Hart & Stocker

by Max Ellendale

  "What about this one?" asked Dax, pointing to another photo.

  Mom continued along the same path, telling a brief story about each photo. Sage met my gaze, a knowing smile playing on her lips as she watched me. I had no idea what gave her the confidence to look at me like that, but the way she admired Dax's connection with Mom gave me a small hint.

  By the time we headed back to my place, Dax continued to laugh at me every time I groaned about Mom's doting.

  "So tell me honestly," I began as I let us into the apartment. "How far off did my family drive you from wanting to be in a relationship with me?"

  "Well, all was good until I saw those nerdy middle school pictures. Now, I've lost all interest." She shrugged out of her jacket and let out a heavy sigh. "Those braces, Willa. It's over."

  "Dax!" I squeaked and she burst out laughing. "That's not even a little funny."

  "It really is though." She grinned while checking the lock that I just locked before grabbing me into a rough hug. "Hi."

  "Hi." I chuckled while hugging her arms. "Want to cuddle on the sofa and watch a movie before bed?"

  "Are you going to make me watch a musical?"

  "Yep."

  She let out a long, dramatic sigh. "Fine."

  Chapter Eleven

  The week after Dax attended family dinner spiraled into a way-too-busy downslide. With summer barely a blip away, the patient load increased exponentially and with Doctor Harmon manning most of the in-office visits, I was off running around from house to barn to house taking care of larger animals. To top it off, Dax had to work three days straight due to an issue serving the warrant. I didn't quite understand what she meant when she explained the difficulties, but I took her at her word. By Thursday night, our text exchange turned into single words with the promise that she'd text me when she got home on Friday.

  "Why do you keep staring at your phone?" asked Nellie when I returned to the office at three in the afternoon after hosing off out back then showering the cow dung off me.

  "Dax said she would text when she got home today. She hasn't…"

  "Is she home?" Nellie propped her feet on the stack of charts on the floor. Luckily, the office wasn't too busy at the moment.

  "I don't know." I gnawed at the inside of my mouth.

  "Did you text her?"

  "Yeah. She didn't answer."

  "Did you call?"

  "She didn't answer."

  Nellie clucked her tongue. "What are you going to do?"

  "Go out there and see if she's home." I pocketed my phone and pulled my damp hair into a ponytail. Anxiety coursed through me, twisting my stomach to knots.

  "What if she's not?"

  "Then she's not. She always texts me back." I took a deep breath to calm some of my worry. "I need to go check."

  "Will, you're shaking." Nellie grabbed my wrist. "Want me to go with you?"

  "No." I settled when she held onto me and I patted her hand. "I'll call you in a little bit. Is my schedule clear?"

  "Yup." She released me to tap her pencil on the scheduling book in front of her. "You asked me to block you out at three."

  "Thanks, Nellie. I'll text you later."

  "Bye, Will. Be careful," she said, sitting up properly when a patient emerged from the back room with Doctor Harmon. He offered me a cheery wave which I reciprocated before ducking out.

  The entire fifteen minute drive to Dax's farm made me feel like I drove to Anchorage. Between the icy tightness in my chest, and the fact fifteen minutes seemed like fifteen years, I tried to settle my focus on driving.

  What if she got hurt at work? What if she is home and hurt with no one checking on her? My mind wandered to what Dax said about no one noticing she was missing for nearly a week when her ex-boyfriend held her captive. What if he isn't dead and returned to hurt her? My mind held no limits to the terrible scenarios it created.

  When I pulled up the long driveway toward Dax's house, the trees and fields blossomed to fullness as spring met summer. Rich greens, vast perennials, and vibrant flowers along the perimeter of the fence greeted me in a breathtaking view. My tires crunched on the gravel and when I saw Dax's car in the driveway, my stomach simultaneously lurched and sunk.

  I parked beside Dax and hopped out as my heated pace led me to her front door. It wasn't locked so I let myself in.

