No Shame: The Complete Series: Including exclusive bonus materials and deleted scenes

by Phoenix, Nora

  Josh didn’t say since the accident, or since losing his leg, which was what Connor had expected. Did this have to do with what happened to Josh?

  “And you? Why did you agree?”

  “Why wouldn’t I? I’m gay after all, and I got the chance to fuck the man I had wanted all this time, right?”

  The bitterness in Josh's voice made Connor’s stomach turn. “Bullshit. You don’t owe me an explanation, but don’t try to feed me this crap.”

  “I just want to feel good, to stop thinking, to stop being scared. When Noah fucks me, I can forget about everything else,” Josh said, his voice barely audible.

  A thousand questions burned on Connor’s tongue, but he held them in. It was hard sometimes to turn off the interrogation mode, the suspicious cop-mode, but it wouldn’t do him any good to push Josh. He would tell Connor when he was ready. Instead, Connor let his hands explore Josh's body further. God, his skin was so velvety soft, and yet his muscles were so tight. Not as tight as his ass. Oh, god, Josh's ass. It was sheer perfection. His hands found the two cheeks again, caressing them, sliding a finger up and down his crack where Josh's hole was still wide open from being fucked.

  “Did that work with me as well?” It was the closest Connor could say without saying too much, demanding too much.

  “Baby, when your cock is in my ass I can’t even think at all,” Josh whispered, hitting Connor’s heart.

  And didn’t that make Connor feel more wanted than he had ever been in his entire life? Even his cock stirred, and Connor hadn’t thought it would rear its head again for hours at least, considering the fuck fest they’d had.

  Josh chuckled. “You like that, huh?” Josh's hand squeezed between them, grabbed his shaft. “How the fuck can you get hard again? You came twice already. You got some serious stamina.”

  Connor groaned, as much in embarrassment as in pleasure. Josh had better not think it hadn’t been good for him, that Connor wanted more. “Sorry, can’t help it. You’re so fucking gorgeous. Even touching you makes me hard again. But it’s okay. I’m not expecting anything.”

  Josh slid his thumb over the head of Connor’s shaft, teasing the slit on top. “Oh, I’m expecting much more. But I need to regain my strength first, so how about we clean up, grab a bite to eat, and we’ll go for round two after that?”

  Connor had no words. None. At least not words that came even close to expressing how he felt. Instead, he said, “Sounds like a plan.”

  They cleaned themselves with a washcloth and got dressed without the awkwardness Connor had expected. He followed Josh downstairs to the luxurious kitchen.

  “I’d planned something elaborate, but I can’t find the energy for that right now. So what are you in the mood for?” Josh stuck his head in the fridge. “Pasta? Steaks on the grill? Salad?”

  “Whatever you want,” Connor said, lowering himself on a bar stool so he could watch his lover cook.

  Josh looked over his shoulder. “That’s not how we roll here. Tell me what you want.” He closed the fridge, walked up to Connor, parked himself between Connor’s legs. “Stop being so damn careful with what you say. I’m not that fragile, you know. You’re not being yourself, and I like you bossy and arrogant.” He kissed Connor, then turned around.

  He wanted bossy and arrogant? That could be arranged. Connor yanked Josh back by his arm, pushing him backwards on his lap so his cock was plastered to Josh's ass. He slipped his arm around Josh's chest, held him tight. “In that case, make whatever is the fastest so I can pound your sweet, tight hole again,” he breathed into Josh's ear.

  Josh went liquid in his arms, melting against him. “Fuck, you turn me on,” Josh moaned, grinding his ass against Connor’s dick.

  “That’s good, because I want to suck your cock…hard. I want you to come in my mouth, screaming my name.”

  “Damn, you’re good at this,” Josh said half-laughing, turning his head to kiss Connor. “Pasta it is.”

  Josh pushed against Connor’s arms, and he let him go immediately. Connor followed Josh with his eyes as he walked back to the fridge, took out ingredients. The bulge of Josh's erection was visible in his tight jeans, and Connor smiled. Josh hadn’t been lying. He did get off on Connor being the alpha.

  Could it be that Connor had finally found someone where he could be himself? Where he could be gay and dominant at the same time, not being forced to bow to someone else’s wishes? Oh, he didn’t mind compromising, not one bit. But every cell in him had protested against submitting. He wanted to be the guy on top, wanted to be the protector, the strong one. Would Josh be the one who let him?

