Christmas Cupcakes and a Caper

by D. E. Haggerty

Bake in two batches for 15-18 minutes or until the tops of the cupcakes spring back when lightly touched and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

  Carefully remove the cupcakes from the pan and transfer to a wire rack to cool.

  For the frosting

  In a large mixing bowl, beat the cream cheese until smooth. Add the butter and mix for about 30 seconds to 1 minute until well combined and smooth. Add in the powdered sugar and vanilla extract and continue mixing until combined. Scrape the sides of the bowl as needed.

  Once the cupcakes have cool completely, pipe the frosting on top.

  An Excerpt from Never Trust a Skinny Cupcake Baker

  Chapter 1

  Whoever said ‘nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’ has never had cupcakes.

  Anna bursts into the kitchen. “He’s here,” she gasps. The swinging door separating the café from the kitchen smacks her in the butt, but she just stands there fanning herself.

  I look up from the tray of cupcakes I’m icing and raise my eyebrows at her. “Who is it exactly that is here?” The question isn’t necessary. I know precisely who she’s talking about. Even though my heart rate nearly doubles in response to her announcement, I act unaffected and return to my beloved cupcakes.

  “Detective Hottie,” she breathes out.

  Sigh. Detective Hottie, as Anna so affectionately calls him, is the police detective who she’s been trying to hook me up with since my latest relationship crashed and burned. There’s not really anything left to fight for in a relationship when a boyfriend tells his supposed girlfriend he won’t have sex with her until she loses at least twenty pounds and then walks out.

  “Stop thinking about that jerk face,” Anna grits out. There are definitely disadvantages to working with your best friend. She can totally read my mind and doesn’t bother to even try to not use her knowledge against me. I never should have told her that her pink hair was cute on the first day of junior high when the other kids were teasing her.

  My best friend doesn’t allow me time for contemplation. She grabs my elbow and starts lugging me towards the storefront. There’s no way she could drag me if I didn’t let her. Anna’s not even five feet tall and, with her bright pink spiky hair, easily confused with a pixie. The girl doesn’t even weigh enough to donate blood – let alone drag a heifer like me across my kitchen. I set my pastry bag down on the nearest table and push my glasses up the bridge of my nose before turning to the crazy baker.

  “You don’t have to drag me, I’m going already,” I whisper-shout. It’s not like I don’t want to go out there. Of course, I do. Any red-blooded American woman wants to be up close to Detective Hottie. But he’s completely and totally out of my league. Doesn’t matter to Anna, though. In the past two months since my boyfriend walked out on me, she’s become relentless in her goal to hook me up with the detective. The last time I refused to serve him; she crushed a cupcake onto my head. I was washing out frosting for days. And isn’t that a waste?

  I push open the door separating the kitchen from the café area and smile up at Ben. I’m not exactly short at five feet five inches, but Ben is easily six feet. And like the nickname Detective Hottie indicates, he’s hot. Like hotter than the bakery kitchen even when Anna’s been baking for hours with all the ovens on go. His brown eyes remind me of melted chocolate ganache and he has the sweetest dimple on his left cheek. And he’s built. He probably weighs 200 pounds, but it’s all muscle on this man. He must get his suits tailor-made. There’s no way an off-the-rack suit can fit his wide shoulders and biceps, which are too big for my hands to wrap around. Time to stop staring and serve the man.

  “Good morning, Ben. How are you?” I just manage not to swoon as I stare into his dark brown eyes that are twinkling as if he knows how hard of a time I’m having.

  “I’m great now that I’m looking at your beautiful face.” I roll my eyes at him. “How are things with you, sweetheart?” I may not be in Ben’s league, but whose heart wouldn’t skip a beat at being called sweetheart by this man?

  I ignore his question. “What can I get you, Ben?”

  “Just a coffee, honey. I’m running late.”

  I quickly turn to the coffee machine and make Ben an extra-large serving. I hand it to him in a to-go cup, and he starts to pull out his wallet. I immediately pull the coffee away. “You know your money’s no good here,” I state, daring him to try to pay. All the boys (and girls for that matter) in blue drink for free at Callie’s Cakes. It’s a tradition started by the former owner and, in honor of that wonderful woman, I’ve kept the tradition going.

  Ben doesn’t put his wallet away. Instead, he pulls out a five-dollar bill and puts it into the tip jar, which is actually a piggy bank in the shape of a cupcake. After he puts his wallet away, he looks at me and raises an eyebrow as if daring me to say anything. I don’t agree with a five-dollar tip on a two-dollar cup of coffee, and he knows it. I’m not in the mood to argue today though. I shrug instead and hand him his coffee. My traitor fingers tingle as he deliberately brushes my hand as he grabs the cup.

