Sweet Little Nothing

by Farlow, LK

  Heat flares to life in his gray eyes when he sees me. “Jesus. You look...” He rubs a hand over his face, shakes his head, and then returns his attention to me. “You can set your clothes on the bar if you want.”

  “Thanks.” My eyes drop to my bare toes. I can’t help but feel self-conscious. And him leaving me hanging certainly isn’t helping. “So, what now?”

  “Want to watch a movie?”

  “Okay.”

  “C’mon.” He starts leading me back toward his bedroom, and immediately my hackles rise.

  “Where are we going?”

  “Just trust me, little mouse.”

  “My, what sharp teeth you have,” I mutter under my breath as I follow him, praying with every step it’s not to my doom.

  “This isn’t some ploy to trick you, Emmalyn.” He pauses in the doorway to his room, leaning against the frame. “The television’s in my room.”

  “Oh.” Come to think of it, I didn’t see one in the living room. Weird, but not nefarious. “Okay.”

  “Go on and get cozy. I’m going to change.”

  And just like that, my nerves are back full force.

  He waltzes into the room, disappearing into his bathroom without sparing me a backward glance. Which, I guess, I’m grateful for. At least I don’t have an audience as I wrestle myself into the room and onto his bed.

  You can do this. Breathe. Just breathe.

  With reluctant steps, I cross the space to his bed. Not even ten minutes ago, I was wondering at the fluffiness of his duvet, and now I’m peeling it back to climb beneath it.

  The events of tonight are nearly enough to short-circuit my brain, but when Sterling steps out of the bathroom in nothing but a pair of gray sweats, I’m pretty sure my motherboard fries itself entirely.

  “What are you in the mood for?” he asks, moving past me to the other side of the ginormous bed.

  “Huh?”

  He leans over and pats the mattress. “Movies. What are you in the mood for?”

  “Oh. Um.” I scramble beneath the covers when his gaze dips to my legs. It’s even softer than it looks. “Something funny, I guess?”

  “Have you seen The Big Lebowski?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “I think you’ll like it.” He studies me for a minute. “Unless you’d prefer a chick flick?”

  “What’s it about?”

  Sterling grins. “It’s about The Dude.”

  “What?”

  “You’ll see.”

  I settle back against the fluffy pillows, unease still swimming within me, while Sterling queues up the movie.

  As the opening scene unfolds, I find myself very much doubting Sterling’s taste in movies.

  “Just trust me,” he murmurs as he scoots closer to me, easily reading my disbelief.

  I try my hardest to give the movie my full attention, but my brain isn’t having it.

  Sure, it’s funny, and I laugh when I’m supposed to, but my half-drunk brain is working overtime to process everything.

  Not just today, either, but the past month.

  The same thoughts have been looping around my brain so often, I’m starting to annoy myself. But how? How did we go from Sterling wanting to destroy me to having movie night in his bed?

  I’m so lost in my obsessive internal quest for answers that I don’t even notice the movie’s over.

  “So, what’d you think?” Sterling asks.

  “It was good,” I answer automatically. It’s not a lie, though—the parts I tuned in for were really good. “Not something I would have picked, but I liked it.”

  “I’m glad. Next time you can pick.”

  “Next time?” I yawn and snuggle deeper into my pillow, tugging the covers up to my chin.

  “This isn’t a one-and-done, baby.”

  “You keep calling me that.”

  He nods, rustling the sheets. “I do.”

  “Why?”

  “Time will tell.” He winks, and I swear to God, I don’t know if I want to hug him or suffocate him.

  “Or you could tell me. Now.” Another yawn slips past my lips, causing Sterling to frown.

  “You’re tired. Maybe tomorrow.”

  “How am I supposed to sleep now?” I whine.

  “Need me to tuck you in?”

  I huff out a laugh. “You’re really not going to tell me?”

  “Not tonight.”

  “Fine. Then tell me something else before we go to bed.”

  “Anything?” he asks, and I nod.

  “Is this our thing now?”

