by Sadie Moss
But from my bubble of silence, I’ve learned to read people’s intentions and emotions without having to speak to them. I’ve watched, unnoticed, and gleaned secrets and truths that people thought they were keeping buried deep inside.
I know how Beckett feels about Trinity. Possibly even better than he knows it himself.
All of my brothers have feelings for her.
Just like I do.
When I first met the angel, I thought the feelings she stirred in me were because of the jealousy I often feel toward my brothers. I saw the way she looked at them, the way she was affected by them—and like so many other things, I coveted that too. The envy that has infected my soul since my creation tells me constantly that others are more deserving of success, of love, of happiness. That those things will never be mine.
But I want them. I crave those things, and when I see what others have, I want it for myself.
Last night, the only two of us who held back were myself and Ryland. I know our reasons were different, but the end result was the same. We denied ourselves what we truly wanted, letting old scars and deep wounds keep us locked inside ourselves.
We are our own worst enemies, yet we’re unable to stop making the same mistakes over and over and over again.
When Trinity woke up last night and found me watching her, the softness in her eyes nearly broke my heart. When she held out her hand to me, I could feel the yearning inside her. And I nearly gave in. I nearly crawled across the mattress and draped my body over hers, letting our bodies mold together like two halves of a whole.
But still, there was that voice in my head—the constant drumbeat reminding me that I’m not good enough for her, that she’ll never care for me like she cares for my brothers, that she’s not meant for me.
As if she can somehow read my thoughts, Trinity’s gaze shifts to me. Her dark brown eyes are earnest and open as she leans toward me.
“Knight, what do you think? What’s the best way to try to get the crystal?”
I could almost convince myself that she’s asking out of pity, trying to include the poor mute man in the conversation. But her expression holds only curiosity and excitement.
Fuck, I wish I could speak. I wish I could tell her everything I’m thinking. Maybe if I did, this feeling that there’s a chasm between us that will never be breached would go away.
But I can’t. So I reluctantly draw my gaze away from her and focus on Nix behind her as I gesture quickly with my hands.
We should split into two teams. One to provide cover and a distraction, and a smaller one to steal the crystal.
My brothers can all understand what I said, but Nix translates my thoughts to Trinity, murmuring in her ear.
She nods, her expression thoughtful. “That makes sense. If we all try to sneak in as a group, we’ll gain the advantage of numbers but lose any hope of stealth. You guys aren’t the quietest bunch.” She rolls her eyes, then flushes slightly, glancing at me with a small smile. “Well, some of you are.”
There’s something almost shy in her expression, as if she expects me to be the one to reject her. As if she doesn’t know that my heart beats harder when she looks at me. As if it’s never occurred to her that I’m not good enough.
A fresh wave of envy washes through me, and I wish I were Beckett or Ryland or even Ford. I would stride across the room and lift her from Nix’s lap, then settle into a chair with her on mine, my arms around her and her perfect ass nestled against me.
I should be the one to steal the crystal, I say instead of doing any of that.
When Nix translates, Trinity’s brows pull together. “Are you sure? That’s probably the most dangerous part of the mission.”
“Knight is the most qualified out of any of us for something like this,” Remington says, shooting me an affectionate look. “He’s a damn good thief.”
A swell of pride rises in my chest for a moment as Trinity’s face lights up. “Really?”
I nod. Like you said, I’m quiet. I’m good at not being noticed.
Something passes through her expression briefly as Nix translates, a shadow that dims the light in her eyes. Her gaze finds mine, and she opens her mouth like she wants to say something, but then she glances around the table and seems to change her mind.
She smiles at me. “Well, if you’re going in after the crystal, I’m going with you. I think I can help. I’ve got my wings and I can turn invisible, which have to be pretty useful skills for breaking and entering, right? The others can provide a diversion for us while we sneak inside.”
Ford tenses, his muscles bunching as he scowls. “No. It’s too fucking dangerous.”
Trinity turns to him, shaking her head. “It can’t be more dangerous than helping create a diversion—whoever does that will literally be painting a target on their back. The whole point of what Knight and I will be doing is to remain unseen.” Her eyes narrow, her plush lips pressing into a thin line. “And don’t even think about telling me to sit this entire thing out, or I’ll fight you myself.”
Nix and Remi burst into laughter, and Ford blinks, looking startled at the vehemence of her response.
“I actually think you might be able to give him a run for his money, Trin,” Nix jokes, still grinning broadly as he looks over at our brother. “But that’s only because Ford turns into a big ol’ softie around you.”
Ford growls something under his breath, looking away as Nix chuckles again. Trinity flushes as she sneaks a glance at Wrath, and I can see something soft and hopeful overtake her features.
As if she hopes Nix’s words are true.
As if she doesn’t know how much she’s changed all of us already.
Chapter Twenty-Five
TRINITY
Part of me can’t believe we’re doing this.
I mean, this is insane, right?
We’re actually going to steal the crystal. We’re not just going to give it up and try to come up with a new plan, we’re not going to go off and find another crystal, and we’re not going to try to get back into the competition. We’re going to just straight-up steal it.
