by Rye Brewer
I shifted my focus out over the crowd. “Thanks again. If anything else further develops, I’ll let you know.” They didn’t seem satisfied, and I couldn’t shake the feeling I was letting them down, but there was nothing else for me to do. I watched as they walked away and hoped I hadn’t done something wrong.
Scott helped me down from the table, and I considered asking him if Sara was okay but then thought twice about it. He might accuse me of being catty, when that was the last thing I was trying to be. I only wanted to be sure she was all right—if she was spending time with my brother, I needed to know she was okay.
“You did a good job,” he said.
“I wish I felt like I did.” I looked around at the dispersing crowd and remembered the last time I’d spoken to them like this, when I sent them out to look for my brother. Then, I’d felt a strong energy coming from them. We had been together, united in a task. I’d felt strong and capable. All I felt now was like a failure.
Vance had been here that first time. I couldn’t help scanning the room for him, searching for his hoodie. I almost wished he had sneaked in to watch me again. But no. I didn’t see him as the room emptied out. My heart sank even further. I wasn’t sure it could get any lower than it was.
“We’re going back up to the penthouse. You coming?” Scott took Sara’s hand. I couldn’t help feeling a little jealous. They had each other. All I had was Vance, who I’d left at the cathedral and over-possessive Sledge. Vance might have been torn to ribbons by that female vampire’s claws for all I knew. She seemed like the type.
I shook my head. “I don’t think so. I need to walk. There’s too much up here right now.” I pointed to my head.
“Are you sure you’ll be safe?”
“Plenty sure. I’ll see you later.” I walked out, desperate for fresh air—as fresh as it could get in Manhattan, anyway. I went straight to the hall just off the assembly room, running my hand along the wall as I did. I was alone. Nobody saw when I found the single brick that was out of place. I pressed that brick, and a doorway opened up, a segment of the wall sliding back to reveal the alley beside the building. With one more look around me, I slipped out, closing the wall behind.
“Took you long enough.”
I jumped in surprise, whirling around with my hand over my chest, my teeth bared.
Vance smiled down at me, and I wished my heart wouldn’t skip a beat every time he appeared like this.
“Thanks for scaring me half to death,” I breathed, bending a little at the waist with my hands on my knees. “Was that your plan?”
“Something like that.” There was no humor in his voice.
“Well, thanks. And thanks for potentially stirring up trouble by being here.” I straightened up, placing my hands on his chest with the intention of pushing him away.
Instead, he caught my wrists and held them tight. We stared each other down for what felt like forever, with me wishing all the while the butterflies in my stomach would calm down.
He released me, taking a step back. I looked him up and down.
“Where’s your girl?” I asked.
“Where’s your guy?”
I winced. “Why are you here?”
His expression changed. He wasn’t trying to antagonize me anymore. That one little shift was enough to strike fear in my heart.
“He’s gone.”
“What?” My pulse froze. “You mean Gage?”
He nodded. “I thought you’d want to know.”
“I don’t get it.” And I had told everyone inside he was safe. Damn it. I leaned against the wall, one hand on my forehead. It was all too much. “Where would he go? Do you know? Did he tell you?”
“Remember, I wasn’t supposed to know he was there. He would never tell me where he was going.”
I stood up straight and tall, hands on my hips. “Oh, really? You don’t know what your father did to him?”
He blinked. “What makes you think he did anything? What’s this all about?”
I tried to decide if he meant it, or if he was playing dumb. He was pretty good at that. But no, I knew him well enough to know when he meant it. And he meant it. He had no idea what I was talking about. He still thought his father was honorable. I had the feeling his bubble would burst someday soon.
“I can’t believe this. He wouldn’t run. Not after…” I stopped speaking when I realized how close I was to revealing his plan. “It’s just impossible,” I muttered. How would I find him? Who was he with? It was sheer luck that brought me to him in the first place.
Vance shrugged. “I’m only telling you what I know. Like I said, I thought you would want to know, too.” He turned like he was ready to leave.
I couldn’t let him go like this, so I reached out and touched his arm.
“Why are you moving to New York? I mean, really. Why are you doing it?” I wanted him to tell me he was breaking free of his father. After what Gage told me, I hated to think of Vance being part of his clan’s business even by name.
“Will you keep it a secret?”
The breath caught in my throat. Not what I had expected to hear. “Sure.”
He looked around like he was making sure we were alone before replying. When he did, he leaned closer. I was up against the wall. I could go no farther. He placed one hand just above my head and loomed over me. I hated the way my knees went weak.
“I’m taking a position with the League’s Special Ops Unit.”
I was speechless. Law enforcement? Special Ops? Him? Talk about the last vampire I would ever consider a candidate for a position like that. When I regained the ability to speak, I sputtered, “Why’s it a secret?”
He pressed his lips together, sighing through his nose. “Because I’ll be undercover.”
“Undercover?” That added a whole other level to the job. I was a little worried for him—it sounded rather dangerous. “Does your father know?”
