“I’m not leaving you alone, you’re my everything, Mia,” she whispers.
“But this is all my fault, I put you in this situation…”
“No, baby, this has been a dark dance of time, and with Nancy gone and some truths revealed, the ugly will come out and play and I will be damned if they hurt you.”
Who?
“I know you love that boy, and maybe he might feel something for you, but he isn’t good for you.”
Julian. He did this. He’s more or less the reason I’m being pulled away from my life.
Anger starts coursing through my veins with the sorrow that grips my heart like a tight vice.
“I can’t do this.”
“Yes, you can, baby,” she says, pulling away from me, then she looks me in the eyes. “You’re the very best of me. Always know that from the beginning, it was always you.”
She pulls away and rushes toward the screen doors that lead outside and opens the door.
“Please…”
“Mia, go! Go down the beach, and then up the side trails to your car. Run as fast as you can, don’t stop for anyone.”
“But…” I start arguing, but Nicky runs out of patience. She grabs my hand and tugs it forcefully, pushing me out the door. It’s cold, the wind is howling and I know, the world has just lost a light and I just lost more than that.
I’ve lost everything.
“Now, Mia!”
Then she shuts the door in my face and turns her back to me, and I watch her walk away from me, but then I realize why she turned away when I see the inner door open with a loud bang against the wall that I can hear from out here.
I see my father, looking furious and dark as he walks toward Nicky.
I see him shouting in her face. I see him mouthing my name, and I realize he’s looking for me. I take several steps back until I blend into the darkness. But when I look up, I see my father standing over Nicky’s body sprawled on the floor and I freeze.
He just hit her…
Oh my God.
In that moment I realize something, I’ve seen this before. My father has done something like this before.
Just then, my father looks up, craning his neck out like he’s trying to see something. Is he looking for me? Can he see me? Shit!
In that moment, he turns around and walks out of the room. I’m tempted to go back and bang at the door and demand that Nicky let me in, but I see her sitting up straight, and she looks in my direction and shakes her head, waving her hand for me to go.
With tears running down my cheeks and a numbness I know I won’t be able to shake falling over me, I turn around and run, leaving behind everything.
The woman who raised me is dead.
My birth mother loves me.
My father is a monster.
And I… I’m alone.
I run down to the beach but when I get there, I’m hit by this sense of heavy dread, and I come to a stop. I can’t breathe.
I clutch my throat with one hand and start clawing at my chest with the other. I feel like I’m being weighed down. It’s the bag!
I quickly pull it off me, throwing it as far away from me as I can as I pant for breath. I double over, my heart racing wildly.
Why am I running? I can’t leave Nicky in there with my father.
What exactly is going on here?
Nancy is gone…
I gasp and tears start running down my face. I have no idea what time it is but when I hear Julian calling my name, my heart stops. I try to pretend like I didn’t hear him as Courtney’s words and Nicky’s warning ring clear in my head, but Julian doesn’t care.
He ambles over to me with Cole right behind him with an apologetic look on his face. There’s so much mistrust in me right now but I know that anything I do or say right now might put Nicky in danger, so I school my features as best as I can and listen as Julian tears me apart, shredding my broken heart into a million pieces with his drunken slur.
Everything he says washes over me like water off a duck. It doesn’t stick, but it sinks in for some reason.
“You’re corroding…”
Nancy’s dead.
“Your heart is already corroded, empty, rotten…”
“Run Mia!”
“I fucking love you, Mia and you know what? I wish I didn’t,” he shouts, stopping my heart.
I look up into his eyes, the darkness closing in on me and realize one thing, this is the last time I’m ever going to see his gorgeous face. The last I’m going to be around his magnetic pull but the feeling that’s swirling through my veins, tightening my insides, pulsing through my core as an aching coldness freezes my heart…that’s hate.
He says he loves me, but his actions and those of his family prove otherwise.
So, when he turns away and walks away from me, not bothering to look back, I know, I’ll never be able to kiss him again.
SCANDAL! BALLET QUEEN, NANCY MONTAGUE LIED ABOUT HER HEALTH AND FINANCIAL STATUS.
Heartbreaking news today from the world of dance. Beloved darling and one of the greatest benefactors of ballet, the graceful Nancy Montague, a prima ballerina that shook the world when she first started dancing , is reported to be terminally ill.
Leaked medical reports have shown that Nancy was diagnosed with ALS three years ago—but never came out publicly about her deteriorating health.
A reliable source close to the Montagues has assured us that the situation is really bad. Nancy’s health seems to have worsened over a very short period of time and now, it won’t be long until Nancy Montague has to take her final bow. It just won’t be on her beloved stage where she enchanted the world with her unmatched dance skills.
But the question now is, why didn’t she come out with this? Is it because she wanted to guarantee her royalties? Or did her pride get in the way? Which is such a shame, she could have been a great ambassador for the ALS community.
Young ballerinas, pay attention, this is not the way to go. Lies will stain a good legacy but as we might remember, that’s not all the skeletons the queen of ballet has in her now dusty closet.
NANCY MONTAGUE, A MODERN EXAMPLE OF DISHONESTY IN THE WORLD OF DANCE.
