No Shame: The Complete Series: Including exclusive bonus materials and deleted scenes

by Phoenix, Nora

  “You are such a good puppy. I’m so, so pleased with you,” he praised him and Aaron’s heart swelled up in his chest. “Can you wag your tail for me?”

  He wagged all right, his butt shaking to please his master. Well, the sensation of the plug rubbing inside him wasn’t unpleasant either.

  “Good puppy,” Master said, then smacked him lightly on his butt. “That’s enough waggling, pup. I don’t want you to get too excited yet.”

  Aaron obeyed, holding still while Master kept stroking him. “You’re so beautiful, so gorgeous. God, look at you…”

  He could barely keep still, so happy with that praise that he had to keep himself from bouncing around.

  “Okay, let’s get your collar on. Can you sit for me, puppy?”

  Aaron plopped his butt down on his heels and sat, peering at Master through his mask. He closed his eyes when those hands reached for him, when the leather of his collar was fitted around his neck, then snapped into place. He could cry with the intensity of it, the deep, incomparable rush of being owned.

  As usual, Master took him through some exercises that were both fun and a practice in discipline for Aaron. He had to heel as Master walked around the room. Sit while he walked across, then called him. Sit, crawl, wag, he did whatever Master asked, and every time he was praised lavishly.

  Time ceased to exist, and his head found that happy place where he almost seemed to leave his own body. A deep joy and contentment took over, the thrill of not having a care in the world. He simply was, and it was enough.

  “Okay, puppy, rest with me for a bit,” Master said as he lowered himself to the floor. Aaron crawled against him, letting his head rest on Master’s thigh. “You’ve been such a good puppy today that you deserve a reward.”

  Aaron’s ears perked up. A reward? Those were usually really good, Master always coming up with something he knew Aaron loved.

  “I’m gonna take your puppy mask and your leash off in a second, and I want you to close your eyes and lie on the floor, waiting for me, okay?”

  Aaron nodded as a sign he understood, since he wasn’t allowed to speak. What did Master have planned if he didn’t need his mask?

  Seconds later, Master lifted his head off his leg, and Aaron closed his eyes. His mask was taken off, and a snap indicated the leash was taken off his collar as well, though the collar itself remained. Master gently lowered his head to the floor, where it found something soft. A fleece snuggle blanket, Aaron recognized. He stayed still as he heard rustling sounds, his ears straining to interpret them, but it was too hard.

  “Open your eyes, puppy.”

  His eyes flew open, and he scrambled to his hands and knees. Master lay stretched out on a thick, fluffy blanket, completely naked. With his hands folded behind his head, he looked like the epitome of masculine sexiness, and Aaron had to swallow. Please, please tell him he could taste him. He awaited instructions though, not risking losing his reward by being disobedient—though Blake had proved to be a mild master when Aaron got things wrong.

  “Your reward is me, puppy, but you can only use your mouth…”

  Oh yes. Best reward ever. Before Master could even say another word, Aaron crawled over on hands and knees, trying to decide where to start. He could go straight for the jackpot, but that was so predictable. No, he needed to draw it out, delay the inevitable pleasure.

  He plopped down onto his belly at Blake’s feet, then sniffed them before he gave a careful lick. Master had washed them, and that showed Aaron he’d planned this. Joy rose in him all over again and he happily sucked in Master's big toe and started licking.

  It was a feast, having free roam of Master’s body, and Aaron dug in like he was a buffet. He worked his way up from his toes with licks and nibbles and nuzzling till he’d almost reached his groin, then switched to his nipples, which were so wonderful to suck on. Aaron’s cock was leaking, but so was Master’s, even though Aaron hadn’t even touched him there. Master’s hands were tight fists, and his muscles quivered as he stayed still.

  “Oh god, puppy, you’re killing me…” Master moaned. “Your mouth and tongue feel so good.”

  Wasn’t it wonderful how a reward for Aaron was a reward for both of them? Aaron kept up his explorations for a few more minutes, but apparently, Master had reached the end of his patience then, and strong hands grabbed him and flipped him onto his back.

