If Loving You Is Wrong

by E. L. Todd

  ***

  When I woke up the next morning, the sun was beating on my face. I forgot to close my curtains the night before. I took a deep breath before my eyes fluttered open. What I saw caused me to do a double take.

  Trinity was cuddled into my side, her arm around my torso. Her face was rested in my neck, her warm breath falling on me. My arm was around her waist and I could feel the dip in her back.

  What the fuck?

  I immediately moved away, trying to untangle our bodies. I didn’t do that cuddling shit.

  She stirred when she felt me move. “God, my head…”

  I opened my nightstand, riffled through all my handcuffs, bondage, and condoms until I found the bottle of aspirin. “Here.” I tossed it at her.

  She fumbled with the cap until she got it off. “How do you expect me to swallow this?”

  “With your throat,” I snapped.

  “I need water.”

  “God, you’re high maintenance.” I got out of bed then retrieved a glass of water. I practically threw it at her.

  She swallowed the pill then rubbed her head. She was only wearing a pink bra. Her breasts were pushed together, and her skin was pale, like winter morning. Her lips were red from her make up from the night before. Her eyeliner and eye shadow were smeared.

  “You should wash your face. You look like shit.”

  She grabbed the pillow then slammed it hard into my face. “Go to hell, Slade.”

  “I will—one day.” I walked into the bathroom then took a whiz.

  She came in behind me and turned on the sink.

  My back was to her but I was mid-stream. “Um…do you mind?” I snapped.

  She ignored me and washed her face.

  I growled then finished.

  She wiped her face with toilet paper and dried her skin. Then she tossed it in the garbage, where she saw a pile of used condoms. “You’re so disgusting.”

  “I’m disgusting?” I barked. “At least guys don’t come inside me. Now that shit is gross.” I walked out and headed into the hallway.

  “Aren’t you going to wash your hands?”

  “Not when your fat ass is in the way.”

  She grabbed the towel then chucked it at me.

  “This is me caring.” I walked into my room then changed.

  She followed me a moment later, wearing just her bra and matching thong.

  As much as I knew I shouldn’t look, I did anyway. I’d seen her in a swimsuit so I knew what her body looked like but I still took a peek. Her stomach was flat and her navel was pierced. Her breasts curved out, being perfectly proportioned to her size. Her legs were long and thin, and her ass was toned and lifted. I knew she hardly ate and worked out like crazy. It showed.

  She pulled her clothes on and got dressed, not looking at me. “What time is it?”

  “Noon.”

  She adjusted her top then fixed her hair. “Are you going to take me home?”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  She walked to the front door and waited for me.

  I grabbed my keys and we walked out together. We got into my truck then headed toward her house. She rested her face against the window, her eyes closed.

  I turned on the radio.

  “Turn that off,” she snapped. “I have a headache.”

  “It’s my car. I can do what I want.”

  She hit the button and turned it off. “You can not listen to music for a few minutes.”

  I didn’t want to argue with her so I let it go.

  When we arrived at her house, she jumped out then slammed the door. She didn’t say bye or even look at me.

  I don’t think so.

  I killed the engine to my truck then went after her. “Why are you being a bitch right now?”

  “A bitch?” She got her keys in the door. “I didn’t do anything.”

  “Are you at least going to thank me?” I snapped. “I saved your ass.”

  “You don’t need me to stroke your ego. It’s already big enough as it is.” She got the door opened and stepped inside.

  I chased after her. “This is serious, Trinity. You shouldn’t go to parties alone and get that drunk. And don’t take drinks from strangers. Ever.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest and said nothing.

  Was I missing something? “Why isn’t this a big deal to you? Do you understand you could have been raped? By multiple guys? They would have taken you—”

  “Stop.” She held up her hand. And finally, the emotion was in her eyes. “I get it. I learned my lesson. I’m sorry.”

  At least she admitted it. “Don’t say you’re sorry. Be smart and take care of yourself. What if I weren’t there, Trinity?”

  “I get it, okay? Stop repeating yourself.”

  “I just want to make sure you understand how serious this is.”

  “I do. Now go.” She turned away, hiding her face.

  I sighed, not knowing what to do. I knew she was upset but I wasn’t sure what to do to fix it. I wasn’t good with the whole emotional thing. I didn’t know how to comfort someone, especially a girl.

  She sniffed then breathed hard.

  I knew she was crying.

  Ugh, this was awkward.

  I sighed then came close to her. I put my hands on her shoulders and rubbed her gently.

  “Thank you, Slade. I do appreciate it.”

  My hands stilled. “You’re welcome, Trin.”

  She turned back around, the tears gone. “You can go now.”

  Something was keeping me there. “I need to know you’ll be smarter about this. No more taking drinks from random guys, okay? If something happened to you…I couldn’t bear it.”

  Her eyes softened. “I will. I promise.”

  That was what I needed to hear. “Okay.”

  Tension stretched between us.

  “Well, I’ll see you around…” I turned and walked away.