  “Be safe out there,” I say and start to turn away.

  But Ben doesn’t let me off the hook that easy. “When are you finally going to let me take you out, Callie?”

  I cross my arms over my chest and stare him down. We’ve been having this argument for a year now. It’s getting tedious. That’s a total lie. What it really is, is getting more and more difficult to say no to him. I shake my head. “I’d say the statistical probability is zero.”

  Ben shakes his head. “I never did like statistics.”

  “You don’t want to date me, Ben.”

  He smiles that devastating smile; the one where his dimple shows. “I’ve been asking you out nearly every day for a year now. Does that sound like a man who doesn’t want to date you?”

  I ignore his question and prod him to leave instead. “Thought you were running late.”

  He looks down at his watch and mutters a few choice swear words under his breath. “Til tomorrow then,” he says and salutes me with his coffee cup before stalking out of the place.

  I head into the kitchen, but Anna’s blocking me. She’s standing there with her hands on her hips, full of attitude. I don’t bother trying to push past her. The pixie may not be able to stop me, but she’ll grab onto me and wrap herself around me like an anaconda snake if she thinks it’s necessary. Instead, I walk out from behind the display cases and start gathering the used mugs and trash from the tables. The bakery isn’t big, but we have enough room for seven tables and their accompanying seats. There’d be more room if I hadn’t updated the area with comfy armchairs and loveseats. I want customers to be comfortable and stick around – although the free Wi-Fi code customers get with a purchase only lasts for thirty minutes. I may have studied German literature instead of business, but that doesn’t mean I’m completely devoid of business savvy.

  “Why don’t you give Ben a chance? He’s hot!” Anna practically shouts across the bakery. The morning rush may have come and gone, but the place is never empty. Being close to the University means we have college kids lounging around the place at all times of the day. The chatter immediately stills, and everyone looks at me. I blush and shake my head. I grab my tray and rush into the back of the bakery with Anna on my heels.

  I put down my tray and turn on her. “What is wrong with you? You may be my best friend but don’t you dare do that again!” I hiss at her and turn back to load the dishes before I say something I’m going to regret.

  I feel a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Callie.” She takes a deep breath. “But seriously? Why don’t you go out with him?”

  I hang my head. She’s not going to stop until I talk to her. “Look at me, Anna. I’m no one’s ideal date.” I indicate my size fourteen body with a sweep of my hand. “I don’t want a pity date.”

  Anna snorts. “You’re an idiot.” I start to respond, but she throws her hand up like a stop sign. “You may have a PhD Dr. Muller,
but you are completely clueless when it comes to men. That man thinks you’re hot. He’s been asking you out for a year! He’s not looking for a pity date.”

  I sigh and shake my head. She’s not exactly impartial. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not ready to date again anyway.”

  “That jerk of an ex did a number on you,” she mutters and moves away. I think I’ve finally managed to escape her inquisition for the day, but in no time she’s back waving a flyer in my face. “So,” she says and hands me the piece of paper, “I’ve got the solution for you.”

  I look down at the flyer she shoved into my hands and immediately start shaking my head. “No way.” I put my hands up in self-defense and start to back away. “I am not doing a pole dancing course. I’d break the freaking pole!”

  My pushy assistant isn’t taking no for an answer. “No, you won’t. Anyway, I already signed us up and paid for the course.”

  “Why pole dancing? Are you trying to humiliate me? I can’t be sexy.”

  Anna growls. “You can be sexy! What am I saying? You are sexy! You just need some self-esteem and that’s why we’re learning to pole dance.” She turns and heads back to the café, but just before she’s gone, she glances over her shoulder. “The first class is tonight at quarter to five.”

  “Quarter to five! I don’t have time to get to my apartment for clothes.” The bakery closes at four each afternoon, but I usually need an additional half an hour or so to get things cleaned up and in order for the next morning.

  Anna smiles and winks. “Don’t worry. I’ve got you covered.” No good ever came from those words uttered from her mouth.

  Keep reading Never Trust a Skinny Cupcake Baker

  Thanks!

  Wow! That was quick. I’ve never written a novella before, and I wasn’t sure if I was going to like it. I was worried solving a murder in a novella would be impossible! But then a writer friend gave me an idea and voilà – a finished novella!