  I shrug, not that he can see it since I’m wrapped up like a burrito. “Maybe.”

  “Okay, fine. I...” He shifts a little closer, leaving only a foot between us. “I don’t think I want to go to work for my family’s firm.”

  “Really? Why?”

  He smiles at me in a way that sends a whole swarm of butterflies fluttering through me. “Growing up, it was always just...expected. You know? And I guess I haven’t been feeling it for a while—hence not being in law school—but now, I really can’t see myself doing what they do.”

  “What do you mean? Like, practicing law in general?”

  “No.” He shakes his head as he reaches out and skims his fingers gingerly over my cheek. “I can’t see myself representing people I know are guilty. I can’t see myself helping people like Rob. I used to think the money and prestige more than made up for the work, but now...”

  “But now what?” I ask, hardly allowing myself a breath.

  “But now, I’m realizing there are more important things in life than money.”

  I smile sleepily, halfway wondering if this conversation is actually happening.

  “Sleep tight, Emmalyn,” is the last thing I hear before my eyes slip shut and sleep takes me.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Emmy

  I snuggle closer to the warm body beside me, practically plastering my cheek to the warm, muscled chest. Strong arms wrap around me, making me feel safe and protected.

  “So cozy,” I mumble, as the steady thump-thump rhythm of my dream man’s heart acts as my own brand of melatonin, calming and comforting me. “Wanna stay here.”

  “Stay where?”

  Something about the sensual rasp of his voice sends a happy shiver through me. This is the best dream I’ve had in God only knows how long.

  If I had it my way, I’d sleep forever, just to stay in his embrace.

  “Didn’t know you were so snuggly, little mouse.”

  My eyes pop open, and I try to scramble back.

  Oh my God.

  I’m not dreaming. I’m in bed. With Sterling Abbot. Wrapped around him like a hungry boa constrictor.

  “Don’t run from me.” He smooths my wild flyaways from my face. “Don’t hide from me.”

  “This is so embarrassing.”

  “What is?”

  “This!” The color in my cheeks rises right along with my voice.

  “Baby, there’s nothing embarrassing about the way your body is clinging to mine. I’d keep you here full-time if I could, but it’s a little soon for all that.”

  “What?” Clearly, I’ve woken up in an alternate universe.

  “Don’t act so surprised. It’s pretty clear I’m into you. I think you’re into me.” I go to speak, but Sterling presses on. “It’s okay if you’re not there yet. You will be. I’ll wait.”

  “This really isn’t a game?”

  Before I can process it, Sterling yanks my body flush with his and presses his lips to mine. I panic for a split-second over my morning breath, but the way he sucks on my lower lip chases all worries away.

  His kiss is soft—far softer than any we’ve shared before—and slow. He takes his time, nibbling and tasting and exploring.

  Sterling drags his hand up my body to cup my cheek. I sigh at his unexpected tenderness, and he uses the opening to deepen our kiss.

  My heart shudders, skipping a beat before pumping into hyperdr
ive as he slides his tongue against mine.

  His erection digs into my belly, yet he makes no move to take things further. His hands don’t stray and his hips don’t roll. And somehow, his respect and his caution turn me on even more.

  Seriously, who even is this man? What happened to the Sterling who took unapologetically... the man who all but slammed me against a wall and demanded my mouth? Not that I’m complaining. If anything, he just got four billion times hotter, and I already had him elevated to a god-like status—looks-wise, at least. If his personality well and truly catches up, I might be totally screwed.

  He nips at my lip as he pulls away, ending what was easily the best kiss of my life. “That feel like a game to you, baby?”

  “No. Not a game,” I sigh and flop onto my back. “But not quite real either.”

  Sterling rolls, propping himself up so that he’s looking down at me. “How so?”

  “It feels like I woke up in an alternate universe or something. I don’t know how to describe it. Like, my body and my heart are on the same page, but my brain isn’t even in the same chapter.”

