Ttyl
Page 20
zoegirl:
i know, which is why i feel so bad.
SnowAngel:
but second of all, HE’S the grown-up. if it’s anybody’s fault, it’s his.
zoegirl:
i don’t want it to be anyone’s fault. i just want it to be over.
SnowAngel:
so tell him
zoegirl:
what if i’m wrong? what if he just, u know, wants to talk about the Bible?
SnowAngel:
*snorts*
SnowAngel:
in the hot tub while sharing a bottle of sparkling apple juice?
zoegirl:
anyway, everything’ll be fine. i’ll think of something and it’ll all be fine.
SnowAngel:
if u say so
zoegirl:
i’ve got to go do my homework. but really quickly: any word from maddie?
SnowAngel:
if there was, i would have told u.
Mon, Nov 15, 5:24 PM E.S.T.
SnowAngel:
o. m. g.
SnowAngel:
if i hear one more joke about maddie and the gold club, or maddie charging admission, or maddie being a titty-tease, i’m gonna scream.
zoegirl:
i know!
zoegirl:
and think how awful it must be for maddie. over the weekend she can forget about it (maybe), but then today she had to plod right back to school and deal with it all over again.
SnowAngel:
i’m surprised she came at all. i’d stay at home with a mysterious illness.
zoegirl:
she’d have to face everyone eventually. she couldn’t skip forever.
SnowAngel:
i wld. i’d flee to a convent and become a nun.
zoegirl:
you would be a terrible nun.
SnowAngel:
what r u talking about? i look good in black. i’d just have to do away with that headdress thing they wear.
zoegirl:
it’s called a wimple
SnowAngel:
god, even the name is dreadful. *pretends to be a nun: excuse me while i put on my pimple—i mean dimple—i mean wimple!*
zoegirl:
don’t be a nun, angela.
SnowAngel:
*waves away zoe’s foolishness*
SnowAngel:
oh, and u wanna hear something really lovely?
zoegirl:
what?
SnowAngel:
maddie was late to geometry, and there were only two seats left: one next to me and one next to barry beryl. guess which one she picked?
zoegirl:
not barry. really?
SnowAngel:
yes, it’s true. she chose barry “the sneeze” beryl over her best friend since 7th grade. namely, me.
zoegirl:
oh, angela. that’s so wrong!
Mon, Nov 15, 7:30 PM E.S.T.
SnowAngel:
maddie’s not really gonna ditch us forever, right? i mean, deep inside she’s still the same maddie, and she knows we’re still the same angela and zoe. right?
zoegirl:
i don’t know, angela. i thought she would have come around a long time ago.
SnowAngel:
yeah, me too
SnowAngel:
THIS IS SO MESSED UP!!!
Tues, Nov 16, 8:01 PM E.S.T.
SnowAngel:
zoe! BEN SCHLANKER ASKED ME OUT! *squeals and dances about*
zoegirl:
he did? how did THIS happen?
SnowAngel:
today at drama club he made an announcement about a poetry slam at the coffee connection tomorrow night, and he invited us all to come.
zoegirl:
this counts as asking you out?
SnowAngel:
yes, cuz even tho he was talking to the whole room, he looked right at me when he said it. *shakes booty in sexy circles*
zoegirl:
uh, ok
zoegirl:
what’s a poetry slam?
SnowAngel:
it’s when a bunch of ppl get up and read their poems, and everyone gets a score from 1 to 10. the audience boos or cheers to help the judges decide, and the winner gets, like, fifty dollars and a free pizza.
zoegirl:
is this something you *want* to attend?
SnowAngel:
don’t u think it sounds fun?
zoegirl:
actually, yeah. i’m just surprised you do.
SnowAngel:
ye of little faith. i adore poetry.
zoegirl:
mmm-hmm
SnowAngel:
and now we will play pretend, starring moi and ben schlanker.
SnowAngel:
there we r at coffee connection sipping our cappuccinos and having an extremely sophisticated conversation about… about…
zoegirl:
coffee?
SnowAngel:
about ART. and ben looks into my eyes, which r as blue as a summer sky, and says, “oh, angela, your eyes r as blue as a summer sky.”
zoegirl:
ack
SnowAngel:
then he cradles my face in his hand, like he’s protecting me from the harsh reality of life, and kisses my eagerly parted lips.
zoegirl:
and the judges raise their cards to show a unanimous score of 10! and the coffeehouse goes wild with applause!
SnowAngel:
of course for this fantasy to come true, i first have to decide what to wear.
zoegirl:
how about some clothes?
SnowAngel:
no time for jokes! must go ransack my closet!