  “Okay.”

  I walked out the front door then closed it behind me, not looking at her again.

  Chapter Four

  Trinity

  I knew I made a stupid decision. And it frightened me that the consequences of that stupidity could have been dire. What was wrong with me? What if Slade hadn’t been there? It freaked me out so much that I forced myself not to think about it.

  When I went to the library on Monday, Skye was there.

  “Hey.” She studied me for a moment with concern in her eyes.

  Being in a tight group meant everyone knew everything the moment it happened. “I’m okay,” I said proactively.

  “I’m glad Slade taught those guys a lesson.” She highlighted a few sentences in her textbook.

  “That Krav Maga should be illegal,” I said.

  “Good thing he knew it.” She adjusted her glasses over the bridge of her nose.

  I sat there, not in the mood to read or do anything.

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “Not really.” I looked out the window, trying to think of other things.

  “Maybe you and Slade will get along better now…”

  I tried not to laugh. “I doubt it.” I didn’t want to talk about Slade or that horrible night anymore. “How’s it going with Cayson? I haven’t seen you to ask.”

  She couldn’t hide the smile on her face. “Wonderful.”

  “He’s the whole package?” I gave her a playful grin.

  “Ooooh yeah.”

  I chuckled. “Lucky you. Have you been humping like rabbits?”

  “No…we haven’t done it yet.”

  “What? Why?”

  She shrugged. “Just taking it slow. But we fooled around the other night. That was fun. Mucho fun.”

  I laughed. “I bet it was. Cayson is a good-looking guy.”

  “I’m not sure why I was immune to him for so long.”

  “Because you’re stupid,” I blurted.

  “Apparently.”

  “This is when I get to say, told you so. Every time I said
Cayson was in love with you, you never believed me.”

  “I know…I’m not sure why I was in denial.”

  “Like I said, you’re stupid.”

  She glared at me through her spectacles.

  “I’m just saying…”

  Cayson entered the library then spotted us at our table.

  “Your boyfriend is coming.”

  Skye immediately pulled her glasses off like she was embarrassed.

  “He’s seen you wear them before,” I said.

  “But now he’s my boyfriend.”

  “I really don’t think he cares.”

  “Hey.” Cayson only had eyes for her. He leaned down and kissed her. “I missed you.”

  “I missed you too.” She couldn’t wipe away the grin on her face.

  He put his backpack down and sat beside her. “Why aren’t you wearing your glasses?”

  I grinned. “Because she’s embarrassed.”

  Skye gave me that look that clearly said, “Shut your mouth.”

  “Embarrassed of what?” he asked. He leaned toward her. “I think you look cute when you wear them.”

  “You don’t think I look like a nerd?” she asked hesitantly.

  “Well, since I’m a nerd, I find that attractive.” He grabbed the glasses then slipped them over her nose. “That’s better.” He kissed her forehead before he pulled away.

  “You guys are ridiculously cute,” I said.

  “I know,” Skye said with a sigh.

  Cayson rested his hand on her thigh while he opened his textbook. “Anything new?”

  “No,” I said immediately.

  Cayson looked at me with concern in his eyes. But he didn’t say anything. He probably picked up on the tension.

  Slade stepped into the library with an energy drink in his hand. He found our table and made his way over. For some reason, when I saw him, my heart rate increased slightly. He wore a gray t-shirt and dark jeans. The colors of his sleeves brought out his blue eyes. He walked past the table with an air of indifference. Then he slid into the seat beside me, downing his energy drink.

  I eyed it. “Those are so bad for you.”

  “Taking drinks from random guys is bad for you,” he snapped.

  I would never live that down. “I’m just trying to help you.”

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  Seriously, I wanted to slap him sometimes.

  “She’s right,” Cayson said. “The epinephrine in that can really mess up your heart, especially over a long period of time.”

  “Well, I choose to live my life how I want. Did you know stress can really mess up your heart?” Slade countered.

  Cayson shrugged. “I tried.”

  “You want to head to the bar to watch the game tonight?” Slade asked. “The Steelers are playing.”

  “Um…” He eyed Skye.

  Slade rolled his eyes. “You’re so lame, man.”

  “I’m not asking her for permission,” Cayson said immediately. “I just had plans with Skye tonight.”

  “Change them. She can come too.” Slade finished his drink then crushed the can with his hand. “Invite everyone. I don’t care.”

  Cayson looked at Skye. “What do you think?”

  “Yeah, let’s watch the game,” Skye said. “I want fries and hot wings anyway.”

  Cayson gave her a fond look. “I should have known food would be the deciding factor.”

  Skye shrugged. “I like food.”

  “You coming?” Slade asked. He looked at his can when he said it.

  Who was he talking to? “Sorry, are you talking to me?”

  “Who else would I be asking?” he snapped.

  “Well, look at me when you talk to me.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Okay, Princess.”

  “Do you even want me to go?”

  “Would I have asked you if I didn’t?” He finally looked at me.

