by Rye Brewer
I pressed my lips together to keep from smiling. “That’s something that hasn’t changed.”
“Sometimes, I think it would be easier to remember her before, the way things were, when she didn’t hate me.”
“I never said she hated you. She doesn’t hate you.”
“You don’t know that. It would be better for her to look back at me the way I was before. She will probably hate me when she finds out. I’m not sure you don’t.”
I ignored that. I wasn’t going to tell him I hated him. I wasn’t going to tell him I didn’t.
Though I didn’t.
With every passing day, I was learning we often had to make decisions that weren’t always easy.
That hit home for me now, stronger than ever, knowing I’d sent Anissa to Avellane to be with Gregor, her father and leader of the fae, knowing she would be pissed. Hopefully, she didn’t hate me—wouldn’t hate me. But still…
He watched me, waiting for a reply, wanting to know.
I gave him one. “Anything is better than not knowing.”
His gaze was steady. “Where should we meet?”
“It’s been a long time since I’ve stood here.” Fane walked to the edge of the roof after stepping through the portal behind me and gazed out over the city.
It was a night like any other—down there, at least.
Not where I stood.
He took a deep breath. “I’ve missed being here. That’s for sure.” He glanced at me from the corner of his eye and smiled. “I spent a lot of time looking over the city, thinking about things whenever I needed to clear my head. I didn’t dare come back.”
“I understand that.”
“I hope your sister does, too.” He seemed nervous for the first time since we met again.
He wasn’t Fane at that moment. It was like being with my father again.
I looked around. Just because we were on the roof didn’t mean we were safe from prying eyes. “You’d better stay out of sight up here. I don’t want anyone seeing you—as either Dommik Bourke, previous leader of the Bourke clan, or Fane.”
“Wouldn’t it be better for me to wait inside, then?”
I shook my head. “I’ll go talk to her first—to warm her up. Please, stay here. Don’t leave.”
“I’ll be right here when you’re ready.”
I hoped he meant it. I would hate to go through what I knew Philippa was going to put me through for him to not be here when I came back for him.
There was noise inside the penthouse. It wasn’t as empty as it was when I was last here.
I listened closely.
Philippa’s chambers.
I hoped she was alone.
It occurred to me as I crossed the living area and walked down the hall that I hadn’t seen her since leaving the league meeting.
I braced myself for what was to come.
She didn’t notice me at first. Her back was to the open door. There was a backpack on the bed, open, and she was shoving things into it, right and left.
I caught a peek when she moved to the side.
Weapons. Several daggers, two handguns, two throwing stars.
She bundled dark clothes in there, too. Jeans, a sweatshirt, a sweater, tees—all in dark gray or black.
I hadn’t known my fashion-conscious sister owned that much plain, dark clothing.
I cleared my throat, and she spun around.
Her posture was defensive, like she was ready for a fight.
I held my hands up. “It’s just me.”
Her fists dropped to her sides. “Oh, Jonah!” she breathed, and, in the blink of an eye, she was throwing herself at me and squeezing me around the neck until I could hardly breathe.
“Easy, easy,” I groaned.
“Where have you been? I didn’t think I’d ever see you again!” She pulled away, holding me at arm’s length so she could take me in. “What have you been doing? Where did you go?”
“One thing at a time. What are you doing? What are you packing for?” I glanced at the backpack. “I mean, it looks a little… stockpiled?”
“I’m so glad you’re back. I have a million things to tell you.” She hurried back to the bed and finished wedging clothes into it before closing the zipper.
“You picked the perfect time to return. I have an errand, so you can take back being the leader and keep these hooligans in line.”
“Wait a minute. I’m not here to lead the clan.”
She stopped and turned slowly toward me. “What’s that again?” Her hands were planted on her hips, and her chin jutted out.
“I’m sorry, but that’s not why I came back here. Besides, I don’t think it’s as easy as just walking back in and saying something like, ‘Hey, I’m back.’”
She still appeared annoyed, but one corner of her mouth disappeared as she chewed on it. “I guess you’re right. Well, I’m still glad you’re here. I’m glad I get to see you and know you’re alive.”
Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. It hadn’t been fair for me to run off without a word—the way our parents had.
“I’m sorry I put you through that. Really. Have you ever, I don’t know, just got caught up in the moment? Did you ever do something you wouldn’t think you were capable of otherwise?”
She sighed. “Yes. I can’t lie.” She glanced at her backpack.
I looked at it, too. “What kind of errand are you going on that you need all that? I saw the weapons, so don’t pretend you didn’t pack them.”
She shook her head the tiniest bit, as if fortifying herself for the answer. “You’re just going to try to talk me out of it.”
“Depends on what it is.”
“No, I know you. You’ll try to tell me it’s wrong.”
“Which makes me wonder even more.” I frowned. “Tell me.”
“What if I told you it has to do with Gage? Like… finding him?” She slid the backpack onto one shoulder then leaned into it as she guided the second strap on.
