My Sweet Girl

by Amanda Jayatissa

  “How long have I been in here?”

  “The whole day.”

  “Why?”

  “We had to give you some medicine, Paloma.”

  “Am I sick?”

  “No, child.” She stopped talking for a moment and closed her eyes. I could see her throat move as she swallowed, and her double chin quivered a little. She opened her eyes again and looked directly at me, pressing her lips together again.

  “Do you remember what happened, Paloma?”

  “I was attacked. Miss Chandra, I—I think it was, well, some sort of woman. A monster.” My voice trembled as I spoke. Even here, in the sickroom, I could still feel her on me. Breathing down my neck. Biting down on my face.

  But Miss Chandra just smiled.

  “It’s easy to get confused, dear. You’ve been through so much. Mohini is just a story you girls made up. Shanika was the one who attacked you.”

  I felt so confused. What was Miss Chandra saying? Everything around me was starting to feel unsteady again. I wanted to cry.

  “Now, now, child. Don’t be upset.”

  “I’m so scared, Miss. I don’t know what to do.”

  “I know, Paloma. You just relax. You need to get some rest.”

  I nodded through my tears. I was starting to feel really, really tired.

  “That’s a good girl.” Miss Chandra started stroking my hair. “Now you sleep a little more. You’ll feel better by evening.”

  My eyelids felt heavy. She must be right.

  41

  SAN FRANCISCO, CA

  OFFICER KELLER MET ME out front and took me into the morgue right away. I couldn’t stop shaking, so he asked me if I would like a coffee, as if it made perfect sense to be sipping on a fucking latte when I was surrounded by bodies of murder victims.

  The body had been found in the bay, he said, though the blunt-force trauma to the back of the head ruled out drowning as the cause of death. It was most likely the way the murderer tried to dispose of the body. He was so matter-of-fact about the whole thing he might as well have been discussing his taxes.

  And then they took me into where the body was being held, and I did everything I could to choke back a scream. It was Arun. An Arun whose face was so contorted and bloated that I had to look at him for a few moments longer than I had hoped. Whose lips that once curled into a sneer as he blackmailed me were now shriveled and grey.

  And then I asked to be excused, and hurried to the bathroom and threw up.

  Officer Keller was waiting for me with a bottle of water when I came out.

  “You all right?” he asked. He wasn’t unkind.

  “Yes. Sorry. My first time.”

  “Sure. And let’s hope it’s the last, huh?”

  That was for certain.

  I took a deep breath. I should be relieved. My secret was safe. I wasn’t hallucinating.

  But that meant—what about Ida?

  Was Sam behind all of this?

  “Officer Keller, I need to speak with you.” Maybe now he would take me seriously. “Have you got any information about my neighbor, Ida Mulligan?”

  He gave me a small smile. “Her sister called it in. We’ve put out an alert and are on the lookout, though we don’t really have any leads. Do you know who might have seen her last?” I thought back to the white business card I found on her counter. Surely that couldn’t have had anything to do with her going missing?

  “I’m not sure, Officer.”

  “Well, I’ll keep you posted, then. And, Paloma?”

  “Yes?”

  “Keep your phone on you. We’ll need you to come in for questioning again, now that we have a body.”

  Need me? Hang on, was I a damn suspect now? I needed to tell them about Sam. I couldn’t have them think it was me.

  “Th-there’s something else.”

  “Yes?”

  “Arun’s friend. Sam. I think he might have something to do with—something to do with this.” I gestured back in the direction of where we saw the body.

  Officer Keller looked serious.

  “What makes you say that?”

  “Well, h-he kept showing up to speak to me. And he lied, about working at the Curry Palace.”

  “Anything else?”

  “Um, I—I don’t know. I just, well, I think he might be involved.”

  “Okay, I’ll have someone take down his details.”

  He seemed more serious this time, like he actually might believe me. I mean, I was fucking right. Arun was dead. Even though there was a part of me that wished I had been wrong.