  “Are you saying I’m in your heart, Emmalyn?” His voice holds a teasing quality, so I laugh instead of replying with words. God knows, if I spoke my truth and he was only joking, I would die.

  “Well, how about we ground you in reality with some breakfast? I know a great place down by the river.”

  “I’m all for breakfast. Two problems though.”

  Sterling gives me his most indulgent smile. “I’m known to be a real problem solver.”

  “Well, a shower and toothbrush would be amazing. But also, clothes.”

  “I just so happen to have a shower, maybe even a spare toothbrush. And, if you can handle last night’s jeans, I bet I can find you a shirt.”

  I nod. “Then you’ve got yourself a deal.”

  “We could shower together?”

  Panic surges through me, but the twinkle in Sterling’s silver eyes chases it away. “Ha-ha. Funny man.”

  “I’m hilarious, baby.” He rolls off of me. “Now go shower. I’ll make coffee.”

  He stands from the bed, making no attempt to hide the very prominent bulge hiding beneath his sweats. I’d like to say I avert my eyes, but I’d be lying. And judging from the swagger in Sterling’s step, he likes the attention.

  Once he’s out of sight, I scramble out of the bed and into the bathroom. The sight that greets me in the mirror has me cringing. I look like a train wreck times two.

  And yet, he still kissed me. Weird and weirder.

  I lock the door and start the shower before undressing. I find a new toothbrush under the sink, all the while telling myself I’m not jealous over who it may have been for. I mean, it could have just been an extra for when his needed replacing, right?

  I brush twice and swish with mouthwash before stepping under the spray of the shower. I always thought the rainfall head at my stepfather’s house was nice, but this baby makes it seem builder-grade.

  The water is the perfect temperature and the perfect pressure. I could give up baths if I had access to this glorious shower every day.

  Then again, the tub looks even more amazing. Definitely better than the one we have in our suite on campus. Though, I should probably be glad we even have a tub at all.

  I make quick work of washing, even though I could easily spend eternity in here, especially with his scent soaking into my every pore.

  Oh, God, I’m going to smell like him all day. How am I supposed to act normal when I’m going to be tempted to sniff myself randomly?

  It’s not until I am wrapped up in one of his fluffy gray towels that I realize I don’t have my clothes in here with me. Which leaves me with two options: I can either face him with only this towel for cover, or in my bra and last night’s shirt, because putting on my dirty panties is a no-go.

  Finally, I decide the shirt and bra is the lesser of two evils, and slip them both on before wrapping my hair in the towel.

  With my panties balled up in my fist, I unlock the door and step out into his bedroom. Luckily, he hasn’t returned. As I walk down the hall toward the kitchen, cool air swishes between my legs, reminding me just how vulnerable I am in this moment.

  “All clean?” he asks, smirking, when he sees me.

  “Yup. Just need my clothes.”

  He captures his bottom lip between his teeth as he rakes his gaze over me. The sweltering twin flames in his eyes heat me from my core, outward. I shift on my feet, rubbing my thighs together to soothe the ache his unfaltering stare is igniting.

  “Better hurry,” he growls, sounding very much like the apex predator I know he really is. “Better hurry before I decide you sound like a better breakfast.”

  A startled squeak escapes me as I lunge for my clothes on the bar, before turning and hightailing it back down the hallway and into his bathroom.

  My chest heaves, both from fear and arousal. How is it he can elicit such a response from me? After Rob, just the thought of a man touching me made me feel sick, but with Sterling, I want it. I want him.

  The realization robs me of what little breath I have left. I’m not just mildly attracted to him. I’m downright into the man. I trust him, and if given time, I could see myself falling for him, for my former bully.

  Definitely an alternate reality. It’s the only plausible explanation.

  * * *

  “Inside or out?” Sterling asks as we approach our destination, a cute little local place called The Blue Plate.

  It takes me a second to process his question; my head is up in the clouds, a million miles away, trying to understand how I got from point A to what feels like point Q.

  “Outside, please. It’s such a pretty morning.”

  He snags two menus as we head to an open table.

