Shattering Dreams

by Catherine M Walker

  There was a hush of expectation as the doors opened and Amelia stepped through. She stood, poised, on the edge of the doors, scanning the room until her eyes met Alex’s. A smile bloomed on her lips and a blush coloured her cheeks as she noticed his regard. She had taken only two steps into the room before she was surrounded by a flock of her contemporaries, fussing at her and trying their hardest to gain her attention. Other than her eyes widening in shock at the reaction (in the past no one noticed when she walked into a room), she took it in her stride.

  Alex shook his head and looked at Jess. “Should I rescue her from that gaggle of ladies?”

  Jess laughed and shook her head. “No, let her get used to it. You’ll be able to tell when she needs a break. It’s the first time she’s ever had more than cursory attention given to her at these functions; let her have the moment.”

  Alex opened his mouth to object, then thought better of it and closed his mouth again with a sigh. He was sure that right now while all the attention was a novelty, it wouldn’t take Amelia long to realise that it was all fake. They were after her rank and the status they perceived they would gain by being in her inner circle, but right now it was all new and shiny for her.

  Alex looked at the guards and gave a discreet hand signal for them to keep watch on her.

  Jess, just an idle thought: do you think your Damien might have seen or could track down the mysterious Baine? I can’t think how else we can find him since Kyle kind of killed everyone. At that last comment, he glanced over at Kyle.

  He was rewarded as Kyle forgot himself and spluttered. Laughing, Alex handed his napkin across, grinning at his friend.

  Alex, I did not kill our only leads. That was the female assassin. I would have at least gotten information out of them before I killed them. Kyle threw his friend an amused glance, knowing Alex well enough to realise he was joking.

  Jess laughed and shook her head at them. I haven’t asked but I can when we end up somewhere a little more discreet than here.

  Well we can invite him back to the compound when we’re done here tonight, if you don’t have objections. Alex glanced across at Amelia and smiled. That might be a little later than normal.

  Jess grinned. I think I should be able to handle that invite.

  Alex walked from his rooms. It hadn’t taken long for Amelia to fall into a deep, exhausted sleep. It had been a long day for her. Alex didn’t notice anymore how exhausting the official balls could be, he’d attended them as a Prince of the Realm with all the associate attention that brought. However, as had been pointed out to him, Amelia was not used to the attention that being with him brought with it.

  Damien had been rewarded by the King with a grant of lands, a title and a sum of money. They’d all been blown away by that announcement, even Damien. It wasn’t much of a title or lands but it would be enough to keep him well, even if he chose not to live there but kept the current arrangements in place for running the estates, which for now seemed likely.

  Walking out into the general sitting room, Alex collapsed into one of the large comfortable chairs and assessed Damien, who sat with his arms around Jess, comfortable in his surroundings. The man was confident.

  “So, Damien, we have a little problem we hope you might help with.” Alex watched the man, who didn’t appear at all surprised.

  “I wondered. You kept looking at me all night and having those half conversations… kind of like I was missing half of it.” Damien smiled and waited, knowing there was more to come.

  “Most of the people involved in the kidnap have been brought to justice already. We have information to suggest that a man named Baine arranged everything.” Alex glanced at Kyle.

  Kyle took up the account with the man’s description, at least the information they had. “He was described as having dark hair, shaved close to the skull, a tattoo down his right arm, with a trail of skulls from his neck to his knife hand. The final piece of information was that he had a bad scar trailing down the line of his left jawbone.”

  Damien whistled. “I’m guessing you know he sounds like he’s a member of the League of Skulls, right? A blade for hire?”

  Alex smiled, although it didn’t reach his eyes. “Yes, we know that part. It’s just strange, though, the League has never meddled with the Royal Family before, it causes a terrible reaction from the Crown.”

  Kyle nodded. “He’s a loose end we’d like to tie up. None of us like loose ends—I’m allergic to them, especially when those loose ends try to have us kidnapped.”