Wed, Nov 17, 5:45 PM E.S.T.
SnowAngel:
la la la, la la la, only one more hour till my date with ben!
zoegirl:
so are you texting to describe your lovely, gussied-up self?
SnowAngel:
*clears throat* attire: tight black cords, betty boop t-shirt, black lace-up boots. scent: my mom’s “chance” by coco chanel.
zoegirl:
very nice. very hip.
SnowAngel:
i considered borrowing chrissy’s black coat with the faux fur trim, but decided it might be too much.
zoegirl:
especially since it’s not all that cold out
SnowAngel:
what i really wanna borrow is maddie’s bottle-cap belt. she took it back after the last time i wore it, tho, and i don’t think i can call up and ask for it.
SnowAngel:
then again, who knows? maybe it’d be a good icebreaker.
zoegirl:
maybe
SnowAngel:
but nah, i’m not up for rejection right now. it would bum me out.
SnowAngel:
is it bad that i’m so excited while maddie’s still so miserable?
zoegirl:
well, you’re not excited BECAUSE she’s miserable. they’re two different things.
zoegirl:
you can’t put your life on hold forever.
SnowAngel:
that’s true
zoegirl:
but since the care package didn’t work, maybe we shld do something else to cheer her up. to give her a chance to come back.
SnowAngel:
only we’ve already given her lots of chances, and she hasn’t taken any of them.
SnowAngel:
aye-yai-yai, it’s 6:15 and everyone’s meeting at the coffeehouse at 6:45. that’s only half an hour away! *quick kiss and a hug for good luck* BYE!
Wed, Nov 17, 10:15 PM E.S.T.
SnowAngel:
well, i’m txting from my hot poetry date. NOT.
zoegirl:
uh oh. what’s going on?
SnowAngel:
let’s see, how should i put it?
SnowAngel:
BEN IS HERE WITH LESLIE.
zoe
girl:
who’s leslie?
SnowAngel:
u remember! that GA state chick he’s always talking about. the girl i convinced myself was just a friend.
zoegirl:
i take it she’s not?
SnowAngel:
she’s wearing a hideous pearl necklace, one that loops around twice and hangs down to her belly button!
SnowAngel:
why wld he go out with her when he could have ME?
zoegirl:
ah, angela
SnowAngel:
it’s so unfair!
SnowAngel:
ew, now she’s rubbing his neck. disgusting!!!
zoegirl:
is the poetry slam itself any good? i mean, are you having ANY fun?
SnowAngel:
no.
SnowAngel:
ben read one of his poems—after prying himself away from leslie’s claws—and it was BAD. it was about rebirth or resurrection or something, and i could tell from the way he read it that it was supposed to be really deep.
zoegirl:
but it wasn’t?
SnowAngel:
at the end he pretended to be an egg. he scrunched into a ball with his arms wrapped around his legs and stayed like that, frozen, while everyone clapped.
zoegirl:
oh good heavens
SnowAngel:
my crush has been nipped in the bud. or, shall i say, my crush has been scrambled, fried, and poached.
SnowAngel:
tee-hee. that was funny, wasn’t it?
zoegirl:
at least you’re in a good humor about it.
SnowAngel:
well… maybe there’s ONE good thing about tonight.
zoegirl:
oh yeah?
SnowAngel:
prepare yourself for another bombshell: doug schmidt is here.
zoegirl:
doug schmidt? i didn’t know he was in the drama club.
SnowAngel:
he’s not. he came on his own.
zoegirl:
angela! did he come because he knew YOU were going to be there?
SnowAngel:
how wld he have known i was going to be here?
SnowAngel:
no, he came to compete in the poetry slam—for real!
SnowAngel:
he read a poem about dirty underwear, which sounds gross, but it was really funny. UNLIKE mr. deep’s stupid egg poem.
SnowAngel:
and afterward, he and i sat together and drank chai milkshakes while leslie caressed ben’s hair. doug told me he wants to be a writer when he grows up, but that he would never take himself too seriously.
SnowAngel:
it was cool, cuz there’s so much more to him than i thought.
zoegirl:
so… where is he now? and is he your new crush?
SnowAngel:
he left—and no!!! i have fun hanging out with him, but he is NOT my type.
zoegirl:
ha. like that’s ever stopped you.
SnowAngel:
what r u implying? omg, u r so confusing sometimes!!!
Thu, Nov 18, 5:00 PM E.S.T.
SnowAngel:
i saw u talking to mr. h in the hall after 5th period, zo. he was looking VERY interested in what u had to say.
zoegirl:
we were talking about the quiz he gave in class. it was nothing.
