That angers him all over again because he grabs the back of my neck and brings me closer to him where he kisses me again, but this time I fight, but he kisses me even harder, then bites my lower lip, making a small moan escape my lips.
Oh, my freaking God.
When he pulls back to look at me, I swear I shiver in my seat. I’ve never been looked at the way Julian looks at me. Like he wants me naked and below him right in this moment but at the same time, he wants to worship and adore the hell out of me.
“You’re a damn fool to think you’re not mine,” he growls low in his chest, his gaze penetrating into my insides. “You’re mine!”
“I’m not yours.” I aim for strong and independent when I say that, but it all comes out as an insecure, half-bitter, needy question instead. Like I want him to repeat what he just said and tell me that I’m his. Maybe then I’ll finally get a sense of belonging because right now, I’m so lost.
“Yeah, but your body is saying something else completely different,” he says gruffly. “But more than that, Mia, it’s your eyes. They have a story. A story that I won’t fucking allow to hurt you anymore than it already has.”
Oh God, does he know?
“I appreciate that, but unless you can tell me that you didn’t know what your father was doing to my mother—I mean, Nancy—then there’s really no point in venturing down the sink hole, is there?”
“Oh that,” he murmurs, making my jaw drop open.
“Oh that?” I shriek, making heads turn again to look at us, so I drop my voice to heated whisper. “Oh that? You knew?”
“I only find out after you,” he says, looking calm and collected, not at all bothered by the conversation we’re currently having.
“I can’t believe this shit,” I whisper more to myself than to him. Urgh. This isn’t going anywhere. “Please, just go away,” I say, looking away from him and to the window.
“To hell with that,” he growls, turning heads with the viciousness of his voice. Oh God, he doesn’t give a damn that he’s making us that cliché, spectacle on the plane. “I don’t give a damn if you want me here or not, I am here.”
“Well I do give a damn! You’re fucking everything up for me.”
To my horror, my words come out like a choked sob, breaking voice as tears well up in my eyes. I can feel multiple pairs of eyes on us, making my frustration even more acute. “Just go away, leave me alone. I want to be alone.”
“Fuck, Mia,” he says gruffly, cupping my face in his hands, then he presses his forehead to mine, dropping his voice to a low, husky tone that does me in. “Don’t you understand, baby? I can’t stay away from you. Don’t you think that I would have left you alone if I could? It’s messing me up as well.”
I want to wrap my arms around him. I want to say something, but words fail me. Julian pulls back slightly and presses a soft kiss on my forehead that I feel down to my toes.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“How?” I question instead, still stunned that he’s here. “How are you here? How did you know I’d be here?”
“I saw you leave the hotel in a rush like you had just robbed a fucking bank. I knew you were about to run.”
I knew it! I was being followed! It looks like my gut is still on point—which can’t be said about the rest of me.
“But how did you know I’d take this flight?” I mean, I booked the New York flight with my real name and then this one with the identity Nicky gave me.
“You could have been a bit smarter in covering your tracks if that was your goal,” he murmurs, sitting back in his seat, but still looking at me. “I paid the front desk asshole to tell me who you were. Looks like Amy Hazel booked that hotel room.”
The way he says that name though makes me pause. He stares at me as if he’s waiting or something after saying it, but I pretend to be unfazed, like I can’t sense the unspoken question.
“So, this is you extending your stalker tendencies?” I whisper hotly instead. “I don’t want you here.”
“Fuck that shit, Mia,” he growls. “You had me losing my damn mind these past few days. I couldn’t find you, couldn’t get to you. I was worried sick out of my mind with not finding you and you were what? Being a fucking coward, running away from your shit?”
I hate the way he says that because it hits me straight in my chest because it’s true. I was being a coward. I still am.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I murmur, looking away.
“Then tell me, goddamn it, Mia!” he curses, running a hand through his hair again, the frustration on his face making everything in me ache. “Tell me! Make me understand. Show me where you’re bleeding and let me stop it.”
“You can’t make it stop!” I shout, causing a few heads to turn around to look at us. Urgh, I hate this.
“Little Minx…” he starts, his voice dropping to a soft, intimate tone that completely undoes me.
“Julian, please,” I plead with a hoarse voice, looking away from him. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Silence stretches between us for a long second or maybe it was minutes and then hours, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he gets up and grabs his coat. Then he opens the overhead compartment and grabs my bag, then he looks at me, holding out his hand.
“What are you doing?” I question, tugging at my sleeves.
“Come with me,” he prompts, staring at me along with almost everyone else in the cabin.
“No,” I whisper, pressing my arms to my sides. Paranoia and anxiety take root square in the middle of my chest. My mind starts racing I don’t want Julian to see what I did to myself. I don’t what him to know how weak and pathetic I am.
“Mia.” I don’t know how he manages to make my name sound like a warning and a curse all at the same time, but I stare at home uncertain. Let’s go.”
Looking at his outstretched hand now does something to my insides. Couple that with the look in his eyes, as if daring me to refuse him, to deny him this. If I do deny, I know two things.