  “You’ll keep me posted?”

  Officer Keller narrowed his eyes.

  “Just keep your phone on you,” he said.

  * * *

  • • •

  IT WAS LATE AFTERNOON by the time I collapsed into the taxi and buckled my seat belt. We hadn’t been driving two minutes when I dozed off, and only woke up again when the car pulled up to my parents’ house.

  I hadn’t left any lights on before I rushed out, obviously, and the darkened windows felt lonely. A call from Mr. Williams popped up on my screen.

  Fuck him.

  I instinctively looked down the street for a blue Camry, and then across from my house to see if Appy was watching me.

  Fuck him. Fuck Nina. Fuck Appy and Gavin and my parents and Arun. Fuck everyone.

  If I’d slept with a murderer, then facing Mr. Williams wouldn’t be the scariest thing I’ve done.

  I let the call go to voice mail, and opened up my texts.

  If you want to meet, then let’s meet, I keyed in. Tomorrow morning, 10 a.m. Come to my parents’. I trust you know the address.

  My dad had bought me a stock of pepper spray when I was sixteen. I wondered if the box was still in my closet.

  I let myself in and walked through the house, turning on every light I could find. I made sure the front door was locked, and managed to rummage the pepper spray from my closet. I tucked it into my pocket, plugged in my phone to charge, then poured myself a healthy two fingers of whiskey and sat down on the couch, nestling the cold glass on my head, which throbbed like someone was pounding it with a mallet. You would need a healthy two fingers, too, if you just had sex with the guy who murdered your roommate.

  I turned on the Disney Channel. Yes, the fucking Disney Channel because I needed all the goddamned comfort I could get right now. I thought about ordering a pizza but must have dozed off again.

  All I knew was that something woke me up a little bit later. My head still hurt. I hit the mute button and looked around the living room. Nothing out of the ordinary. Maybe it was just something on TV? I heard it again, a soft rapping. It was coming from the kitchen. What the actual fuck?

  Every hair on my body prickling, I slowly made my way over to the noise, brandishing the pepper spray in front of me.

  Rap rap rap.

  There it was again.

  I took a deep breath and stepped in.

  The kitchen was empty. Of course it fucking was.

  I looked under the table, just to make sure. Nothing.

  I even opened the cabinets under the sink. Nothing.

  Rap rap rap.

  The window.

  I inched my way over, wishing I hadn’t had that glass of whiskey. Or maybe I was shaking so much because I was fucking scared out of my mind.

  I held my breath and pulled aside the lacy curtain. Nothing.

  Exhaling slowly, I peered into the now darkened street. I grabbed a glass and turned on the faucet. I glanced up at the window again, and the glass slipped from my hand, shattering into the sink. There was a face. A woman’s face. Pale as death.

  Mohini. She was here. She was finally here for me.

  But it’s wasn’t her. Of course it fucking wasn’t.

 
It was the woman across the street. Her hair was wild and her eyes were wide and glassy. She put a finger to her lips, not blinking, not even once.

  Holy fuck. I gasped as I stepped away from the window. I’d seriously had enough of this creepy bitch. I burst out through the front door and into the street. She needed to be told to get lost.

  “Hey!” I called. It was dark and I couldn’t quite see her yet. “Hey, what the hell is wrong with you?” But the small patch of yard we had leading up to the kitchen window was empty. What the hell? I wish I had grabbed my phone so I could use the flashlight.

  I saw some movement over from her house. Maybe she managed to run across and get inside. I crossed the street. She was going to get a piece of my mind, and it was going to happen today. I was fed up with her sneaking around, acting like a weirdo, freaking me out. Who the hell behaved like that anyway?

  Her lights were turned off, and the inside of the house was dark as well. She was probably hiding, the dumb bitch. Well, she couldn’t fool me. I stomped up to her porch and rang the doorbell. No answer, of course. I rang it again, three times. Then I banged on the door.

