No Shame: The Complete Series: Including exclusive bonus materials and deleted scenes

by Phoenix, Nora

  2

  Brad couldn't believe Burke had shown up like that. Blake had brought him into the living room and had told him to wait there, then had gestured Brad to come over for a quick chat. He'd done it in private, just the two of them, telling him that Burke had apologized and was serious about making amends. He'd asked Brad if he was okay with Burke staying. Of course, Brad had said yes. It was Thanksgiving, for fuck’s sake. How could you say no on a day like this?

  But no matter what Burke had told Blake, Brad wasn't sold just yet. So far, his brother had kept quiet, seemingly content to observe while the others talked. That wasn't unusual, as all the Kent brothers were introverts, but Brad kept waiting for him to speak up and say something stupid. Or mean. Or judgmental.

  He didn't like it, Burke being there, not one bit. This was his home, his safe space, and yet here was a man who had judged Blake and Aaron for their puppy play. What were the odds of him being on board with the rest of the kink that was so prevalent in this house? Obviously, Brad’s own relationship with Miles and Charlie was first and foremost on his mind.

  Blake had assured Brad that he'd laid down the law for Burke and that Burke had said he was okay with it. He'd told him about the daddy stuff and everything, Brad had concluded. But knowing it and agreeing to it in theory wasn’t the same as watching it, seeing it played out before your eyes.

  So far—and Burke had been here for about thirty minutes now—Brad had managed to behave so well that Miles hadn't needed to admonish him. Sure, he'd called Brad boy a time or two, but that was a hell of a lot more subtle than some of the other stuff that came up on a regular basis. How would Burke react to that?

  The thought put Brad's stomach in uncomfortable twists, and he poked around at the green beans on his plate. He shouldn't hate it, his own brother showing up, but he did, because it threatened to disturb his sense of being safe, of being home that he relished so much.

  "Stop playing with your food," Miles told him, his tone still mild, but Brad spotted the writing on the wall.

  "I'm not hungry," he said, barely avoiding tacking on that Daddy he'd become so accustomed to.

  Miles’s raised eyebrow told him his daddy had noticed that deliberate omission. Under the table, Miles’s hand traveled to Brad's thigh, and he got a little warning squeeze. That was Miles’s subtle signal that Brad should behave.

  He closed his eyes, so conflicted about what to do. What if Burke laughed at him? Made fun of him? What if he displayed that same judgmental asshole attitude he'd shown to Blake and Aaron? Brad had been too scared to say something back then, too uncertain of his own position. Would he have the guts right now to say something?

  Miles squeezed his thigh again, and somehow, it brought a new thought to Brad's head. He wouldn't have to. This time, he wouldn't have to stand up to Burke by himself. Blake would have his back, and he damn well knew Miles would. Hell, Charlie could be a little firecracker if somebody hurt Brad, and he would stake all his money on even Connor and the others speaking up for him.

  A wave of emotion rolled through him as he realized that this was his home. Burke was the stranger here, the intruder. Brad had home advantage, and his family wouldn't let him down.

  He raised his chin and defiantly looked at Burke as he spoke. "Sorry, Daddy. I was a little distracted. I promise I'll eat my beans."

  "That's my good boy," Miles said, and his hand left Brad's thigh to rub his hair. "I'm so proud of you, sweetheart."

  Brad knew his daddy wasn't talking about eating those damn beans, though they were far from Brad's favorite food. No, Daddy knew the courage it had taken him to take this stand, and Brad lifted his head even higher. Burke had jerked at the word “daddy,” but now he looked up and met Brad's eyes. There was no judgment there, just confusion, as far as Brad could tell. He could live with that, he decided. Max rubbed against his legs, then dropped to the floor underneath Brad’s chair, and Brad fed him some beans while no one looked.

  Despite Burke's presence, conversation flowed during the meal, with Charlie recounting some fantastic tales of clients he'd encountered. He'd gotten involved with a national group of drag queens as their personal make-up artist, and he loved it. He was taking classes in makeup or something as well, and he loved to experiment on Aaron.