This is not the first time the coveted world of dance has had a scandal or two, but this is the first we’ve heard of a reigning queen who doesn’t know when to be upfront about her health issues all in the name of keeping her crown.
It’s broken, Nancy, let the young ones have their turn now. We do wish you well in your fight against ALS.
NANCY MONTAGUE’S SECRETS & UNFORTUNATE ENDING
Nancy Montague and her husband of thirteen years, Nathan Montague, are rumored to have divorced after the family filed for bankruptcy. A source in Palos Verdes, where the couple made their home, has confirmed that Nathan was unemployed for quite a while, even though he’s a lawyer.
But one has to wonder, what ever happened to the Montague family assets? It is also reported that Nathan abandoned his sick ex-wife and only child, a daughter, Mia Montague, for greener pastures.
This, my dear readers, is an unfortunate modern-day reminder for all you ugly ducklings that the clock will strike midnight sooner or later for even the most beautiful. And the fairytale—though elaborate and untouchable it is—will come to a bitter end.
Take a bow, Nancy. My condolences to the daughter. I hope she’s nothing like her parents.
5
The next morning…
She’s not gone.
She’s going to come back.
She has to come back to me.
I silently repeat the useless affirmations to myself, but the roaring of my blood rushing in my veins says otherwise.
The truth is, she IS gone, and it might as well be all my fault.
I said some things last night that I shouldn’t have, combine that with the fact that my Little Minx had just lost the woman she’s called her mother all her life, kind of puts me in another Facebook group for Cold, Heartless Assholes Unlimited.
; But running? Mia would make the devil run with one of her perfectly executed sweet but fake smiles that made her eyes harden yet sparkle all at the same time. She was the stuff most didn’t want to mess with. She was strong and all this time I believed she’d be the one to make me run with her sharp tongue, not the other way round.
This doesn’t match her character. Right?
“It just doesn’t make any sense,” I grit out, gripping my hair so tight I might tear it out. I remember the way she ran her delicate fingers through my hair, her aquamarine eyes so intense like a liquid blue fire as I fucked her, my dick pounding into her tight pussy over and over again. How could we go from fucking—no, making love—to this?
“I know, man,” Cole says solemnly. “Liam isn’t taking this well.”
“He’s angry as hell with me.”
“Don’t do that,” Cole warns. “Don’t blame yourself, we don’t know what happened.”
“Yes, we fucking do. I said some shit to her when she needed me to hold her. She needed me and I…”
I drove her away. Added firewood to that burning inferno in her head that tells her she’s unwanted and unloved. And now she’s out there. All alone.
“Listen man, for all we know, she just went out for a drive. I mean, her car is gone, her room is still intact, nothing seems to be missing.”
“Out for a drive? Are we talking about the same Mia who would rather insult a person to within an inch of their life?”
“Yeah, that was the Mia that was still in control of her world,” he says, pacing now, worry etched on his face. “A girl who still had the woman who raised her alive and still breathing. That girl didn’t just find out that your father…”
“Messed up her life,” I finish, anger making the veins in my arms pop out. I want to pummel something, preferably my father but I just can’t shake this feeling in my gut.
“Where would she go?” I question. Something isn’t right here.
“I don’t know, did you check her old house, the one your mother bought just to spite her?” Cole scoffs. I don’t fault the anger in his voice. I’m pissed at hell too and I have no clue why my parents would do that shit.
“She’s not there, she isn’t in any of the places I’d expect her to be, hell even the last places she’d go, I still checked.”
Cole sighs, shaking his head. “Maybe Little Liam is having better luck.”
Yeah, somehow, I doubt that.
Just then, Liam storms into the room, a thunderous look on his face. He marches over to me and I prepare myself, waiting for the inevitable swing of his fist to my face.
“Have you been online, you asshole?” Liam seethes, then punches my jaw. I reel back, grit my teeth and stare at my brother not knowing what to say.
“Whoa, calm down buddy,” Cole rushes to block Liam.
“She never wanted her family shit to be aired out like dirty laundry and now they’re ripping her apart on there,” Liam shouts. Fuck.
I massage my jaw but honestly, I’m fucking relieved that he did that. This kind of pain is better than what’s happening inside my chest.
“Liam—” I start but he cuts me off.
“She’s gone. Her mother is dead and it’s all your fault!” he points at me then pushes away from Cole, starting to pace. Cole glances at me but I look away, walking over to the window as I silently look out at the beach where I last saw her.
How did I not see the pian in her eyes? How could I have been so selfish?
Behind me, someone switches on the large TV and just like Liam said, the commentators are talking about Nancy. Earlier it was all about how sick she was, now, they’re just displaying all her supposed failures, the divorce, how broke their family is… shit I hope Mia isn’t listening to this shit.
“How the fuck did they get all this information?” Cole questions, pissed off.
“Really?” Liam scoffs. “That’s what you’re concerned about right now?”
“It’s a valid question, bro,” Cole says. There’s something about the way he says that, that has me turning around to look at him.
“Why?” I question. I can see the wheels turning in his head. He rings his fingers together like he’s trying to piece a complex puzzle together.