I’ll be signing over all the rights I have to my dignity because he will definitely make a spectacle again if I don’t.
Denying him right now would translate into a lot of different things. It’ll mean that I don’t feel what’s going on between us. It’ll mean that I don’t want him in the way he wants me. It’ll mean that I don’t trust him but all of that are lies. I feel everything. I want him so much, it’s almost as if I want to crawl inside his heart and soul and die there. And finally, against my better judgement and common sense, I feel so damn safe with him it’s terrifying.
So, with multiple pair of eyes on us and the flight attendants watching on, but not daring to approach us, I tug my sleeve and make sure my wrists are covered, then place my hand in his, standing up.
Triumph lights up in his eyes, then he tugs me closer to him and kisses me. It’s a light, chaste kiss but I feel it all over my body. He tugs me down the aisle, passing rows upon rows of curious, wandering eyes but I just keep my focus on his back.
Okay, new journey, let’s see what you got for me and how you’re about to fuck me over this time.
15
After what feels like a million years of bone chilling coldness, she’s finally with me.
I don’t know how to explain the rush of feelings that are now ravaging my insides. My chest feels so damn tight, my heart is fucking racing out of control, pounding away like it wants out of there and all I want to do is stare at her and make sure this is real because fuck, it feels like she’s going to disappear right in front of my eyes.
Electricity runs through my arm as I tug her with me and for the millionth time since I saw her at that hotel, I want to kiss her, hold her, be inside her so deep that she’ll never think of running away from me.
Just wait, asshole. You can’t jump her bones right now and definitely not with her in this state. She’s sad, you asshole, be there for her!
But I can’t wait. I’m at that fuckin
g point where I think I need her too much. Like she literally controls me at this point.
There was a time where all I cared about were my brothers and now, one is six-feet under—I failed to really protect him when I thought I was—and the other currently hates me.
And he’ll hate you even more for finding Mia and not letting him know, you asshole.
I knew that, sure, but in this moment, with Mia’s soft hand in my calloused large one, I can proudly say, I don’t give a shit.
Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a sweet reunion. If anything, I feel like I’m just taking her to our battlefield where we’ll fight to the death. But the key word here is ‘ours.’
This, this moment, it’s ours and it’ll always be ours.
“Where are we going, Julian?” Her softly worded question does something to my chest and leaves me barely breathing. I know she’s anxious. I can also feel her fear and sadness so intensely, like it’s gripping me by the throat, reducing me to a pile of worthlessness.
This… the uncertainty in her voice, the distraught look on her face, it wouldn’t be there if I had just been there when she needed me.
“We’re almost there,” I say, rubbing my thumb over her hand, trying to sooth her.
“Mr. Fitzgerald,” one of the flight attendants greets when we get to our destination at the end of the plane in a restricted area they never allow passengers to get to.
“Is everything ready?” I question, tightening my hold on Mia’s hand when she tries to let go.
“Yes, sir,” the guy says. “I trust you’ll find everything to your liking, sir.”
Ass kisser. He probably thinks he’s about to get a fat raise or something. Too bad I’m not easily swayed with ‘going-above-and-beyond’ bullshit like my father.
“For your sake, I hope so.” I move past him and open the door, standing aside to let Mia get in first.
“Whoa,” she whispers, looking around with wide eyes, taking in the blue lights and the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. The space has been furnished with a mini bar with two stools, a sizable bed at the side and just off the room, there’s a small washroom. “What the hell is this?”
The place where you and I are going to be enclosed for ten plus hours, which means I want you to either scream my name or tell me the truth. If you can manage both, that would be great as well.
“Initially, it was one of the storage rooms until its full potential was realized, especially when one values his or her privacy.”
“Privacy?” she questions, turning around to look at me. “Potential?”
“This airline is owned by my family,” I admit, and she tilts her head at me.
“Well fuck.”
My sentiments exactly but in this very moment, I’d be a fool to look my gift horse in the mouth and curse it. If anything, right now I owe my dad big time.
“I didn’t know commercial airlines have… these,” she whispers, looking around in awe.
“They don’t. Well, that’s the official shit they’ll tell you anyway,” I say, putting her backpack and my coat down on the bed.
“So, this place doesn’t exist?” she questions, and I know she’s rambling. Mia doesn’t care about the damn room.
“It doesn’t,” I answer, watching her closely. She looks different. Hell, she even feels different.
Something happened—no—something is happening to her and I fucking don’t like it.
“Well, it’s pretty.”
“Okay.”
I take a step closer to her and she watches me with a weary look on her face that almost makes me pause as I stare at her.
Fuck I hate this. Since when does she cower to people and question her own strength?
But most importantly, who the fuck messed with her head enough to plant seeds that have grown into this kind of lethal poison, where she sees herself as less than and undeserving?
Who messed with the love of my fucking life?
“I like the glow in the dark stars and the blue lights,” she says, taking a step away from me when I take one closer to her.
“Good.”
I see her watching me, tracking me. I see the worry in her eyes. I see the way her bottom lip that I just tasted is trembling. I see her, so I stop moving. She does too.
