by Amy Clipston
Ervin pointed to Drew’s chest. “You’d have to dress like an Amish person, so Cindy would have to make you new clothes.”
“Right.” Drew rubbed his hand over his face. Was he strong enough to give up all the worldly things he’d known?
Drew only wanted to make Cindy happy. Besides, he’d finally have a family and a community of his own. His heart warmed. Yes, maybe this was where he and Cindy belonged.
“What’s this about, Drew?” Ervin asked. “You need to be honest with me, because this doesn’t seem like something you’d want to do.”
Drew took another sip of coffee and then leveled his gaze with Ervin’s. “Cindy told me that for the first time in her life, she feels ready to make the commitment to the Amish church. She asked me if I would consider joining the church with her. I’m just confused. I never expected her to ask me to be Amish.”
Ervin was silent for a few moments, fingering his beard as he studied Drew.
Drew felt itchy under the older man’s examination. “Please just tell me what you’re thinking.”
“Well, I think your heart and your reasons need to be pure if you’re going to join the church. You can’t do it just for Cindy, no matter how much you love her.” Ervin took a long drink of coffee. “You said Cindy hasn’t felt ready to be baptized until now. You shouldn’t join the church until you feel a true and honest call to be baptized either. It’s not something you join like a club at school.”
“I understand that.”
“You should pray about it. Ask God to talk to your heart, and then do whatever you feel is right.”
Drew considered this. “How will I know if I hear his call?”
Ervin tapped his chest. “You’ll know in here.”
Drew nodded. How he appreciated the meaningful talks he shared with Ervin. He thought again that, in just a short period of time, Ervin and Gertrude had become like family. If Drew and Cindy were Amish, they would have more people in the community like them to cherish. His heart swelled at the thought.
Drew and Ervin finished their coffee while discussing some of the chores Drew needed to accomplish around the farm. Then Drew stood and shook Ervin’s hand. “Thank you for this talk. I’m going to go check on the animals before I head back to the house.”
Ervin smiled at him. “You have a gut head on your shoulders, sohn. I’m certain you’ll find the right answers if you just open your heart to God.”
How Drew enjoyed hearing Ervin call him “son.”
Drew shivered as he walked outside and down the path to the barn. He stepped inside and started toward the horse stalls.
When he reached them, he stopped and closed his eyes. Then he began to pray.
Lord, I want to be the husband Cindy deserves, and I want to make her happy for the rest of her life. I feel as if becoming Amish might be the right path for me, but I’m not sure. I know I’d have to give up a lot, and I also want to do it for the right reasons, just as Ervin said. Please lead me down the right path for Cindy and me. I need your help.
As he ended the prayer, he suddenly felt as if tender arms wrapped around him. He smiled as he looked up at the ceiling above him.
“Thank you,” he whispered. “I’m listening.”
thirty
Drew whistled as he walked out to his truck Friday morning. He unlocked the passenger side door and tossed his backpack in before looking toward the Lapps’ house.
“Drew! Drew!” Gertrude was rushing down the back-porch steps. “We need help! I think Ervin is having a heart attack. He has chest pains, and he says he feels dizzy. I know you have class today, but would you please take us to the hospital?”
“Of course!” Panic gripped Drew. “Yes, we’ll go right now. Do you need help getting him out to the truck?”
“What’s going on?” Cindy came running out the front door of their house, her blue eyes wide.
“Gertrude thinks Ervin is having a heart attack.” Drew worked to keep his words even despite his flaring worry.
“Ach no!” Cindy cupped her hand to her mouth. “You go to the hospital. I’ll run to Dat’s and get a ride there with his driver. We’ll let the community know what’s going on.”
“Thank you.” Drew turned to Gertrude. “Let’s get Ervin into the truck fast.”
“I’m praying, Gertrude!” Cindy called after them.
Drew hurried up the Lapps’ porch steps, his heart thumping and his mind begging God to protect his friend.
* * *
Drew sat in the waiting room at the hospital and stared at the television set a few hours later. Gertrude sat beside him, wringing her hands.
“I’m sure everything will be fine,” Drew told her for probably the hundredth time. “We got him here quickly, and he was talking and joking in the truck.”
“Ya.” Gertrude’s focus was on the television set, but she didn’t seem to be absorbing what was on it. She was most likely praying and thinking of her husband.
“Gertrude!” Cindy strode across the waiting room, followed by Vernon and Florence. “How is he?” She sat down beside Gertrude and took her hand.
“The last I heard, he had a mild heart attack, but they’re running more tests. He might need surgery.” Gertrude’s lower lip trembled, and Florence pulled a wad of clean tissues from her pocket and handed them to her. “I was so scared this morning. Drew was our savior. I’m so grateful God brought him to us.” She turned to Drew. “I don’t know how long I would’ve had to wait for a ride if you hadn’t been there.”
“I’m just grateful I was there to help,” Drew said.
Other members of the community came in and gathered around them, peppering Gertrude with questions. Drew found Jamie and Mark in the knot of people, along with other Amish folks he didn’t recognize.
