Immortals of Indriell- The Collection

by Melissa A. Craven

  “What if I’m not good enough?”

  “You are the most talented musician I know,” he said firmly. “You’ve got this, Wendy. Don’t psych yourself out.”

  “It helps knowing you’ll be there soon. I think that gives me the courage to actually go for it.”

  “If I have it my way, I’ll be there for senior year, and you and I will take Germany by storm.”

  “Thanks, Aidan. Your support means more than you know.”

  ~~~

  CHAPTER

  TEN

  Allie:

  “Allie, you should learn to play an instrument while you’re young,” Navid said. “You have an excellent ear for music and I know how much you enjoy dancing. Music is a part of who you are. It’s a cathartic release for you. Look at how much you enjoyed the Massenet Opera last night, and then our evening spent discussing Thaïs.” He paused as the waitress delivered their breakfast of eggs and toast, which Allie immediately smeared with Vegemite.

  “What?” she asked when she caught him frowning at her.

  “I do not think this … stuff qualifies as food, sweetheart.”

  “It’s delicious!” She added a fried egg to her Vegemite toast, which even Gavin thought was gross.

  “I move around too much to even think about taking piano lessons.” She took a huge bite. “It’s just not practical.”

  “Practical? Allie, you’re an artist in every sense of the word. I’ve seen your portfolio. You should be proud of your accomplishments, and you should never stop challenging your creativity. It’s as much a part of your education as history and mathematics.”

  “So maybe I’m just lazy.”

  “I am merely attempting to point out a minor flaw in your well rounded education. You shouldn’t neglect your talent for music because of logistics.” He waved his hand irritably. “You stand on the sidelines far too often as it is. You should be a participant in life, not an observer. Don’t just listen to others making music. Make your own.”

  “Oooh, speaking of making things. Want a cookie?” Allie pulled the plastic container from her bag.

  “Oh, you baked? Like … unsupervised?”

  “Har har. Look, they turned out beautiful!” Admittedly, she was a disaster in the kitchen, but she was going kayaking with Gavin later that afternoon and really wanted to surprise him with homemade cookies and coffee.

  “I followed the recipe to the letter, I promise. Try one.”

  She watched as Navid took a tentative bite and then his eyes lit up.

  “They’re good?”

  “Delicious. They remind me of my wife’s. She was an … incredible cook.” He stifled a cough.

  “Your wife? I never knew you were married.”

  “It was a long time ago. I’m afraid we’re no longer together.”

  “I’m so sorry.” Allie reached for his hand as the waitress passed.

  “Can I get you two anything? More tea?” she asked.

  “Water. Please?” Navid asked.

  “Hey, it’s Allie!” She recognized Eric’s condescending voice and wanted to shrink into her chair and disappear.

  “Hey guys.” Allie turned to see Eric with his latest girlfriend, Courtney and several of their friends from Cook Park High.

  Why do they travel in packs? It always feels like they’re ganging up on me.

  “Are you ever going to start school?” Courtney asked.

  “Probably in a few weeks. I’m homeschooling for now.” Allie shifted her gaze to a point just over Courtney’s shoulder.

  “So, you’ll be going to Cook Park?” Eric sounded disappointed.

  “Oh-um. I-um, I don’t know.” Allie glanced down at her feet. “I thought I might like to go to school with Gavin. But, I-uh. I’m not sure yet.”

  “Wouldn’t you be more comfortable at a smaller school?” Courtney asked. “I mean, you’ve only been dating a few weeks. What happens when you two break up?”

  “I guess, I hadn’t really thought about that.”

  “Listen, Gav’s a nice guy,” Eric said, “but you might not want to—”

  “Enough,” Navid said softly, but they all heard the steel in his voice. “Leave, now. All of you.”

  Without a word, they turned and fled.

  “Can you follow me around and do that?” Allie attempted the feeble joke, but she was so humiliated.

  “Alexis Carmichael, you are always such a confident, self-assured young woman. I do not understand this insecurity.” Navid gave her a worried look.

  “The self-confidence is a carefully placed illusion. In social situations it tends to crash and burn.”

  “I’m so sorry, Allie. I had no idea. Why do you think you react like that to them? Or they to you?”

  “I don’t know.” She fidgeted in her seat.

