Wilderness Untamed

by Butler, J. M.

"I call it mercy if the madness ends," AaQar responded calmly. His sleek black hair shone in the golden sunlight. His appearance was almost ethereal, a sharp contrast to the darkness that lay beneath his words. "My head is clearer now than it has ever been. I do not like where we have been headed, brother. What good we might have accomplished has diminished. It no longer seems so clear. And some things… they trouble me now the more I think on them."

  "If our world is as it seems from the little we have observed, then it would seem it is all at peace," he responded. "It has rested in peace. I do not like the feel of this place. There is something about it."

  "Death. If this is indeed twenty thousand years and beyond from the point at which we left, then the loss of the Tue-Rah will be felt quite keenly. Time passed four times faster here at the slowest point. And…if we did indeed pass over Tri Ce…"

  That sick knot twisted in his stomach, vicious in its insistence. He wanted to vomit. Reaching up, he rested his hand on a low-hanging branch of a nearby tree. The thin leaves rustled with the weight.

  "If it is Tri Ce, there may be supplies in the ruins beneath the earth," AaQar continued. "Even building materials. The elgan steel in particular would allow us to make more rels and an antidote for the ilzinium. We may even be able to use one of the structures for a base while we acclimate once more."

  "We will begin searching tomorrow," Naatos said. Focus on the small tasks. The little things that would ensure their survival. The bigger matters could be tended to later. "After the dolmaths depart and all is still."

  Amelia spasmed backward, her head dipping beneath the water before AaQar could grab her. He tilted her up, frowning. "Neyeb do dream, yes?"

  Naatos nodded. "Not the same as us. But they dream."

  "It's unlikely these are pleasant dreams. She's cried out a few times."

  "Then wake her." He scowled. He longed to hold her again, but he did not want to admit how deep that need was. If she was awake, then he wouldn't be so worried. Maybe. Maybe she would make him angry enough he wouldn't want to touch her. If that was even possible now.

  AaQar glanced up at him, his expression darkly amused, the lift of his eyebrows suggesting he thought him rash. "So she can suffer the itching and stinging of the suphrite's healing?"

  Naatos drew his hand over his mouth. He despised this so much. If things got bad enough, Amelia would wake up though. She wasn't trapped in her own mind. She was safe. "Perhaps the old city will have a place we can take shelter. We need to get the components to create more rels and produce an antidote to the ilzinium overload."

  "There will be ruins beneath the earth if that is Tri Ce," AaQar responded. "It is best if she sleeps anyway. The waters will work more effectively if she isn't resisting the healing. And she needs to be at full strength. Or at least as much as she can be."

  "The Awdawm boy said that there would be side effects from the venom they used in her flogging." His mind darted briefly to Matthu's pained expression as he had fallen back, the gun belching its deadly blast. It wasn't so likely that the boy would survive, but Amelia did not need to know that. More was the pity. There had been something impressive about that youth's spirit and tenacity. Standing against one's elder commander was not a simple feat. Especially in a culture like Libysha's.

  "Did he say what kind?"

  "Lowered immune function, exhaustion, increased risk of infection. All excellent things for a woman in the wilderness." Naatos studied AaQar, noting that his brother was no longer looking at him. "What is troubling you exactly?"

  "Why were the Neyeb so set on killing Amelia? And why was it suddenly so easy to convince them that we had the better alternative?"

  Naatos raised an eyebrow. Of all the conversations they might have had, this was not one he had anticipated.

  "In all my years knowing the Neyeb, I have never known them to be unduly harsh or unreasonable or even cruel. The few who were did not function as a part of their society. They splintered off. And the wisdom of the elders always brought them into that harmony. They were willing to risk everything they loved rather than put the worlds at risk. And yet… when they beheld this tiny brutalized child, their initial decision was to execute her. I assumed it was because of the blood curse. Because of unintended consequences. But... it does not come together."

  Why did AaQar have to be questioning things now? He kept his arms folded, the unease creeping up his spine and tightening throughout him with all of the other troubles and burdens.

  Stop, AaQar. Just stop.

