Immortals of Indriell- The Collection

by Melissa A. Craven

  “Aidan, can you give us a minute? I’d like to speak to Daniel privately,” she asked when she returned, fully clothed and her eyes dry. Vince lay sleeping where she'd left him. He looked so peaceful.

  “Gladly.” Aidan practically ran for the door. She could feel just how much this whole situation tormented him and it ripped her apart. She was constantly stuck between staying true to what she knew was right for her, and hurting the most important person in her life.

  It didn't happen, Aidan. It never went that far. I-I think I was trying to talk myself into taking the next logical step with him. Like I could force this relationship to work just because I wanted it to.

  His only response was a feeling of relief.

  Am I still welcome in your sanctuary?

  Always.

  I’ll meet you there soon.

  “It is not safe for him to be with me anymore, Daniel.” Allie squared her shoulders, firm in her resolve. “I’ve hurt him enough and the next time could be worse. I can’t keep doing this.”

  “I won't do it, Allie. Especially not like this. Vince won't remember what happened tonight. I’ll take him home and he’ll sleep it off. He will remember your reunion up to a certain point and then he will remember going home. There's no harm done here. You can move on from this and be happy with the boy you love—but you must be more careful. You cannot lose control like that again. Not with anyone.”

  “There won’t be a next time. I don’t feel right about this anymore. It’s done, we’re done. Whether you help me make it easier for him or not.” She sat on the edge of the armchair near the wall of glass overlooking the garden and stared at the late-blooming flowers. “After the summer we've had—it's been better than ever between us—he's never going to understand.”

  “I will not remove his memories of your entire relationship. That crosses a line I will not breach,” Daniel said. “It wouldn’t hurt him, but it wouldn’t be fair to either of you to deny you both the experience of a difficult breakup, simply to spare his feelings. You must find a way to do this on your own.”

  “Can't you make him think we’re just friends? That we broke up months ago for some stupid reason? Anything to make this easier? I just … can't break his heart.”

  “I won’t do that either, sweetheart. My gift is a tool, meant to help preserve the secrecy of our world. It is not to be used to ease a wounded heart. We just got back. Let things settle down first. And think about it long and hard before you make any decisions.”

  “I don’t need to think about it. I should have done this months ago.”

  “Then take some time to find a way to end your relationship amicably. This is a good experience for you, Allie. Next time you will carefully consider what it means to date a mortal. It’s not something you should feel you cannot do, but it never seems to end well for us or the mortals we love. We will discuss this further during our training session next week. Until then, don’t make any rash decisions.”

