Beautiful Otherness

by Shirley Simmons

  I rarely told anyone about my inheritance, including Dr. Morgan or Chase. I may have mentioned the house I grew up in was being rented out, but that was it. I made every effort to keep my business to myself, especially about my past and being adopted. As far as anyone knew, I was an only child with not much family or income. It was a strategy that I felt I needed in order to survive.

  STRONGER

  Contemplating my reflection in the mirror, wrapped in a satin robe, and still sitting in the room that the hair and makeup team had just evacuated, I wondered if my mother would make the same choice of giving me up for adoption today as she had then, knowing she would eventually pay with her life at the hands of Phillip, the man who fathered me. It was a question I often thought of. Did she consider the ramifications of adoption knowing Phillip was so volatile? Surely, she had a level of fearlessness that you had to have to take on someone like Phillip. She had to know his past was a clear sign of how far he would go to get revenge against anyone who challenged his authority. And why was she involved with someone like Phillip anyway? From all accounts of what I have heard about my biological mother, I could not come to terms with why she decided to put herself in that position. So many things had to go right for everyone involved to walk away happy. Sometimes I think that if we stopped to think about all the ramifications involved and the potential consequences of the decisions we make, we’d never do anything.

  ____

  Greyson, Kylie and I moved to the couch as I was making it to the final parts of my story. It was almost time for us to get dressed, and I wanted Kylie to know about how I became the businesswoman I am today and about the first time I met her dad…

  *

  I decided to meet with my attorney to transition me into running the business and property management. I had developed a plan to take control of everything. I figured it would be the quickest way for me to grow. Besides, it was mine, and it was time for me to be an adult and not wait for someone to decide what I should or should not do with what was rightfully mine.

  The entire time I had been in college, I had someone other than myself managing things for me. I remember once when I returned home, I went to the storage unit that housed all my mother’s belongings. A living room set, dining room set, piano, and all the other furniture from our home was stored in that unit. The manager told me that they had auctioned off the contents of the unit. I was furious and started to scream and yell. The manager told me that they had not received payment for the unit, and they had attempted to reach me. Invoices were going to one of my relatives who was to pay for the unit; but they had not made a payment in six months. This was the one task I had forgotten to assign to the managers before moving to Arkansas, and without thinking things through, I asked my cousin. I rushed to the relative’s house prepared to face the thief. My mind raced with the thought that I had lost all my mother’s heirlooms. For over two hours, I sat in her driveway waiting for her to show up.

  “Kennedy, when did you get in town?” She tried to get in the door quickly before I could rush her.

  “That’s not important. Why didn’t you pay for the storage unit? You were supposed to pay the bill for me.” I got up in her face.

  “I never agreed to pay your bills. I don’t have time to handle your responsibilities for you.”

  “Why didn’t you just tell me that instead of ignoring the bill to the point where now all my mother’s possessions were sold at auction?”

  We went back and forth exchanging obscenities and threats before we both calmed down.

  “Where is my money? I want my money!” My arms were flailing everywhere.

  Leaving me standing on the porch, she went into the house and returned with six months of checks for the storage unit and told me to leave.

  I knew it was my responsibility to make sure things were done, but losing my mother made things hurt like hell. She could have at least warned me that she wasn’t going to send the checks.

  *

  The attorney told me he could have the property management documents ready in a month or so, but the business would require forms to be filed with the state which could take a little longer.

  Living with my cousin was nice. However, I tried to stay away as much as possible. She was a mother with three kids, two in high school and one in middle school, so I wanted to give them space. The middle school kid warmed up to me right away; he always wanted to hang out with me. He was always asking questions about college. Which school did I like better? What were the girls like? Was it hard to get in? How much homework do they give you?

  His inquisitiveness was cute. But I had to tell him, “Look, cousin, you have to get a haircut if you want the girls in college to talk to you.”

  “My mom won’t take me to the barber. I mean, she’s too busy.”

  “Wow, I didn’t realize just how busy your mom is, with you kids and all. Why don’t I take you now? Would you like that?”

  He beamed from ear to ear. He was so handsome once I took him to get his haircut. I think he smiled all the way home.

  To keep me from getting bored and distracted from my plan and Chase, I got a part-time job at Macy’s. It was my way of staying focused until things fell into place. Sonya worked for Macy’s, so she spoke to her supervisor on my behalf, and I was hired quickly. Sonya had started living with her mother so that she would not be alone until her father fully retired from his job in New Jersey. She still had that New Jersey hustle, she still talked loud and fast; sometimes it was so fast I found it difficult to understand her. Sonya would curse you out in a minute even though she was beautiful, and she dressed like a movie star. I often thought to myself, how could this beautiful well-dressed woman be speaking to me like this?