  The last thing they needed was to walk this path. He still hadn't sorted out answers to some of this, but he would. He just needed time.

  AaQar continued, speaking quietly, calmly, in that measured way he had when he was sorting through facts that did not lead to an accurate outcome. He scooped up a palm of water and poured it over her cheek. "They said she was surim. She was touch-starved and malnourished. So many things were wrong on that night, Naatos. So many things. They suggested that she was too broken, but it never made sense. And they said that the spouse was to be ready to execute her in the event she turned. But… how does a blood child turn? They said that she might become a soul ripper. But even soul rippers can be stopped. There are practices. Rituals. We both saw those documents, the instructions detailing them. And soul ripping has stages. So many stages at which interventions could occur. It is a skillset, not a curse."

  Naatos nodded. He had thought much the same at the time. It had been odd. The Neyeb had seemed reactionary. Fearful. But there had been a reason. An excellent one.

  His brother eyed him with quiet contemplation, his lips pressed flat and his brow wrinkled. "It is odd, wouldn't you agree? That's the problem with feeling as if one has woken up after a long, long time. Things you thought were more or less ordinary are in fact rather wrong. A blood child would be the start of a new race, required to live a life of peace. And even if she became a soul ripper, she could be stopped long before it became an issue so long as her circle remained vigilant and she knew the proper course. There are ways to suppress the skill. To stop the attacks. But they feared her. Sinara actively warned you away from her even though it would mean her death." He adjusted his grip on Amelia, his gaze dropping to her once more. "She isn't just a blood child, is she, Naatos?"

  Naatos let the silence expand between them. Ripples moved out from AaQar in slow expanding circles, none strong enough to do more than lap at the shores when they had gone out far enough. His brother did not look away. "She is mine, AaQar. Nothing will take her from me."

  "Naatos." AaQar fixed him with his quiet gaze, his expression sterner now. "What is she?"

  8

  Cursed

  Naatos had missed his brother during the dark years of his depression and the destruction of the whitening. It had been difficult holding the cadre together as well as the Paraship and maintaining his own counsel. He'd needed his brother's sharp mind, and grief had dulled his blades.

  At this moment though, he wished that the awakening and the intense analysis of which his brother was so capable had been delayed. At least until he had better answers.

  "Naatos," AaQar said again, sterner this time. He still held Amelia. She was immersed up to her neck, her body limp, her face so still and somber. He trusted AaQar. With his life. But not necessarily with Amelia now.

  "Give her to me, and then we'll talk."

  AaQar's eyes narrowed. "You aren't doing much to encourage my trust."

  "If you won't give her to me, then put her somewhere safe."

  Shaking his head, AaQar waded back to the water's edge. He set Amelia on the bank so her head was supported on the sand and above the waterline even as most of her body remained submerged. Lifting his arms, he stepped between Naatos and Amelia. The suphrite had dried from his silver-blue robes and his straight black hair already. He leaned forward, indicating his brother should talk.

  Naatos crossed his arms. "You remember the night after we found Mara and the children?"

  AaQar l
ifted his chin, his face paling. "You think any of us could forget?"

  No one could forget anything that happened that day. Memories rose within the turmoil of his mind, sliding against the barriers. He swept them back. He only needed to speak the words. He did not have to experience them yet again.

  "It was well past midnight, and you had collapsed. QueQoa had gone to get us food. WroOth still wouldn't let us near Mara even though she had been dead for hours, but he had fallen asleep at least. I was standing watch. All the rest were gone to make preparations or get supplies or continue the search. But something was coming. I felt it before I saw it. It had taken a new host. Osti, the son of Nwea and Kinatwi." Naatos shifted his weight back onto his left heel, driving it down into the sand. The words were tight in his throat. Uncomfortable. "He had been fully consumed. There was nothing of the boy I knew. He recognized me, spoke my name, but he was neither the boy nor man I had known. He said that he heard WroOth's suffering. Yours as well. And he had come to bring blessed relief. To free your souls from their settings. He would not be reasoned with. So I killed him."

  AaQar's eyes widened, but he made no other sound or movement.

