Finding Out About Mr M

by Matt Tims

  “Hey, Mom.”

  “Hey, sweetie,” Jen greeted Ashley. “Someone’s up early for once.”

  The teen momentarily disappeared behind the refrigerator door to dig around inside for ingredients. She quickly re-emerged with two handfuls of fruits and vegetables in assorted bags for a morning smoothie. “I know. Couldn’t really sleep. Where’s Dad?”

  “He’s working late today,” Jen answered. “How are things going with your boyfriend, by the way? I feel like we haven’t talked about Mike in a while.”

  Ashley began piling kale into the blender before dropping several frozen strawberries in as well. “Um…good…I guess.”

  “Uh-oh.”

  She shot her mother a look. “Uh-oh? What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “‘I guess’ is never good,” Jen commented before taking a sip of coffee. “At least in my experience.”

  “Well…I just…I don’t know,” Ashley debated with herself. “Maybe we shouldn’t talk about it.”

  Jen was blown away. Where in the world was this lack of openness coming from? “Excuse me?”

  Ashley dropped a small pile of carrots, tomatoes, and blueberries into the blender and fastened the lid after adding some water. “I know we talk about pretty much everything, but this is kinda personal.”

  “That’s what I’m here for, baby,” Jen said before pausing to allow the blender to run. She waited for Ashley to finish liquefying her breakfast before continuing. “I’m here to talk about anything with you—anything at all. I’m your mother. That’s my job.”

  Ashley carried her smoothie over to the kitchen table and sat in her father’s usual seat, directly across from Jen. “I know, but…it’s…I don’t know…”

  “Baby, you can tell me anything,” Jen reassured her softly. “I’ve been around the block a time or two. I can help.”

  The eighteen-year-old took a sip of her drink before peering up at her mother. “Okay, but you can’t say a word to anyone.”

  “Who am I gonna tell?” Jen asked.

  Ashley took a deep breath and admitted, “Mike is just so…I don’t know…passive.”

  “Passive?”

  “Yeah, passive,” Ashley went on. “He never initiates anything.”

  “Like how?” questioned Jen.

  The teen took another deep breath. It felt good to get this out. “Let’s say we go for a walk. He never holds my hand. I mean, he’ll hold it, but I have to be the one to reach out and take his hand. Once I do, he’ll hold it, but he never just takes it.”

  Jen inventively listened.

  “And like…if we want to go somewhere to eat—oh!” Ashley shouted as the perfect example suddenly came to mind. “This just happened last weekend! So I ask him what restaurant he wants to go to, and he tells me—”

  “That he doesn’t care?” Jen asked, interrupting her.

  Ashley’s jaw dropped. “Yeah! How’d you know that!?”

  Jen let out a light laugh and motioned with her finger for her daughter to continue her story.

  “Okay, so he tells me that he doesn’t care, but it wasn’t just with the restaurant,” said Ashley. “It’s like that with everything. He’s always fine just doing whatever I want. At first, I thought it was a good thing. You know, that way we can always go to the places I want, and do the things I want to do.”

  “But sometimes you want him to lead you?” Jen asked.

  “Exactly!” Ashley passionately confirmed.

  “Honey, he’s never going to change.”

  “He isn’t?” her daughter questioned.

  Jen was about to admit to something extremely personal. “You can NEVER repeat this to your father.”

  “I swear,” Ashley promised.

  “I still care about your dad and I always will, but there were a few signs I look back on and realize that I missed,” Jen confessed. “Either that, or I just refused to see them when they were right in front of me.”

  It was no secret to Ashley that her parents’ marriage wasn’t exactly smooth sailing. They rarely talked or even made eye contact with each other; but at least they were still together, and that was better than most of her friends’ parents who had seemingly all divorced over the past five or so years.