  Much of this novella was actually written while I was visiting my parents. Anyone who’s tried to work while visiting family knows working at the kitchen table does not work. Not at all. Luckily, I discovered the brand-spanking-new public library. I am seriously in love with this library – she says as she sits in the café of the library after hogging a study room for most of the day. Two cheers for libraries!

  I couldn’t have done it without you, though. So, thank you to all my blog followers, twitter peeps, Instagram followers, newsletter subscribers, and Facebook friends for encouraging and supporting me as I continue to struggle with finding some balance in my life. I’ve discovered balance means that sometimes you get less writing down and sometimes you hit it out of the park. It all balances out. Pun intended.

  I may be super-proud to call myself an indie writer – even when people I meet say in a somewhat snooty voice ‘Oh, you’re self-published’ as if I have a communicable disease. But ‘independent’ is a major misnomer because it totally takes more than little ‘ole me to turn an idea into a published book. Let’s name those helpers!

  First and foremost, thanks to my friends and family who allow me to bounce ideas off of them at the most random and sometimes inappropriate of times and locations. There is a point to my questions – I promise! A special thanks to all my acquaintances who inspire me with their stories and funny antics. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

  The hubby deserves special mention for designing my book covers, being a beta reader, and just being all-around Mr. Supportive. Sometimes I worry he’s going to figure out that my characters feel more genuine to me than real life, but he still puts up with me after some twenty-odd years, so I guess he isn’t totally turned off by me not being entirely normal.

  And then there’s my editor. Thanks, Carol for continuing to make time for me when you have a gazillion other things going on in your life.

  I also want to throw a general thank you out into the digital universe to thank all the book bloggers who have helped me promote my books and especially those who take the time to read and review one or more of my books. You can’t believe how thankful I am there are bloggers out there who not only read my emails begging them for a review but also actually take the time to answer. Thank you!!!

  Of course, I can’t forget to thank you, the reader, for buying the book and reading it. I would be extremely honored and thankful if you could write a review—even if it’s just a line or two. You can do that here.

  If you want to keep up with what I’m writing next and maybe get some good deals on books, too, sign up for my newsletter here. Or you can just follow me on social media, where I’ll probably say lots of inappropriate things thinking I’m being hilarious.

  About the Author

  I grew up reading everything I could get my grubby hands on, from my mom's Harlequin romances to Nancy Drew, to Little Women. When I wasn't flipping pages in a library book, I was penning horrendous poems, writing songs no one should ever sing, or drafting stories which have thankfully been destroyed. College and a stint in the U.S. Army came along, robbing me of free time to write and read, although on the odd occasion I did manage to sneak a book into my rucksack between rolled up socks, MRIs, t-shirts, and cold weather gear. After surviving the army experience, I went back to school and got my law degree. I jumped ship and joined the hubby in the Netherlands before the graduation ceremony could even begin. A few years into my legal career, I was exhausted, fed up, and just plain done. I quit my job and sat down to write a manuscript, which I promptly hid in the attic after returning to the law. But being a lawyer really wasn’t my thing, so I quit (again!) and went off to Germany to start a B&B. Turns out being a B&B owner wasn’t my thing either. I polished off that manuscript languishing in the attic before following the husband to Istanbul where I decided to give the whole writer-thing a go. But ten years was too many to stay away from my adopted home. I packed up again and moved to The Hague where I’m currently working on my next book. I hope I’ll always be working on my next book.

  Connect with me online:

  Website & blog

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  Complete book list

  Buried Appearances / Begraven in het Verleden

  Life Discarded

  Murder, Mystery & Dating Mayhem

  Jack Gets His Man

  Love in the Time of Murder

  The Gray-Haired Knitting Detectives Series

  Molly’s Misadventures

  Never Trust a Skinny Cupcake Baker (Book 1 of the Death by Cupcake Series)

  Bring Your Own Baker (Book 2 of the Death by Cupcake Series)

  Self-Serve Murder (Book 3 of the Death by Cupcake Series)

  The Death by Cupcake Series

  Fat Girl Begone!

  Searching for Gertrude

  Finders, Not Keepers (Book 1 of the Not So Reluctant Detective Series)

  Picture Not Perfect (Book 2 of the Not So Reluctant Detective Series)

  Hide Not Seek (Book 3 of the Not So Reluctant Detective Series)

  The Not So Reluctant Detective Series

  Cozy Mysteries Boxed Set

  About Face (Book 1 of the Love in the Suburbs Series)