him to give this a little more thought? I needed a flash of inspiration, the sort that usually only came to me at the very last minute. And for that to happen, maybe I ought to be with Greg at that last minute.

  ‘No!’ I cried out, standing up. ‘It can’t be you, Granny. If anyone’s going to kill Greg, then it’ll be me. I’ll do it. I’ll go with Jared. You can teach me the note to sing, Granny, and I’ll activate the Shake and Stake potion.’

  My grandmother cocked her head to the side and scrutinised me. There was a glint in her eyes – an extremely irritating glint that made me wonder: had she wanted me to go all along? ‘Fine. It’s decided. Let’s go and get you both ready.’

  20. Shake and Stake

  The
Púca who transformed us was Wendy, the woman who ran the Glittering Garden. With her pointed teeth flashing, she’d simply waved a hand and turned Jared into Malachy’s double. No potions, no incantations, just a simple wave of her hand. It was a little bit amazing.

  Malachy had reported that Vlad’s Boys had asked for his hostess, a leggy red-haired vampire called Esmerelda, to greet the guests during the party. I would be going as her, while some more sióga and Púca took the place of other staff members. Yet more of my grandmother’s people would be posted outside the mansion, ready to step in should things go awry.

  We had a little time with the restaurant staff, so that we could learn about them and take note of their accents, inflections and movements. Thanks to the Púca magic, a lot of that should come naturally (even some of their memories would be accessible to us), but we practised it nonetheless.

  As my fae power had grown, so had my resistance to vampire compulsion. But Wendy warned me that, while I was Esmerelda, it would be a little more difficult to remain in control.

  ‘You’ll have to constantly find yourself, again and again,’ Wendy explained. ‘Remind yourself that, even though your body is temporarily a vampire, you’re still you. I’d really rather someone more experienced was killing Greg, you know. A Púca – like me, for example – would really be best for the assassination, in my humble opinion.’

  I gave her a tight smile. ‘Why is it that when people say “in my humble opinion” they’re actually being anything but humble? No one’s assassinating Greg. If it has to be done, then it’ll be a mercy killing, and no one is doing that but me. End of discussion.’

  Wendy looked like she was about to argue further, but right now I was in the mood to argue with a wall. I arched a brow, looked her up and down and said, ‘Well then? Don’t you have other people to change with your awesome Púca magic?’

  A little while later we headed to the mansion. At the same time, my parents and Dylan headed off to find Felim. The old wizard had been tracking Mark long enough. If Felim didn’t come to the sióga realm soon, he might well find himself being tracked by Vlad’s Boys. They’d used him before, and if they needed a steady stream of powerful wizards to wield the Staff of Wrath, I was terrified that they might use him again.