  “What’s good here?” I slide my eyes over the menu, slightly overwhelmed by how good everything sounds.

  “The pancakes are amazing. But so is the breakfast burrito.”

  “Which are you getting?”

  “Pancakes for sure.”

  “Then I’ll get the burrito.”

  “Anything to drink?” a blue-apron-clad server says, appearing seemingly out of nowhere.

  “Coffee, please,” Sterling says smoothly as he passes her our menus.

  “You got it.”

  We chatter mindlessly, talking about small, silly things until our drinks arrive. Except along with our carafe, comes the very unwanted feeling of being watched. It makes my skin crawl, and Sterling notices.

  “Are you okay?”

  I wrap my arms around myself and discreetly look around. Nothing jumps out as unusual, but the feeling persists. “Yeah. Um.” I laugh uncomfortably. “I’m going to sound crazy, but it just...feels like someone’s watching us.”

  Sterling stands and scans the surrounding area, but he, too, comes up empty. “I don’t know. I don’t see anyone.”

  “Yeah. Sorry. I get a little paranoid sometimes. It’s dumb.”

  I expect him to laugh, or maybe to poke fun at me, but he doesn’t. Instead, concern sparks to life, sharpening his gaze as he leans toward me over the tabletop. “It’s not dumb. You’ve been through hell. You’ve experienced unthinkable terror at the hands of someone you should’ve been able to trust. Baby, I’m amazed by the simple fact you’re still here and working your ass off to support and help others in similar situations. You’re taking your tragedy and turning it into something beautiful. You’re beautiful. And—fuck. I got sidetracked.”

  He laughs under his breath and tucks a wayward strand of hair behind my ear before leaning back into his seat. “My point was, it’s totally understandable for you to have a little PTSD. It’s not dumb.”

  I can feel tears well, not because I’m sad, but because for the first time ever, someone from my past is on my side. Someone has my back. It feels better than I ever imagined. “Thanks,” I whisper.

  Before he can reply, our food arrives, and I dig in, if only to save my
self from crying. “Oh my God!” I groan, my tears long forgotten as the flavors of my burrito burst across my tongue.

  “Told you.” Sterling cuts off a bite of the fluffiest pancakes I’ve ever seen and holds his fork out for me. “Taste these.”

  Sterling feeding me feels intimate, maybe even more so than sleeping beside him. But even still, I part my lips, allowing him to feed me.

  “Jesus. Where do you find these places? The food is amazing.”

  He grins and winks. “Eat up.”

  I dive back into my own meal, barely breathing between bites.

  My skin still feels warm and a little too tight under someone’s watchful eye, but with Sterling, I feel safe, so I push it to the side and decide to ask a question that’s been eating away at me for a while now.

  “Sterling?”

  His gaze snaps to mine. “Yeah?”

  “Did...did you assign Summer as my partner because you knew she’d leave me to do all of the work?”

  He has the good sense to look guilty. “Yeah.” He nods. “I did.”

  My throat is suddenly as dry as the desert, as I attempt to process his admission. If you can even call it that. It was pretty obvious why he paired us together. But... was there something more than wanting to break me motivating him?

  “Did...were y’all—”

  “No!” Knowing where I’m going with my question, he doesn’t give me a chance to finish before he’s rushing to reassure me. “No. Not ever.”

  “Nothing? There was nothing between y’all?”

  “Why do you sound so disappointed?”

  I shrug. “I’m not. I just figured maybe that was why she hated me on sight. It would’ve explained a lot, you know?”

  “She’s just an insecure girl. You threaten her.”

  “What? Me? No.”

  “Yes, you. You’re beautiful, Emmalyn. And you’re kind, genuine. Girls like Summer don’t know what to do with that.”

  “If you say so.”

  “I do, and, Emmy, I need you to know, I’m sorry for assigning you with her. It was shitty of me.” He laughs dryly. “One of many shitty things, but I’m going to make up for it. For all of it—each and every sin against you, one way or another.”