  “I know you’re in here, Aparna,” I called out. I tried peering through the window but the curtains were drawn. I thought I heard a muffled bang from inside. Maybe she had knocked something over. I rapped on the window. It rattled loudly, but still no answer.

  I turned back to try the doorbell again when I crashed into someone. They grabbed my arm, hard.

  “Fuck,” I cried out, yanking my arm back.

  “Hey. Hey, it’s just me.” It was Gloria.

  “What are you doing here?” My voice was rough, but I didn’t care too much.

  “I didn’t mean to scare you. Lo siento. Sorry. Sorry.” Snowy was cowering behind her. My yell probably freaked him out, but I didn’t care.

  “Did you see her?”

  “Who?”

  “Aparna. Appy.”

  “N-no?”

  “Well, I need to talk to her. Right now, I need to talk to her.”

  “Paloma, what’s happening?”

  “She’s fucking crazy. And she’s driving me crazy. That’s what’s happening.”

  “Hey, maybe we should go back home, huh?”

  “What? Didn’t you hear me?”

  “Paloma, I asked around about the lady.” She dropped her voice to an urgent whisper. “She’s not, you know, she’s not okay.”

  “I don’t give a rat’s ass. She needs to leave me the fuck alone.”

  “Paloma, please. Let’s go back inside. It’s not worth it.”

  “But she’s in here. Why the hell isn’t she opening the door for me, huh?”

  “Paloma, she lost her baby. It was just a few months ago. She hasn’t been quite right in the head since. Her husband told me. He apologized to me today. Her medicine, it makes her act strange.” Gloria grabbed my arm again, but more gently this time. “Please?”

  I didn’t want to, but I relented. I was exhausted. I was exhausted from worrying, from pretending, from mourning. I let Gloria lead me back home and into my living room, where I collapsed onto my sofa and held my head in my hands.

  “Rough day?”

  “You have no idea.”

  “I spoke to Gavin. The lady’s husband. He told me about your parents. I’m so sorry. I had no idea . . .”

  “I wasn’t trying to hide it, you know.”

  “I know. I know what it’s like. To be alone.”

  “You do?”

  “Growing up, I only had my sister, but then—it was the worst day of my life.”

  “I’m sorry.” I was. I’m such a selfish asshole sometimes. Of course I’m not the first person to have lost their parents.

  She smiled sadly. Her pink hair was more muted in the dark. It suited her. “It was a long time ago. I just wanted to let you know that I know how it feels.”

  “It’s just, really hard, you know. I’m not very good at opening up. Nina, that’s my therapist, she says I need to try to build better relationships with people. Be more honest. But it’s the hardest thing.”

  “I know exactly what you mean. You know, you remind me a lot of myself.”

  “I feel bad for you, then. I don’t think you realize how fucked up I actually am.”

  Gloria smiled and stood up. “You got anything to drink in this place? I think we both need it.”

  Maybe we were more alike than I thought.

  “Cabinet to the left of the sink.”

  I heard her rummaging around in the kitchen.

  My phone lit up. I had a voice mail from Sam. He sounded upset—

  Paloma, please call me back. It’s urgent. There seems to have been some sort of misunderstanding. Please, just, call me.

  Did the police have him, then? God, I hoped so. I started to shiver again. If they hadn’t taken him in, he could be anywhere. Oh shit, what if he decided to come here tonight? At least Gloria was with me. Maybe I should call Officer Keller again.

  My phone beeped just as I was about to pull up his number.

  It was from Mr. Williams.

  Glad to hear from you, Paloma. I’ll see you soon.

  Good. That was one thing I could actually deal with.

  I needed to stop being a whiny bitch about it. The poor guy was just trying to do his job as my parents’ lawyer. The job my parents had hired him to do in the event of their “untimely demise” as they always joked. Except it ended up not being a joke. My chest burned thinking about them. He didn’t deserve to be called a stalker, just because I didn’t have the stomach to face him and settle my parents’ estate. Because to finalize everything would be to accept that they had died.

