Sing With Me: A With Me In Seattle Universe Novel

by Anna Edwards

  “Thank you all for being here today. I have a few short words I want to say. Ten years ago I lost my sister. It has been public knowledge for many years, but what has never been disclosed is how she died. I was fifteen years old and had just finished band practice with these guys. We were together even then. I went into my family home, searching for my sister. She was twenty at the time and was looking after me while my parents were at a function. When I entered her bedroom, it became apparent something was wrong. My sister was unresponsive.” Tate pauses.

  I reach out and hold his hand to reassure him. Several cameras go off, taking a picture of the gesture.

  He continues, “I called the paramedics and watched as they tried in vain to save her life. She’d taken an overdose of heroin. As a family, we mourned my sister but buried the truth about what happened to protect the precious memories we had. It was the wrong thing to do. Heidi died because of an addiction. It was a disgusting habit, and we weren’t fully aware of how under its spell she was until it was too late. It was a terrible waste of a life. She’d been a loving and caring sister growing up, and I’ll never forget the good times with her, or how protective of me she was as her baby brother.” Tate’s voice cracks, and I squeeze his hand while Cameron, who’s on the other side of him, reaches out and wraps his arm around Tate’s shoulders.

  “Sorry,” Tate apologizes to the audience in front of us. “It’s ten years, but sometimes it’s still very raw.” He takes a deep breath and returns to reading his statement. “I don’t want my sister’s death to be in vain. I’ve suppressed what happened for so long now, but that is about to change. Together, the band members of Saving Tate are going to fight against the evil of drugs. I don’t know the form that fight will take yet, but I hope you’ll join us in our war. Thank you.”

  Tate finishes his statement, folds the piece of paper with his speech on, and places it down in front of him.

  “The band will now take a few questions.” My own voice is heavily laced with the emotion I’m feeling.

  A few people put up their hands, and I’m relieved when Cameron begins to direct the questions while I briefly tune out to give Tate the comfort and support he needs. Eventually though, the question we’ve been dreading arrives.

  “Mr. Gordon, there were pictures of you and your publicist, Miss Danson, together in Barcelona, you appeared to be kissing. Is there a relationship going on between you?”

  We’d refused to answer questions on this topic during the interview with the gossip magazine. We were still in the process of agreeing what would be said with my boss, Fred, and Leo Nash. They’ve both been incredibly supportive, which has surprised me no end. I was fully expecting to be fired for misconduct. Now everything is sorted, so Tate and I agreed if the question came up, we would answer it.

  “Interesting question and not really related to the topic of the press conference,” Tate replies. “But I’ll answer it anyway. Yes, Miss Danson and I are in a relationship. It’s at an early stage, but it’s serious for both of us. She’s an exceptional publicist, and what’s going on between the two of us will not affect her ability to work for the band. That is all I have to say on the matter.”

  “Miss Danson, do you concur with Mr. Gordon’s statement?” The journalist turns the question to me. I hesitate at first but find my confidence.

  “I do. Mr. Gordon is a wonderful man, and I’m enjoying getting to know him better. Thank you.”

  “Plus, they’re enjoying having sex all the time,” Austin pipes up to lighten the mood of the conference.

  “Seriously, dude.” Tate shakes his head,

  “Like bunny rabbits,” Cameron adds with a mischievous chuckle.

  “Knuckleheads, you’re just jealous.” Tate sits back proudly, and for the first time since I sat down at the table, I feel relaxed.

  I lean into my mike.

  “As you can see, our relationship is causing no issues within the band. In fact, they’re being just as annoying to each other as usual. Thank you. That will be all for now. The band has a concert to prepare for.”

  Liam raises his hand in the air and makes the sound of a whip.

  “Best publicist ever, and the bossiest,” he says into the mike, and everyone starts laughing.

  We all get up from our seats and file out of the press room.