  “Dad’s a laid back guy,” Jen continued. “You know that. He pretty much just goes with the flow; and while that’s nice in a lot of aspects, it really sucks in others. He was the same as your boyfriend back when we started dating. Sure, we clicked; and yes, he had his shit together unlike most of the other guys his age—or any age really; but I was always the one taking the lead. And I’m not talking financially either. The whole ‘men need to outearn women thing’ is nonsense and outdated. That was your grandparents’ biggest concern when we started dating, and especially when we decided to get married. That I wasn’t marrying some wealthy guy with a prestigious job.”

  “I don’t care about money,” Ashley chimed in after taking another sip of her breakfast. “I plan on being more than capable of supporting myself, and I don’t expect a guy to provide for me. I’m fine as long as he’s doing something to contribute.”

  Jen pointed her finger at the young brunette who was wise far beyond her years. “Exactly! And that’s how you should feel, but there are certain things you can’t fight.”

  “Like what?”

  Jen briefly debated with herself over how to word what she wanted to say. “We’re women, and as women, we gravitate to men who know what they want.”

  Ashley asked, “Who know what they want?”

  “Yeah, men who know what they want, and men who keep us on our toes,” Jen revealed. “It’s part of human nature.”

  Ashley obviously wasn’t following. Her look was one of confusion and downright bewilderment. This wasn’t the simple solution that she’d expected for her relationship problems.

  “Okay, I’ll give you an example,” Jen said as she noticed her daughter’s lack of understanding. “Before your father, I dated a guy in college named Bill. Now, Bill was a bit of an asshole.”

  The teen chuckled.

  “He really was,” Jen went on. “He cheated on me, I took him back, and then he cheated again. But Bill had some qualities that separated him from almost every man I’ve ever met.”

  The two girls both took sips of their respective drinks before Jen continued. “He was…really…unique.”

  “Unique?” Ashley inquired.

  “Yeah, very unique,” Jen reiterated, thinking back to those days over twenty years ago. “Now, Bill was against the idea of gifts, and jewelry, and really spending money on anything. He would buy some stuff here and there; but never anything crazy, and that bugged me at first. I would see girls around me getting chocolate and flowers on Valentine’s Day, and I’d listen to their stories about how they went out to fancy restaurants and received two thousand dollar necklaces, and it would make me jealous. I thought I was missing out.”

  “You kinda were, weren’t you?”

  Jen shook her head with a big smile. “Not at all, because Bill realized something. He was hilarious, fun to be around, spontaneous, exciting, assertive, and the sex was amazing. I just couldn’t get enough of him.”

  Ashley was lost.

  “And he figured out the game,” continued Jen. “Gifts, lavish vacations, and expensive dinners are for men who need to impress women that way. Those guys don’t think they have any other worthwhile qualities, so they shower their girlfriends and wives with money; and in return, they’re looking for love and affection.”

  Ashley had never been privy to this type of brutal honesty. It was interesting. “What did you guys do for Valentine’s Day then?”

  “He set up a scavenger hunt that started in his dorm, took me to his car, then to my car, then to the campus library, and finally ended in my dorm,” Jen said. “Each clue had a little present or something we would only understand because it was an inside joke between the two of us. None of the gifts were expensive, but they were thoughtful. They meant som
ething. And then the last gift—

  …

  …

  “What, Mom?”

  Jen shook her head with a sheepish smile.

  “You gotta tell me!” demanded Ashley.

  “The last gift,” Jen laughed. “The last gift was…a…”

  It sounded like her mother had the greatest relationship ever back in college, and Ashley was eager to hear every juicy detail. “Mom! Tell me!”

  Jen took a sip of coffee in an attempt to compose herself. She couldn’t believe what she was about to admit to. “The last gift was one of those sexy cupid costumes that I ended up wearing for him that night.”

  “Mom!!!” Ashley yelled, stunned.

  Jen’s cheeks turned bright red with embarrassment. “I know, but out of every Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had, that one sticks out to me the most. And it was like that with my birthday, Christmas, and random days too. He always had these fun things planned. It was so out of the box that every moment felt exciting to be around him. I’ve had guys spend so much money on me for dates and gifts, but the things Bill did are what I still remember. You know, my friends used to say that he would ruin me for the next guy I dated.”