  Josh cut small tomatoes in parts and threw them into a bowl, added some salad greens, bacon bits, and moist cheese he cut into small pieces. He pulled a plastic container from the fridge that contained cooked pasta. Salt, pepper, some herbs were carelessly thrown in, together with a hefty pour of what Connor assumed was olive oil. Grated cheese on top and the pasta salad was not only done but looked like something a restaurant would serve.

  “Pasta salad with arugula, bacon, mozzarella, tomatoes, and Parmesan cheese,” Josh said. “I hope you like cheese.”

  “I love cheese. Love all food, really. After eating MRE’s for years, anything tastes better than that crap.”

  Meals ready to eat. If ever there was a rip-off, that was it. There was a reason Marines called them the three lies: they weren’t meals, they weren’t ready, and they sure as hell weren’t edible. Lukewarm cardboard was how Lucas had described it. Or heated pillow stuffing. Warm wallpaper glue. He’d had dozens of creative terms to describe the absolutely shitty taste of the MRE’s. God, he missed him. Would it ever go away?

  “Amen to that,” Josh grinned, bringing Connor back to the present. He didn’t want to think about Lucas, not when he was with Josh.

  Josh grabbed two bowls from a cabinet, dumped a little over half the salad in one bowl and handed it to Connor. “Eat up. You’re gonna need it.”

  “Now how the hell am I supposed to want food when you say something like that?” Connor complained, laughing.

  Josh deposited the rest of the salad in the other bowl, yanked open a drawer and grabbed two spoons. “Imagine how much harder you’ll be able to fuck me if you’ve replenished your strength.”

  Connor’s hand got stuck halfway to his mouth with a spoonful of the pasta salad. “Keep talking like that, and you’ll find out how hard I can fuck you without eating a damn bit,” he growled.

  Josh's eyes sparkled as he laughed. Connor took a bite, almost moaning when the taste hit his tongue. The combination of the crunchy, salty bacon with the juicy tomatoes, the soft mozzarella, the slightly bitter salad, and the rich pasta—it was perfect. He’d never even known food could be that good, being a rather simple guy himself when it came to chow.

  “Damn, this is good,” he said, taking another big bite. “Sorry baby, your food wins over your ass. At least for now.”

  They kept teasing and flirting with each other throughout the meal. Josh stayed across from Connor, the breakfast counter between them. Wise decision because Connor could barely keep his hands off the guy as it was.

  They discovered they had the same taste in movies and TV series, but Connor wasn’t as much into books as Josh was. They were both runners, Josh preferring long distances while Connor liked short, intensive runs and hikes. The shy Josh he’d encountered at the Stewart’s disappeared, but he was still as cute and sweet as he’d been then.

  Connor finished his bowl of pasta with ease, licking his lips when he was done. “Delicious,” he said, pushing the bowl away from him.

  Josh picked it up, rinsed it off and set it in the dishwasher. Hmm, he was a little neat freak, wasn’t he? Connor could so get used to that, liking structure and order himself.

  He admired Josh's ass as the guy bent to put the plates and silverware on the lower rack of the dishwasher. How could he want him again so much? What was it that made Josh have such power over him? His dick had been hard the entire
meal, never letting up. Every time Josh had licked his plump lips, closing his mouth around that spoon, Connor had imagined that mouth around his cock again.

  “You like the view?” Josh said, catching his stare. He closed the dishwasher, his eyes burning into Connor’s.

  Connor didn’t even try to hide it. “Come here,” he said.

  Josh's eyes never left his as he walked over to Connor.

  “Drop your pants.”

  A powerful surge tore through him when Josh did as Connor told him. Josh's face didn’t show a trace of fear or hesitation, but pure expectation. Connor shoved the bar stool back, then yanked Josh toward him and with one move, lifted him bare-assed onto the counter. Oh, yeah, he had him exactly where he wanted him.

  “Spread your legs.”

  Josh shivered but did as Connor asked. He pulled his bar stool forward until he was in the perfect position, his face in Josh's crotch. Josh's long, slim cock was solid hard, and he couldn’t wait to get his mouth around him.