He shook his head. “He would try to block it if he did. I know him.”
“How can he not know? He’s head of the league, right?”
“Right, but only the identity of the head of the Special Ops Unit is known to the league. It’s an old rule they put in place ages ago. It keeps the members of the unit from potential corruption or collusion.”
Well, that made me a lot more confident in the leadership we had in place. Was there even a potential for such a thing? Would they stoop to collusion or worse, if necessary?
He continued, “Meanwhile, on the inside, we only know the other guys on our team and the one member we answer to directly. Our handler. Otherwise, the way the organizational ladder is set up isn’t something we’re privy to. They keep us in the dark for a reason.”
“Wow,” I breathed. It was the only thing that seemed to sum up how I felt. Undercover. Secrecy. It was enough to take my breath away.
“Now you know. And like I said, I expect you to keep it a secret.”
I nodded, chewing my lip. “There’s one more question I need you to answer.” When he nodded, I asked, “Will you be in danger?”
A smile played over his lips. “And if I said yes, would that persuade you to see me again? You know, just in case something was to happen?”
I had to laugh. “You’re the worst, you know? You can never drop it, can you?”
“No, ma’am.”
I looked him in the eye, prepared to tell him off once and for all. That little performance in the tower had only reminded me of why I’d dumped him. But instead of exploding on him like I wanted, a single tear overflowed onto my cheek.
“We already tried once, remember?” I asked in a shaky voice. I felt my chin trembling as I struggled to maintain composure. “I won’t be a fool twice. Do you understand what I’m trying to say? For once and for all. I won’t let you hurt me again.”
He gave me a sad smile as he touched the tear that had landed on my cheek.
I gasped a little in the back of my throat at the surge of electricity that passed between his fingertips an
d my face.
I wanted his touch more than anything—except never letting him hurt me again.
He didn’t say a word, not even to defend himself. He only slid his finger over my skin as he trailed the tear down to my jaw.
Epilogue
Vance
I took off, leaving her behind, and, with her, I left the key to my heart, to my soul.
This redheaded beauty I gave my heart to ages ago kills me. She downright kills me.
I never cheated on Philippa. Hell, I couldn’t have. Not a chance.
But I had to get her out of my life at that point. I had to do what I needed in order to keep her safe from anyone who meant her harm.
So, I let her think I cheated. I’ve always let her think that.
Things have changed.
Now, I can be with her and I know I can keep her safe.
Except there seems to be another in the competition for her heart—Sledge.
I punched a brick wall, wishing it was the burly vampire who clearly was head over heels for my girl.
She’d always be my girl.
Hopefully, one day, she’ll see it.
Keep reading for an excerpt from the next book in the League of Vampires.
Absolution
Ancient enemies, newfound coalitions.
Anissa’s not about to take Jonah’s decision to face his enemies alone. This former slayer isn’t your average sit on the sidelines kind of girl.
New heroes, not so new archenemies.
Fane wants forgiveness and allegiance, but not at the cost of the ones he loves most. Certainly, not at the expense of an new soul that is joining his cadre.
Needs rarely line up with wants.
Philippa’s feelings for Vance won’t be the end of her, but will they be the end of a loved one
1
Jonah
Images flashed through my mind, based on what Fane had told me.
His words rang in my ears still. “It goes back centuries, the history I have with Lucian. All the way back to when I was a human, named Dommik.”
Dommik. When he’d been my father. Not Fane, the vampire legend that he was now
His words and those images in my mind mixed with memories of my childhood, back when I was human. We had been so happy. We were still happy after we’d been turned—and I could remember that clearly, like the end of one life and the beginning of another—but it was a different sort of happiness.
We couldn’t live simply anymore. We had a clan to think about. A much bigger family than what we’d known before then.
And all because of Lucian’s hatred and obsession.
The cool air suddenly felt freezing cold. Even the brand on my arm barely registered on my consciousness, which was saying something, seeing as how the burning was all I could think about when it first appeared and flared up, as if a design had been burned into my skin with a cattle branding iron.
There had been times when Lucian seemed fake, hadn’t there? When his smile had faltered a little, or I’d seen emptiness in his eyes. That last meeting of the League of Vampires, the way he’d stood there like a deity, absorbing the appreciation of the vampires in attendance. False modesty.
I tried to tell myself I was only remembering things through the lens of what Fane —who I’d recently learned was my father—had told me. It was easy to do that, wasn’t it? To let new information color memories? I had to be fair. Didn’t I?
Yet… Lucian had turned my mother into a vampire. He set my family on its path, changed the direction of our lives.
Sure, I would be long dead by now if he hadn’t, but I would’ve lived a human life. As complicated as humans thought their lives were, their issues were nothing compared to what we vampires faced. There had been times, especially after losing my parents, when I’d wished we’d never been turned. I wouldn’t have had to live endless decades never knowing what happened to the people I loved most in the world.