  Cayson sighed. “Peace—just for a few minutes.”

  “Please,” Skye said.

  Slade rolled his eyes then crushed the can into a thin strip with his bare hands. “I’ll see you guys there at six.” He stood up and left his trash on the table.

  “I hope you don’t expect us to throw that away,” I noted.

  He growled then grabbed the can. On his way out, he tossed it in the recycling bin.

  “You guys are so weird…” Skye stared at me as she said it. “He beats up three guys to protect you but then you argue like hyenas fighting over a dead carcass.”

  “He and I will never get along.” I leaned back in my chair, trying to forget about how pissed off Slade made me.

  “Yeah…we’re figuring that out.” Cayson smirked.

  ***

  As soon as I got home, there was a knock on the door.

  I put down my bag then looked through the peephole. My brother was standing on my doorstep. I sighed then opened it, knowing I’d have to get this over with sooner or later.

  He walked inside then looked at me. His eyes were dark and focused, like he was furious or on the verge of tears.

  I decided to speak first. “Look, I know what you’re going to say and I don’t want to deal with this right now. I made a mistake and I learned my lesson. I’ll be smarter from now on. Get off my ass.” I turned around then opened the refrigerator, looking for a bottle of Evian.

  Conrad stayed behind me and said nothing.

  I grabbed the bottle then took a drink. I set it on the counter and waited for him to scream at me and call me a stupid whore.

  Conrad stepped closer to me. He wore a gray hoodie and his hair was slightly messy. He had dark hair like my father. We hardly looked anything alike. Only our eyes seemed to be similar. “I’m not here to yell at you.”

  That was a first.

  “I just wanted to see if you were okay.” He rested his hand on the counter next to me and put the other in his pocket.

  “Nothing happened, Conrad. I’m fine.”

  “But…I’m sure you were shaken up about it.”

  “Not really. I was drunk so everything was numb. And Slade dragged me out before I could really think about anything.”

  He sighed. “I’m so glad he was there.”

  “I’m not sure how he knew what was going on. But he did.”

  He stared at me, concern in his eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “I’m fine. Really.”

  “Please be more careful. Most of the time I can’t stand you and I think you’re annoying as hell…but…I do love you.”

  Warmth flooded my heart. “I love you too.”

  He coughed into his hand then shifted his weight. “Should we hug or something?”

  “I guess we could.”

  He closed the gap between us and hugged me quickly. Then he pulled away.

  “You aren’t going to mention anything to Dad, right?”

  “No. You never tattle on me and I’ll never tattle on you.”

  “Thanks. I’m not worried about how he would treat me. Honestly, I’m terrified of how he would react to those three guys.”

  “I know, right?” He chuckled slightly. He put both hands in his pockets. “Are you watching the game tonight?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be there.”

  “Cool.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I know you and Slade argue a lot…but maybe you should try to be nice to him since he…you know…obviously cares about you.”

  “He’s the one that’s an asshole every second of the day. It’s hard to be nice to him.”

  “It’s just some friendly advice.” He walked out and shut the door behind him.

  I didn’t need any advice when it came to Slade. He was the definition of an asshole. And just because he saved me didn’t mean I’d let him treat me like dirt. No way.

  ***

  We got a booth in the corner and faced the large screen TV.

  “Come on!” Conrad shouted. “Score, goddamn it!”

  “Go…go…go!” Roland thumped his hand against th
e wood of the table.

  Slade leaned forward on his elbows. “I’m about to be a thousand bucks richer.”

  The player made it to the end zone.

  “Yeah, baby!” Slade clapped his hands. “Alright.”

  “Who did you bet a thousand bucks with?” I asked.

  “Online sport betting,” he answered.

  “Isn’t that illegal?” I asked.

  “Anything worth doing is illegal.” He spoke without looking at me then drank his beer. His arm was covered in various tattoos. A black squid moved up his forearm and a grizzly bear was on his bicep. His body was a canvas of random images. But he used color in every single one. Instead of traditional black ink, he was covered in bright hues, like red, green, blue, and orange.

  “Does your dad know?” I asked.

  “Duh. He bets too.” He finished his second beer but didn’t seem affected by it.

  Cayson had his arm around Skye while his free hand held his beer.

  Roland watched them. “This is so strange…”

  “What?” Conrad asked.

  “Seeing them together,” Roland said. “I thought it would never happen, and now that it finally has, it’s hard to understand.”

  “Get used to it.” Skye leaned in and kissed Cayson on the cheek.

  Cayson smirked then gave her a fond look.

  Roland cringed. “Just keep it PG, alright?”

  “You talked about fucking that married woman countless times,” Skye countered.

  “Totally different.” Roland drank his beer then wiped his lips.

  “No, it isn’t,” Skye snapped.

  “You’re my sister,” Roland said. “It is different.”

  “Sexist pig,” she mumbled.

  “Annoying brat,” Roland mumbled back.

  Slade stared at the screen like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. “If they win with a score of 28 to 22, I win ten grand.”