  Damien’s eyes moved between Kyle and Alex before settling on Jess, one eyebrow raised, causing her to grin. “Well I thought it might be right up your alley. Alex is right, though, there is something a little clumsy about the whole thing for it to be arranged by the League.”

  Damien shook his head. “I saw no one matching that description the night of the kidnap. I can poke around, though; he sounds distinctive. If I find someone who matches I’ll let you know.”

  Alex stood and nodded. “Thank you, we appreciate any help you can give. You seem accomplished but don’t put yourself at any risk.”

  Alex waited until Damien acknowledged what amounted to an order before he excused himself and retreated to his rooms. He was tired but he knew he wouldn’t get much rest tonight. At this time of the year, he never did. Even now, although he was awake, he could hear his mother’s final words, screaming at him to run, replaying in his mind.

  Alex moaned, his eyes flickering under his eyelids, tossing on the bed, his sheets twisting around him evidence of the restless night he was having. His head shook from side to side like he was trying to negate what he was seeing in his nightmare.

  Guards and servants slumped to the ground around him, his mother telling him to run and hide just as her head was wrenched back, a large hunting knife slicing across her throat. Fear froze him to the spot as the large figure of the Sundered loomed over him.

  Brother

  You’ll join our ranks soon enough.

  One of us

  You’ll be a killer.

  The menacing voices whispered to him as the forest darkened around him. Shadowy cloaked figures in the trees leering out at him, only retreating when the guards came.

  Then out of the darkness the tomb, shadows thrown over it by the surrounding trees, guttering light thrown by the torches. The wind moaned, causing the trees to groan and thrash. Five cloaked figures stood outside the tomb; as the mist gathered around them, one figure turned its face up. A delicate arm and hand reaching up toward where his room was. He knew the figure was female but the hood hid her face in its depths.

  “Alex, I’m sorry. Forgive me for leaving you. You’ll be safer this way.”

  Alex sat bolt upright in bed, breathing rapidly, and he could feel the sweat prickling all over, tremors still wracking his body. He groaned and leaned forward, hiding his face in his hands. He took slow deep breaths trying to calm himself.

  Looking over, he noticed that Amelia was still sleeping soundly. Alex levered himself carefully out of the bed, grabbing his robe and shrugging it on. He paused to pour himself a drink from the sideboard before retreating to the sitting room. He wasn’t likely to get any more sleep and didn’t want to wake Amelia.

  25

  An Annual Event

  Alex found himself in the library, trying to distract himself from acknowledging what day it was and not succeeding well, although this one was his own library in the Fourth’s Compound. It was smaller than the Royal Library but was big enough to qualify as a library rather than a room with a few bookshelves.

  He gazed around the room, with floor to ceiling shelves filled with books, a few scattered chairs that looked like you could sink right into them and fall asleep, and a few others opposite that looked uncomfortable. Alex snorted, figuring they would at least keep him awake if he ever found anything worth studying. Noticing a small pile of books sitting on a low table next to a high-backed leather chair that looked halfway between falling asleep and
running to the nearest bar, Alex walked over, picking up the book on top as he sank into the chair. Despite himself, a smile touched his lips as he sensed Joseph’s hand in selecting the book and knew the other two had been left right there for him to discover.

  He’d always been Joseph’s despair when it came to the scholarly occupations, but he figured this time at least the book looked interesting. It was one of the old accounts of the era of his Uncle Edward, the former occupant of the Fourth’s Wing. The time of the Sundered War, Vallantia’s war and final triumph of humans against the Sundered.

  Without realising what he was doing, Alex settled into the chair and flipped open the book, in his usual fashion flicking through the pages, scanning as he went. Smiling at the acerbic tone, which spoke volumes, he realised that he could hear his uncle in the words, even if it was a scholar who wrote the book. In the process of flipping over more of the pages, a description of the Sundered caught his attention; he shuddered and skipped the section.