  Seeing Sonya, one would know that she wasn’t from Florida. Don’t get me wrong, there are lots of women from Florida or from other places who dressed very well, but Sonya looked completely different and you noticed it right away. She had a look that was polished. It was astonishing how she always looked complete. Her hair, makeup, clothes, accessories, and perfume were always spot on. Even the way she moved and spoke was polished. Until she started cursing you out.

  Sonya was deeply into fashion and running game on guys. I could not keep up with her when it came to either one and I was not about to try. That was a contest I wanted no part of. I had to be myself. She did not go to college like her sister, but she had a degree in street smarts, and watching her made me realize I needed to have a little of that to survive in this world.

  At this point, I considered myself well-rounded. I had seen and done a lot in my young life. Things people would give their first born to have experienced, and things some people don’t have to endure until they’ve lived a long life. The grief and tragedy, the extreme highs, the friendships and lovers, the loss and wisdom. The past few years had been centered on college, and I had spent a lot of it partying and traveling, but I don’t know what I expected of Orlando.

  Orlando had its share of young professionals, and the city was surely growing. There was a university there, defense contractors made it their base, and it had an international airport, but there was also a lot of partying and clubbing taking place. Some people had average jobs, and some had professional careers, but once you were inside a club, with the lights and the music, you couldn’t tell the difference. It was the great leveler.

  What did I expect from Orlando? I guess I thought I would suddenly become an adult and do what I thought adults did, which turned out to be the same thing I was doing in college. The only difference was people had traded college for a job or career. They worked to pay their mortgage, rent or car note, they worked to take a vacation, they worked to save for their retirement, they worked until they figured out what they wanted to do with their life, and they partied to forget about work. They partied because they no longer had the freedom they once had before they started trading their time for money.

  A part of me was disappointed once I figured this out. I envisioned being an a
dult so differently. I never noticed that my mother worked for these same reasons. She didn’t work to party, it was all about the church with her, but surely, she was working for a mortgage and me.

  It had been a slow day at Macy’s when Sonya’s friend, Deco, showed up. Everyone came alive once he arrived, like a celebrity had come into the store. Clerks and managers came to greet him as he shopped throughout the store.

  I had met Deco about five or six years prior when I was still in high school; one of my friends had a huge crush on him. Deco was a fashion icon in Orlando, and he always looked like he was dressed for a fashion show. He was doing things with fashion that were way ahead of anyone else, and no guy dressed remotely close to that. He would shop at thrift stores for hours buying the oddest things, then deconstruct and reconstruct them into unique attire.

  Deco was talented and versatile, and his personality matched his eccentric appearance. Everyone knew him, and he made you feel as if you were his best friend, even if you had just met him. Deco and Sonya had become close, so once he showed up to the store, they were inseparable. Before he left, he invited us to what he promised would be an outstanding lunch.

  The following day, Sonya and I were off to meet him. On our way, Sonya had me hyped up on what was in store for us. She was a great cook, so I figured if she was that excited, this was going to be outstanding.

  As we got close to Deco’s place, we noticed this guy walking in the direction we were headed.

  “That’s Greyson! Stop the car!”

  I quickly pulled over and Sonya stuck her head out the window and called to him. Greyson removed his sunglasses and headphones, and we waited for him to catch up to us.

  “Hey Sonya, how are you? I didn’t recognize the car.”

  “Hi, Greyson, where are you going?”

  “I’m on my way to Deco’s.”

  “So are we. Hop in. We can ride together.”

  “Greyson, this is Kennedy. Kennedy, this is Greyson.”

  A few moments later, we arrived at Deco’s. The front door flew open and there was Deco, waiting at the door smiling like a greeter at a restaurant. He even had the towel over his arm like a waiter.

  “I hope y’all are hungry?”

  Greyson began to laugh and shake his head. All I knew was I was hungry and excited to see what awaited us.

  “I see you ladies found my boy.”

  The lunch was designed more for us to hang out and talk, so it was not long before Sonya and Deco started sharing the craziest stories. One thing about Sonya, she is very funny, and she can make you laugh nonstop. Deco and Sonya both talked fast as they exchanged adventures and parables, I tried to keep up with the conversation but settled on just sipping the wine. Finally, Deco returned from the kitchen with a casserole dish.

  “Lunch is ready.”

  Greyson began to laugh again. “I’m good, I’m not hungry.” He had taken a seat on the couch away from most of the conversation. He read a magazine as if he were completely disinterested in anything in the room.