Cindy stood and motioned for Drew to follow her to an empty corner of the room.
“How is she?” Cindy asked when they were alone. “How is she really?”
“She’s worried sick, and I can’t blame her.” He touched her arm. “I was the same way when we were here not too long ago.”
“I know.” Her face clouded with a frown.
Drew took in the large group of people ministering to Gertrude, and his heart swelled with appreciation. “Who did you call?”
“I ran and told Dat and Jamie, and then Florence started calling people. The word spread from there.” Cindy leaned her head against his arm. “I’m so grateful for my family and friends. It would be horrible for Gertrude to sit here alone and worry, you know?”
“I knew the Amish are willing to help anyone in need, but are they always like this when someone is sick?”
She laughed. “Wait until you see the parade of people bringing food to Gertrude when she goes home.”
“Really? Like your family did when you came home from the hospital?”
“Really. Just like that.” She nodded. “The Amish know how to take care of their own. It’s like having a giant family.”
“Wow.” Drew stilled as her words washed over him. “Do you think we could attend the service this week?”
Her eyes widened. “You want to go to an Amish service?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “I want to see what it’s like.”
“Okay. My family’s church district is off this week, meaning there isn’t a service. But we could go to a service in another district.”
“I’d like that.”
“I would too. I’ll talk to Walter and Nellie and see where their church district is meeting on Sunday.” She squeezed his hand. “Thank you for considering joining the church with me. It means more than you know.”
Once again he felt that warmth wrapping around his heart. Was this an answer from God? No, it couldn’t be that obvious.
But maybe it could.
* * *
Drew and Cindy sat on folding chairs at the back of the Zook family’s barn Sunday morning in Gordonville. Cindy had contacted her stepbrother, Walter, about joining their district’s service, making h
im promise not to tell anyone in the family that she and Drew were considering joining the church. He agreed, mostly because he didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up.
The bishop sat at the front of the barn and spoke in Pennsylvania Dietsch while the congregation listened with what seemed like rapt attention. He turned to Cindy, and her expression was serene as she, too, focused on the bishop. Then she met his gaze and took his hand in hers before treating him to a warm, beautiful smile that sent his pulse galloping.
Still holding her hand, Drew turned back to the bishop. While he couldn’t understand the language, he still felt God’s presence in the barn, guiding his heart and his thoughts. Could this be his new community? Could he become a member of this extended family with Cindy at his side to guide him toward understanding their culture and customs?
His wife tapped his arm, and he leaned down to hear her whisper. “I’d teach you the language. It wouldn’t be long before you’d understand what the ministers and bishop are saying.”
It was as if she could read his thoughts. Or maybe she could feel his apprehension. He nodded, and she squeezed his hand once again.
“I promise,” she whispered. When she returned her attention to the bishop, he closed his eyes. Lead me, Lord. I won’t be able to make this decision on my own.
* * *
“What did you think of the service?” Cindy asked as they drove home in his pickup truck. She held her breath, awaiting his response. Would he decide not to join the church? If so, could she handle that decision?
“It was definitely different from what I’m used to.” He gave her a sideways glance. “No music. No altar. No English.”
“Was it too different?” Her chest constricted as he stared at the road ahead.
“No.” He shook his head. “I think I could get used to it.” He smiled at her. “Are you worried I’m going to tell you no?”
“Maybe.” She gave him a half shrug. “But it’s okay if you decide not to join. I’ll support whatever you feel is right.”
“I told you I’d think about it and pray about it, and I promise you I will. I’m not sure yet, but I promise I’ll give you an answer soon.”
“Why don’t you talk to Pastor Ellen about it?”
He slowed to a stop at a red light and turned toward her. “You think that would help?”
“Ya, I do.” Cindy nodded. “Tell her how you’re feeling about the decision to convert and discuss it with her. She was a great help to me when we asked her to marry us.”
“You’re right.” He rubbed her arm. “I think that’s a great idea. I’ll call her tomorrow.”
“Good.” Cindy felt her shoulders relax. Pastor Ellen would help lead Drew to the right decision, and Cindy would support whatever choice her husband made.
* * *
Drew sank down into a chair across from Pastor Ellen’s desk Wednesday morning. “I appreciate your taking the time to meet with me today. I’ve been wrestling with a decision for over a week now, and you were such a great help when Cindy and I decided to get married.”
“I’m always happy when people reach out to me when they need someone to talk to. So what’s on your mind?” She rested her forearms on the desk.
“Cindy asked me if I would consider joining the Amish church.”
“Really?” Pastor Ellen’s eyes widened. “How do you feel about that?”
“Well, I like the idea since the Amish community is like an extended family, which I’ve never had. You know I was an only child, and when my parents died, my aunt raised me. Once she passed away, I was alone, and I was envious of Cindy’s family when I met her. I could tell how close she is to her father and siblings. They pulled away from her when she married me, but as I shared with you before, we’ve repaired that rift.
“She told me after we attended service here last week that she finally feels the call of the Amish church and she wants to be baptized, but we’d have to join the church together. She said she’ll respect my decision, but she truly would love it if we did. I’ve been thinking about it and praying about it, and we attended an Amish service on Sunday.”
