“You did mean that but I’m your fucking brother, Liam. You’re my blood, my family and if caring for you makes me a fucking villain in your book, so be it.”
“You can’t be serious?”
“You can stand there and fight me on this, but you will lose,” I say, and he scoffs, looking pissed but he knows better than to push me. I’m hanging on by a fucking thin thread right now. “I don’t want to fight with you. I need you because right now, we need to find Mia. I messed up, I’m not disputing that shit but make no mistake, she’s fucking mine.”
I don’t know why that last part comes out hard and angry, but it does. I’ve never laid claim to anything or anyone so this comes as a surprise to me but not to my brother or my best friend who smirks at me.
They glance at each other, a silent message passing between them that I don’t want to know. Liam looks away, his jaw locked.
“Yeah well, then start acting like it,” he murmurs.
“I am, asshole,” I say, grabbing my phone so I can call Mia again, but it goes straight to voicemail.
“What do we know so far,” Liam starts. “Obviously while I was out looking for you before Cole texted, she was here getting an earful from you.”
I choose not to answer that jab, as I crack my neck, trying to relieve some of the tension that has settled there.
“Yeah, we left her on the beach when I put this jerk to bed,” Cole says. “But when I went back to look for her, she was gone. But something was off last night. You couldn’t see that because you were hammered.”
“What do you mean?” I demand.
“I don’t know. She looked like she was having a panic attack.”
“I think that’s because Nancy died.”
“Yeah, I keep thinking that, but it doesn’t fit, there’s something else. I don’t know what but I saw it from the corner of my eye.”
“Well damn, that won’t fucking do shit for us,” Liam says running a hand through his hair. “This summer already blows.”
“Maybe we need to just give her time, she’ll come back,” Cole says. “She has to. I don’t think she’d abandon the woman who raised her now, after everything?”
“She did before when she was fighting for her life,” I say. “What’s stopping her now that Nancy is dead?”
“Well unlike you, she actually has a bleeding heart,” Cole fires back. “But either way, we need to take matters in our own hands. Track her fucking phone, the GPS in her car, anything.”
Just then, Mom walks in like she’s about to have lunch with Michelle Obama, Oprah and Stephen King, in that order.
“That’s won’t be necessary, boys. If that girl left, it’s because she finally realized the truth that she isn’t wanted here,” she says, the cheery note in her voice chilling the blood in my veins. “Besides, it’s illegal to stalk someone considering your dubious intentions toward the girl.”
What the ever loving fuck?
6
Cole turns around and greets my mother like he always does without fail like the charming asshole he is, ignoring what she just said about Mia like the polite shithead he is.
“Hey, Mrs. Fitz,” he says with a small wave. “What’s up?”
“Oh, come on Cole, call me Courtney. I’m not Mrs. Fitz anymore, thank God,” Mom says making Liam roll his eyes. “I loved your valedictorian speech. You’re a great orator like your father.”
“I don’t know if anyone can be compared to that man, but thank you, Mrs. Fitz. I gave it my best shot under the circumstances,” he says, shooting me a look. We all know what circumstances he’s alluding to. “You look lovely this afternoon.”
“Cole,” Mom warns, but I can hear the smile in her voice.
“It’ll take a bit of getting used to, Mrs. Fitz,” Cole says instead, that charming smile still intact.
You can count on Cole to charm his way into any room, with anyone, at any time.
“Yup, that’s my mother, always looking lovely,” Liam scoffs. “Are you going out for lunch to celebrate Nancy’s death?”
“Liam,” Mom warns. “How can you say that?”
“If the shattered glass shoe fits…” he trails off.
Mom shakes her head, then turns to look at me, but I turn away from her, choosing to look out at the beach as the thing in my chest aches, longing for something—longing for someone.
“Julian, my love, how are you today?” Mom asks, her gaze burning into my back. I turn around and look at my mother, the woman who did nothing but make Mia’s life hell.
“Why are you still here?” I demand.
