Beautiful Otherness

by Shirley Simmons

  To my surprise, my mom just held me and said, “Everything is going to be okay.” She rarely got upset about anything. I apologized to the other parents for a month, but each would always give me a long hug and say, “It’s okay.”

  EUPHORIA

  Before his hits 1999, Little Red Corvette and Purple Rain in the fall of 1981, Prince was not a rock star. He was an unknown with one R&B hit single I Wanna Be Your Lover. Mick Jagger was a fan, so he extended an invitation to Prince to be the opening act on the Rolling Stone tour.

  The Stones were breaking attendance records and the L.A. Coliseum had close to ninety-four thousand seats filled that day. Prince and his band took the stage, and before a single note was played, it was clear that this was not going to go well. It was his attire: a trench coat, thigh-high boots, and black bikini briefs. The crowd quickly began to hurl racist and homophobic slurs at him and his band. I am sure Prince could take the boos and derogatory remarks, but the food thrown at him and the band was the final straw. It was too much. In the middle of “Uptown,” Prince walked off stage and flew home to Minneapolis.

  The following day Mick called Prince telling him he had had all types of things thrown at him, and with a little persuasion, Prince was back on stage the following day to finish the tour. But he received the same response throughout the rest of it and vowed to never be the opening act again, regardless of who the headliner artist was.

  I fell in love with this story the first time I heard it. All I could think of was how knowing your worth can make all the difference in a life, and how those Stones’ fans must feel now knowing they ignored a genius.

  No one wants to be the person that misses a genius!

  ____

  The first time I heard a Prince song was at Skate World. The song was Head, and I was hooked. The beat was sick. I did not know the words or what the song was about. I simply liked the beat. It was unlike anything I had heard before. You see, those days you had a simple choice. It was either Michael Jackson or Prince! That song solidified it for me. I was all in on team Prince.

  That night was amazing! The lights from the arena pierced the darkness of the evening like a laser show. You could smell the aroma of weed as the Tallahassee Police directed traffic. It did not seem to matter that law enforcement had officers everywhere.

  Clouds of smoke floated and burst into the night from all directions. We had taken the roof off my new Pontiac Fiero, so there was no barrier between the smoke and the pulsating music. Let’s go Crazy and every other Prince song railed from the cars as well as the songs from the B-side.

  “I can’t freakin’ believe we are here. Prince!”

  “I know! This is going to be a great show! I’m probably going to be grounded after tonight, Kennedy.”

  “Don’t panic on me, David. Besides, who wouldn’t mind being grounded for seeing Prince!”

  “You’re right.”

  “It wouldn’t surprise me to see your parents here. I mean who doesn’t like Prince!”

  “Well, I don’t think that’s going to happen. They’re parrot heads.”

  ‘They’re what? What’s a parrot head?”

  “Jimmy Buffet. Do not tell me you have never heard of Jimmy Buffet! Margaritaville? The parrot on the shoulder?”

  “David, we live in a small country town, and I live in a black neighborhood, so, no, I haven’t heard of Jimmy Buffet. And what’s a parrot head?”

  “That’s someone that follows Jimmy Buffet. It’s like a super fan!”

  Once we parked, David took my hand as we walked through the thick froth of people. We darted in and out of the crowd like the game Frogger, trying not to get separated. Occasionally, he would stop only to ask if I was okay. After what seemed like forever, we finally arrived at our seats just as the lights began to go down and Vanity Six appeared on the stage.

  The crowd erupted when the lights came up revealing three women with perfect figures in lingerie. Joints volleyed back and forth between the crowds. “Let me hit that” could be heard all around us. I was getting a contact high and laughed every time someone choked or coughed. For some reason I found it funny to watch someone trying to find the air in their lungs once marijuana smoke was mixed with it.

  This was not the first time I had been around weed, and it surely didn’t bother me that people smoked. Yet, this was the first time I had been around so much of it.

  David and I kissed and danced the whole first act. During intermission, we talked about our drive to Tallahassee to get here. It was the farthest I had driven away from home. I had taken day trips to the beach before, but they were only thirty to forty miles away. Tallahassee was something altogether different.

  I had lied to my mother, telling her that a cousin and I wanted to go to the Prince concert. I had never deceived my mother before, and I never thought I would have to. But asking her if I could go to a concert in Tallahassee and stay in a hotel with my boyfriend just did not seem like something she would approve of. And if she had found out who I was with, I am sure she would have come searching through the whole concert, weed contact and all, to drag me home. I could just picture her rushing the stage in her church dress.

  “Excuse me, Mr. Prince. Move out of my way.” I could hear her voice as if she were there. It was like I could even see her snatching the mic from him.

  “Kennedy, you have ten minutes to meet me at my car!” Then, turning back to him saying, “You need to put on some clothes young man,” before giving the mic back to him. This image stayed with me throughout the rest of the concert and I chuckled each time I saw her in my mind’s eye.

  “Kennedy, you’re crazy!” David choked back the laughter hearing my story of my mom interrupting Prince.

  “I’m not kidding, David. My mom would do it! She may even have a couple of women from the church with her!”

  “For real? You’re joking, right?”