  "Dax?" I called out, my heart pounding. Beside the sofa, I noted her Seattle P.D. gear bag on the floor that she used as her overnight bag. When no answer followed, I checked the kitchen where Rudy slept contently in a ray of sun streaming in onto the floor. His dish had a few kibble in it so I knew she must've been home. "Where's your person, cat?" He looked up at me like he knew what I was asking. "Do you know?" And he ignored me again. "Guess not."

  I checked the main bedroom off the living room, but found the bed perfectly made without anything out of place. Only in the late afternoon sunlight did I notice the thin layer of dust on the dark wood dresser, and the brownish bedspread. This room, that I thought to be Dax's with the gun safe in the corner, suddenly appeared less woman and more old man. My brow furrowed, and I headed out to turn down the hall.

  I hadn't explored Dax's home at all save for the kitchen, living room, and bathroom. The hall, keenly decorated with country rustic fare, led to the bathroom first. I peeked in and found it as always, though the humid air told me it'd been used recently.

  The next door down creaked when I opened it, and a nearly empty room appeared before me. A brand new bed frame and a mattress and box spring still wrapped in plastic sat in the middle of the room. The smell of new carpet and fresh paint met my nose and I wondered what plans Dax had for this room. I closed the door then hurried off to the last door at the end of the hall.

  When I opened it, the sight of a well-used room greeted me. Except this room, unlike the rest of the house, belonged to a teenage girl. A twin bed sat in the middle of the room with two nightstands on either side. All of the furniture had the innocence of childhood as a part of it. Towering bookshelves held worn copies of Nancy Drew, Babysitters Club, and Goosebumps, while the desk had an old fat-monitored computer perched on top of it. Band posters, Blink 182 and Bikini Kill, hung beside each other in an unusual dichotomous harmony.

  I smiled at the sight of holey sneakers, a paper-filled trash can, and the unmade bed. Dax grew up in here and it looked like she still slept here. There wasn't as much dust as the other room, and the messy nature of it seemed like a snapshot frozen in teenage time.

  I shook off the nostalgia as a wave of worry struck me again and I bolted from the house to search for Dax outside.

  In the backyard, the pool lay uncovered without any water in it. Cleaning supplies sat around the edge and the smell of bleach or another product like it met my nose. I hurried toward the barn and found Carol grazing in the pasture. Her nostrils flared when she saw me, but my fear had me bustling past.

  "Dax?" I called out, making my way around the barn. Both the alley doors and the loft hung wide open and the bleating of baby goats drew my attention. I raced around toward the side sheds and found the goats hopping around the rungs of a ladder that lay flat on the ground. "What are you three doing?"

  Like giddy little nerds, they hopped happily around the ladder, making all sorts of cute noises. I sighed as I crouched beside them, contemplating where Dax could be. I could check the range, but I would've heard the sounds of her gun. Maybe the lake.

  "Dax?" I shouted, and one of the goats jumped on my back.

  "Willa?" I heard her say, muffled in the distance.

  "Dax! Where are you?"

  "On the roof."

  "What?" I stood up and lifted the ladder from the ground after freeing it from the goats. It propped against the barn with ease and I began to climb.

  I found Dax seated at the apex of the top peak, straddling it with her back against the cupola. "What are you doing up here?"

  "Those little bastards knocked the ladder down." She tipped her hat back to look at me. "Don't get
off that ladder. They'll kick it."

  "Oh my God." I laughed as I held one hand to her, the other gripping the edge of the roof. "Why didn't you call me?"

  "I got pissed off at them and stumbled. My phone is in the water trough." She pointed down the side of the steeper slope of the roof. I grinned, and she glared at me from over her sunglasses. "It's not funny."

  "It's a little funny. I was worried. Come down from there." I waved her forward and she carefully moved to me, gripping my hand. "Why are you up here in the first place?"

  "There was a leak." She took my hand then sat down as the roof sloped toward me. "Go down. I'm good."

  "Okay." I backed down the ladder, cautious of the dopey goats still dancing around the bottom.

  Dax followed suit and she climbed down after me. "Move it, you little freaks. I have to pee," she scolded the goats as they swarmed her legs. We made our way to the water trough where she fished out her phone.

  "What were you going to do up there if you couldn't get down?"