  “Did he?” Ashley asked.

  She peered down into her half empty coffee mug before admitting, “I wouldn’t say he ruined me, but dates and holidays never seemed as fun after him. Everything always felt kind of boring. Instead of going out for my birthday, I’d rather go on some fun hike, have my man cook me a surprise dinner, and then interrogate him in order to find out where my present is…if you know what I mean.”

  “Mom!” her daughter loudly reacted. “Interrogate him to find your present? You’re so bad!”

  “I was a bit wilder back in the day,” Jen smiled. “Bill brought that out in me.”

  “And Dad doesn’t?”

  Jen let out a deep, frustrated exhale. “I don’t know, honey. He certainly doesn’t bring out my wild side like Bill did, but your dad has some good qualities that Bill didn’t possess. Like, he doesn’t stick his dick in everything with a pulse!”

  A laugh sounded from Ashley’s end of the table.

  “And he isn’t constantly in debt or always lying,” Jen added to the slim list of Tom’s positive traits. “He doesn’t turn into an asshole when he’s drunk either.”

  Ashley tried to give her mother a smile, but hearing all of this was eye-opening. Mom chose what she thought was a responsible guy, but still clearly missed the fun and excitement her former boyfriend brought to her life over two decades ago. It was kind of sad to hear.

  “You don’t regret marrying Dad, do you?”

  Jen took a moment to think before slowly shaking her head. “No, I don’t. I wouldn’t have you if I didn’t.”

  Ashley lovingly smiled across the table.

  “But…I don’t know,” Jen went on. “Sometimes I wish your father had some Bill in him, you know? Listen, honey, the longer you’re in a relationship, the more sparks need to fly. The honeymoon phase wears off and then it’s just you and him; and if he can’t push your buttons six months into dating, then what’s it going to be like in twenty years?”

  The teen finished the last of her breakfast.

  “I’m happy I didn’t end up with Bill,” Jen told her daughter. “He wasn’t a loyal guy and there’s no way I would’ve been able to stay married to a man who was constantly cheating on me; but at the same time, I often wish your dad had more of a take-charge attitude. It would be nice if he was the kind of guy who’d just grab my hand and lead me somewhere for a night because he felt like it. I mean, Bill and I did things I never would’ve dreamed of doing, and I still think about them all these years later. That’s the kind of man you want. Find yourself a creative, fun guy who knows what he wants, and can make memories with you that will last a lifetime. Because sex drives change, emotions change, jobs change, and looks change, but two things don’t change: creativity and an assertive attitude—and those two qualities will make endless memories. Don’t get me wrong, gifts and presents are nice, but real memories are so much more important than diamond bracelets and expensive dinners.”

  Ashley had a few questions after this unexpected conversation, but one far and away took priority to the others. Mom had briefly mentioned something and now it was stuck in her head. She needed to know.

  “What was Bill like in bed?”

  Jen smiled before peering down at the table.

  “Hey!” Ashley remarked. “I thought we discussed everything?”

  “Okay, okay,” Jen laughed, conceding to the inevitable. It was only fair to be completely honest. “He was…fun. He was unpredictable, aggressive, and his take-charge attitude carried over into the bedroom, and I honestly didn’t realize how important that was until I no longer had it.”

  “With Dad?” Ashley asked.

  Jen nodded and said, “Yeah, listen, no guy’s perfect, and I’m sure your father has a list of thing I do that drives him nuts. Everyone has flaws. I just want you to find a guy who checks off your most important needs, because you won’t be able to change a guy into the man you want no matter how hard you try. Bill was a cheater. I tried to change him into a loyal guy, I couldn’t, and I eventually had to move on. Loyalty was too high up on my list of needs to sacrifice. So if an assertive attitude is important to you, then you shouldn’t waste your time with a guy who needs to be led.”

  “I wish Mike was like that,” Ashley remarked. “You know, sexually. I always have to be the one to initiate things. Sometimes I wish he would just take control.”