Fane didn’t try to comfort me or ask if I had any questions. He only stared at me the way a father would gaze at his son after missing so much of his life.
“I’m staring,” he said with a slight smile. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s all right. It doesn’t bother me.” I studied him.
Funny how he resembled my father and sounded like my father but was different. Something about his eyes, maybe, or the way he held himself. A hardness? What had he seen since he left us?
“Where is the h—the girl?”
He’d almost called Anissa the half-breed again—I could tell—but stopped himself in time.
I decided to let it pass.
“With her father. She’s safe there.”
“You’re sure about that?”
“Of course. I wouldn’t want her to be anywhere I wasn’t sure of her safety. I sent her there to be certain she’s not part of whatever happens next.”
The lines on his brow deepened when he frowned. “You do care for her, don’t you?”
“You doubted it?” Anissa was part-vampire, part-fae and the most amazing woman I’d ever met.
“I didn’t know if it was infatuation or real attachment.”
“I’m not a baby anymore,” I reminded him with a faint smile. “I’ve grown up a lot.”
He nodded. “It’s easy to forget that after all this time apart.”
All this time.
Decades.
Even so, the memory of the pain remained fresh. I would never forget the way life had stopped during those first days, when my siblings and I realized our parents had vanished. No explanation, no clue where they’d gone. Nothing mattered, when all we could think about was our parents and what might’ve happened to them. We’d lived in a sort of limbo where the world kept turning, but we stayed still. And none of us had ever been the same after. Especially not Philippa.
Which brought me to the next matter at hand. “You have to see her.”
His eyebrows shot up. “What? Who?”
I stood and stared at him. “Philippa. You have to see her.”
He appeared defeated. “No. I don’t.”
“Then at least let me tell her you’re still alive.”
He shook his head. “Jonah, I already told you how dangerous that is. Remember? The fewer of you who know I’m alive, the better. I only stayed away this long because I wanted to protect you—I can’t turn my back on the promise I made to myself. If all these years of hiding away were wasted and something were to happen to any of you anyway, I would never forgive myself.”
I glared at him. “I understand. I do. I spent years as head of the clan. I know there are almost no decisions that are easy. There’s always a drawback or a compromise.”
“Not an easy lesson to learn.”
“It isn’t,” I agreed. “I learned it the hard way, over and over.”
He nodded with an understanding smile. “So you see, then. Being away from you all has been torture. It didn’t get any easier as time went on.”
There was pain written all over his face.
I tried to imagine having kids and forcing myself to be away from them. Not merely being apart, but with full knowledge they thought I was dead. It would crush me.
Then again, it had crushed us, never knowing for sure. Especially my sister.
“It didn’t get any easier for us, either, you know. Especially Philippa.” I stared hard at him to get my point across. “She changed. She’ll never go back to being the girl she used to be.”
A shadow crossed his face. “What do you mean?”
“You remember how she used to be—bright, fun, funny. Always teasing and joking. High-spirited.”
“She was a joy,” he murmured.
I knew he was thinking back on the way she could always make him laugh, no matter what sort of mood he was in. They used to go on and on for hours, playing word games, debating, challenging each other.
She was so quick, so wily. But those qualities were on the surface. She was a brilliant judge of character, too, even at
a young age. It was what made her the ideal advisor for me—she would’ve been his advisor, if he had stayed.
“All that brightness and sweetness went away when you did. I’m not trying to heap guilt on you. I’m really not. But you need to know. She found a way to move on. We all did. We didn’t have a choice. And it changed us all, but none of us changed as much as she did. She has an edge. She’s jaded. She doesn’t trust the way she used to.” My eyes narrowed. “You owe her this much. She deserves to know you’re alive.”
He stared off into the distance. “You said it yourself—sometimes there are difficult decisions to be made. Maybe this will give her some measure of peace, but at what cost? Her safety? Her life?” He raised his hand, as if saying halt. “I can’t allow that.”
I shook my head. “I can’t go back and face her—ever—with this lie hanging over me. I can’t betray her that way. She still loves you so much. You were her hero.”
“The me I used to be,” he uttered. “That’s not who I am anymore.”
“Why don’t you let her be the one to decide that? She’ll be so glad you’re alive it won’t matter.”
It seemed like he was almost ready to give in—I knew the look. He was fighting with himself.
I used the opportunity to gain the upper hand, perhaps twisting the knife a little. “I’ll help find Gage if you go see her.”
“What?” His eyes dilated—the sole sign of his surprise.
“I’ll help, but only if you agree to see Philippa.”
He folded his arms. “Blackmail?”
“If it works, yes.”
He turned away.
I was getting more desperate. “What can I say to get you to understand how important this is? Please. All I can do is ask you to please do this. It’ll mean so much.”
“What if…?” His voice broke, and he cleared his throat. “What if she doesn’t want to see me? What if she hates me for what I did? She always had a temper, and she wasn’t good at letting go of a grudge.”