  Alex paused and flipped back a few pages, finding the start of the section that described the Kin. Tall, athletic, with an economy of movement. Intelligent yet remote, almost a calmness in nature no matter what was occurring around them, making them deadly opponents. Although fewer in numbers than humans, they were just as diverse; however, while they lacked in population they lived longer, which his Uncle believed was in part the reason for their uncanny abilities in the tasks they pursued. Living in the wild lands, as they did most of the time, no matter what other skill sets they had learned in their long lives, they were excellent with a blade and in the art of killing. Alex frowned, more than a little confused. That didn’t sound like any of the Sundered he’d encountered. Calm, remote and intelligent were not words he’d ever think of using to describe them. Alex shrugged and moved on; it was a conversation to have with his ancestor next time he saw him.

  At the next paragraph, Alex felt his eyes widen as his uncle described the broken ones—ruled by hatred for any but their own kind, sunken in madness. In contrast, ruled by their emotions. No one. The rise in the numbers of the Broken was rapid and unexplained. Not even the Kin could, or would, say what had happened to those Kin to cause them to descend into such madness. The passage went on to theorise that something had changed in the veil to cause more of their kind to sink into madness.

  Alex froze. He reread the earlier passage then the one about the broken ones, his breath catching in his throat as he thought about the description of the Kin. He realised that the Kin, as his uncle had called them, were not quite the same as the broken ones. His eyes tracked back up the page once more and reread the passage again, the characteristics jumping out at him, triggering memories of his training sessions with Kyle and Jess. He stared at the book in his hands, whispering in the empty room.

  “Athletic with an economy of movement.” As he spoke the words, they triggered a memory of Kyle sparring in the practice ground, his blade whirling—graceful, dancing, deadly.

  Alex’s finger trailed down the page once more, words jumping out at him. “Calmness in nature…” The memory of the veil, the soothing calmness, the certainty that flooded him every time he was there, hit him. The image of Jess sighting down an arrow, her smooth draw, the certainty, the kill—all without even a flicker of emotion.

  His eyes widened as the book fell from his fingers. “No, it can’t be real.”

  Alex shook his head, considering what he’d learned so far. He felt his eyes widen as he considered the implications, his mind racing with events from his life flashing though his head in succession triggered by what he’d read, horrified at where his thoughts were going and what everything meant. Yet he shied away from any conclusion, his mind balking at the idea.

  Alex wished he could erase what he’d learned, erase that moment in time where he walked into the library and picked up that book. Erase the moment where he read that passage about the Kin and the Broken Ones; when his mind made the sudden connection between what was written in those pages and its connection to him. Its connection to his friends.

  Although he’d spent a long time trying to erase his mother’s death from his memory, it was still etched there. Every moment. The confusion his child-self had felt, not understanding what was happening around him. Alex closed his eyes and took a deep, steadying breath.

  He felt the veil shift around him as his unconscious mind allowed him to escape from the library where he didn’t want to be. Alex didn’t pay it much mind until he felt himself settle, although he knew where he’d ended up. Not the Veiled World. Alex opened his eyes to find himself on his knees in front of a large tomb. Four large statues of guards, one on each corner, with shields and swords, stood sentinel, guarding the resident of the tomb, even in the afterlife. Large and ornate, stamped with the Royal Crest, Alex knew it contained one casket. This was his mother’s resting place, deep inside the protection of the palace in what had been her favourite garden.

  Alex felt a tear slide down his face. “I’m sorry, Mother. If I could change this, if I had a choice, I would not be one of the very monsters who slaughtered you.”

  Alex didn’t expect an answer but wasn’t shocked when he got one. It had happened before, even if he didn’t know who or what answered him. He knew it wasn’t his mother, it couldn’t be, since she was dead. Yet somehow he always associated it with her since it was the voice that soothed him as a child after his mother’s death. He heard it in his head, through the veil, as he heard it when his uncle was speaking to him. Except this voice that whispered to him through the veil was female.