  "Wait it out. Esteban is due back around six." She shrugged, brushing her hands off on her jeans when her feet met the dirt. "At least my arms are tan from it."

  "And your nose is freckly. C'mere." I grabbed her into a hug and she gave me a squeeze. I sighed as my heart finally calmed down. "I was worried…"

  "Were you?" She leaned back, her hands on my shoulders.

  "You said you'd text me today when you got back. When I didn't hear from you and you didn't answer me…" I shrugged, and the swell of emotions rose in my chest. Admitting my worry for her brought the fear and anxiety to a peak.

  Dax didn't say anything, we just stared at each other for a moment.

  "I have a confession," I said, sniffling a little then clearing my throat to deflect from the moment.

  "What's that?"

  "I looked in all the rooms of the house. And I saw your bedroom. The real one."

  She smirked, tilting her head as the brim of her hat shielded us from the sun. "Like the posters?"

  "Definitely." I kissed her gently then stroked her cheek. "Didn't you have to pee?"

  "I do." She chuckled before breaking away from me to head toward the house. I followed her and the goats raced after us like baby ducklings.

  "Do they follow you everywhere?"

  "Everywhere," she said, closing the goats in the paddock. They bleated at her, one after the other, before heading to the feed trough.

  "We need to rescue your phone." I stared at it in her hand as we headed inside. "Is it dead?"

  "It's a Samsung phone. Of course not." She flipped the screen around to show me and, sure enough, it worked just fine even soaking wet.

  "Wow. Mine would be dead in eight seconds."

  "Ditch the iPhone, princess."

  "Don't insult my phone or I'll stick you back on the roof." I huffed at her and she grinned.

  "Be right back." She pointed to the bathroom and I plopped myself down on the sofa.

  "'Kay."

  In the quiet, I dropped my face in my hands and sighed. My worry for Dax and finding her safe left a pitted sensation swirling in my gut. My fury to find her had me embarrassed about the distorted thoughts over her wellbeing.

  Warm hands gripped my knees and I lowered my hands to see Dax crouched in front of me. I smiled at her, then dropped my head back on the sofa. She no longer wore her hat or sunglasses. Her sun-kissed skin brought out the freckles over her nose, and made her body feel excessively warm against my legs.

  "I was up there for three hours. And you came looking for me."

  "Yeah." I nodded, linking my pinky finger with hers. "I was worried."

  She said nothing to that, her expression falling as it normally did in her quiet. Instead of shifting away from me, she settled on the floor, her knees tucked to her chest, and rested her head in my lap. My hand fell to her hair, and I ran my fingers through it.

  With her close to me, my worry and nausea dissipated.

  "You okay, honey?" I asked after some time.

  She nodded. "Will you come with me somewhere tomorrow?"

  "Sure. Where?"

  "It's in Seattle."

  "Okay. Small road trip. I'm in."

  "Good." She kissed my knee then rested her chin on it. "Want to help me work on the pool?"

  "You like putting me to work on this farm, don't you?"

  "I like looking at you while you move. Making you work gives me a thrill."

  I laughed and tugged her hair. "Fine. Let's do it."

  "So glad you're wearing a white T-shirt."

  "Dax!"

  ***

  "I've never driven two hours in so much quiet before," I told Dax as we walked from our space in the parking lot toward the back entrance of the LGBTQ Center. "Are you going to tell me where we're going yet?"

  She shook her head, her hands tucked so deeply in the pockets of her jacket that I thought she might break through the lining.

  "Stop for a second please." I scuttled in front of her and she paused, her gaze fixed on my lips. "Look at me, Dax." She did. "One word. Why are we here?"

  "Support," she said, and she fidgeted in place before releasing her jacket to hug me.

  "Okay." I wrapped her in my arms and kissed her cheek. "I'm your support."

  "Thanks." She brushed her thumb over my bottom lip before kissing me gently. "C'mon."

  I smiled as she placed her hand on the small of my back and led me inside.