  Hell, he'd even tried stuff on Brad, who had willingly sat down and let Charlie play with him for close to two hours. Sure, Charlie had promised him a sex fest afterward, and there was little Brad wouldn't do for that, but he could admit it had been fun to see himself transformed into someone else.

  "Before we bring out the desserts, Indy and I thought it would be a great idea to do the traditional Thanksgiving thing and share what we're grateful for," Josh said. "I know it's a little cliché, but while cooking, we realized how much has changed for all of us and how grateful we are to be here together on this day, so it seems fitting."

  Noah nodded, sending Indy a look stuffed with love. "I think that's terrific, and I'll go first. I'm grateful that Indy is where he belongs: with all of us, but especially with Josh and me and Connor. For a long time, the future looked so bleak that I doubted this day would ever come, so…" He cleared his throat, and Brad could hear the emotion in his voice as he continued. "Yeah, that's what I'm grateful for."

  "I second that," Connor spoke up. "But I'm also grateful that we're getting married in two days. I know that sounds like the thing I'm supposed to say, and obviously, I'm gonna rub it in you didn't think to mention that, Flint," he said with a laugh at Noah, who shot him a middle finger. "But the truth is that my heart has been full of little else besides the wedding. It seems like a miracle, the four of us together, preparing for such a special day."

  Brad wondered if those four realized they had stopped talking about them as couples and had started to refer to themselves as a foursome. It used to be that Noah spoke of himself and Indy or Indy and Josh, and Connor had been even more consistent, always referring to the couples in their complicated relationship. But Noah had just casually linked their four names together, and now Connor had done the same. Interesting. What was happening there?

  "That was beautiful, baby," Josh said, his eyes making starry hearts at Connor. Connor stole a quick kiss, then gestured at Burke.

  “I’m… I want to thank you all for welcoming me, a stranger to most of you, to your table today. I’m grateful to be with my brothers and for the grace they’re showing me,” Burke said.

  Damn, the man could still talk. That had always been his forte. He was good with words when he wanted to be.

  "Oh gosh, I'm not good at this kind of thing. I'm grateful for so many things," Charlie said. "I'm grateful I'm safe and loved. I’m beyond grateful for my two wonderful boyfriends and for the future that awaits us. My job is fantastic, I love living here, and I love you all so very much."

  It was uncharacteristically mushy for Charlie, which made it even more special to Brad. He reached in front of Miles and grabbed Charlie's hand to squeeze it.

  "I love you," Charlie mouthed at him, and Brad whispered the same thing back at him with Miles sending them both a happy and proud look.

  "I'm grateful for my two boys, who are the joy of my life," Miles said, kissing first Charlie on his head, then Brad. "A year ago, I couldn't have thought I’d ever be this happy and content. It's been a year of big changes, but I don't regret a single one of them. And as Charlie said, I'm so happy and grateful we have met you all."

  The joy of his life. Brad had heard Miles say it before, but it hit him all over again. Despite all his issues, his bratty behavior, his acting out and exasperating Miles, his daddy still called him the joy of his life. How big a miracle was that?

  His voice was soft but steady as he spoke up. "I'm grateful for the space to be myself and for the love and patience of everyone around me. Acceptance, I forgot to say acceptance. The fact that you guys love me just the way I am, that's…" His eyes filled up, and he wiped away the moisture with a quick gesture, feeling embarrassed. "Anyway, that's what I
'm grateful for."

  Miles, who apparently didn't give a flying fuck what both of Brad's brothers would think, pulled Brad on his lap and gave him a soft, deep kiss on his mouth that left him tingling and wanting more. "That was beautifully said, my sweet boy. I love that you feel so safe here. With us."

  Brad looked up at his daddy, whose cock was already hardening under his ass. He'd have to take care of that later, and he'd damn well better remember to do that out of eyesight of both his brothers. Blake had seen him pleasure Miles a few times already and he hadn't said anything, but Brad knew he preferred not to watch.

  "I love you, Daddy," Brad said. Watching Miles’s face explode with joy at those words never got old. And he didn't disappoint him this time either. Love was a wondrous thing, Brad realized more and more.