  “Be honest. Let’s pretend for a minute that I will completely understand anything you say. Get it off your chest, sweetheart.”

  Something about the look in his eye and the earnest sound of his voice made it all just come tumbling out. “I can feel how much they hate me. Those two in particular. Most of the time kids my age just don’t get me and for some reason, I make them nervous. So I do what I can to appear less threatening. I’m passive and awkward because I just don’t know what to say. You just saw it. I can’t be myself with people like that.”

  “It’s worse than I thought,” he said. “I suppose you’ve kept this from your parents?”

  Allie nodded. “I’ve never felt like I could explain it. I’m trying to be myself here, and with Gavin, it’s easier. These last weeks in Sydney I’ve been pushing myself out of my comfort zone, doing things I don’t normally do. It’s been scary, but it feels necessary. Like I was satisfied with things the way they were for a long time, but it’s just not enough anymore.” She frowned at her choice of words, but she trusted Navid would understand.

  “You’re very perceptive, Alexis. You’ll be sixteen in a few short months. You are entering a stage of your life when everything can change in the blink of an eye and you must be prepared to adapt. But never change who you are at your core. Do not alter yourself just to gain their approval.”

  “You’re right, I shouldn’t let it get to me.”

  “You’ve spent too much time alone, sweetheart. This worries me. You need others your own age. People who understand you.”

  “If there are such people, I’ve never met them. I’m doing better with Gavin, but even with him it’s like there’s a distance between us I can’t seem to cross. He tries very hard not to let it affect our relationship, but it’s an obstacle I just don’t know if we’ll ever overcome. It’s weird. There’s just … something not quite right about me.” Allie’s eyes filled with tears. This was the closest she’d ever come to voicing these fears.

  “Stop,” he said firmly. “There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. And I don’t ever want to hear you say that again. There are others like you.” He reached for her hand. “You’re uniquely different in every way, but that is not a bad thing. Embrace your individuality. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. The people who blend into the masses—like those nasty little pieces of work back there—they are the uninteresting ones. Those who are brave enough to break the mold are the ones that become the shining stars. Hold your head high and be proud of who you are. If you intimidate them, if they don’t like you, so what? It’s not your job to make them comfortable at the expense of your own happiness. If Gavin likes you, and you like him, you’ll find a way to work around this problem with his friends. And you will do it together. He’s been good for you, sweetheart. I just don’t know if it’s enough,” he added softly.

  “So you’re telling me to let my freak flag fly?”

  “In a manner of speaking, I suppose.” He rolled his eyes.

  “I know you’re right. I like who I am, but there’s a huge part of me aching to belong somewhere in this world. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.” Allie sighed as she watched a group of noisy teenagers at the next ta
ble. “Logically I know there’s nothing really wrong with me, but it doesn’t make it any less lonely.”

  “You’re one of those young women who will thrive in college. I have taught at some of the most prestigious universities around the world, and I’ve watched countless young men and women blossom before my eyes when they’ve finally found a home where they are accepted for who they are. Two more years of high school is not an eternity,” Navid said. “But at your age, it probably feels like it.”

  “I don’t know, good things are happening here. I’m starting to hope we’ll stay in Sydney for a while. I’m just so tired of starting over.”

  “Don’t let the changes life throws at you define who you are.”

  “Your words are all sound advice in theory. In practice, it is much harder.”

  “Then we just need to find you an environment where you can flourish.” He stood to leave. “Unfortunately, I have a class to get to, but I’m taking another cookie for the road.” His brilliant smile lit his face. “Enjoy kayaking with Gavin and at least try to have a good time at the party.”

  “These people have entirely too many parties.” Allie grabbed her sketchbook and followed him out of the diner.