  When we stepped inside, instead of the expanse of the LGBTQ Center that I expected, we entered a long hall that appeared more like a school. Dax urged me into the larger set of double doors on the left. The dimly lit room had a circle of chairs in the center of it, and a line of bleachers off to the left. To me, it presented like a repurposed dance studio. A slew of women gathered near a table where they poured out cups of coffee or nibbled on cookies. Dax didn't approach them. Instead, she led me to the circle of chairs and we sat beside each other. Only then did I notice someone sprawled out on the bleachers, feet crossed at the ankles while she read a book that she held in the air. At first I thought she was a kid, but when a pretty brunette woman approached her, she flipped her off.

  "Sali." The woman swatted her hand while chuckling. "Come sit with us."

  "Nope. I hate this shit, Mags. This is for you and Nora. Not me."

  "But you're here for me." The woman grinned, poking and prodding at the one called Sali until she fell off the seat and tumbled between them. They both laughed until the taller woman grabbed her by the shirt and kissed her.

  "I'm not here for you. Liar." Sali scowled after, her face contorting. "You're trying to force me into giving a shit."

  "A little. Fine. Stay here. But no pizza later." She wagged her brows and Sali pinched her breast. The two of them proved particularly entertaining, and Dax seemed equally amused.

  "Maggie, ignore her. She's hopeless," called an extremely fair woman with nearly white-blonde hair. All of the women there appeared to be in their thirties or early forties at best.

  "Brat." Maggie swatted Sali's knee then left her in the bleachers as she approached the blonde who joined Dax and I in the circle. "At least she's in the room," she muttered.

  "It's a start." The blonde turned to Dax and smiled. "Hi, Dakota. You have someone with you today?"

  "Yeah." Dax leaned back in her chair then slouched, though her hands remained in her pockets as her closed off nature returned full-force.

  The blonde woman crouched in front of us, and Dax's gaze flickered to her. "I'm glad you brought someone." She looked to me and held out her hand. "I'm Nora."

  "Willa. Nice to meet you," I said, giving her a firm shake. "What is this group?"

  "It's a support group for LGBTQ women in law enforcement or first responders who've had difficult things happen to them on the job. Today everyone was encouraged to bring a support with them," explained Nora. "Or someone they cared about."

  "Oh." The seriousness of the situation settled in on me and I looked to Dax. She
kept her gaze averted as always, though Nora's steady presence in front of us never wavered. "Are you a counselor?"

  "I am. But this isn't as much a therapy group as it is support. No one has to talk. We just share space with each other. And drink coffee." Nora smiled and she stood up again. "It's good to have you, Willa. And I'm glad you've brought someone, Dakota."

  Dax nodded, then drew her attention to me when Nora stepped away. The rest of the women began to gather, taking their coffee cups and plates of sweets to the circle around us. Nine of the ten chairs filled up, and a woman with rainbow colored hair sat directly across from Dax and me. My brows lifted when I recognized Jordan from The Mermaid Salon downtown.

  She met my gaze, cocked a brow, then waved once the recognition set in. I smiled and returned the gesture. Beside her, a woman with dirty-blonde highlights met my gaze, her brow furrowed. She looked familiar, but I couldn't place her.

  "Okay, folks. Let's start with giving everyone a chance to introduce their guest and why they chose them for support." Nora sat beside Maggie who continued to trade scowls at the woman in the bleachers. Despite their angsty game, they never stopped laughing at each other.

  "Why don't you start, Nora, so we know what to say," suggested a woman with short multi-tonal dreads that stood out against her smooth, brown skin.

  "Alright, Aniyah." Nora nodded, and crossed her legs as she looked to Maggie. "Today I brought Maggie. Most of you know her, but she's my best friend." Nora smiled at Maggie who held out her hand for her to hold. "She's always there for me when I feel like crap, and goes with me every time I want my nails done or feel like a blow out at Jordan's."

  "Whoop whoop." Jordan pretended to raise the roof and most folks chuckled.

  "Sali is also my best friend, but she's an ornery brat who refuses to join the circle." Nora pointed over her shoulder.

  "Shut up, Nor."

  Laughter followed Sali's echoing voice.

  "But she makes me feel safe. They both do." Nora gave her hand a squeeze. "My girlfriend is on assignment in Tacoma this weekend, and when she's away, I spend time with them or with our friend Anita."