Forbidden Daddy (Daddy Knows Best Book 3)

by Kelly Myers

  As quietly as I can, I open the back door and creep down my steps to the edge of my house.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Cynthia

  Tommy falls silent after his declaration that he has something to say. I raise my brows and force myself to maintain eye contact. Tommy is my friend. I need to let him speak the truth.

  “Yes?” I ask.

  I don’t have all night, after all.

  “Cynthia, I have feelings for you.” The confession falls out of Tommy in a rush, as if he’s been waiting years to say it. I guess, technically, he has. “I’ve felt them for ages, and I would hate myself if I didn’t tell you before we graduate.”

  I nod and chew on my lip. I don’t want to react in any way that might hurt him so I take my time with my answer.

  “We’ve always been such good friends,” I say at last.

  “I know, I know,” Tommy says. “And I’ve debated whether this would ruin our friendship, but I actually think that’s why we would work. I know you, and you get me. We’re both medical students, we both understand our priorities. Don’t you see how great we could be together?”

  He reminds me of a puppy. He’s so eager and excited. I can tell he’s been thinking about this for ages. He’s convinced himself that we’re the ideal match. I have to admit, he’s got tons of logical arguments on his side. Everything he’s saying makes sense. I’ve thought it to myself. We are the same age, and we are going to pursue careers in the same field.

  Only it’s not always about logic. As much as it pains me to admit, there are other factors to consider, like compatibility and attraction. And sometimes, it’s good to be with someone who is a little different. Nate and I are certainly not exactly alike, and our differences only make things more interesting.

  It would be simple with Tommy, but I don’t want it to be simple. I want Nate.

  I’m not going to say that to Tommy though. He needs to be handled with sensitivity. The last thing that is going to help this awkward situation is me bringing up my sexy older landlord that I’ve been secretly sleeping with for the last few weeks.

  “Tommy.” I reach out and put my hand on his forearm. “Don’t you think if it was meant to happen, it would have happened by now?”

  Tommy furrows his brow, as if he is totally confused by my question. “Cynthia, I just thought you weren’t ready to date or any of that. But now that we’re about to graduate, I had to try and see if there was a chance.”

  His voice peters out, and I’m moved by his apparent sadness. I do feel for him. Unrequited love can’t be very fun. That being said, Tommy will find someone else. He will discover someone who makes him feel like Nate makes me feel. Someone who will blow up his whole world, but he won’t even mind.

  “I just don’t think we’re right for each other,” I say. “I don’t think there’s a spark between us.”

  Tommy scoffs and rolls his eyes. “I thought you were too smart to believe in a ‘spark.’ That’s just what people say when they’re coming up with excuses.”

  I prickle at his words. I get that he’s a bit hurt, but there’s no need for him to be so dismissive.

  “Well, maybe I used to think that,” I say. “But now I think there is something. Relationships can’t just be about logic, there has to be passion as well.”

  Tommy narrows his eyes. “Is there someone else? Are you seeing someone?”

  I clamp my mouth shut. I’m so stupid, I should never have babbled on about sparks and passion.

  “No.” I try to keep my tone as gentle but firm as possible. “Tommy, it’s not about another person, it’s just about me and you. And I don’t think it will work. I don’t return your feelings.”

  Tommy slumps back against his seat and stares at his dashboard. It’s an awkward silence, and my instinct is to fill it with more assurances that I still think of him as a great friend, but I hold my tongue. Tommy doesn’t need to be babied right now. I also don’t want to leave the door open a crack or make him think he has some sort of distant shot.

  I wish there weren’t so many movies that glorified the quest for love and how you have to try again and again. I hate the trope that if a girl says no, it’s just because it’s the first time she’s being asked. You have to ask her out over and over, and then she’ll say yes. Sometimes it’s just not going to happen. Tommy needs to know that this is the case with us. It’s just not meant to be.

  “Cynthia, you don’t understand.” Tommy unbuckles his seatbelt and yanks at his hair. He’s getting truly distressed. “I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since sophomore year.”