“How did you feel about the service?”
Drew rubbed his chin as he considered his response. “I could feel God’s presence there, but I couldn’t understand what the bishop was saying. Cindy said she’ll teach me the language.”
“But did you feel welcome at the service?”
“I did.” Drew rested his right ankle on his left knee. “Her stepbrother Walter and his family welcomed us, and I think I would feel like a part of the congregation if we joined Cindy’s district.”
“Would you miss worshipping here?” She gestured around her office.
He heaved a heavy sigh. “Yes, I think I would. I grew up in a church similar to this one, but it would be like a new beginning for Cindy and me. I’d have the family I always wanted, and Cindy would be able to go back to the community where she was born.”
“But would you be giving up too much?” Pastor Ellen sat back in her chair. “If you convert only to make her happy, you could wind up resenting your decision and eventually resenting her.”
Drew considered Pastor Ellen’s point. Would he resent Cindy?
He shook his head. “I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
“Because I can see myself assimilating into the Amish culture. When I close my eyes, I see visions of raising Amish children with her. I can see myself owning a horse and buggy and taking our family to services. I can almost feel it to the depth of my bones.”
Pastor Ellen smiled. “I think you might have already made up your mind.”
Drew pressed his lips together.
“You seem hesitant.” Pastor Ellen tilted her head. “What are you afraid of?”
“I’m not sure.” He looked down at his lap. “Maybe I’m afraid the community might not accept me completely since I wasn’t born into the culture.”
“But Cindy said they would, right? And you got that feeling from her stepbrother too?”
He nodded, and she smiled.
“I think you already have your answer, but pray about it again. I’ll be praying for you.”
He stood and shook her hand. “I appreciate your time. It’s helped to talk this through with someone.”
“I’m here anytime you need me.”
“Thank you,” Drew said, and then he left.
Pastor Ellen’s words filtered through his mind as he drove home. When he steered into the Lapps’ driveway, he spotted a group of Amish women delivering food to Gertrude and Ervin.
For the past few days, the parade of Amish people, as Cindy had called it, hadn’t stopped visiting the Lapps. They seemed to come by like clockwork—arriving every afternoon with whatever Ervin was allowed to eat—and then some. They were as reliable as the rising of the sun, as his aunt used to say.
Drew was grateful to hear Ervin’s condition was improving. He’d had surgery to clear a blocked artery, and he was already feeling better. He would have to start physical therapy soon, but Gertrude said he already felt like he had more energy than he’d had in months.
As he made his way to his porch, he pondered his conversation with Pastor Ellen once again. He considered the service he’d attended and felt the question twirl through him. Should he and Cindy be baptized together and join the Amish church?
He looked over at Ervin’s house again. If they joined the church, he, Cindy, and their future children would be part of this wonderful community, this supportive extended family. Was this what Drew wanted? Was this what God wanted for Cindy and him?
He looked up at the sky as a resounding Yes! echoed in his mind. Excitement rippled through him.
He stepped into the house and was greeted by both his dog and the chatter of the sewing machine. After hanging his coat on a peg by the front door, he rubbed Bruce’s ear and then walked into the back bedroom, where Cindy sat with her head down, concentrating on a sewing project. Her tongue stuck out and she looked adorable
as all her focus was trained on what looked like a blanket.
He sat down on the stool across from her and waited for the machine to stop.
When she looked up, she gasped.
“I hate it when you scare me!” She swatted him with her hand and then laughed. “How was your meeting with Pastor Ellen?”
“It was good. We had a nice talk.”
“And . . . ?” Her beautiful face looked hopeful.
He sucked in a deep breath and then just blurted it out. “I’ve thought about it and I’ve prayed about it. My answer to you is yes. I would like to be baptized in the Amish church with you by my side.”
She stared at him for a moment, and then her eyes opened wide and she gave a little squeal. “Do you mean it?”
“Of course I do. I wouldn’t joke about something this serious.”
“You know what you’ll have to give up, right?” Her questions came out in a rush. She pointed to the light fixtures around them. “We’d have to move out of here. And you’d have to stop going to school and sell your truck. And you’d have to—”
“I know, I know.” He leaned forward and took her hands in his. “I know what I’ll have to give up. When I spoke to Ervin about it, he said we’d have to meet with the bishop and probably live like Amish folks for a year before we can join. So it won’t be a quick process, but I believe that’s where God wants me. I’ve prayed about it, and his answer came loud and clear.”
“So you’re certain?” Her beautiful eyes seemed to sparkle.
“Yeah.” He rubbed his chin. “At first, I considered it because I wanted to make you happy, and then because I realized the Amish community is like one big family, and I want that. Those are still important to me, but the most important thing is that I believe God wants me to be a part of the community and the church. And I want that with you.”
She launched herself into his arms and rested her face against his shoulder. “I love you, Drew.”
“I love you too.” He leaned down, and when he kissed her, he felt a calmness cover his heart.
This was where he belonged. This was where God wanted him to be.
* * *