“Hold on, hold on.” I blocked the doorway. “Seriously? You think you’re going to go searching for him?”
She blinked then regained her composure. “You think you’re going to stop me?”
“No. I know better, and I don’t have the time to waste, either. I need you to stop and think about this first, is all. This is a big job, you know? It’s dangerous.”
“I know. Since when do I ever back down from danger?”
“Never. That’s what’s worrying me the most.”
She tossed her red hair.
I watched it cascade over her backpack. How many times had I seen her do that when she was determined to do something?
Her eyes were piercing, the set of her jaw firm. “You’re not the only one who’s been wrapped up in doing things lately, you know. I’ve really surprised myself in the last few days.”
I smiled. “I believe it. You always rise to the challenge.”
“I have to go now,” she whispered. “I’m sorry if you don’t like the idea.”
“There’s something I need you to do first. It might even make things a little easier for you.”
She raised a brow. “What do you mean?”
I took her by the hand and led her out into the main room, still dark and otherwise empty, toward the glass doors.
“Come on. Trust me.”
“Is it Gage?”
“No.”
She made a sound, something like a sigh of frustration—or anger. “Anissa? Is Anissa out there? Is she with you? Because I don’t think visiting with her is worth spending time on right now.”
When would she ever come around on Anissa? “Stop asking so many questions and come. Anissa is safe where she is.”
“Wait.” She stopped, still shy of the doors. “You left her somewhere? That doesn’t sound like you. I thought you two were attached at the hip.”
I rolled my eyes at the sarcasm in her voice. “Yeah, well, there are things going on right now she doesn’t need to be part of. I don�
�t want her getting hurt or… anything.”
I pulled her again, and the muscles in my forearm flexed—which made my brand sting more than ever. I didn’t bother saying anything about it to her.
I was already about to drop a bomb on Philippa, she didn’t need to be concerned with the brand as well.
“Come on.”
I walked her outside and hoped Fane was still out there.
The wind blew my and Philippa raised a hand to brush a thick, red strand from in front of her face as a dark figure emerged from the shadows.
I stepped back.
She froze, eyes trained on him as he came closer.
“I don’t believe it.” Her voice was barely a whisper.
“Philippa.” His jaw clenched.
She shook her head. “No. This is impossible.”
2
Jonah
I waited to see what she would do. It was like waiting for an animal to make a move—would there be an attack? Would it back down?
She threw herself at him, arms closing around his neck. “Is it really you?”
“It’s me.” He hugged her gently, like he was afraid she would break.
All sorts of conflicting emotions raced across his face before he pulled out of their embrace and stepped back. Their embrace had lasted the time it had taken me to blink. Not nearly long enough.
I groaned quietly to myself.
Then he turned to me. “All right. She knows. Can we go now?”
She stared. “Wait. What’s wrong? You just got here.”
“Yes, but we have something important to do now.”
I winced. Didn’t he have a clue how he sounded?
Her face worked as she processed this. “Are you serious? You’re going to do this to me right now?”
I stepped forward, wishing he’d been a little gentler with her. Maybe bringing him home hadn’t been a good idea, after all. It was one thing to think her father was dead, but another for him to reject her with no explanation.
I put a hand on her arm, wanting to comfort her—or maybe keep her from doing anything rash. “I wanted you to see him. I didn’t want to keep it from you that he was alive.”
She glared at me like I was the one who had broken her heart. “You choose now to tell me? You’re going to do this to me when there’s so much going on? You bring him here like it’s no big deal?” Then, she whirled on Fane. “And you! You just show up out of nowhere, after all this time? And you don’t think to come to us and tell us you’re alive? Jonah had to bring you here?”
Only she wasn’t angry with him. She was hurt and confused. I could hear it in her voice and remembered feeling the same way myself at first.
He sighed. “Philippa, I can explain.”
She held up a hand, and her head hung low. “Please. This is too much at once. I can’t understand why this is happening right now. I mean, all this time? All this time!” Her head snapped up again, and she glared at him. “How could you not tell us you were alive? How could you let us think you were dead?”
“Please. I want to tell you everything, but you have to give me a chance—and we don’t have much time.”
“I don’t have much time, either. Holy hell!” She threw her hands up and spun around then paced back and forth, shaking her head and cursing the entire time. “This is ridiculous. You walk back into our lives like it’s nothing, you show up after all this time and I’m supposed to, what? Hug you? Cry? Tell you how happy I am you’re alive even though I’ve spent all these years trying to get used to the idea of you being dead? Is that what you want from me? Is it?”
“I don’t want anything from you,” he said. “Anything at all. It means so much to see you like this… You look well.”
“Yeah, so do you.” She peered at me then back at him. “So? Are you back, as in back forever? Have you decided to be part of the clan again?”
“No, that can never be. I don’t live in this world anymore.” He glanced at me for help.
“Philippa… this is Fane.” I held my breath and waited.