  “My mother allows me to get away with a lot of things! And let us just say I have a long leash, but this might prove to be too much.”

  The sound of Peter Piper quickly stole our attention from the conversation. “Kennedy, come dance with me!”

  This was our first real date since New Year’s Eve, and it was turning out to be amazing. I looked deeply into David’s eyes as we danced in the aisles and talked about him moving away. We promised to visit each other and to continue to date.

  Dearly Beloved, followed by a guitar intro, echoed from the stage speakers. A blinding white light demanded our attention. Smoke filled the stage and a silhouetted figure with a guitar appeared. The crowd erupted, and women began to scream and faint. Women in camisoles and lingerie rushed the stage as men just stared. Even some of the women who were not wearing lingerie undressed to their bra and panties. They had come to worship at the altar of Prince as if the Holy Ghost had taken them over. Women outnumbered the men in attendance, and it was clear that they were under his spell. For over two hours, Prince controlled the crowd like a puppet master.

  “That was the best concert ever.” David said back in our hotel room.

  “Are your ears ringing?”

  “Yea.”

  We laid across the bed exhausted. David kissed me, but all I could think of was the disappointment my mother would have if she knew where I was. My thoughts turned to the image of her barging into the concert and dragging me home. I don’t know if it was the contact high from all the weed, but my paranoia had taken over. The laughter and joy I had been experiencing all night suddenly turned to panic, and just that quickly, I was a mess. Whatever happiness I had prior to the show was now filled with guilt. David and I laid there trying to not think about our deceit or how early we needed to be up. The long drive back home that awaited us was our last thought before falling asleep.

  SENIORS

  “Hey guys, I’m home!” Kylie shouted throughout the house. Greyson and I had a sense of relief. If it had been five minutes sooner, Kylie would have found us on the veranda half naked.

  “Upstairs in our
bedroom, honey,” I called out. She entered the room with a huge smile on her face and began to dance.

  “It was a unanimous vote, I’m the new chapter president!”

  “Congratulations, Kylie!” Greyson and I sang out in unison.

  “You two look so happy. What have I missed?”

  “Not much. I was just telling your father about the time I met Prince.” I tried not to smile and expose the prank I was playing.

  “Mom, you never told me you met Prince.” Her voice was filled with excitement.

  “Sure, I did! Remember I told you about the time me and your Aunt Murphy were in L.A.? You’re sure you don’t remember?” I continued trying to hold in the laugher.

  “I think I would remember something like that. Besides, you suck at pranks, Mom, and I can tell you’re up to one right now.”

  Greyson chimed in, “She is so right, babe. You are horrible at pranks. That was just painful to watch.”

  “Well, I was there at one of his concerts. That’s almost like meeting him, isn’t it? Okay, let us just move on, then. I was telling your father about my life experiences.”

  “Great! Mom-stories. I definitely have to hear this.”

  *

  Life began to change for me my senior year of high school. I was always involved with diverse groups of people, and that exposed me to different places—different ways of doing things. David, the last guy that I had chosen to date was the popular guy who all the cheerleaders wanted, so of course I was disliked by an entirely new group of girls, but that didn’t bother me so much. The way I saw it, David wanted me, and he was super cute.

  I had not had sex with him or any other boy for that matter; I had decided after Rodney that it wouldn’t be easy for anyone to get to me in that way. Looking back at it all, my behavior might have been childish, but I enjoyed the power that I held over them. And after all, isn’t that one of the powers women have?

  They soon discovered that I made the rules, and the rules could change at any time. I learned that from my old friend Kelly. The rules were subject to how I felt or the attention I received. For the life of me, I do not know why any of these boys continued to want to go out with me. I only showed interest or made time for them when it was convenient for me.

  Kelly had begun attending Spellman College in Atlanta. She would give me updates about college, and her stories were amazing. So, I jumped at the opportunity when she invited me to visit during my break. I asked my mom and she said yes, but only if I paid for my plane ticket with my own money. I think her request was only a test to see if I would do it. It was important to her to start teaching me some real-life values.

  At the time I did not have a job, but I took it as a challenge. I got a job at Burger King. It was easy because one of my childhood friends already worked there. This was my first time ever working in fast food, and although I knew that this was not for me, I had a plan which I held on to very tightly. I worked there for about five weeks, putting burgers on the grill. They would not allow me to do anything else, but I was fine with that because I was only there to save up the $250.00 I needed for my plane tickets, and maybe a little extra for spending money of my own. I knew Mom would give me some cash to spend, but this would surprise her. And it felt good to have actually earned it.

  “Kennedy, I really didn’t think you would stick it out!”

  “What do you mean, Mom? I knew you were only testing me.”

  “You’re right. It was a test. I wanted to see how badly you wanted to go, and I wanted to know if you could accomplish something you felt was difficult.” My mom looked me in the eyes.

  “Well, I really do want to go, and I think it will be a great learning experience.”

  “Don’t give me that ‘learning experience’ line. I’m aware that this is strictly about you and Kelly having a good time.”

  Once I purchased my plane ticket, I stopped working there. The friend that helped me get hired was disappointed that I quit after such a short time. She had a goal of becoming a manager there, which was fine by me. I wished her the best but… I was off to ATL.