SnowAngel:
well, he was rapt. have u figured out what ur gonna do about this weekend?
zoegirl:
aargh! i haven’t! and every time i think about it, i get all jittery and i have to do jumping jacks to calm down.
SnowAngel:
ur gonna have to come up with something. time’s a’ tickin.
zoegirl:
i KNOW. he’s expecting me at the kravitzes’ TOMORROW NIGHT!!!
SnowAngel:
know who cld tell u what to do? maddie. she’s always so good at cutting through the bullshit.
zoegirl:
i know. i NEED her, but how am i supposed to talk to her now that she’s decided she’s never going to talk to us???
Thu, Nov 18, 5:19 PM E.S.T.
zoegirl:
maddie, are you there?
zoegirl:
maddie, i need to talk to you. please?
zoegirl:
it’s about mr. h.
zoegirl:
he wants me to go hot-tubbing with him, and i don’t know what to do.
zoegirl:
maddie?
zoegirl:
ok. well, i really could have used your advice, but i guess you don’t care!
Fri, Nov 19, 10:09 AM E.S.T.
zoegirl:
i am so dead! i saw mr. h at fellowship this morning—i was too wimpy not to go—and when we were in the kitchen getting out the orange juice, he said, “i’m looking forward to tonight. i got a special candle just for the occasion.”
SnowAngel:
ew! ick, ick, ick!
zoegirl:
he said it in this shy little boy way, and it would have been cute if i’d still been into him. but i’m not!!!
SnowAngel:
did u tell him u couldn’t come?
zoegirl:
no! i said something brilliant like, “uh, great,” and then i darted off to get a sweet roll—not that i was able to eat it. i wanted to tell him no, but i just couldn’t!
SnowAngel:
zoe, u have to get out of it.
zoegirl:
how? he’s coming to pick me up at seven. i already told my mom i’m going to Bible study with him, like years ago before i got freaked out, and she’s delighted. she’ll probably have a plate of cookies for him when he arrives.
SnowAngel:
what if u told her the truth?
zoegirl:
are you KIDDING? that would be a disaster. she’d call the entire school board, and then she’d realize i’d been lying to her all this time and she’d—crap, i have no idea what she’d do.
zoegirl:
but it would be BAD!
SnowAngel:
maybe u could get sick?
zoegirl:
i suck at faking stuff. you know that.
SnowAngel:
it’s cuz ur such a goody-goody. u haven’t had enough practice.
SnowAngel:
maybe u could just not be there when he comes to pick u up?
zoegirl:
where would i be, in a closet? anyway, there’s still the mom problem because she knows i’ve got plans with him. i can’t just disappear.
SnowAngel:
i could
zoegirl:
well, i can’t!
zoegirl:
my stomach’s in knots. i keep imagining these horrible scenarios with the two of us alone in the kravitzes’ hot tub. what do i do if he actually tries something?
SnowAngel:
u say, “no!” and if he KEEPS trying, u slap his face and say, “no means no, u weirdo stalkerhead!”
zoegirl:
thank you, that’s very helpful.
SnowAngel:
or i know! u could say, “now, now. what would jesus do?”
zoegirl:
stop joking!
SnowAngel:
i’m sorry. it’s just that now I’M all anxious, and i don’t know what else to do!
zoegirl:
great. this is just great.
SnowAngel:
shit, must put phone away. mr. kirk coming. something about some dude named shakespeare. only i don’t know any dudes named shakespeare!
Fri, Nov 19, 7:05 PM E.S.T.
SnowAngel:
MADDIE, I NEED TO TALK TO U! THIS IS SERIOUS!!!
SnowAngel:
i know yr reading these texts, or i really THINK u r, so i’m gonna tell u anyway. i just got off the phone with zoe, and i’m totally flipping out.
SnowAngel:
she’s o
n her way to greg kravitz’s house with mr. h—the kravitzes r out of town, it’s a long story—and mr. h thinks that zoe is gonna go hot-tubbing with him.
SnowAngel:
he showed up at the door while we were talking, and maddie, her voice got all panicky and she hung up really quick. WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!!!
SnowAngel:
maddie!!! we’re talking about zoe, who can’t say no to anyone. straight-A honor student, ppl-pleasing zoe. do u understand how serious this is?
SnowAngel:
fine, i’ll just figure something out myself. only i have no idea what to do and i can’t stop thinking about it and if u were really her friend u’d help me. IF ANYTHING HAPPENS, HER BLOOD WILL BE ON YOUR SHOULDERS!!!