  He must have been in contact with Ida to get through to me. Maybe he even knew more about what happened to her.

  I’d speak to Mr. Williams, and then, after we cleared things up, I’d get his signature and the bank would release the hold on my joint account. I’d put my parents’ house on the market. Get my own place. One I don’t have to share with a roommate. Maybe I’d even move out of the Bay Area. Somewhere I can start fresh and make some new memories. Make some new friends. Real ones. I could even find a boyfriend who’s not a psycho murderer. I think it’s time for me to move on with my life.

  Gloria showed up with two glasses. She’d mixed in some orange juice with the scotch.

  I took a deep sip, waiting for the alcohol to course comfortably through me. It was sharp, acidic, and just what I needed.

  Everything was starting to swim around. Surely I couldn’t have gotten this tired so quickly?

  Shadows from the corners of the room were starting to creep up to me. I tried to stand up, but Gloria put a hand on my shoulder and pushed me down. I sank back heavily. The last thing I saw was her, smiling, as the darkness finally washed over me.

  42

  RATMALANA, SRI LANKA

  I’VE READ ALL ABOUT moors. I mean, the moors are basically a character of their own in Wuthering Heights. Miss Sarah says that the moors are a symbol. Relentless, wild, never ending. The moors represent different things to different characters, she would say.

  Of course, you don’t get moors in Ratmalana, so I’ve never seen one. But what the moors were to Catherine, the ocean was to me—something to get lost in. I dreamed of an ocean, or maybe it was a moor. It rose and fell, a magnificent beast, inhaling and exhaling as Heathcliff, or was it Lihini, called out to me. I had to leave it, my never-ending peace, but wading back to shore was hard. I swam as hard as I could, and then, just when I thought my lungs and my heart would burst, I broke the surface and the biggest wave crashed down on me. I had been attacked. Mohini had attacked me.

  It was enough to force the last of the fog out of my mind and sit up in bed. I felt weak. Like I hadn’t eaten in days. Like the floor was dropping under my feet as I crossed over to the small bathroom tha
t was attached to the sickroom.

  I was wrapped up like a mummy—one side of my face completely covered. The bandages felt itchy against my skin. I tugged a small bit aside. I couldn’t really see what had happened.

  Miss Chandra said it was Shanika who bit me, but that couldn’t be true.

  I started to unwrap the bandages. I had to see for myself.

  My eyes watered as I peeled the gauze off the wounds on my face. It stung so much that it took me a minute to see myself clearly. I immediately wished I hadn’t. It didn’t look like a girl had bitten me. It looked like a monster tried to have me for dinner.

  Two crescents, like inside-out brackets oozing with blood, marked my right cheek, starting from under my eye all the way down to my jaw. The flesh around the wound was jagged and torn. A piece of skin flapped sadly. There were blue and purple and dark red marks around the rest of my face. Some cuts also. I’m pretty sure my whole right side was swollen. And it hurt.

  I tried to put the bandages back on but it started to smart, so I just let it be. I looked like a monster myself. I hoped the scars wouldn’t show too much. I might scare the Evanses if they saw me like this.

  My body went cold.

  What if they changed their minds after seeing me? What if they decided not to adopt me after all? What if I got sent to St. Margaret’s instead?

  I needed to get out of the sickroom. I needed to speak to Lihini. She would know what to do. She would stroke my hair and calm me down and tell me not to worry. It was dark. I could probably make my way to the dormitory and wake her up.

  I padded over to the door. I know I wasn’t supposed to leave, but I really needed to see her right away.

  I pressed my ear against the door and listened. There was no one outside. I tried the handle. It was locked.

  The panic that crashed over me was sudden and sharp. The sickroom door was never locked.

  “Don’t be scared. Don’t be scared. Don’t be scared.” I kept repeating the words, over and over. It was probably just a mistake. Miss Chandra probably did it by mistake. It had to be some kind of mistake.