  "I have to second Brad," Josh said. "I'm grateful for the space we allow each other to be ourselves. It makes me proud when I see it, when I see us be more and more our true selves. And yes, baby," he turned toward Connor, "I am very much looking forward to our wedding, and that fills me with immeasurable joy. But at the end of the day, that too is proof of the acceptance we have. The fact that the four of us will be standing there, isn't that a miracle in itself?"

  Brad saw some moist eyes all around the table, and it made him feel weak as jelly inside all over again. This tradition might be mushy and cheesy, but he would be lying if he didn’t admit it provided him with a deep sense of joy and gratitude.

  "As for me," Indy said, "I'm grateful for family. We can't choose the family were born into, as many of us at this table can attest to. Our blood family can hurt us, let us down, or even abandon us. But this family, the family we chose, the family we formed ourselves, this is a bond stronger than anything else. I know that no matter what storms life will bring, we will stand together. I don't care if others may judge us for who we are and how we choose to live our lives, because I wouldn't trade all of you for the world."

  He teared up, Indy, and Josh grabbed his hand. Brad couldn't explain why, but Indy's words made him proud and sad at the same time. No, he realized, it wasn't sadness. It was fear. When Indy had spoken of the storms that life could bring, a chill had run down Brad's spine. What was he talking about? Did Indy know something the others didn't? Was he in danger all over again?

  Brad let it go, or at least, he tried to, but as they ended that ritual with hugs and brought out the desserts, Brad couldn't quite silence the concerned voice inside him. He'd thought the danger was behind them, what with Charlie's crazy ex in prison and that drug gang Indy had been hunted down by either dead or in prison awaiting trial. Had he been wrong?

  Indy had been right about one thing, though. Even if new storms came, they'd face them together. At one point, the thought of facing more adversity would've scared Brad shitless, but as he looked around the table, he realized that he felt different now. It was a strange sensation to know on the deepest level possible that not only was he willing to die for these men, but they would do the same for him.

  He knew what Connor and Josh had done for Indy's freedom. He was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to know, but he'd overheard Connor and Indy talk about it once. From the little snippets of their conversation he'd overheard, he had concluded that Josh had been the sharpshooter who had shot those guys in Boston. Brad had no idea how they had pulled it off, and he didn't want to know. He was certain Miles knew too, as his daddy was anything but stupid. But if Miles didn't think it was necessary to discuss it, Brad wouldn't either. He owed all of these men everything, so he would stay silent. And he would have their backs, as much as they had his.

  3

  How the fuck was it possible he was nervous about this? Indy wiped his clammy hands on the tight, dark-blue slacks he was wearing. Maybe that was it, he decided, these ridiculously dressy pants that made him feel like a…like a groom.

  He sighed, turning sideways to study himself in the mirror. He looked good, he had to admit. Not that he’d had any doubt. Hell, between Colin and Charlie, they had the fashion advice covered. Colin, the sales guy from Macy’s Aaron and Blake had recommended to advise them on their outfits, had instantly clicked with Charlie, the two of them bonding over fabrics and cuts and breast pockets that were or were not crucial.

  Indy’s eyes had glazed over, much like the other grooms, but boy, those two had delivered. He looked wicked hot, if he did say so himself.

  “Damn, you look good,” Miles said, and Indy turned around to face him.

  “You think?”

  Miles’s face split open in a big grin as he pointed toward his crotch, his hard dick outlined in the thin fabric of his suit pants. “That’s what your ass in those pants does to me.”

  Indy harrumphed. “Pshah, you don’t need my ass for that.”

  Miles shrugged. “True, but it really was your ass that did the trick.” He stepped behind Indy and turned him toward the mirror. “You’re gorgeous, Indy,” he said, his face growing serious. “The four of you will look amazing together.”

  Indy’s face softened and he let out a little sigh. “Thank you. I’m wicked nervous,” he admitted.

  “It’s your wedding day. Nerves are to be expected,” Miles said, ever the rational one.

  Indy gave himself one last glance in the mirror, then turned to face Miles. “Maybe, but it’s not wedding jitters or whatever you call those.”

  Miles’s kind eyes rested on him. “It’s hard to believe you’re this happy,” he said softly. “That all your nightmares are over.”

  Indy bit his lip. “It’s stupid, right? To feel guilty for being happy?”