  Jen took another sip of her coffee.

  “Do you think I need to find a different guy?” her daughter inquired.

  “I would never tell you who to date, but really think if Mike is giving you the things you want,” Jen said. “If he isn’t, then find someone who can.”

  “Oh my God!” Ashley dramatically shouted. “Speaking of sex! I can’t believe I didn’t tell you!”

  “Tell me what?” Jen asked.

  “Okay, so while I was over at Mr. M’s—”

  Jen interjected, “Mr. M’s?”

  “Yeah, that’s Ryan’s name,” the teen told her mother. “It felt kind of weird calling a guy that much older than me by his first name, you know?”

  “What about him?”

  A big smile grew on Ashley’s face. “So, I carry one of the boxes labeled ‘bedroom’ upstairs to his room, set it down on the floor and open it up, and guess what I see?”

  Her mother waited.

  “Guess,” Ashley requested.

  “I have no idea.”

  “Come on, Mom, guess,” whined Ashley.

  “Um… Clothes?” Jen speculated.

  Ashley shook her head.

  “Sex related?” Jen asked.

  Her daughter nodded.

  “Was it porn?”

  Ashley shook her head again.

  “I have no idea,” Jen finally conceded. “What was it?”

  Ashley’s smile couldn’t be bigger at the moment. How had she forgotten to reveal this information? “It was full of sex toys.”

  “Sex toys!?” Jen shouted, her eyes instinctively looking to the ceiling after she remembered that Tom was still asleep.

  “Uh-huh,” the eighteen-year-old brunette nodded. “And not just sex toys, but kinky sex toys!”

  Jen’s ear to ear smile now resembled that of her daughter’s. “Like what?”

  “Belts, paddles, blindfolds, leashes, collars, ball gags, rope, handcuffs, and I saw something which looked like nipple clamps.”

  “How do you know what nipple clamps look like?” Jen laughed.

  The teen blushed before admitting, “I guess I wouldn’t, but, I uh…a few years ago…kind of started reading erotica.”

  “What!?” Jen yelled. “Are you serious?”

  It looked like everything was out on the table. Why stop now? Ashley was ready to admit to it all. “Heather shares an Amazon account with her mom and she reads that kind of
stuff. Heather ended up downloading some of the books and got into it, I tried reading some of them; and well, I liked it—a lot.”

  Stunned would be the best world to describe Jen’s current mood. Her daughter was reading erotica? Erotica!? Wasn’t that reserved for old ladies with horrible sex lives? Gorgeous girls still years from the legal drinking age were the last demographic she’d expected to be reading porn.

  “What kind?”

  “Um…I uh…I like a lot of the rougher stuff,” Ashley admitted, still slightly embarrassed. “Do you know what BDSM is?”

  Jen’s jaw dropped.

  “You do!?” Ashley laughed.

  “Sweetheart, I’ve read more erotic novels than you could possibly imagine,” said Jen. “I’m well versed in the world of BDSM. Well, not in real life; but when it comes to fantasy, I’m an expert. Believe me, I could give you a long list of recommendations if you want.”

  Ashley excitedly asked, “You can!?”

  “Absolutely, I—”

  Ashley abruptly shot out of her seat and hurried to grab her backpack. “Shit! I’m gonna be late! Thanks for the talk, Mom!”

  “Anytime, honey,” Jen smiled as the sound of her daughter’s rapid footsteps quickly faded, giving way to the thud of the front door slamming shut.

  She sat alone at the table and reflected on what she’d just heard. Ball gags and nipple clamps? Who exactly was this Mr. M?

  Chapter 4 – Temptation

  One Week Later. 8:45 PM.

  Tom’s occasional shift changes had turned into his new schedule over the past week; and as bad as it may have sounded, Jen kind of liked it. Her husband’s 8-4 hours had been replaced by 2-10, and that resulted in her rarely encountering him these days. And not feeling the slightest bit of sadness over seeing him less had to be a sign, right? That things were officially dead?