  Allie nodded, but she knew she wouldn’t change her mind. She was done with Vince. She would not interfere in his life any longer.

  ~~~

  Allie slipped out of the house and across the garden to the small shed. She fumbled with the hidden latch in the floorboards that concealed the much more sophisticated entrance to the tunnels below. Punching in her code on the digital pad, she climbed down the long ladder, closing the entrance behind her. She hated this part. She could see in the darkness, but Allie didn't like the confines of the deep shaft that allowed her access to the natural caves and tunnels that sprawled out like a maze below the island.

  The underground was like home to her now. As she ran along the tunnel leading to the common room, Allie wished she could run fast enough to escape what she’d done.

  I almost killed him. She opened her thoughts to Aidan. This time it wouldn’t have been an errant bullet to the chest—it would have been by her own hand.

  It’s not your fault, Lex.

  She pushed him away again, unable to bear the unerring confidence of his thoughts. The way he saw her never ceased to make her feel inadequate, but right now she wanted nothing more than to forget this whole night ever happened and just get back to her normal routine.

  Allie tugged on the enormous carved door that led to the common room across the great stone hall where all the Kelley’s Island tunnels converged. The fan-vaulted ceilings, once so impressive, barely registered with her now, even after all the months away. Allie made her way on autopilot through the tangle of hallways to Aidan’s office.

  “You have got to chill, babe,” Aidan said in amusement. “You’re making me tense.”

  “Sorry,” she muttered.

  “It was an accident. Put it behind you. Now, how about a drink? It’s been a long night and I raided Dare’s stash.”

  Allie smiled to herself, grateful that she could trust him to know she did not want to talk about what happened. “Cheers to that.” She flopped into the armchair by the cold fireplace. She watched as he crossed the span of his office to pour her a glass of wine and himself a tumbler of Scotch he’d pilfered from somewhere when his brother wasn’t looking. He looked tired and his dark, shaggy hair was a mess. In that moment, she knew they both felt a thousand years old.

  Her thoughts drifted back to Vince. They weren’t right for each other. She’d done everything she could to convince herself they were. She just hadn’t been ready to let him go … until now.

  So ten months, then, not one. Aidan's dry humor echoed in her mind and she couldn’t help but laugh. He'd expected her to come to this realization months ago. He'd pushed in his impatience for her to accept this life and move on with him at her side. Of course it blew up in his face, culminating in the worst argument they'd ever had and weeks of not talking to each other. She hadn't been ready—still wasn't ready for what he was offering.

  You will be, someday.

  She could feel his hopes rising and the thought of dashing them again filled her with anxiety. He meant the world to her, and the last thing she ever wanted was to cause him pain, but it seemed that was all she ever did.

  Aidan, I … don’t know if I’ll ever be the girl you want me to be. She was doing marginally better as she approached her first full year after her Awakening, but she still wasn’t there yet. And she knew she could never be the vision of sheer perfection Aidan saw when he looked at her.

  I’ve been an impatient asshat. Call it a personal fault I'm working on.

  Aidan, the way you see me.…

  I see you, Lex. I’m not seeing anything more than what you are.

  You forget I’ve got a front-row seat in your mind. I can literally see how you look at me and what you feel for me. I don’t know if I can ever measure up to that. It would be so easy to let this happen between us, but I … don’t want to wake up one day and not know who I am without you. I need to know who I am on my own, and that’s not something I’m going to figure out in a few months or even a few years. I can’t imagine that’s something you could really know about yourself either.

  “You have a fair point, Lex. But there is one fatal flaw in your logic.” He stared down at her as he handed her a chilled glass of white wine, courtesy of his temperature gift.

  “And what’s that?”

  “You think I’m incapable of entering into an easy, no-pressure relationship with you. You think it's all or nothing with me, which tells me that you’re the one who can’t handle the depth of your feelings for me.” His eyes twinkled as his cocky smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. She knew he also had a fair point.

  “I’m ending it with Vince, but that doesn’t mean I will jump into another relationship anytime soon. You know I don’t want to be that girl.” She took a grateful sip of her wine, ignoring his last comment because she didn’t have an answer either of them would like.

  “I know, Allie.” He crouched in front of her, grasping her free hand. “Whatever hope you feel coming from me, it’s something I can’t help feeling, knowing you’re
finally going to end it with him.” He shifted closer, resting his hands on the arms of her chair until his face was just inches from hers. “But I love you and I’m not going to apologize for that. Especially when I know you’re head over heels for me, but you’re just too scared and stubborn to admit it to yourself.”

  He tipped his glass back and drained it in one gulp.

  “Patience is not one of my strongest virtues, as you so often point out, but I’m learning. I won’t pressure you, Lex. Not on this. Take all the time you need. We have more important things standing between us than your relationship with Vince. Until you’re ready to talk about that—about what happened in that room before we left for Agra—your dating life is the least of our worries. Whatever my father told you shook you to your core and that’s what has me worried.”

  “Aidan, I—”

  “I know, you aren’t ready to talk about it. And I know that when you are, you’ll let me know. We’re both exhausted, so let’s just go to bed.” He held his hand out for hers.

  She stared at it for a moment, wondering how she could be the kind of girl who would literally go from choosing to take her relationship with Vince to the next level, to sharing a bed with Aidan in the span of a few hours.

  “Stop it.” His laughter caught her by surprise. “It’s just sleep, Lex. Vince got much further tonight than I will anytime soon.”

  “I hate you.” She drained her glass and took his hand.

  “It’s a thin line between love and hate, babe. Come check out my music room. It’s my favorite place in the world.”

  Allie had often heard Aidan talk about his music room, but he’d never offered to show her and she’d never pushed. It was his domain and she was pretty sure it was the place where he did his best brooding.

  “Wow, this is incredible.” Allie stepped through the doorway and wandered over to the glossy, black piano resting in a place of honor at the center of the dark room. The walls were upholstered in a rich plum color, with sidelights illuminating the dim interior. The plush gray carpet absorbed even the slightest sound of her footsteps, and a glass booth at the front of the room housed all the sound equipment for recording. Three guitars were mounted on the wall and a red violin rested on a stand in the corner. The studio was a part-gift, part-bribe from Gregg last year—an incentive for the office and teaching duties Aidan really didn't want. But music was Aidan’s ally and this place was a temptation he couldn’t resist.

  “I’ll play for you tomorrow.” He turned toward the sliding double doors to his bedroom at the back of the studio.

  Allie let her hands wander over the piano keys, hearing a distant echo of Navid’s words: Allie, you should learn to play an instrument while you’re young. Music is a part of who you are. Don’t listen to others making music. Make your own. She saw a flash of a distant future where she and Aidan played here together. The visions came to her like that now. It started over the summer with brief bursts of insight that she usually didn’t understand. What she saw was only a possibility right now, depending on the choices they each made. She was used to seeing things that might or might not happen, but this was the first time she saw something she really wanted. They seemed so peaceful and at ease, it made her want to learn to play.

  “You have me blocked so hard I can’t fathom what you’re thinking,” Aidan whispered behind her.

  She let her fingers tap the keys, lost in the possibilities of that future.

  “I can teach you,” he said.

  “We don’t have time for that.”

  “Allie, we sleep three nights in ten when our friends still sleep twice that. We can find the time if you really want to learn to play.”

  “I’d love to, someday.”

  “You have an ear for music, Lex, and this is something I would love to share with you. But right now, Aidan needs sleep. Come to bed.” He pulled her through the double doors behind him into a room that was wall-to-wall bed. The entry was a small foyer with a chest and mirror. Three wide steps led down to a mattress covered in a thin sheet to keep the dust away while he traveled for the summer.

  Aidan lifted the sheet and she saw the mattress was covered in soft gray suede. Pillows and books lay scattered around, like he was just there only last night.

  “Grab a T-shirt and get comfortable. I’ll get us a blanket.” He ducked back out to give her some privacy. She grabbed one of his longest T-shirts from the chest and settled back on the bed. It’s like a cloud. She rested her head on a suede-covered pillow.

  Amazing, right? Aidan returned, bare chested in his boxers, and flung a blanket over her. As he settled beside her, she accepted the comforting embrace he offered, eager for the peaceful oblivion they experienced when sleeping together. With the lights off, the ceiling began to glow like the night sky dotted here and there with stars.

  It’s beautiful.

  But something about it bothered her.

  “Wait.”

  “Crap. I forgot, Lex.”

  You’ve never let me in here, but you let her? She wanted to take the errant thought back immediately. She hated how ridiculous she sounded when she had no right to be jealous of the time Aidan spent with Naomi.

  “She did this for me months ago.”

  Naomi had a gift for creating illusions. She could make a place feel like an oasis of comfort and peace. Allie recently discovered that was why she loved hanging out in the grotto so much—and had since decided that knowledge had ruined it for her.

  “When was she here?” Allie could hear herself talking but couldn’t seem to stop the stupid from flowing out of her mouth. If it was anyone other than Naomi, she wouldn’t have said a word. The two girls had taken an immediate dislike to each other over the summer and neither had gone out of their way to be civil.

  “After spring break last year but before the ball. She was only in town a few days.”

  “I know you like her. Forget I said anything. You know I didn’t mean it.”

  “Hey.” He looked down at her in the dim light of the twinkling stars and she could see the tiniest flicker of power in his eyes. “I brought her here because I couldn’t bear to take her anywhere you and I have slept. Until tonight, this was an Allie-free zone. You know how I feel about you. If you want me, I’m yours. But I’m not going to sit around forever waiting for you to get over your fear of us. Naomi is a great friend and we have fun together. I won’t apologize for that. But she will never have my heart.”

  “What about Kayla?” She hadn’t heard him talk about his mortal girlfriend in months.

  “Allie, we were never anything more than friends. People thought we were dating so we let them believe it. We both have a thing for someone else and we bonded over that shared misery. That’s it. We’re just friends.”

  “You broke up?”

  “There was never anything to break up from.”

  “Aidan, I’m so sorry if I’ve made you feel like—like I’m using you or leading you on. Our friendship is everything to me and I would never intentionally hurt you.”

  “You’re just scared, babe. I get that. I’m a lot to handle.” The cocky arrogance crept into his voice and she knew she was forgiven. “I can see how overwhelming I could be.” He stretched back with a big yawn and wrapped his arms around her. “I can talk a big game about not waiting around forever, but you know I’ll be here when you’ve gotten over yourself. You’ll be ready for us one day, Lex. I can wait. But the hormonal seventeen-year-old douchebag inside me is an impatient little bastard. He just wants someone to throttle some sense into you.”

  “Bring it on, douche-boy. You know I can wipe the floor with you.”

  “Only when I let you win.” He gave her a sleepy grin.

  “That’s total BS.”

  “Yeah, it is.” He laughed. “You’ve been a beast in training lately.”

  “Well, I’m not letting anything like that night happen again. Ever.” She balled her fists at the memory of how much of a failure she’d been when it really mattered.
>
  “Go to sleep, Lex.” He reached for her hand, prying her fist open. “This is our last weekend of summer and I intend to enjoy it.”

  “Night, Aidan,” she murmured into his chest.

  She drifted off to a peaceful sleep, confident he would keep the dreams away for one more night. Eventually she would have to deal with the dreams on her own. She could feel them swirling inside of her, begging to get out.

  The longer she put it off, the worse it was going to be.