  “Tell me how to suck you. I will do exactly what you tell me, but you have to give me detailed instructions.”

  Josh moaned, leaning back on his hands for support. “Kiss my thighs and work up to my balls.”

  Connor dropped butterfly kisses on Josh's inner legs, licking and scraping his sensitive skin with his teeth. Josh was already trembling under his hands.

  “Can you give my balls some loving attention?” Josh's voice was hoarse.

  Connor dragged his tongue over Josh's left testicle, then used his nail to tease the other. Should he suck them? Would it feel good? Josh hadn’t done it to him, but the thought of Josh's hot mouth around one of his balls made his cock jump. He opened his mouth, licking and sucking around Josh' nut. Josh jerked, moaned. Encouraged, Connor took his entire left testicle in his mouth, sucking gently.

  “Holy fuck!” Josh bucked, grabbed Connor’s head with one hand.

  Connor repeated the approach for the other testicle, Josh’s groans cheering him on.

  “God, you’re good at this… Drag your tongue upwards from my balls all the way to the head.”

  Connor licked the entire length, going back and forth a few times, sucking and dropping kisses and savoring this gorgeous shaft. His own cock was a beast, but Josh wasn’t small either. He wasn’t as thick, which was good because it would help Connor suck him better.

  Connor lapped as if Josh's cock was a dripping ice cream cone he couldn’t lick fast enough to prevent it from melting. Except the taste was different, salty and creamy. He took his time licking around the head, mixing his saliva with the precum that Josh leaked.

  “Take the crown in your mouth and suck it. I’m—Oh!”

  Connor dropped his mouth on Josh, took him in and sucked. He tongued the slit, then paid special attention to the sensitive area between the head and the shaft. He himself had about exploded when Josh's tongue had teased him there, so he was dying to return the favor. Josh’s hips came off the counter, and he thrust into Connor’s mouth.

  Connor pushed him back down, let Josh's cock slide out of his mouth. “You getting impatient on me? Do you want me to stop?”

  “Fuck, no, sorry… Please don’t stop.” There was actual remorse in Josh's voice.

  “Baby, I wouldn’t stop for the world,” Connor said, then took Josh back into his mouth. He grabbed the base of Josh's cock with his other hand, squeezing and releasing. He never knew sucking cock could feel so good, in a way even better than having your dick in someone’s mouth. Seeing the pleasure he was bringing Josh, it was an incredible rush.

  “Slowly work your way down, see how far you can take me in.”

  Josh's hand caressed Connor’s head, his hair. Josh had his head thrown back, his muscles tight with tension. Connor opened his mouth wider, taking Josh in deeper and sucking harder.

  “Oh, fuck! Connor…ah!”

  Josh's hips flexed again, but Connor felt him coming and relaxed his tongue, taking him in. Josh's balls tightened in Connor’s hand. He was close. Connor pulled back, not wanting to choke on Josh's cum as he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to swallow.

  Josh grunted, swore, bucked, but Connor had an iron grip on the guy’s hips. He kept sucking, kept moving his head up and down Josh's shaft.

  “Connor!” Josh warned. He jerked his hips, spasmed, let out a deep, low growl as he shot his fluids in Connor’s mouth. Connor swallowed, pushing back Josh's cock, then sucked and swallowed again. He didn’t stop sucking and licking until Josh lay limp on the counter.

  Connor dropped Josh's cock, then lifted him off the counter and sat him on his lap, hugging him. Josh was weak, still trembling from his release. Connor sought his mouth, kissed him deeply, stroking Josh's back, arms, and ass.

  “Fuck, Connor, that was…” Josh leaned his forehead against Connor’s, still panting. “You’re a natural. Seriously. Perfect technique and A for effort.”

  “Only an A? Hmm, will have to try harder to get an A-plus next time.”

  “I won’t survive an A-plus, not kidding. I’m pretty sure I drew cum from my toes.”

  Connor was ridiculously pleased with the praise. He’d been wicked scared to disappoint Josh, considering what a master the guy was at giving head, but also since he had so much more experience. The comparison with Noah wasn’t fair, but it was there all right.

  “Connor?” Josh leaned back to meet his eyes. “Why don’t I catch my breath while you run upstairs.”

  Connor frowned. “To do what?”