  ~~~

  “Let’s go, freckles!” Gavin hopped out of his old clunker of a truck to help Allie with her backpack. “I’ve been looking forward to the weather breaking for weeks!” It was early August so the evenings were mild now and they were both eager for an afternoon of kayaking.

  “We’ll have to hike for a bit until we get to the water, but Eric’s already got the boats there. It’s a little swampy where we’re going. Hope you don’t mind crocs.” He grabbed her hand as they headed along the trail.

  “If I see a single crocodile, you’ll be seeing a short redhead walking on water, screeching like a howler monkey.”

  “I’m kidding! They aren’t active where we’re going. I doubt we’ll even see any.”

  “You doubt?” She shot him a glare.

  “If we see any, just ignore them and they’ll ignore us.”

  “That’s your sound advice? Ignore them when I look like a tasty snack? I don’t think so, Gav!” Allie stopped walking. “I’m serious, if I see anything that could potentially swallow me whole, I might start climbing. And if we’re on the water, you’ll be the tallest thing out there.”

  “Relax, I’m totally joking! Crocs don’t come down this far south. You crack me up sometimes. I wish you could—” he let his unfinished sentence hang in the air between them.

  “Wish I could be more myself with your friends instead of a total weirdo?” Allie asked.

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “It’s the truth.” She stared at her shoes out of habit.

  “Look at me, Allie. I know you have a hard time in a crowd. And that’s okay. I just wish they could see how great you are. That’s all.”

  “Thanks. Last time was better, wasn’t it?” she asked. They’d gone to the skate park with just a few of his friends and it hadn’t been horrible.

  “You did great.” He took her hand again, lacing his fingers through hers. It still surprised her when he made an effort to be close to her. But it took effort. Even now, she could see how determined he was to walk with her hand in hand. It was nice. But it didn’t always feel natural.

  “I guess I’m just good at reading a room, you know. I can tell when people don’t like me and when I know that, it’s really hard to chat and joke around and act like a normal person. I can’t be fake about it, so I just look at my shoes instead. I like shoes.” She chanced a smile. She didn’t want to ruin their time together with this kind of talk. It would only lead to questions she had no idea how to answer.

  “Just be you. If that’s snarky, smart-mouthed, hilarious Allie, that’s awesome. If it’s quiet, cute, shy Allie, that’s just as wonderful.”

  “You’re good at this.” She skipped ahead, dropping his hand to give him a break.

  “At what?” He jogged to catch up with her.

  “Digging yourself out of a hole,” she said sweetly.

  “Dammit, Eric!” Gavin darted ahead of her. “He was supposed to take the boats down to the water for us!” Several off-road vehicles were parked in the clearing, but the two-seater kayak she and Gavin would be using was still secured to Eric’s truck.

  “Hey, no worries. We can get it.” Allie scrambled up the side of the truck and unlatched the boat.

  She held on as Gavin guided the boat down and she walked it forward. He reached for her end and set it carefully on the ground before he returned to help her down.

  “So how exactly are we carrying this thing? We have a differential height situation going on if you haven’t noticed.”

  “Yeah, that’s why I’m gonna kill Eric later. Come on, babe, we got this.” He hefted the boat up to his shoulder.

  Allie grabbed her end and lifted it high up over her head so Gavin could do the same.

  “Wait, wait! Too high!” She almost lost her hold. “Okay, got it! Sorry! Pay no attention to the total spaz back here!”

  Gavin readjusted the boat back to his shoulder. “Okay, we’re never going to get anywhere if you keep making me laugh!”

  “I’ll be good, let’s go!”

  “It’s not far, freckles. Just down that trail.” Gavin set a pace she could keep up with and they soon had the boat in the water.

  “Hop in and I’ll get us going,” he said.

  Allie took the front seat and grabbed her paddle as Gavin gave them a push and jumped in behind her.

  “Where to?” Allie stared to paddle out.

  “See Eric’s stupid fake blond hair over there, yeah?” He pointed across the still waters with his paddle.