  ~~~

  CHAPTER

  FOUR

  “Get ready for fake Aidan,” Aidan said as Allie and their friends headed across the courtyard of Cliffton Academy.

  “I hate that guy.” Allie shuddered, fidgeting with her blue and gray uniform. She’d had to talk herself into putting it on. Only one more year of plaid and she’d never have to look at it again.

  “It’s my armor, Lex. It’s my way of coping with all the crap I feel in a huge group of mortals. If I harden myself to it, it doesn’t affect me as much.”

  Allie understood he needed to do whatever he could to brace himself from the onslaught of every emotional and physical pain around him. She just wished everyone could know the real Aidan.

  “I don’t think any of us are ready for this year. I know I’m not looking forward to it.” Allie slowed as they reached the Greco-Roman admin hall to pick up their new schedules. “I know Quinn wouldn’t be with us anyway, but I feel the weight of his absence today. I miss him.” A fresh wave of guilt had her clenching her fists again. If she’d handled things differently, it was likely her friend would be heading off to college now instead of rotting in some Coalition prison somewhere.

  “Allie, my brother would be the first one to tell you not to blame yourself,” Graham said. “And he’d be the first one to tell you to get over it.”

  “We have to get him back, Graham. I just don’t know how we can help.”

  “I’m working on something. There may be a way for us to actually do something.”