  “Please, you don’t need to say all this,” I say. He’s making me feel guilty even though I’ve done nothing wrong. I never led him on ever. He has no reason to think his love should be returned. If it’s even true love. I don’t want to dismiss his feelings, but I sense it’s just a crush, nothing more. He’ll get over it.

  “I do need to say this.” Tommy leans forward. “I need you to know how much I care about you. And I get that you don’t date because you’re scared and so focused on school, but I just want a chance. Just give me a shot.”

  I blink and purse my lips. “I’m not scared to date.”

  This is why I dreaded this conversation. I sensed it would turn ugly. Tommy accusing me of being intimidated to date isn’t that offensive, but I don’t like the edge to his tone when he says it. As if I’m some uptight coward who just needs the right man to show me how wonderful love can be. Well, I’m not a coward. And I wasn’t scared. At least when I ended up in that bathroom alone with Nate, I wasn’t scared. I was brave enough to take that chance.

  “Come on, Cynthia, you’ve avoided any and all romance for four years,” he says. “Becca and I get truly worried about you, being all lonely and stuff.”

  “You don’t need to drag Becca into this,” I mutter.

  “She thinks we should be together too,” Tommy says. “Everyone thinks it!”

  “Becca likes to play matchmaker,” I snap. “And just because everyone thinks we should be together doesn’t mean we should. That’s not a good enough reason.”

  Tommy sighs and shakes his head. “I just don’t get it. Why won’t you even try with me? Am I that awful to you?”

  His voice is so sad and dejected that my annoyance vanishes. Tommy has insecurities, like the rest of us. He just wants to find someone to be with, and I can’t blame him for that. It’s just not me. He may think I’m the one now, but he’ll learn.

  I reach out and place my hand on his arm, trying to keep it as non-sensual as possible.

  “I’m so sorry, Tommy,” I whisper. “I just can’t change the way I feel.”

  He looks up at me, his eyes wide and filled with pain. Our faces are only inches apart, and suddenly the quarters feel way too cramped.

  “How do you know?” Tommy asks. “How can you be so sure?”

  I swallow. I want to look towards Nate’s house because that’s how I know. What I have with him is so undeniably the real thing that anything else is an obvious knock-off.

  I can’t say that to Tommy. First of all, he’s in such a delicate state, I know it won’t go over well if I confess I’m having an affair with a forty-year-old divorcee. Second, Tommy is likely to react with anger instead of understanding. He’ll lash out and say nasty things about how I’m being used and manipulated. If Nate and I stay together, I know we will have to go public eventually, and we will receive a lot of judgment when that day comes. I’m not ready for that. Nate and I need to sort out our own stuff and then face the critics together.

  I’m not willing to let Tommy judge us right now, just because he wants an explanation.

  “I guess I’m not sure how I know,” I say. “I just know. Sometimes you just have to trust your gut.”

  I meet his gaze and give him a small smile. I’m perturbed by the look in his eyes. He doesn’t appear sad or angry any more, he looks almost wild. As if he’s about to jump off a cliff.

  Then
he leans forward and presses his mouth against mine. I’m so shocked I don’t even move, I just sit perfectly still and widen my eyes as Tommy presses one hand against my neck and moves his lips against mine. He’s not rough or demanding. He’s just desperate. He thinks that because he wants me so much, he just needs to show me with a kiss. He thinks that one passionate kiss might change my mind. Tommy believes that this could be an epiphany. He will kiss me, and I’ll see fireworks. I’ll suddenly feel everything he feels for me.

  I feel nothing. I don’t feel disgusted, but I also don’t feel aroused or moved in the slightest.

  The kiss goes on for about three seconds. I decide to put an end to it. I lift my hand to Tommy’s chest and gently push him back.

  I can see by his expression that he knows in his heart of hearts that it’s over. He knows that wasn’t a good kiss. Definitely no fireworks. And yet there’s a glimmer of hope, and that is what makes me want to cry for him. Because I have to smash that hope. I can’t let him leave here thinking there’seven the slightest chance. That’s not fair to him.