And I’m one hundred percent on board with this.
I’ve kind of given up on worrying about how easily I get on board with these men’s plans, no matter how crazy or dangerous or illegal they may be. Anyway, wasn’t this my idea in the first place? Wasn’t I the first one who suggested theft as a possible option?
We don’t have a lot of time left. I want to do whatever it takes to save the people being attacked by the corrupted, by Downstairs, and that means closing these portals. And that means getting this crystal. If we have to steal to do it… well, yes, stealing is bad. Objectively, that’s true.
But this is going to serve a greater good.
Surely doing something that’s a bit bad in service of a much greater good, in the service of helping people, is better than refusing to break the rules and do the objectively bad thing even if it means that people suffer.
The spirit of the law and your intentions are more important than following the letter of the law. Right?
Hoo boy.
I’m really starting to understand why I fell from Heaven all those years ago, why I got banished to Earth. Because angels have to obey the rules, and I don’t.
I wonder if the men are bringing this out in me more, or if I was always like this and am just showing more of this side of myself now that push is coming to shove. Either way, it’s not a question I can really worry about right now. I’ll concern myself with the morality of this scheme after we’ve gotten the crystal and taken care of these portals.
Knight gives me a look that I don’t need a translator to understand—he’s clearly saying are you okay? The raised eyebrows, tilt of his head, and concern in his eyes couldn’t really mean anything else.
I nod. “I’m all right,” I whisper. “Let’s do this.”
The ceremony where the winning contestant will be presented with the prize is taking place in a circle of stones out on
the moor, supposedly a place of ancient magic. Until then, the Barakah Crystal is being held in a nearby estate under guard. The estate is a lot like the mansion Ryland rented for us—big, fancy, and old—except it also comes equipped with a buttload of home security measures.
Because the crystal is so valuable and rare, it’s going to be held at the estate until the last minute. We considered going after it while it’s being transported to the stone circle for the ceremony, but that’s when people will expect it to be stolen and vulnerable. Beckett and Ryland put their heads together—reluctantly—and decided our best option is to steal the crystal from the estate before the transport happens. The security team will hopefully be a bit relaxed, letting their guards down as they prepare everything.
And in all the chaos and hubbub, Knight and I will have a better chance of sneaking in without being noticed.
I, of course, can turn invisible. Knight can’t make himself literally invisible, but he can make himself… unseen. Overlooked. I think it’s a part of his nature, being Envy. To always be on the outside looking in, never noticed. It’s what causes that deep, unending ache I can sometimes sense in Knight. But in this particular moment, it’ll also prove to be an asset.
“Are you ready?” I murmur.
He nods, and I step forward, awkwardly wrapping my arms around him.
I let my wings pop out, and with a powerful sweep, I launch us into the air. Knight’s heavy, but my wings are powerful, and I hold on to him tightly as I carry us both up to the roof. It’s not the most graceful flight I’ve ever taken, and I wouldn’t count on this as a strategy in the middle of a battle—but for our purposes, it works fine.
Once we reach the roof, I pull my wings back into my body and step away from Knight. His almond scent clings to my clothes as his chocolate brown eyes search for my face even though he can’t see me, and my stomach gives a little flutter.
Knight holds himself back from me almost as much as Ryland does, but I know it’s for entirely different reasons. The tight embrace we were in as I flew us up to the roof is the closest we’ve been since the night I followed him to his room, and I sort of hate that it took a risky breaking and entering mission to make us touch like that.
Now isn’t the time to broach that with him though. I’d never forgive myself if we got caught or failed in our assignment because I made us stop and talk about our feelings on a rooftop.
Or not talk about them, I guess.
“There. Try that one. The window on the left.” I point to one of the upstairs windows several yards away from us, remembering too late that Knight can’t see me. But he nods and moves toward it anyway, having already spotted it as the best target.
He gently works open the window, taking care not to trip the security measures. I don’t know what they are—I can’t even see them, but Knight can. One of his many skills is, apparently, breaking and entering.
I’m curious about all the kinds of jobs Knight has had, and I want to ask him more—but somehow, I’m not surprised that he’s a skilled thief. People often steal because they’re envious, after all.
Being invisible doesn’t mean that nobody can hear me if I make a loud noise, so I’m quiet as I possibly can be while we creep downstairs. There are supernatural creatures stationed everywhere as guards, but they don’t seem to really be paying attention to possible intruders. They’re all discussing the competition.
I wince as some of them mention me and what happened with the sins when they jumped in.
“What kind of nonsense was that?”
“Are they some kind of hive mind?”
“I’ve never seen anything like that in the history of the competition.”
Some of them do, at least, seem to be impressed with the men and how they were fighting—“I wouldn’t want to get on their bad side”—which fills me with pride and also confuses me because, well, I shouldn’t be proud of them for breaking the rules and making it that much harder for us to get the Barakah Crystal.
But I am kind of proud. They impressed everybody with their skill and their fighting prowess, and that means something to me. Even if it shouldn’t.