“I mean, think about it,” he starts, muting the TV. “Nancy has been sick for years, she got divorced and I assume they have been bankrupt for a while, but Mia managed to keep a lid on that shit.”
“So what?” Liam asks, his eyebrow raised. My body is tense, ready to see if my best friend is thinking what I’ve been trying to figure out since I woke up.
“So, why now?” Cole questions, looking between Liam and I. “Why are they talking about her illness now when she just passed last night? Someone obviously leaked that shit, and whoever that person is, they don’t know that Nancy passed away last night.”
“Well, that isn’t a hard one, is it, Sherlock?” Liam says sarcastically. “If you’re looking for someone with that kind of grudge, someone that will go to the ends of the earth just to hurt a person, I suggest you look no further than this house. I think you’ll find it full to the brim with haters that can’t let shit go.”
“I didn’t fucking do this!” I explode, unable to hold my tongue anymore. I don’t know how to do this without giving in to my anger or exposing myself like I did with her the other night, showing her every part of me. And now… she’s gone. “You think I don’t fucking want her back? How do you think it makes me feel to wake up and know that I fucked up?”
“Yeah? Am I supposed to believe that you actually care for her now? That you wouldn’t rather see her get a taste of her own medicine, something like your version of poetic justice?” Liam fires back.
“What happens between me and Mia is none of your fucking concern,” I grit out, wanting so bad to punch my brother, but I don’t.
“It concerns me when she’s the only one who actually trusts me with myself!” he shouts. “She doesn’t look at me like I’m a liability that’s going to destroy her life. She doesn’t keep information about how my older brother died. She has never looked at me with distrust.”
The fuck?
“Is that what you think of me?” I question. “You think I look at you like you’re a liability? To who? Me? You think I don’t trust you?”
Tense silence falls over us as we stare at each other. It feels like a cold breeze just wafted in the room but neither of us will back down, both of us too stubborn to look away. We’re at the very peak of this fucking mountain, faced with the truth that neither of us wants to face.
“Fuck, J, what do you expect me to think, huh?” Liam says, pacing from one end of the room to the other. “You make it seem like I’m irresponsible, like I can’t handle myself.”
“Liam, calm down man,” Cole says, stepping closer to him, but Liam isn’t done.
“You’re always breathing over my shoulder, getting in the way of my life like you don’t trust me with my own life. You’re controlling—”
“That’s because I don’t want to lose you, damn it!” I shout. Both Cole and Liam freeze looking up at me. “Aiden is dead, Liam. He’s gone! You’re my brother, I won’t fucking apologize for protecting you.”
Liam grips his hair, his fists clenched so tight, the knuckles are red. I sigh, and look away, pain slicing me seven ways to hell. How can one girl awaken so many demons in just a matter of weeks? How can kissing her, wanting her, needing her bring out all this shit to light?
“Aiden is gone, that’s true,” Liam starts. “There isn’t a fucking day that has gone past that I haven’t thought of that. It’s been thirteen weeks to the day since he died, and I haven’t once heard you talk about him. Is it your guilt eating at you? The fact that you unplugged him, ending his life?”
Fuck.
“Okay, Liam, that’s enough,”Cole mutters.
“No, Cole. I’m not fucking done,” Liam seethes, looking at me. “Tell me something, big bro,” he mocks. “How many lives are your responsible for
destroying, huh?”
If he punched me again, or pummeled my face in, it wouldn’t hurt me as much as this does. I wouldn’t feel sick to my fucking stomach like this. I wouldn’t feel like ripping out my own heart and setting it on fire.
He doesn’t need to clarify on that. I know what he means.
Aiden.
Sandra.
Now, Mia…
I have blood on my hands.
Something dark and sinister snakes down my spine, as visions of Sandra lying dead in my arms flits through my head mixed with images of Mia, crying as I told her that she has a rotten heart.
“Fuck!” Liam blows a breath, shaking his head. “I didn’t mean to say that.”
“You did,” I murmur.
“Still, fuck, I’m just…” He trails off. “I’m worried about her, okay. Something isn’t right and I don’t want to fight with you. I want to find her.”
Because you care for her? Or because of something more?
I hate the vicious thoughts rattling around in my head but I can’t help it. Couple that with the way my brother is looking at me right now? I’ll never forget it probably for the rest of my life.
We’ve worked so hard to keep our relationship honest, and in a good place always. He’s my brother, I can’t have bad blood with him. I just can’t, not even for Mia. He and Aiden have been under my protection but it’s obvious I failed. Hell, I didn’t just fail, I managed to make my brother hate me.
I guess that’s what happens when you care, when you love, it’ll come back and destroy you one way or another.
“You’re right to resent me,” I start. “You’re right to think I’m the worst human to ever exist.”
“J,” he says, frustration etched so well on his face, he looks like he’s on the verge of having a stroke.
He got his cast taken off yesterday, but he has bags under his eyes, and he looks worn out. It’s her fault. When I get her back, I’m going to tie her to my bed and make that ass red for all this heartache and worry.
“I didn’t mean that…” he says, but I cut him off, keeping my voice low but hard.
Cruel Kisses: It’s Just High School #2 Page 6