  “Thanks, guys.” Tate slaps his bandmates on the back. “It was getting a bit serious in there. I’m glad you lightened the mood.”

  “Always.” Cameron looks proud of himself and stops to be handed his guitar by a roadie.

  “It’s going to be so easy teasing you both all the time. I love it,” Austin adds, picking up his guitar to check on it.

  “I’m not sure if I have the best or the worst job in the world.” I shake my head in frustration.

  Tate comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. As he presses into me, I can feel a hardness in his jeans.

  “I think it’s the best job, especially now I can touch you whenever I want and not have to worry about the press finding out.”

  I muse on his words. “I think I agree with that.”

  “Go and prepare for the concert, you lot. I want it to be as good as the one in Barcelona.”

  “Bossy.” Austin rolls his eyes at me.

  “Can I have a word with you in private for a moment?” Tate whispers into my ear.

  “Of course.” I turn to face him but am surprised when he pulls me quickly through the corridors of the backstage and into a room marked ‘Private’. There is a lock on the door, and he turns it so no one else can come in.

  “The press conference was stressful for the most part, but when I confirmed I was dating you to everyone, I got as hard as nails. I think I’ve turned into a sex freak. Confirming you’re mine to the whole world was like the best aphrodisiac.”

  Tate presses his lips to mine and pushes me back against the opposite wall from the door. The room is dark except for a small light with a low wattage bulb.

  “I need something, Zoey, please. I’ll make it up to you later. I don’t have time to give you the world right now, but please suck me off, or I’m going to be on stage with the hardest erection ever, and it’s going to show and be headline news tomorrow, and then you’ll have to deal with the press fall out from it, and then I’ll not see you, and then I won’t be able to give you lots of orgasms when we travel to Paris, the city of love.”

  I fake shock and surprise.

  “Oh, Tate, my darling. You need to take a breath…that was such a long plea. You must be in so much discomfort. Of course, I’ll help you.”

  My playful lover winks at me mischievously as I slide down onto my knees in front of him. I lower the zipper on his jeans and carefully pull his hard cock out. He’s right. He is painfully aroused. I adore the way that naming me as his has affected him. I’m pretty certain I’m a little wet down below at the thought as well. I know he doesn’t have the time to bring me to orgasm, but the excitement of getting him off is all I need.

  Wrapping my tongue around his long shaft, I lick up and down the length.

  Tate rolls his head back and groans in pleasure.

  “So good.”

  I’ve never done this to a guy before, and it feels a little nerve-racking, but I watch what Tate seems to enjoy and repeat it. Opening my mouth wider, I slide it over his dick. It stretches the corners of my lips, and when he hits the back of my throat, I gag a little. Saliva drips down my chin. It’s dirty—it’s erotic, and I feel like a goddess, pleasing the man I love.

  Love.

  Shit.

  It hits me.

  I love Tate Gordon.

  I look up at Tate, and he shifts his head so he can look down at me.

  “Mine,” he states flatly.

  “Forever,” I answer.

  My eyes never leave Tate’s as I move my mouth faster and faster up and down his cock. He watches me the entire time as well. His pupils fill his eyes with their blackness. He’s completely under my power at this
moment. Reaching forward he wraps his hand around my blonde ponytail and guides my movement. He fucks my mouth harder, and I take everything he gives me.

  “I’m going to come.” Tate warns me and prepares to remove his cock. Instead, I move closer, burying him deeper. I feel the first spurt of his hot cum hit the back of my throat, and I swallow it down. It’s salty and pure man. I savor it, knowing only Tate will ever give me this experience. When he finishes coming, I release him from my mouth and wipe away the wetness from my chin. Tate helps me to my feet before tucking himself back in his jeans.

  “I think I saw stars.”

  “I saw a handsome man letting go. It was the single best experience of my life.”

  “I’ll make sure I give you a lot more experiences like that after the concert.”

  A knock comes at the door followed by rude comments and sucking noises—the rest of the band members have arrived.