  "This was the fourth time that it had ended badly in our lifetime alone. So I took the cloak, the horns, all of the regalia. I separated them from the body, burned them, and cast the ashes into the volcano in Selpre. I burned the body as well. But somehow… somehow Salanca found a way to lure it as it roamed formless in another realm. She trapped it in Amelia. The Ki Valo Nakar."

  "Freer of Souls and Bringer of Death." A rigidity passed through AaQar's body, and a sharpness underlined his words. "The White-Eyed Soul Eater. The Veiled Death."

  "Among other names." Naatos met his brother's gaze. It was only going to get worse. "Sinara spoke to me of this after our conversation in the garden, but she did not tell me all. Not then. She likely intended to tell me more. There was much they kept hidden."

  "To our detriment, destruction, and damnation it would seem."

  He did not acknowledge this. His brother had likely already guessed where this ended. "The Neyeb insisted that the Ki Valo Nakar was neutral. That its hosts were the ones who corrupted it. And the Neyeb feared that the blood curse combined with the trauma and everything else that had been done to Amelia would make it impossible for her to master it before it destroyed her."

  "Yet they agreed to let you take her when she came of age. Knowing that there was a monster literally hiding within her?"

  "Sinara and the other elders bound the Ki Valo Nakar within her. They shrouded the memories and deanimated them along with the trauma."

  AaQar scoffed, shaking his head. "That will not work."

  "It will," Naatos responded sternly. "It has this far, and Sinara said that all was resolved. If Amelia showed signs, then I was to speak to Sinara, and she would give me guidance. But Amelia has shown none of those signs. Not even one!"

  "The Ki Valo Nakar is relentless. How many souls did it devour when it was in Tashipwea? How many did it butcher on the fields of Asperal? In our lifetime, all but one host to the Ki Valo Nakar has fallen to destruction and evil."

  "Amelia is not Osti or Tashipwea. She is not a monster, and she will not become one."

  "Why haven't you told her this?" AaQar demanded.

  "When was I to tell her? And how?" Naatos spread his arms wide, glaring once again. "I do not want to control her. What would she feel if I told her that I agreed to marry her when she was of age to save her life? That if not for me, she would be put down like a mad dog. And that there is an ageless entity trapped inside her, just waiting to break free and feast upon the souls of the living. More than that, Sinara said that it was vital not to speak of certain things unless there was no other choice." He scoffed as well. "I have erred in so many ways with Amelia. But telling her about the Ki Valo Nakar and the fact that her own people wanted to kill her is not a mistake I will make. What good will happen from telling her this now? It was bad enough that we were already married by the time we met in Libysha. There was no time to prepare her."

  "You certainly weren't gentle with her."

  "I wasn't." The words stung. He regretted that. He had had such plans for introducing himself to her. For sharing with her the truth that she was his veskaro. And all of it had vanished, burned up in the heat of anger at plans not going as they should and devoured in his pride.

  "So you, of all people, are stabilizing her. You are helping her hold the barriers of her mind against the Freer of Souls and Bringer of Death. Why in heaven's name were you so harsh with her?"

  "Because things didn't go the way they were supposed to," Naatos snapped. "She was supposed to recognize me. To seek me out. To desire me and only me. To trust me! And she didn't. Those wretched Machat just had to interfere. If I'd known who she was, if she hadn't been so intense—"

  "If you hadn't fed her to the spiders."

  He sighed with exasperation, letting his head fall for a breath. Reaching up, he raked his hair back and rested his hands on the top of his head. "I'm not even angry at who she became, but this wasn't how she was supposed to be. Sinara said she would almost assuredly be meek and timid."

  "All the more reason to doubt the effectiveness of the barriers they erected," AaQar said dryly.

  "No. She has shown none of the signs. I gathered all of the documentation and information I could on the Ki Valo Nakar. And Amelia… she is not evil; she will not succumb to evil. She's too stubborn for that. At worst, she's—infuriating. And her willfulness is not such a dreadful thing. The timidity was not an intention or a requirement. It was supposedly a side effect. Sinara said she would try to prevent it from happening, but I should prepare myself because so much of her had to be healed."