  It’s alright, Alex. Everything will be all right in time. You are who you have always been.

  Alex could hear the sadness in the voice, knew there was more that was not being communicated to him. He could feel the veil, willing him to accept what—who—he was.

  “Why, Mother? Why did I have to be Tainted?” Alex whispered the words out loud but knew he was throwing them out into the veil, to the other. To that person a part of his brain insisted was his mother.

  Sorry, Alex, it is who you are. You should not beat yourself up every year over what happened. It was not your fault, you could not have done anything, you were a child. The words washed through him again, leaving a distinct feeling of sorrow.

  Alex remembered the time in the glade, then after when his uncle and friends had tried to tell them about the Kin and the Elder.

  The Sundered, the Kin, the Elder. Is there a connection? Alex threw the question out, not expecting a reply from his unexpected tutor.

  The Sundered. The Kin. They are one, the same. Dual souls. The Kin have balanced their nature. The Sundered are at war with themselves. The Elder are the most powerful of their kind. Alex felt the presence remain, waiting.

  Who are you? It had never occurred to Alex to ask before. Then again, before now he had thought this whole thing was a sign he was going mad.

  This time there was no answer.

  Alex took a deep settling breath and stood, making his way through the garden, trying to process what he’d guessed and learned. Trying to bury the growing horror he felt inside—that scared little boy sobbing at the death of his mother. Trying to ignore the flashing images that appeared in his head of the deaths that occurred so long ago.

  Hearing a footfall, he looked up, unsurprised to see Kyle, who fell in beside him on his aimless pacing through the garden. Alex smiled to himself, appreciating that Kyle said nothing, just waited, knowing Alex would tell him what was up when he was ready.

  “It’s the anniversary of my mother’s death. I’m the same as what killed my mother.” Alex didn’t have to look at Kyle to know he wore a stunned expression on his face.

  “Alex, we are all Tainted. You know not all Tainted turn into the Sundered, not even all of them turn into the Sundered that killed the Queen, your mother.” Kyle looked concerned but didn’t press further.

  Alex laughed, but it held nothing but pain. “You don’t understand. I found a reference in an old diary of my uncle
’s in the library; I was trying to distract myself. That will teach me to think a library, of all places, as the place to do that. I had hope when our relatives told us about the existence of the Elder and the Kin that we’d be all right. That I’d be all right, we might be creatures of magic—the Kin, not the Sundered. Then I read passages in the diary; one described the Kin. It’s uncanny how it fits us all. The next described what he referred to as the Broken Ones, that no one could explain it, not even the Kin.” Alex looked at Kyle and saw his expression was still blank, not understanding. “The Broken Ones are the Sundered, they are the Kin, or would be if their minds didn’t break.”

  Alex stopped and waited while his friend processed the information he’d just been given. While Alex was sure Kyle felt as if he’d just been hit on the back of the head, nothing of the shock showed on his face or body language.

  How do you know this, Alex? Kyle drew on the power of the veil and spoke through it so that not even the guards could hear the conversation.

  Alex smiled and continued walking before he shared the memory of the conversation he’d just had, which was faster than repeating the conversation he’d had verbatim. It also had the bonus that Kyle would believe him straight away, being able to assess the memory itself.

  Kyle’s eyes widened in shock as Alex dumped the memory on him and it took time for him to process.

  Alex, this is ... I don’t know what to make of it. Even if whoever it was told the truth it doesn’t mean you’ll become Sundered. It doesn’t mean any of us will. Look at Edward, look at all of our trainers. There is nothing in the records to suggest any of them descended into madness.

  Alex could see Kyle looking at him, concern written all over his face. Alex shook his head and didn’t reply, keeping what he was thinking at that point to himself. What he hadn’t told his friends was that while they seemed at peace with their emerging nature, he was struggling. Sometimes he felt he was drowning, overwhelmed by all the conflicting emotions. Losing awareness of who he was. It was a relief when the calmness washed over him, but it never seemed to last for long.