Knight signals for me to follow him. I’m starting to figure out what his more basic signals mean, although it’ll take me more time to be able to converse with him properly. I want to learn though. I want to be able to talk to him like I can the others; I don’t want him to feel left out at all, and I hate that he sometimes does.
I follow Knight down the stairs, skirting around some more people who are milling around the large space, and there it is. Sealed in what looks like an ordinary glass case—but most definitely isn’t ordinary at all—rests the crystal.
I can tell it’s special right away. It’s shaped like a diamond, but inside, it’s like a black opal, iridescent and refracting the colors of the rainbow, dark emerald facets reflecting the light.
Even if I didn’t know exactly what it did, I’d know that it was magic of some kind.
Knight stares at the crystal for a moment, transfixed, and I know how he’s feeling. It’s written all over his face: he wants it. The envy of whoever won it is eating at him, a craving rising up for something that isn’t his.
I bump him lightly with my shoulder. We can’t have him focusing too hard on his envy or he’ll make everyone around him envious as well, and that’ll just cause problems.
We’re the only ones who are supposed to steal the crystal. I don’t want it to become some kind of mad free-for-all.
Knight looks over at me, then nods gratefully. I focus back on the crystal. Okay. I have no clue how to get inside the case, but I’m sure Knight does, which means it’s my job to make sure nobody pays attention while he retrieves the crystal.
“What the fuck?” someone yells. I dodge moving bodies as the occupants of the room all suddenly bolt for the entrance.
Ah-ha. That’ll be the distraction from the other men, who are attacking the contestants at the circle of stones.
“Fucking—sore losers,” I hear someone say. The guards are all yelling into their radios and communication charms, trying to coordinate, asking if they should come down and break things up, if everyone’s okay, what’s happening.
As the chaos moves away from us, Knight takes his chance. He darts forward without a sound and begins doing something with the glass case that the crystal is in, his fingers flying around it but not touching it, his face a hard mask of concentration.
It’s spellbinding to watch him, and I’m entranced, even… dare I say, turned on a bit? Watching him do what he’s good at is attracting me just like watching Sawyer wield my sword did. Seeing one of the men excel at something they have skill in is apparently a weakness of mine.
Finally, Knight lifts the glass case and sets it aside, then picks up the crystal. He moves carefully, like he’s Indiana Jones making sure he won’t trigger some new trap.
He holds the mesmerizing crystal out to me, and I take it, letting Knight reset the glass case. Hopefully that’ll confuse the guards a bit when they realize the crystal’s missing. Everyone is still gathered near the entrance to the estate, and my shoulders start to relax a bit.
We’re going to be okay. We did it.
“Hey!”
The voice from behind me makes my heart jump.
I whirl around, and the next thing I know, someone’s crashing into me. Fangs sink into my neck, and I think, oh shit, vampire! And then I think, how the frick did it know where I was standing?
Something heavy crashes into the vampire that’s latched on to me, and I’m yanked free, stumbling back.
Ow.
My neck and shoulder really hurt. I bring a hand up to clamp down on the pain, and my hand immediately gets wet, sticky—oh, with my blood. That’s not a very good thing, is it?
Knight and the vampire are wrestling on the floor, and as I look for an opening to help, I notice Knight’s eyes glowing a little.
I realize what that means a split second before Ford barges into the room. H
e’s been summoned by Knight’s psychic call. He throws himself into the fight, tackling the vampire with all the wrath of, well, Wrath.
The others appear as well. They must’ve used one of Beck’s group transportation spells to get here so fast. Remi immediately wraps his arms around me, hefting me up.
“Ah, shit, Trin. Here. Keep pressure on it—”
Knight signs something quickly to Beckett as more guards pour in and the other brothers have to take up the fight as well.
Beckett swears. “The guards must’ve been attuned to the crystal somehow, and vampires can smell blood—doesn’t matter if you’re invisible or not. All right. Hold them off, would you?”
“Why do you always sound like you’re in a board meeting? Even when you’re in the middle of a fight?” I ask—or rather, slur.
I’m very dizzy. Huh. Must be the lack of blood.
For some reason, that makes me giggle.
“Now would be a great time to use the crystal,” Remi notes, worry tingeing his voice.
Oh, yeah. He’s right.
I hold up the crystal in my hands and concentrate. I have no idea how to use this thing, or any other magical object. But it pulses in my hand, warm like a beating heart, and I feel as if it’s connecting to my brain somehow. Or maybe my heart. Like it’s asking what I want from it.
Close the portals, I think. Destroy them, all of them, all at once. No more. No more. No more.
The crystal pulses again, and I feel something ripple through me and then outward, like a spiderweb—the same way the portals do when we destroy one of them.
Only instead of darkness, it’s light, and I can feel it spreading. It’s like a wound is closing up in the world. Multiple wounds. I can almost-but-not-quite see it all happening, the portals being destroyed and no new ones being made. Downstairs being cut off from this world once again, no more corrupted able to crawl out and hurt innocent people.
Well, thank Heaven for that. Or, well, thank someone. Thank me? Sure, we’ll go with that, I closed the portals. Thank me!