  “Stop fucking, we need to go be rock stars.” Cameron moans.

  “They can’t be fucking in there. There wasn’t enough time.” Liam sounds perplexed.

  “All right, Zoey, stop giving Tate head. His legs won’t work, and then you’ll have to do a press release explaining you sucked him off before he went on stage,” Cameron jokes.

  “Do you think she swallows?” Austin adds.

  Tate opens the door as I adjust my ponytail that he’s left it in a mess.

  “Enough,” Tate admonishes his friends.

  I place my hand on his shoulder and smirk.

  “Whether I swallow or not is on a need to know basis, Austin. Now get on stage for sound checks the lot of you.”

  Chapter 24

  Tate

  #IDidntKnowASongCouldBeSoFreeing

  “Here, take this.” Zoey hands each band member a piece of paper. “Start putting music to these lyrics. You’ve still got a few hours before tonight’s concert, and I think you should play this.”

  When I look down at the paper, I recognize the words instantly. It’s the song I wrote for Heidi and ripped to pieces. Zoey’s taped it all together and photocopied it.

  Liam, Austin, and Cameron all look at me, their eyebrows raised in either shock or horror at Zoey’s demand. They remain quiet, though, as they search me for a reaction.

  “I tore this up,” I finally respond.

  “I know, and I saved every last piece. I couldn’t let you waste this song. It’s beautiful.” Zoey perches on the arm of the chair I’m sitting on. She bites her lip, suddenly nervous at her actions. “I hope you’re okay with me doing this. The words are beautiful, Tate. I really think you should share them with the world. I’m in love with what’s written here, and I want to hear those words with music.”

  I place the paper down in my lap and pull her face to mine for a kiss.

  “Thank you. I tried to re-write this again the other day, but it didn’t come out anywhere near as good. I wasn’t caught up in the emotion anymore. I’m glad you saved it. I don’t know if I’ll be able to sing it, but I’m happy I get the chance to try.”

  Zoey kisses me again. “Phew, I was nervous about giving it to you. I even spoke to Leo about it. He said to give you the option. Well, he actually told me to tell you it’s the best fucking song you’ve ever written, and if you don’t sing it, he’ll kick your ass all the way back to Seattle.”

  I let out a chuckle. “Sounds about right for him.”

  I turn to the rest of the band. “What do you think? We have a few hours. Do you think we can get this sorted?”

  They look at each other before Cameron responds, “How do you hear it? Hardcore or a ballad.”

  “The latter, does that matter?”

  “No, I’ve been working on a riff the last few days, and I think it’ll work perfectly.”

  For the next few hours, the guys and I work hard at putting my lyrics to music. By the end of it, I’m exhausted but elated that I’ll get a chance to perform this for my sister. I know in many respects her death features in a lot of my songs. However, this is the first song that will be recognizable as fully about her. It’s going to be hard to sing.

  We all run through our pre-stage routines. Mine involves drinking a beer to calm the nerves and spending a good ten minutes in the bathroom. I close inward on myself as I think about singing the song. It churns in my gut, and I find it difficult to eat my usual big bowl of pasta. I force it down, though, knowing I’ll need the carbohydrates to perform. The last thing we want is for me to pass out with my exertions on stage. Zoey doesn’t need to deal with that sort of publicity.

  “Are you all right?” My lover approaches me nervously as we all stand beside the stage, waiting for the roadies to adjust the equipment after the opening support act.

  I pull her into my arms and kiss the top of her head.

  “Nervous for the first time ever but I’m glad you and Leo forced me to do this.”

  “More Leo with the forcing, I think he really would have kicked your ass if you’d said no.”

  “Probably.” I laugh and kiss Zoey again. “Will you stay by the stage while I sing it? Don’t leave. I want to know you’re there.”

  “I won’t go anywhere.” She stamps her feet. “See feet planted firmly.”