“Julian, sweetie, I know it’s been a hard couple of days but I’m still your mother, I’m always going to be there for you.”
“So it seems,” I mutter. Even when I don’t need her, she’s always there. Somehow though, I don’t really trust her presence.
“Mom, what are you doing here?” Liam demands with a heavy sigh. “I don’t think now is the time to gloat in Nicky’s face.”
Nicky. Yes, maybe she knows where Mia went but I wouldn’t count on it; if there’s anyone who can hold a grudge and smile in your face, it’s my Little Minx. But beside all that, where is Nicky? Last I heard of her was when she was wailing, her cries so damn heartbreaking, reminding me of a time not so long ago when Aiden passed.
“Whatever you might think of me, Liam, just know that I do know grief. I’m just here to offer my support and help in any way I can,” Mom says. “Especially now that girl is gone.”
My head snaps up in shock. My eyes narrow as I stare at my mother. “What did you just say?”
“That poor girl is gone, isn’t she?” She says it more like a statement instead of a question.
“You were eavesdropping.” Liam scoffs, rolling his eyes.
“Well, yes,” she admits, waving a hand in the air like she’s conducting a symphony. “But beside all that, I saw it in her eyes last night, when we had our little…talk.”
“What?” Liam and I explode. “You saw her?” Liam demands.
“You talked to Mia, last night?” I question, my voice so low, everyone turns to look at me. Mom’s eyes widen, then she smooths her face into an impassive mask, and I know she’s ready to justify something. What would she want to justify? Fear and anger make my heart pound as I stare at my mother, green clashing on green, a sea of deceit between us.
“Yes, I talked to her.”
“What about?” Liam rushes to ask. “What did you talk about? Did she say anything to you?”
Mom doesn’t look at Liam as she answers, holding my gaze instead. “We talked about the past, the present and possible futures,” she says. Cole and Liam glances at me, but their faces, like mine, are smoothed into impassivity, but I know both of them can hear what she isn’t saying.
“Possible futures?” Liam starts, taking a step closer to our mother, his eyes hard and narrowed. “What exactly does that mean in Courtney Mason-Fitzgerald speak, huh?”
“Liam…” Mom starts, but Liam cuts her off.
“Come on, Mom,” he says. “You never liked her from the moment she talked back to you. Even before you knew whose child she was, you hated the fact that you couldn’t control her like all these little bitches, desperate for J and mine’s attention.”
“Now that’s enough!” Mom snaps. “I know you’re concerned about her, but there’s no need to be so rude to me. Where is the respect?”
“We would respect you a lot more if we knew you aren’t the one who made Mia leave,” I start, my voice so low, everyone turns to look at me. Mom stands up straight, as if she’s readying herself. “What did you say to her?”
“I didn’t lie to her. I told her the truth, the whole truth, which was ugly for the most part.”
“The truth, huh?” Liam scoffs.
“Yes,” she says, her chin raised in defiance. “I helped shed light on some dark shadows she didn’t know existed.”
“Oh, you mean like how you interfered with her inner family dynamics, robbing
her of the one thing she’ll never get back now; time with the woman who raised her? Do you mean that kind of light on shadows?” Liam says sarcastically.
“For the record, I did apologize for that and how I handled everything with her in the beginning,” she says, looking away. “I mean, I don’t hate the poor girl, how could anyone hate her?”
“So why would you do that? What kind of person are you?”
“I was hurt and angry, okay?” Mom murmurs. “How do you think I felt when I found out that your father was engaged to be married and that he moved that woman and her entire family into my house?”
“Yeah, so I guess the best course of action for you was to decimate a teenager,” I fire back. “Life must have sucked for you.”
Mom stares at me, then she glances down at her shoes like she’s nervous, making Liam stare at her with a frown.
“Listen, I’m not proud of what I did. The other night at the police station I finally saw how hurt the poor girl was. I mean, she had just found out that everyone in her life was lying to her in one capacity or the other and trust me, it’s an awful feeling to have.”