  “My turn,” Blake growled, and Aaron squealed in delight.

  His tail was removed without much finesse and replaced with Blake’s cock. He merely swiped some precum off himself and Aaron, guessing correctly that Aaron had lubed his hole in preparation. Aaron pulled up his legs and opened wide.

  Blake surged in, slamming home with one big thrust, and Aaron howled. Whereas their play before had been sweet, Blake now took him hard and rough, exactly the way he loved it, and within seconds, he had Aaron coming already. Not that Blake stopped, not even for a second. Hell no, he folded Aaron double and went to town. Aaron took it, greedily sucking in every thrust, every shove, every perfect onslaught on his system.

  It was as if the knowledge that no one could hear them fueled their desire, and they were both loud, panting and groaning, bodies smacking together with filthy sounds. Aaron’s body raced to catch up with Blake’s, aided by Blake’s perfect targeting of his prostate.

  “You’re mine,” Blake growled with a possessiveness that made Aaron go weak inside. “Mine.” He tensed as he drilled him again. “Mine.”

  “Yours,” Aaron panted. “Always yours.”

  Seconds away from his second orgasm, with Blake about to come as well, Aaron’s heart forced up the words that had been on his mind for weeks.

  “Marry me, Blake. Be my owner, my master forever.”

  14

  Josh was worried about Connor. Ever since the phone call with his mother, he’d been withdrawn, moody. Josh understood how hard this was for Connor, or at least he tried to. He wasn’t an expert on parental relationships by any standard, not having spoken to his own parents since he enlisted many years ago. And Connor’s situation was messy and complicated, and Josh got that.

  But it affected him, Connor’s mood, the cloud of darkness hanging around him. He’d had flare-ups of his PTSD, more than in the previous months combined, and he struggled with his frustration over that. He wanted to say something to Connor, but he didn’t want a repeat of last time, when Lucas had died.

  Back then, Josh had worded it poorly, leading Connor to believe he was breaking up with him. He couldn’t risk that again, because Connor was hurt, deeply hurt, and Josh wasn’t chancing it. No, he needed to figure out a way to say something without Connor taking it the wrong way. He could ask Indy to do it for him, but that seemed wrong. Connor had no issues with Josh’s relationship with Indy at all anymore, but this was risking that acceptance. Plus, it didn’t feel right to Josh to let Indy do his dirty work.

  “You okay?” Noah’s voice broke into his thoughts.

  Josh looked up from the cupcake batter he’d been stirring mindlessly. “Yes. No.” He sighed. “Kinda.”

  Noah grabbed a seltzer from the fridge, then leaned against the counter. “He’s taking it hard, huh?”

  Josh felt relieved that Noah knew what was troubling him. “Yeah. I understand, but…”

  “It’s affecting you.”

  “Do I say something?” Josh asked, pushing the batter aside. Who cared about stupid cupcakes anyway? It was something he’d started to keep his mind busy. “I’m so scared it’ll come off as selfish.”

  Noah nodded. “I get that, but you’re allowed to be a bit selfish here. I can see you struggling.”

  Josh let out a deep, pent-up sigh. “I am. I could use a scene, but Connor is in no state of mind to do one.”

  “Is it the pain you need or the sexual release?” Noah asked, and Josh loved him for asking.

  “Right now, the pain. We had sex this morning, but I need the endorphins a good session brings.”

  “Maybe you could c
all Master Mark and ask for his help?” Noah suggested.

  “If I may say something, and please forgive me if I’m horribly out of line,” a voice spoke up, startling Josh until he realized it was Wander, who’d been posted by the back door. Josh had completely forgotten about him, used to the man’s quiet presence as he was by now.

  “Please,” Josh said. “Any suggestions?”

  As soon as he’d asked it, he realized. How stupid. They had a Dom right here.

  “Me,” Wander said simply, confirming Josh’s line of thought. “But please, feel free to say no. I’m offering, no obligation at all.”