  “No,” I whisper. “I can’t. I’m not the one for you.”

  Tommy blinks, and I get the strange sense that I just kicked a puppy. It had to be done though.

  He sighs and leans back, and I can see that at last he gets it. He tried, and I give him credit for that. I wouldn’t want him to keep this locked away inside him forever. He gave it his best shot, but it’s not going to work out. We both need to move on.

  The saddest part is that I’m losing a friend. Tommy and I will never be able to return to the easy camaraderie we once shared. Not after this. Instead of enjoying our final days before graduation, we are going to have to feel awkward and strained.

  Tommy has been one of my best friends in college, but now I’m not even sure if I want to stay in touch with him as I move on with my life. I feel bad for Becca too. Whether or not I share this with her, our friend group is never going to be what it once was.

  “I’m sorry,” Tommy says. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

  “It’s ok,” I say. “I’m sorry too.”

  I look over at him as he hunches over his steering wheel, and I feel an overwhelming rush of pity. This conversation has been awkward for the both of us, but at least I didn’t put my heart on the line only to get it crushed. That might happen to me later with Nate, but for now I have hope that Nate and I could work out.

  “Tommy, someday you’re going to meet the right person,” I say. “And it’s going to be amazing, I promise.”

  I lean forward and kiss him on the cheek. Then I unbuckle and get out of the car.

  Tommy gives me a faint wave and pulls out. I stand in the driveway as he turns onto the street and disappears.

  “Well, that was adorable.”

  I jump at the sarcastic voice emerging from the shadows. I turn and there is Nate, emerging from the darkness like some sort of vengeful demon.

  My heart drops into my stomach as I see the look on his face. He’s not happy to see me. In fact, he wears an expression of pure and unbridled fury.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Nate

  If seeing Cynthia talk to another guy was agony, watching her kiss him was beyond agony. I have never felt such rage. If the kiss had lasted any longer, I would have torn open the car door and yanked him away from her.

  Cynthia looks up at me, her face a mix of shock and worry. She doesn’t look guilty though.

  I’m still not sure if she should. Yes, it was a brief kiss, and we never defined our relationship, but it still happened. She was still alone with another man in a situation that led to it. And I didn’t see her pulling away.

  I have no idea what was said in that car. All I know is that the woman I thought was loyal and dedicated to me as much as I am to her just let another man kiss her.

  “Nate,” Cynthia says. “How much did you see?”

  I cross my arms. I want to scream and shout, but I don’t want to lose control. I’ve never hidden how I’ve felt from Cynthia, but now I don’t want her to know how upset this has made me.

  “That was your good friend Tommy, I’m guessing.” My voice comes out in a low growl, and Cynthia flinches.

  I get a sick sort of pleasure from watching her realize that I’m not happy. She takes a step back and inhales deeply. For a moment, I get a flash of sympathy. She looks so overwhelmed, I want to rush over and hold her in my arms and tell her it will be alright.

  But I nip that instinctive urge in the bud. Cynthia has just shown that she can’t be trusted. And we’re not on the same page. I thought we had strong feelings that just needed to be expressed. I believed that our issue was timing and deciding how we were going to handle the future. Now it’s looking like we have a whole other batch of problems. Like Cynthia possibly being into another man.

  All I know is that even though we have not declared monogamy, I wouldn’t dream of kissing another woman. Cynthia has become everything to me. And the fact that she isn’t as serious about me makes me want to punch a way. And then maybe Tommy’s face for good measure.

  I should have known better than to woo a younger woman. She’s too immature and fickle to know what she wants.

  “Nate, that was nothing,” Cynthia gasps.

  She takes another step forward, one hand uplifted. She looks so fragile and innocent. Her face is somehow thinner than it was this morning, as if she’s lived through multiple days in the hours since last I saw her. If I wasn’t so furious with her, I would want to cook her a warm meal of soup and a cup of tea. That’s how exhausted she looks.