  “Oh, Indy, you know better,” Miles sighed, even as he pulled him in for a quick hug. He kissed the top of his head before he let him go. “It’s not stupid. You’ve been through hell, and it’s gonna take a while before you’ve adapted to the new reality.”

  “It’s been months since Duncan died. Shouldn’t I have adjusted by now?”

  “There’s no timeline for this, but I think it’s safe to say it will take a while longer. You’ve been living under stressful and traumatic conditions for years. Your body and mind had gotten used to that. Those patterns will take a long time to change and be replaced by a more normal state. You still have to get used to being happy, Indy.”

  Indy sighed again. “It feels like I shouldn’t be sad on my wedding day, you know?”

  “I don’t think you’re sad. I think your mind is questioning your emotions, but if you tell it it’s okay, you’ll feel the happiness. Hell, I just saw Noah and Josh in their outfits. Trust me, once you see them, you will be happy.”

  Indy rose on his toes and pressed a soft kiss on Miles’s cheek. “Thank you. You always know what to say.”

  Whatever Miles had wanted to say in response was interrupted by a loud complaint from the hallway.

  “Daddy, Charlie says I have to wear this!” Brad stomped into the room, looking ten kinds of miserable in a charcoal-gray suit with a pink shirt and a darker pink tie.

  Miles’s eyes lit up, as they always did when one of his boys walked in, which Indy thought was the sweetest thing. “Look at you, my sweet boy, all dressed up,” he praised him. “Don’t you like what Charlie picked out for you? Look, it’s the same outfit he and I are wearing, so we match.”

  Brad put a finger behind the collar of his shirt and tugged, his face dark with frustration. “It’s so tight around my neck, Daddy. I feel like I can’t swallow.”

  Indy chuckled. “Maybe you should test that,” he suggested, winking at Brad.

  “That’s what I proposed to Charlie, but he said he didn’t have time,” Brad pouted, then shifted his gaze to Miles and peeked at him from under his lashes.

  Indy couldn’t help but laugh at the adorably hopeful expression on Brad’s face. He’d become so much more centered over the last few months, but he still needed Miles something fierce. A few weeks ago, he’d had an incident at school where an angry parent had made a scene over a low grade, and he’d once again retreated into li
ttle kid mode, this time for over a day. Miles had handled it beautifully, being the loving daddy Brad had needed to recover from that.

  Miles beckoned Brad with one finger, then pointed toward the floor in front of him. “We’d better make sure you can swallow, baby. I wouldn’t want your skills to be impeded by your outfit.”

  “Yes, Daddy. Thank you, Daddy,” Brad babbled, a happy smile on his face as he went to his knees, his hands already on Miles’s zipper. “I knew you’d understand.”

  Indy watched with a smile as Brad whipped out that insatiable cock and had it in his mouth in under a second. The look on his face was pure bliss, even more so when Miles’s fingers laced through his hair and pulled him closer, choking him on his dick.

  “Miles, are you ready to go?” Charlie called from the hallway. “Where did Brad go? He was just…”

  Charlie walked in, tightening his tie. He was sporting the same outfit as Miles and Brad, and Indy’s heart warmed at how sweet they’d look together. Then Charlie spotted Brad on his knees and his eyes darkened.

  “You little shit! I told you there was no time for a blow job,” he protested, putting his hands on his hips.

  Miles sent him a sheepish glance as he released Brad’s head. “Was I supposed to say no when he asked me?”

  Brad let go of Miles's cock and took a rasping breath, his eyes watery. “I didn’t ask you,” he pointed out, his voice a little hoarse. “Charlie made me promise I wouldn’t ask you, and I didn’t. You offered. Or you told me, whatever.”

  Charlie’s eyes narrowed as they zoomed in on Miles. “And you really thought this was the best time for another blow job?”

  Indy followed the exchange with amusement. These three were hilarious together at times.

  “You’re saying there’s a wrong time for one?” Miles wondered, then raised his hands in surrender when Charlie looked like he’d explode any moment. “I’ll make it fast, I promise.”

  He grabbed Brad’s head again and stuffed his cock back into his mouth. “And I’ll deal with you later, you little brat. You’ll go to bed with one hell of a red ass tonight.”