  “God, I love you.”

  We both fall silent at my words before Zoey responds.

  “I love you too. Now go kick ass and give me an easy night of publicity. I want to get you into bed as soon as I can.”

  “I couldn’t agree more.”

  I kiss her one more time before the guys and I walk onto the stage and perform our first couple of songs. These are the ones the fans know best and are guaranteed to get them going with excitement. The German crowds are always good for rocking out. They are free-spirited, which seems odd given their reputation for being serious. Eventually, it comes to the slot where we’ve decided to include the song for Heidi. The lights go down, and only the four band members are illuminated.

  “As you know, there’s been some things going down in my life recently. A secret I’ve hidden away for a long time has finally been told about my sister, Heidi.” The crowd cheers for me, and I give them a moment when they break into spontaneous applause. “Thank you. That means a lot to me. Anyway, I wrote a song for her. I didn’t know if I could sing it, so I tore it up, but a very special lady in my life knows me well, and she taped it back together. She knew I’d regret it if she didn’t.”

  I turn my head to look at Zoey. She has tears in her eyes. The crowd chants her name, and she steps forward a little so she can be seen on the stage. A spotlight shines on her, and she waves. It’s spontaneous, and I know it’s hard for her to do, but she’s going with the flow as much as I am now. She disappears back again, and the crowd quietens.

  “Thank you again. This is Heidi’s song.”

  I step back and allow Cameron into the limelight. I bow my head and listen to the haunting opening bars of the tune he wrote. It’s perfect for my words. As he reaches a crescendo in his playing, Austin and Liam come in with the bass and drums. I put the mike to my mouth and start to sing.

  Time keeps moving,

  But you aren’t here,

  Alone in a grave,

  No more living,

  No more dead,

  Just gone,

  Forever.

  Nighttime falls on the endless mourning,

  I don’t know if I can do this,

  Pretend anymore all is okay,

  I need your wisdom,

  I need your light to guide me,

  For I’m drowning in my grief,

  Time keeps moving,

  But you aren’t here,

  Alone in a grave,

  No more living,

  No more dead,

  Just gone,

  Forever.

  I remember that fateful day so vividly,

  The silence when I called out loud,

  The color of your skin as you slept,

  Eternally broken by the pain of nothing,

  Why cou
ldn’t you fight harder,

  Was I not worth surviving for?

  Time keeps moving,

  But you aren’t here,

  Alone in a grave,

  No more living,

  No more dead,

  Just gone,

  Forever.

  So many years have passed,

  A lifetime for many but for you nothing,

  Why did you have to go?

  Why did you have to leave so soon?

  A part of us all is missing, decaying in the ground,

  Alone, that’s how I feel because you’re gone.

  The guys launch into the chorus, but my voice breaks. It cracks, and I lose it. Tears stream down my face as I mourn my sister all over again. I look toward Zoey and see she’s sobbing her heart out as well. My bandmates finish playing the chorus and launch into a repeat of it. Cameron puts his mouth to the mike and sings. Liam and Austin both join in.

  Time keeps moving,

  But you aren’t here,

  Alone in a grave,

  No more living,

  No more dead,

  Just gone,

  Forever.

  I get chills down my spine hearing them all together. Cameron and Austin come closer to me. Both urging me to try again. Zoey stands beside the stage with her hands held in prayer position. I bring the mike to my mouth, and my bandmates instruments fall silent as I sing the chorus one final time, a cappella.

  Time keeps moving,

  But you aren’t here,

  Alone in a grave,

  No more living,

  No more dead,

  Just gone,

  Forever.

  Just gone,

  Forever.

  When I finish, the entire crowd erupts into rapturous applause. Austin and Cameron place their instruments down, and Liam comes from behind his drums, and we all stand in the center of the stage in a big embrace. It’s the perfect tribute and the start of my moving on from the darkness that’s shrouded me for so many years.

  Chapter 25