  Noah and Josh looked at each other. Josh had to admit the offer was tempting. The man was right here, which made it easy, and they could do it in his own play room. Plus, he’d come to trust Wander and had gotten used to his presence. The man had seen him with Connor often enough to have an idea of what Josh liked and could take.

  “I’ll need to talk to Connor first,” Josh said. He liked the idea, but what if Connor got upset or offended?

  “How about you talk to Connor about Wander’s offer and I’ll talk to him about the rest?” Noah said. “The first is between the two of you, but I think I may be able to help him process his feelings about his mother.”

  “Oh, I would so appreciate that. Thank you.”

  Josh hugged Noah tight. He’d just let go of him when his phone rang. When he saw it was Aaron, he debated letting it go, because he really wanted to talk to Connor about Wander, but then he decided not to. He couldn’t risk it, not with Aaron, not when their relationship was still fragile. Who knew if Aaron was calling about something important?

  “Hey bro,” he answered.

  “Josh!” Aaron said, his voice bubbling with excitement. “I have wonderful news!”

  Josh’s face broke open in a smile, because he had a pretty good idea what was coming. There could only be one reason Aaron was this excited, right?

  “Did he ask you?” he asked, forcing himself to match Aaron’s tone. They hadn’t told Aaron and Blake about Connor’s mother. How could they, when doing so meant revealing their secret to even more people?

  “I asked him. And he said yes.”

  “You what? You asked him? Way to go!” This time, Josh’s joy was real. How far Aaron had come, and how wonderful that Blake had overcome his reservations and had accepted. “What happened?”

  Aaron launched into a happy tale of how they’d had a play session and had been in bed—Josh smiled when Aaron still couldn’t say the word fuck—and Aaron had blurted out a proposal.

  “How did Blake respond?” Josh asked, fully invested now.

  “Well, he came first,” Aaron giggled. “The man was seconds away, you know, and so was I. But once we cooled off, he asked me if I was serious, if that was what I wanted. So I told him how much I loved him and that I wanted to be his forever, that I had dreamed of getting married for so long.”

  He was such a romantic, his little brother, Josh thought affectionately. He and Blake were such a perfect match.

  “Blake said he’d always thought he’d never get married but that he’d been thinking a lot about it as well. So he asked if he could think about it for a day, because he didn’t want to say yes just to make me happy.”

  Josh sobered. “That must’ve been scary for you.”

  “It was, but not as much as I had expected. I know Blake loves me, so even if he’d said he wasn’t ready, it wouldn’t have been the end of us. And he’s right that he can’t do this for me. He has to want it. So he took the time to think it over, and then he told me he’d love nothing more than to make me his officially.”

  “I’m so happy for you, Aaron. Congratulations. Are you guys talking about a date yet, or do you want to wait a while?”

  “About that,” Aaron said, and as he continued, Josh’s eyes went wide.

  * * *

  As it turned out, Connor was easily persuaded to let Wander do a scene with Josh that night, as long as he could watch and safe word for Josh. Noah was impressed by that reaction, and even more so when Connor thanked Wander himself and admitted he looked forward to learning from him. Then again, the cop had always shown he was open to advice when it came to Josh and learning how to be a good Dom for him.

  Noah figured he could use that session as a good excuse to strike up a conversation when he and Connor were both lounging in the living room. He’d promised Josh he’d try to talk to Connor, and now was as good a time as any. Wander was outside doing a check, leaving one of his men inside, but he was stationed in the kitchen at the moment.

  “I’m curious to see what Wander will do to Josh,” Noah remarked, causing Connor to look up from his magazine.

  “He’s got a ton of experience,” Connor said. “I’m hoping to learn a thing or two.”

  “Does it bother you that you can’t do a scene yourself?”

  Connor cocked his head, seeming to think it over. “Not really. I’m well aware I’m not in a good place right now to do a scene, and Josh needs one. I’m relieved there’s a solution, because I was racking my brain trying to figure that out.”

  “Connor, you could’ve asked me to take care of that. Not domming Josh,” Noah said quickly when Connor looked surprised. “But figuring out a solution. You don’t always have to do it all yourself. I’m here to lean on.”