Her face contorted in disbelief as she shook her head so hard her hair flipped back and forth over her shoulders. “No. That can’t be true. Not our father. Fane isn’t a normal creature. I mean, he’s practically a myth. This?” She gestured to him. “This is Dommik Bourke.”
“It’s true, Philippa.” His voice was firm, sharp.
Her head snapped around to face him.
“This is who I am.”
“How? How could you do that? How?” she shrieked. “You’re somebody else now? You simply stepped out of your life and decided to be someone else? Like we didn’t matter? And now you’re, what? Some secretive nomad vigilante or whoever Fane is supposed to be? While we—” She clasped her hands in front of her chest when her voice cracked, then broke. “While we thought you were gone?”
He closed his eyes. “I can’t make up for this, but it wasn’t my choice. We had no choice.”
“Mother?” she whispered through tears.
He shook his head.
Her body quaked with sobs she kept silent. After a few deep breaths, she spoke again. “Gage is missing. Things are crazy right now.”
Fane nodded. “I know.”
“You know? How could you?”
He smiled for the first time—a faint smile, but it was there. “I’ve been watching over things from a distance.”
“Right. Because that’s what Fane does,” she muttered.
She was starting to slide off into anger again, which was nothing but a waste of time.
I intervened. “Okay. There’s a lot we have to do, and we can’t spend all our time with accusations.”
“I agree,” Fane said, his eyes still on her. “Tell me what you know about Gage. What have you’ve learned?”
“I found out why he ran away,” she replied with her head high. “I have a reliable source who told me where I could find him. He was hiding at the league headquarters for a while.”
Fane’s expression hardened at the mention of the headquarters—as did mine, since I’d learned of Lucian’s role in our family’s history.
She went on, oblivious. “I went there and talked with him in the woods.”
“Did anybody overhear you?”
“No, he insisted we go very far away. He said… He said he had a job to do. There were a lot of wild accusations.” She shook her head. “I’m still not sure if he was in his right mind, honestly. Only now, he’s gone again, and Vance has vanished, too.”
“What has Vance got to do with it?” Fane asked.
I was on guard, too, seeing as how Vance was Lucian’s son.
She lowered her gaze. “He was helping me for a little while, but my source tells me he’s gone.”
“And who is this source?”
“I can’t tell you.” She lifted her gaze to him. “I’m sorry. I owe them a lot and don’t want to get them tangled up.”
“Fine, then. I have my own contacts and can reach out to them.” He faced me. “I want you with me on this.”
“Wait! You’re going to look for him?” Just like that, she turned into the little sister who felt left out when our father wanted to include her big brothers—but not her—in a mission. “What about me? That’s what I was going to do.”
“You stay here.” He went to her, taking her arms in his hands. “I want you as far from this as can be. You have to stay safe—not only for yourself, but for the clan. Keep things together here.”
Her shoulders slumped. “All right, I guess.” Her eyes went to the backpack by her feet.
I felt sorry for her. She was all ready to go, and we showed up and changed her plans.
There were voices nearby, loud enough to hear. The three of us ducked into the shadows.
“Scott,” I murmured. “Should we tell him?”
“That I’m alive?” Fane asked.
“No. Don’t do it,” Philippa whispered vehemently.
Both of us stared at her in surprise.
&nbs
p; “How can you say that?” I asked. “How would you feel if you knew I was keeping him from you?”
“It’s not about that,” she said. “It’s about Sara.”
“What about her?”
“I don’t trust her.”
“Oh, come on.” I rolled my eyes. “This again? What do you have against her? You really have to get over this.”
“It’s not personal, even though I don’t like her,” she said hotly. “I feel she’s hiding something. And if that’s true, she shouldn’t know about Fane.”
Fane nodded. “That’s the sort of decision a leader makes. We have to think about all the possibilities.”
My sister practically glowed at the compliment.
“Did you tell her?” she asked.
There was only one her she could mean—Anissa.
“No, I didn’t. Well, I told her I met Fane, but I didn’t say anything about him being my father.”
“Right now, Gage is our top priority,” Fane said. “He’s in danger. Scott can wait.” He glanced at me. “And then we can sort out the other things, too. After Gage is taken care of.”
“What other things?” Philippa appeared hurt. “What else haven’t you told me?” Her eyes darted back and forth between us.
He beheld me.
I stared back.
Neither of us said anything. I knew he wanted to protect her, and so did I.
“Great. Just great.” She stepped back, away from us. “Go off and run around the whole world together. See if I care. I’ll be here, holding down the fort, making sure you have a clan to come back to. I’m not special enough for you to clue in. No problem.” She picked up her backpack and stormed off, back inside the penthouse.
I lunged forward, wanting to stop her, but Fane grabbed me and held me firmly.
“She’ll get over it. It’s for the best,” he said. “I don’t want her involved in what we’re going to do.”
“What are we going to do… now that you mention it?”
“You said you’d help me find Gage. First things first. We have to go now. We’ve spent too much time here already.” He cast a portal. “Come on.”
I turned to where Philippa had gone inside. I wished I had time to tell her I was sorry about excluding her.