  AaQar raised an eyebrow, his expression less than amused. "That woman is the farthest thing from timid I have ever met." He pointed back at Amelia. "She lied to WroOth about being a Machat! She shot you in the face when she knew that that bullet wasn't going to kill you and we had her captured. And this isn't even all that happened in the first day!"

  "I am aware."

  "Are you? Are you really? Because I have to tell you, when it comes to Amelia, you have the worst judgment I have ever seen." AaQar placed his hand over his eyes. "I don't even know what to think, Naatos. I told you from the beginning—"

  "You don't have to say it again. I know you did not approve."

  "I can't believe the Neyeb would let you do this. Everything about this is now a thousand times worse. The Ki Valo Nakar rarely connects to a child because of the damage it can do. Let alone one who had been brutalized and shredded in that way. Her mind was gouged and blistered! She was starved of everything that could have given her any protection."

  "The elders and physicians helped her."

  "What happens when that help wears off? Entities like the Ki Valo Nakar are like water on stone."

  "Sinara seemed to think it was enough."

  "Or she didn't tell you everything. Again." AaQar lifted his eyes to the sky. "Is this how you intended the prophecy to be fulfilled?" He returned his focus to Naatos. "This changes everything. Neyeb don't kill easily. Curse or no curse. But the Ki Valo Nakar can destroy an entire city in a night. And that is what is living within her."

  Naatos set his arms akimbo. His brother was angry, not threatened. This information had come as a shock, and he would not harm Amelia. He wouldn't. He would see reason. Then perhaps he could help him find the solution. "The fastest any of the hosts could remove a soul was forty-three seconds. All started out slower than that. Even if I should miss every other sign and every other measure should fail, there will be time. And I will do what must be done."

  "So you say."

  "You knew that I had vowed to end her if it became necessary. This doesn't change that."

  "It was highly unlikely to happen before. Soul ripping is a skill that a fair number of Neyeb possessed and learned to control. But this—it's only a matter of time now. This is a heavy burden." AaQar folded
his arms, then sighed as if something shattered. His shoulders slumped. "When WroOth broke—when he became a skinchanger, I failed. I swore I would be there for him. I promised him that before we left the temple. But when his mind snapped, when he collapsed and was lost, I hesitated. So did QueQoa. And it fell to you to stop him. His death would have been on your conscience. But had it not been for you, he would have been lost to us forever."

  "I was not alone." He wanted to put all those memories behind. Stuff them down behind the barriers. But they roared up with all the rest, a sludge of images, scents, and sounds. It was a terrible thing to have to gauge one's strength in that manner, feeling the bones and muscles of his brother strain and threaten to snap. The bitter adrenaline. The terror. The urgency. "I only did what I had to do to save our family—and that includes Amelia now."

  AaQar dipped his head forward in acknowledgment. "I am not saying that it doesn't. Without question, she is part of our family. She belongs with us. What I am saying is that if you fail, I will not be able to take your place. Nor will QueQoa and certainly not WroOth. To be blunt, Naatos, I don't think you will be able to do it when the time comes." He blinked as if trying to clear his thoughts. "I don't even know what to think of all this. She will need help, Naatos. You are going to have to tell her."

  "Sinara said that telling her would weaken the bindings."

  "How is she supposed to fight against this force she doesn't even know exists? She has spoken of nightmares and torment. It may already be attacking her, and how would we know?"

  "She already thinks she's a monster! And how can I tell her any of this without destroying her further? If I tell her what's inside her mind, she'll start looking for it. You know she will. And it will prey on her then."

  "Naatos—"

  "She is not a monster; she won't become one," Naatos said sternly. "And if you think she is, you can go now. I'll see to her."

  AaQar pressed his lips into a tight line. "Amelia is not a monster, but one lives inside her. One that when it breaks free will devour her. She is stitched together with scars and promises. Her will is strong. She's shown that. And I do not doubt her heart or her kindness. She is not cruel. She is a healer, not an executioner, regardless of what the prophecy may say. But she is not unbreakable. In time, everyone breaks. She has no true defense against this."