“So, we’re totally alone back here?”
We stare at each other and I know one wrong move from me, and I’ll lose her. I don’t want that. I’m going to try and be what she needs right now and what I know to do, is be an asshole she’s familiar with.
“The walls are not fully soundproof, if you’re planning to take full advantage of me.”
She tries to crack a smile, but her lips wobble instead as her eyes well up with tears, her body shaking slightly.
Shit.
“Come here, Little Minx,” I mutter, keeping my voice low, almost a rasp. I see her eyes widening again, her body starting to tremble but that tense set of her shoulders melts away. Good.
She shakes her head vehemently, her lips pressed tight, her nose scrunched up like she’s fighting not to cry.
Fighting her emotions.
Fighting herself.
She’s hesitant but I can see her coming to life, those aquamarine eyes that reel me every single time, gazing at me with so much, so soon.
“Come here, Mia.”
That thing in my chest is racing again, beating so hard that if you listen closely above the hum of the plane’s engines or the barely noticeable sound of flying above the clouds, you can hear it hammering away.
I don’t want to repeat myself and I don’t want to scare her. I want her to come to me, to give herself fully to me, to trust me with herself, so I wait, forcing myself to be patient with her.
God knows even when she has hated me—hell, she might hate me right now—she was still patient with me.
“Mia,” I say gruffly, ignoring the hint of vulnerability in my own voice. “I won’t hurt you, baby,” I whisper and this time, she moves.
Taking hesitant steps toward me, I watch as she trembles, but never looks away from me which shows me one thing. No matter what, she’s still got her fight in her and I know what I must do from here on out to coax it out.
I don’t give a damn about what her real name is, her identity as far as I’m concerned won’t change how insanely I feel about her.
When she’s right in front of me, I open my arms out wide. She gasps as if choking on a cry, then she jumps into my arms almost immediately, her body melting into mine. Fuck, my body is trembling with relief.
This, right here, this is us.
She wraps her arms around me so tight and all I can do is feel her against me.
I can fee her heart race, matching mine, can feel the tremors passing through her body and into mine. I stand there and feel with her. Because I need this as much as she does.
“Julian,” she cries into my chest and I can’t stand it any longer. I pick her up and she wraps her legs around me. I take her to the bed and gently put her down buts he doesn’t let go. If anything, she wraps her legs tighter around me, her arms around my neck, holding on like a koala bear.
“Baby,” I groan, my voice laced with pain, hugging her to me like this is the last time I’ll ever get to have her in my arms.
“Please don’t let go,” she cries, and I die right there.
“Never, baby,” I say huskily. “I’ll never let you go.
God, how did things get to this place? How does shit go from nuclear hate to I’ll set this world on fire just to get to you? It’s her. She’s everything.
“God, I missed the hell out of you,” I groan, lying us down on our sides so I can hold her to me. “It’s been hell, baby. Absolute hell.”
For the first time in days, I allow myself to let go of everything that’s been destroying me little by little. Every shitty thing that has brought us to this moment. I shred it from my shoulders. I just hope she lets me take it off her as well.
The shit with dad and everything he told
me about Mia, Nathan, her childhood, the shit about me and… fuck.
Then there was Mia leaving.
The truth about Aiden and how my own mother treated her.
Unable to find Mia.
The widening rift between my brother and me.
It’s been hell…
“I missed you, too,” she whispers, still crying. I hold her even tighter to me. If it were possible to become one with someone in a way that they’ll never leave you again, I’d do that with her. “I’ve been so alone.”
Fuck.
It’s the raw pain in her voice that does me in.
I have no idea if I’ve ever shed a single tear in my life, but right now, the anger coursing through my veins and the lost, vacant look in her eyes… it’s about to bring me to tears.
“I got you now, baby,” I whisper, roaming my hands up and down her body, my blood rushing straight to my dick.
Fuck, I need her.
“Julian…” She peers up at me and in that moment, I give in to this primal need in me to claim her, to make her mine again. Swooping down, I plant my lips over hers, kissing her again.
This time, this isn’t a cruel kiss, but I can’t help but feel that this is different somehow.
Her kisses are different now. A bit firmer, like she’s not sure if this is real or not. A lot bitter, like she’s punishing me for my sins, but still dirty like her. She palms my face in her hands, deepening the kiss, letting me know that she wants this. And I aim to deliver.
She makes these mewing sounds that make my heart race faster, my cock swelling between us, I know she can feel it pressing against her stomach.
I shift to lay her down in the bed, still kissing her as I do. I roam her body, desperation clawing at my insides, but I’m trying my fucking best not to rush this. I don’t want to mess this up or scare her.
I go to slow down, but she makes this protesting sound, holding on to me tighter, I can feel her hard nipples against my chest.
“Fuck.”
Everything becomes a sort of race. I kiss down her throat, undoing the drawstring of her joggers as I go and slip a hand in to find her pussy wet, clenching and waiting for me.
Cruel Kisses: It’s Just High School #2 Page 17