  “It didn’t look like nothing,” I say.

  “He kissed me but I didn’t kiss him back,” Cynthia says. “Please believe me.”

  I hold up my hand. “I don’t know if I can believe you or trust you, Cynthia.”

  Her shoulders deflate. She doesn’t even have the energy to fight me on this. I want her to fight though. I want her to kick and scream and tell me her side of the story. I want her to prove to me that she is who I thought she was. I want her to fight for the right to be mine.

  She doesn’t say anything. She just looks down at the ground.

  “Tommy is one of my best friends,” Cynthia whispers. “He told me he has feelings for me tonight.”

  Pain, hot and sharp, lances through my entire body. Tommy finally confessed (he only had four years to do it), and now Cynthia is seeing the error of her ways. Why would she be with an old man who is set in his curmudgeonly ways when she could be with someone young and malleable? Someone who understands her.

  She probably even regrets losing her virginity to me. If she had just waited a few weeks, Tommy would finally have grown the balls to tell her how he felt, and then she could have given her virginity to him. It would have been sweet and adorable, and I bet neither one of them would have come, but I’m sure they would have been a happy couple nonetheless.

  And I ruined all that. I’m still ruining it by standing out here and glaring at her. She’s probably terrified that Tommy will return for one last lame kiss, and he will see me with her, and then everyone will know her dirty little secret.

  The kiss didn’t look very passionate, I’ll admit that. But it still happened. And it has rocked me to my very core how much seeing her with someone else affected me. I’ve never been like this. I thought I shut off this side of myself long ago. I thought I didn’t feel things like this anymore.

  “That’s very sweet,” I mutter. “And I suppose you now realize that he makes much more sense than I do. He fits into your grand life plan.”

  Cynthia takes a shuddering breath, and I hear the telltale rattle of a sob in her throat.

  “Please, Nate, don’t say that,” she gasps. “It wasn’t like that.”

  “Then what was it like?” I snap. “You just got carried away with emotions? You realized that this whole time you’ve been in love with him as well, and I’ve just been the distraction? Or no, I’ve been the practicing partner. You wanted to get some
experience in before you hopped in bed with Tommy?”

  Cynthia gasps and looks away as if I’ve slapped her. I know my words are cruel. I know I’m going too far. But I just want to hurt her like she has hurt me.

  Plus, she’s not offering me any explanation. I’m desperate for her to say something, anything, but instead she’s standing there with her haunted eyes and her heaving chest, as if she can’t physically form words.

  If what just happened between her and Tommy truly meant nothing, she would tell me right now. Her silence is her condemnation.

  “I shouldn’t have gone to that party,” she says at last. “I was just so confused about us.”

  I roll my eyes. “You didn’t look that confused when you were in a car with another man at midnight.”

  Her words fizzle out and she stares hard at the ground.

  “I’ll make this easy for you,” I say. “You say you’re confused? I’ll clear it up for you.”

  I take a step forward so that I’m towering above her. Cynthia looks so young and lost, and I realize that this has always been the problem. She’s too young. Too unsure of how to handle this. She ran away tonight. Whether or not she’s into Tommy, she ran away from the situation with me to go to the college party, and this is where we ended up.

  “We’re nothing,” I say. “Our thing, whatever it was, is over.”

  “Nate.” Cynthia only says my name. She can’t seem to find the voice to say anything else.

  “You said you didn’t see a future with me, right?” I say. “That was always what you were concerned about, the future and how we just didn’t make sense. I just didn’t fit into your life.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that,” she mutters.

  I ignore her. Cynthia is confused. It’s not her fault, but she needs to learn that life isn’t fair. Things worth having don’t come easy. If she wanted to be with me, she shouldn’t have given up so easily.

  Of course, maybe she never really wanted to be with me. It was fun for a while. A good hook-up. Someone to cook her nice meals and take care of her desires. A scandalous story she could share with her girlfriends over wine.