  Josh ground his ass on Connor’s cock. “Take a guess.”

  “I don’t expect you to… Are you sure? Isn’t it still…” Connor stammered.

  “The offer expires in 30 seconds, so make it snappy,” Josh said and slid off Connor’s lap. Connor wasted five seconds by staring at Josh in disbelief. He couldn’t seriously be ready to…? Was he? Damn, he was. Josh wanted to be fucked again; the sheer lust on his face was obvious.

  Connor shot to his feet and took a sprint through the kitchen, up the stairs, Josh's laughter following him. The lube was still on the bed and he grabbed it, then yanked a condom from his wallet and raced back down. Josh was waiting for him, his arms leaning on the counter, his underwear and pants on the floor, his legs spread wide. The invitation could not be clearer.

  Connor dropped his pants and boxers in a second. He rolled the condom on with a little less fumbling than last time, though still not as quick and practiced as he’d liked. He flipped the top of the lube off with his thumb and took a healthy dose, rubbing it over his sheathed cock. With a quick motion, he threw the lube on the counter, a last bit of glob left on his right fingers.

  He inserted a lubed finger into Josh's hole. It was still so stretched, that he easily added a second, then a third. He spread the lube around, circling and probing.

  “Fuck me already,” Josh snapped, pushing Connor’s hands away. “I want your cock to fill me again.”

  Connor guided himself in with his right hand, circled his left hand around Josh's chest, pulling him close. “I want to feel you, hold you tight. That okay with you?”

  Josh grunted.

  “It’s not too tight with my arm like this?” Connor checked again.

  “Shut the fuck up and work that cock,” Josh said, his voice low.

  Sweeter words had never reached Connor’s ears, and he eased in. Josh tensed up at first but quickly relaxed, and Connor’s cock slid in without resistance. He did an experimental thrust, circled his cock to make sure Josh was ready. Josh's ass was completely relaxed, engulfing him in that tight way that transformed Connor into an animal with the desperation to breed.

  “Brace yourself,” he groaned.

  “Finally.” Josh pushed his ass back.

  Connor forgot all about wanting to take it easy and slammed deep into him, holding Josh's body tight to protect him from the impact. Damn, standing behind him like that, he had the perfect angle to hit that sweet spot, too. His next thrust proved it as Josh moaned and jerked. He bowed over Josh, holdin
g him down with some of his weight, scraping Josh's neck with his teeth as he rammed his cock into him, again and again and again.

  “Fuck, your ass is heaven.” Connor wasn’t even sure if he thought it or had said it out loud. The roar in his ears prevented him from hearing anything else but his heartbeat in his head and the hum of ecstasy in his veins. He plunged in again, hard, pleasure surging from his toes to the core of his balls.

  “Damn you, motherfucker, I will fucking kill you!” Connor was yanked back by two strong arms, spun around. He tripped over the pants at his ankles, still struggling to find balance when a fist hit him square in the mouth, and he went down hard. A large weight dropped on top of him, and he took another hit to the jaw that knocked him out cold.

  5

  One second Josh was writhing in pleasure, Connor’s fat cock filling him to the max, the next Connor’s dick was brutally yanked out of him, and he almost fell with the force of it.

  Noah was yelling, furious.

  What the fuck?

  “Noah, no!” Indy screamed.

  Disoriented, Josh stumbled. His entire body froze. Connor was on the ground, bare-assed, Noah beating the shit out of him.

  Why? Oh, God, what is happening?

  His eyes saw, but his mind would not follow. He pressed his palms against his temples, panic rolling through his belly, his lungs.

  “Dammit, Noah, he’s out! Stop!”

  Why is Indy shouting?

  Josh's mind seemed to detach from his body, and he watched as Indy dropped himself on Noah, wrapping his legs around Noah’s head and putting him in a tight headlock to pull him off of Connor.

  Stop!

  Stop!

  Bitter bile rose in his throat.

  Nauseous.

  Hot.

  Where was he?

  Rancid sweat filled his nose, mixed with dust. So much dust and sand.

  He couldn’t breathe, not with the strong hand clamped over his mouth. Mean fingers dug into his arms and legs, nails drawing blood, holding him so tight his circulation was cut off. A breeze of hot air touched his bare ass as his legs were forced apart.