“So, you what Mom? You felt bad, is that it?” Liam scoffs.
“As a matter of fact, that’s what it is. I felt bad. So, I apologized for everything.”
Felt bad? The woman has never felt anything for anyone is such a long time that I hardly think she even knows what human emotions are.
“Are we just supposed to take your word for it, then? I mean, she isn’t here to defend herself against your lies,” I say, watching her, waiting for her next move.
“Julian, you’re perceptive than most. I think you already know that I’m not lying.”
That might be so, but I still can’t shake this weird sensation that has taken root in my gut. My need to find Mia is now a throbbing desperation that I can’t ignore and standing here dancing around my mother’s shitty minefield is a waste of my time, when Mia could be in my arms right now.
“Listen, Mom, I don’t have time for this. I need to know what exactly you said to her.”
“You think I made her leave?” she gasps.
“I know you did,” I state, not caring at all when her face falls. “So why don’t you tell us what you said.”
“Well,” she starts, her eyes shifting from left to right like she doesn’t know where to start. “I sympathized with her about what your father did to her family, for starters.”
“For starters,” Liam sighs, dropping down on the couch. “This is fucking great.”
Cole glances at me with an eyebrow raised. Hmm.
“Since when do you apologize for John’s actions?” I question her, my voice low and smooth. She stills in place, her eyes widening but I ignore her shitty acting. “Why would you bother with that when you hate the man?”
Unless she used that as the anchor to her plans, planting seeds in Mia’s head.
“Julian…”
“Why would you do that?” I step forward, eyeing her, watching for even the slightest twitch in her demeanor. My mother might be many things, but she’s mostly successful at getting what she wants, regardless of who she has to step over to get it. If she wanted Mia gone, then I guarantee that she stomped all over my Little Minx, then kicked her into the pit of her deepest fears.
“I didn’t really apologize on your father’s behalf—there’s no excusing what that bastard did—but I did make sure that she was clear on some things.”
“Things like what?” Liam presses.
“I made sure that she knew she wasn’t safe living under your father’s roof, but I think she knew that when she tip-toed into the house.”
“Tip-toed into the house?” Liam scoffs. “You make it seem like she snuck in here to steal one of your ugly paintings or some shit.” But I’m not concerned about that.
“You told her she wasn’t safe here,” I start, watching my mother as realization sinks in. “Why would you tell her that unless your goal was to make her think that we knew all along what dad was doing?”
“Holy shit,” Cole murmurs, but I go on.
“You lied to her! You made her believe that we were playing her the entire time she was here. That I was playing her.”
“What?” Liam demands, jumping up to his feet, but I just hold my mother’s gaze. It’s all so clear now. She made Liam, Cole and I out to be the big asshole villains in Mia’s book and now, after everything that happened between us, the shit I did and said, she definitely believes the shit my own mother dished out.
“Boys, listen—”
“You made her doubt and question everything that ever happened between us,” I say, cutting her off. “All the real moments, the genuine feelings, the honesty, you made sure to light that shut up and set it on fire.”
My own mother did that, after I confessed to everyone here that she was the love of my life, my mother went on to eviscerate her.
“I needed her, and you lied to her,” I whisper, staring at her like I’m looking at a stranger.
“Julian, I didn’t lie about anything,” Mom whispers, her voice hoarse as if she’s regretting her actions, but I know better. “I just confirmed what she was already thinking.”
“Yeah that we what? Helped Dad destroy another family? Her family?” I demand and she looks away. “You poisoned her against me.”
“Oh, what does it matter now? She’s gone now and you should be able to breathe a little easier now that you have managed to hurt her like she hurt Aiden.”
It’s as if her words have a physical impact on the room. Cole’s jaw practically drops to the floor and Liam gaps at our mother in shock as she finally snaps, revealing her true colors. She isn’t concerned at all about Mia. She doesn’t care what happens to her at all.
“Don’t look at me like I just ran over your puppy. I know for a fact that neither of you like her, so why are you so worked up about her leaving anyway?” Mom questions with a raised eyebrow. “Don’t tell me she was your common bicycle to ride.”