  “Can’t miss it.” Allie steered them toward the others. “There’s a lotta boats out there.” There were way more people around than she’d anticipated.

  Relax, Allie! It won’t kill you to mingle.

  “Let’s take our time. Eric’s been an extra special kind of jerk today.”

  “Probably my fault. I seem to irritate him with my presence.” Allie’s paddle sliced through the water matching Gavin’s pace.

  “Quite the opposite, actually. That’s the problem.”

  “What?”

  “For days all we heard about was the hot new redhead up on seventeen.” He rolled his eyes. “And how we were all going to be so jealous when he scored with her.”

  “What a jackass! You do know he actually ran away from me the first time we got caught in the elevator together? I bet he didn’t tell you that part.”

  “Of course not,” Gavin scoffed.

  “So that’s it? He’s jealous?”

  “Absolutely green with envy. Eric usually gets all the attention.”

  “Sorry.” Allie didn’t want to cause trouble between Gavin and his friend.

  “I’m not. Eric’s not worth it!”

  “Well, why don’t we check in with your other friends for a bit?”

  “You sure?”

  “Of course. I don’t want you to feel like we can’t do things with them just because I get nervous.”

  “Okay, but we’ll take it just a few people at a time.” They fell silent as they paddled further out to the first cluster of boats where some of his friends were racing. Allie clumsily chatted with the other girls as Gavin cheered for his friend, Chris, in a race against Eric.

  They made their way from one group to another, never staying long enough for Allie to feel self-conscious. They soon found themselves out in the open water of Botany Bay.

  “Take a break?”

  “Sure.” Allie marveled at the wetlands all around them. “It’s weird how all of this is so close to the city.” She watched the birds flying overhead.

  “Let’s get you turned around so I can see you.” Gavin reached to unlock the swivel on her seat.

  Allie drew her knees up so she could turn around without falling into the bay.

  “That’s better. I have food and d
rinks if you’re hungry.” He reached for his backpack. “Thought we might have a picnic.”

  “Oh! I made cookies and hot coffee!” She reached for her bag.

  “You made me cookies?” Gavin handed her a sandwich and a bottled water.

  “Yep, and Navid said they were delicious!” She poured them each a cup of coffee from her thermos. “Try one!”

  She watched as Gavin took a big bite and all the color drained from his face as he choked on his laughter. The rest of the cookie fell from his hand into the water.

  “Oh darn, would you look at that?” He swallowed with a wince. “I seemed to have dropped my cookie.”

  “Aw, they can’t be that bad!”

  “Navid was right, they’re delicious, babe.” He winked. “But I had this really big breakfast.”

  “Oh.” Her face fell. “They’re terrible.”

  “No, not terrible.” He shook his head with a grin. “But I’m thinking you might have used a dash too much salt.”

  “Salt?” Allie took a bite and spit it out. “Seriously? I mixed up the salt and sugar! Ugh! How can I be so bad at something so simple?”

  “The coffee’s great.”

  “Oh no! Navid!” She dissolved into a fit of giggles.

  “Did he really eat one?” Gavin asked. “Like a whole one?”

  “Two! But I’m starting to wonder if they ended up in his pocket!”

  “He must really love you.”

  “I’m going to stick with coffee as my single contribution to the culinary world.”

  “Good idea.” He chugged half a bottle of water to wash the taste out of his mouth.

  “You could have spit it out!” she said.

  “I didn’t want to hurt your feelings!”

  “I’m not made of glass, Gavin! Next time just tell me, ‘dude, your cookies seriously suck!’ I promise I won’t break!”

  “Next time? How about we keep you out of the kitchen?”

  “Probably a good idea.”

  “Hey! What’s so funny?” Chris called across the water.

  “Allie’s cookies! Try one!” Gavin tossed one at his friend.

  “Chris, don’t listen to him!” Allie giggled. She glanced around and saw several of his friends watching them curiously. Navid’s pep talk came back to her, giving her a little boost in confidence.