  It was homecoming week at Spellman. Kelly had me all excited about the parties we were going to attend. This was going to be the best trip ever, and it changed my perspective of my young life so much that I started looking forward to going to college.

  Kelly had planned a perfect trip. I was exposed to the magnificent pageants they had on campus. The girls were so beautiful and intelligent, but I was blown away by their talent. It was unlike anything I had ever seen. Every night, all week, there was a vast array of parties to choose from. One night it would be a party with house music, another night it would be go-go music, and another would be jazz. My favorites, though, were the Florida bass music parties. Even though Atlanta wasn’t far away from Florida, Spellman had a lot of students from across the country, which meant Florida bass music was foreign to most of them, But once they heard it, they loved it.

  If you were from Florida, you received a tremendous amount of attention, and everyone just assumed you knew the dances that went with the songs. I think the music gave students that were not from the South the green light to let the inner bad boy and hoochie mama show. Also, during my visit, Spike Lee was on the campus shooting his movie School Daze. We were privileged to act as extras for the movie. I was loving it. Somewhere out there is footage of me dancing in a Spike Lee movie!

  The life here was not one I was used to or had experienced before. Living in the dorms, eating in the cafeteria, and meeting groups of college girls was all very new to me. Most of these girls came from upper-class families. They were very nice, though some were snooty. But that did not matter to me because I felt like I belonged. Everywhere I went, I was made to feel welcome.

  Kelly’s cousin was a musician for the musical, Mama I Want to Sing, so he got us backstage passes for that as well as the Doug E. Fresh concert. College was so different from the small town I was raised in, and I remember wishing at the time that I didn’t have to return.

  Spellman was a life-changing experience. After that visit, I just knew I had to go to college. The experience gave me a certain resolve to improve. I knew that I had to make some major changes in order to get accepted into a good college, so when I returned home, I began to scrap a lot of the activities I was involved in and focused on the things I needed to do, like taking the required classes. And even though I was late preparing for college, I was determined.

  My grades were only average, so that was a concern. But I knew that with the help of God, it could and would be done in time to get accepted. I felt like a fish out of water during this process. None of my high school friends were talking about going to college. It seemed so strange to most of them. Also, a lot of my friends from school were younger than I was, so I was alone in what I was doing. My mom didn’t know anything about the process either, but she did her best to find me the resources I needed to make the transition, and with the help of my school guidance counselors, it was starting to look as though it was really doable, like it was really going to happen.

  I finally convinced one of the girls from the neighborhood to get on board with going to college so I could at least have someone to prepare with. My mom hired tutors and bought SAT and ACT study materials to improve my scores before the final submission dates. I became reserved and focused. I knew that life was about to become serious and I could not bear the thought of failing. I wanted out of the small town. I wanted no part of what it was offering. I made sure I did not fail.

  My mother was so proud to announce to the church that I had been accepted at Bethune Cookman College - BCU. I knew she was proud of me, but I must say I was a little shocked when she stood before the church with my acceptance letter making the announcement. The congregation cheered and congratulated me, but all I could think of was that there would be no more playing the piano for the church. It was the one thing that I had never missed a day of. No matter how late I stayed out on a Saturday, I was faithful to it. It was
what I had been doing every Sunday since the age of fourteen.

  *

  “So, Mom, can I expect to have all the same fun you had while visiting Spellman?” Kylie’s lips curled up into a sneaky smile.

  “Uh, young lady, even though they are entertaining, your mother is telling you her life’s experiences for you to learn from them. Not necessarily to emulate them. There are some things you may be able to do and others that you won’t as long as I’m still alive.” Greyson was the consummate daddy.

  “Oh goodness, Dad! You just don’t want me to have any fun, do you?” Kylie grinned at him in an attempt to play up her Daddy’s little girl persona, the one that almost always got her what she wanted from him.

  Greyson pursed his lips and puffed up his chest, mocking the ‘me Tarzan’ stance. “That’s exactly right. You get me, kiddo!” Greyson held his composure for a minute until Kylie and I started laughing. Then he burst out into fits of laughter that lasted until he was out of breath.

  It is not always easy for a woman to share some of the not-so-nice sides of herself and her past with her husband. It can be difficult to tell your truth and show your imperfections to anyone. However, it was different with Greyson. I shared everything with him. Even the ugliest, darkest corners of my life. I knew Greyson would never judge me.

  I had not planned on sharing with Kylie, too, but as a mother to a teenaged daughter, there are some missteps I took in life that I did not want her to repeat. So, her coming home earlier than expected and me sharing with both of them was certainly divinely orchestrated.

  “Sweetheart, you will get to do plenty of fun things when you go off to college. And you’ll make your own mistakes no matter how well your father and I try to prepare you. We just always want you to be respectful of yourself first and others second. We want you to understand that every situation comes with boundaries and mistakes often have unpleasant consequences. That doesn’t mean every mistake will be a bad one. Sometimes they can lead to unexpected surprises that open new doors for us in a good way. We’ve raised you to use your mind so you can think clearly for yourself.” I was open with Kylie.