What the fuck?
But before I can say anything, Nicky comes from out of nowhere and literally tackles Mom to the floor with a scream and immediately she starts punching and slapping her. It all happens so fast that for a moment, I’m frozen in place.
“How dare you!” Nicky screams, her voice screechy like that of a wild cat. “Who the fuck do you think you are, bitch?”
Mom starts kicking and hitting back, pulling each other’s hair, spurring me into action. I start pulling Nicky off of mom as Cole pulls Mom away from Nicky.
“You deceitful, malicious bitch!” Nicky shouts, tears running down her face as she fight my hold to get back at my mother. “You have no right to speak about my daughter like that.”
“Your daughter is it?” Mom pants. “I don’t think she looks at you that way. You’re not her mother. Hell, women like you don’t deserve to be mothers.”
“Bitch, I will fuck you up!” Nicky threatens.
“Yes, you go step-mommy!” Liam hollers, a grin on his face as he lays back on the couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table.
“Go ahead,” Mom taunts, shaking out of Cole’s hold, looking all invincible with bleeding scratches on her cheek. “If you feel like letting that white trailer-trash, hood street-justice show, then do it! Just know she’s gone because you didn’t protect her.”
“I didn’t protect her?” Nicky screeches. “I might have not told her I’m her mother but she’s my child, my daughter, I’ll always fight for her. The same can’t be said about you.”
“Watch your mouth, I fight for my family, too,” Mom fires back.
Nicky throws her head back and starts laughing, the tension in her body easing.
“Family?” Nicky starts, her voice taunting. “What family are you talking about, Courtney?”
I don’t know what it is about how Nicky says those words or the malicious smile on her face as she doubles over, peeling in sadistic laughter, but I watch as my mother grows stock-still like a freakin
g statue. Her face smooths into an impassive mask and her eyes harden.
“I suggest you go manic somewhere else before you say something that will hurt you,” Mom threatens, her voice low and soft.
“Ah, there she is!” Nicky shouts. “There is the real Courtney Fitz-bitch! The woman who pretends to be all about family when she has never cared about said family in her entire miserable life.”
“Nicky…” Mom growls, but Nicky goes on like she didn’t say anything.
“I mean, do your children even know the truth?” Nicky says, cutting Mom off. “Do they know that about Aiden.”
Aiden?
Liam sits up straight now, his feet off the table.
“Shut your damn mouth,” Mom warns as she takes a step closer to Nicky who watches her right back.
“You are a coward. You dig other people’s lives up, then exploit their weaknesses, destroying families and relationships without a care in the world.”
“I’m warning you…”
“But you’re nothing more than a well-dressed liar. The only gold-digging bicycle I see here is you,” Nicky seethes. “You have no right to tell me about motherhood, seeing as you despised Aiden.”
“Shut up!”
“You hated him from the day John brought him home.”
What? John brought Aiden home? What does that mean?
“I swear if you don’t shut up,” Mom swears, but Nicky just scoffs, unperturbed.
“Do your boys know that Aiden was their half-brother, Courtney?”
“What the fuck?” Liam gasps, looking wildly between Mom and Nicky, then to me, denial so bright in his widened eyes, but Nicky isn’t done, not by a long shot.
“Do they know about what you did to Aiden when the poor boy was only seven years old? Do they know what you did, just so you could teach John a lesson?” Nicky questions, her voice so low, ominous and menacing.
What is she talking about? I was three years old and Liam was only a toddler when Aiden was that age. My mind starts racing, my heart palpitating in my chest like it’s about to give.
Aiden….
Something dark and painful is at the recesses of my mind, I can feel it hovering over me, like a distant memory flitting across my mind, demanding to be let free. The blood in my veins simmers, I can hear the almost violent swishing as my vision narrows until it’s like I have tunnel vision focused now on my mother.
Cruel Kisses: It’s Just High School #2 Page 7