  Connor blinked slowly, then let out a deep sigh. “I know. Trust me, I do know. It’s just… It’s hard. I’ve been doing things on my own for a long time, and I’m not used to sharing the load just yet.”

  “I get that, because I’ve been the same. Just know that I’m here, okay? I know there’s stuff you can’t share with Josh because it would trigger him, so come find me.”

  Connor stared at him in a way that made Noah wonder if he really saw him or if he was seeing something else in his mind. Finally, he spoke again. “Have you ever had a feeling something would go wrong? Like a premonition?”

  “Yes. Sometimes with patients who’d come in looking okay but my gut said something would go wrong. But sometimes with other stuff as well.”

  “Were you right, usually?”

  Noah had a sinking feeling he knew where this was going. “You getting a bad feeling about your mom?”

  “Yah.” Connor’s voice was barely audible. “The worst.”

  Noah didn’t ask for details since he could figure them out himself. She’d all but confessed to committing murder. A premeditated, cold-blooded murder of her own brother. If the cops caught her… Noah shuddered inwardly at the thought.

  “It’s been getting stronger and stronger,” Connor said. “I think she’s gonna die.”

  What did he say to that, Noah wondered. Denying it was useless. Aside from the fact Noah wasn’t God and couldn’t predict the future, Connor could very well be right. Noah was never one to counter intuition, and in this case, Connor had every reason to be worried. So, no, denying it was not an option.

  “What if she does, Connor?” he asked instead. “How will you cope?”

  Connor’s head jerked in his direction. The man had clearly not expected Noah to say that. “No reassurance? You’re not even gonna try?”

  Noah leaned forward in his chair. “What’s the use? We both know her situation is precarious. I’ve never been one to believe in fairy tales. I’d rather make sure you’re strong enough to deal with reality when it hits you. So I’ll ask again: if she dies, how will you cope?”

  He made sure his voice was warm and kind, even if his words were direct.

  “I don’t know. I didn’t do too well when Lucas died, did I?”

  “You gotta give yourself a pass there. That blindsided you.”

  Connor shook his head. “So did this. I always thought I sucked at expressing my emotions, but it turns out I suck at feeling them, too. I didn’t realize I loved Lucas the way I did until they found his body, and I don’t think I fully realized how much I love my mom until that call a few days ago.”

  Oh god, he was so right. Noa
h hadn’t looked at it from that angle, but Connor hit the nail on the head. His relationship with his parents had probably been so complicated, he hadn’t even realized there had been a deep love underneath all the frustration.

  “You got to tell her in that call,” Noah said, remembering Connor’s last words to his mom. “If she dies, Connor, she’ll go knowing her son loved her and with the knowledge she not only told him she loved him, but showed it too. What she did, it’s the ultimate sacrifice to keep you safe.”

  Connor’s eyes welled up, Noah noticed. “That’s…” He had to clear his throat before he could continue. “I hadn’t looked at it that way.”

  “It’s hard for you because you’re so wired to protect others and put them before yourself, but my guess is that you get that from her. She protected you, Connor. She did what she had to do so you’d be safe.”

  And then it was Noah’s turn to choke up, because he still couldn’t believe it, what Connor and Josh had done. It was so big, so inconceivably brave and bold. He took a breath to steady himself, Connor looking at him with shaken eyes.

  “She did what you did for Indy, you and Josh. God, Connor, don’t you see it? She wouldn’t want your thanks or your sadness. She’d want your happiness, for you to fully live knowing you’d been given this great gift of a second chance.”

  Connor stared at him, tears streaming down his face now. Noah let his own fall unashamed. For a while they sat there, their emotions hanging thick in the air. But the silence felt good, comforting, their tears another bridge that connected them.

  Then Connor got up from the couch and lowered himself to the floor at Noah’s feet, who watched in shock as that strong man put his head on Noah’s good leg and wrapped his arms around his waist. “I’m leaning, Noah,” he said. “I’m leaning.”

  And Noah held him for a long, long time, not speaking another word.