  I recall thinking that was weird. Why did he keep laughing at the oddest times? That was before we opened the casserole dish. Staring into the dish, I thought, apparently an outstanding lunch means Hamburger Helper.

  GREYSON DAVENPORT

  While growing up, my mom never spent a lot of time lecturing me. She did, however, always give lessons and examples, little talks or pieces of advice. It was never a full-blown sit-down lecture about a subject; it was more like in-the-moment nuggets of information. As a child I never understood why I would think things like, why is she telling me this or what is she talking about?

  For example, if we were in the car and she saw a young girl kissing a boy while we were passing the apartments or school, she would ask me how I thought the world viewed what they were doing, and then she would get started.

  I remember once at dinner, out of nowhere she looked at me and said, “Kennedy, the character of a man isn’t determined by how much money he earns or his title, and certainly the most handsome man on the outside isn’t always the most handsome.”

  As I grew older, she began to give little hints about relationships. She would say things like, “You never want to be unnoticed sweetheart. A woman wants to be noticed by her man, and you always want to know you mean something to him. You have to mean just as much to him as his money does!” At the time, that bit of childhood information sort of went over my head, in one ear and out the other as they say, but over the years, it became invaluable.

  ____

  Deco was back at Macy’s, and once again he had the employees in the palms of his hands. All the single saleswomen fawned over him, batting their eyes and kissing him. I said hello as he passed.

  “We have to get together again. I will cook.” Deco was serious.

  I just laughed and watched as Deco whisked down the aisle in search of deals.

  “Can you help me, Kennedy?’

  “Hi, Greyson, I didn’t know you were here. Are you with Deco?”

  “Yes, but he is on a whole new level when he is in search of things. I usually just stand back and let him go. Can you help me with this? I need a belt.”

  “Sure, I can ring you up.”

  Greyson had never said much of anything to me. We had never had a conversation, and he had never tried to talk to me, so I was shocked when he asked me for my phone number. I was taken off guard and before I realized what I was saying, I said no. He took the rejection like a gentleman, wished me a great day and thanked me for the service before handing me his business card and walking away. I don’t remember if I regretted saying no at the time, but the final outcome is obvious.

  “I can’t wait to hear how that all played out,” said Kylie as we finished with the final details of the story before getting dressed.

  It had been one of those days that you just simply wanted to get behind you. It was not because something was going wrong nor were things going particularly right. The whole week had just slowly been dragging along. I needed a breakthrough or something. The completion of the business transfers for my mom’s properties continuously played in the back of my head, plus the idea of moving back into my childhood home was starting to sink in. When I left for college, I had vowed that I would never return, and when my mother, Mary, passed, I really didn’t have a reason to return.

  Every day after work, I would take these long drives to try and clear my head. One day I would go to Daytona to walk the beach, another day I’d drive to Cape Canaveral, my favorite getaway, and just sit and think. It offered the most seclusion. There were never many people there, especially young people, so I knew the chances of someone wanting to talk or hit on me were slim. Depending on when you got there, it was like having a whole beach to yourself. I loved the sand dunes and salty air, and the sound of the waves washing ashore always put me at peace. It was always the perfect place for me to escape and forget about my troubles.

  One particular Friday night, I decided to go to a local hotel lounge to pass some time listening to easy music and sipping a drink. The lounge was filled with both locals and hotel guests. A promoter was sponsoring a Hennessey Meet-and-Greet during happy hour. I had promised myself earlier in the week that I wasn’t going to go, but this entire week had gotten the best of me, so at the last minute I had a change of heart.

  I put on the longest hair I had in my closet; at the time I was rocking a cute short bob like Cynda Williams in Mo’ Better Blues. I slipped into a cute little green swing dress with a pair of multi-colored mules and a Chanel clutch.

  Just because I was feeling crappy emotionally did not mean I needed to look like I felt that way. So, I made sure everyone knew that I was looking Hollywood and I made sure that every inch of that hair was swinging and bouncing when I moved. There was no denying that I had it going on that evening, at least on the outside.

  I didn’t recognize anyone there and decided that it was best to take a seat at the bar and enjoy the music.

  At first glance you migh
t have thought I was on a bender. Four empty shot glasses and some beer nuts sat strewn before me at the bar. Two of them were mine, but for some reason everyone’s empty glass made its way in front of me, and the bartender was too busy to keep the area in front of me tidy.

  It was not long before guys began their attempts to gain my interest. Maybe it was all those shot glasses sitting in front of me. Some sent over drinks, others came right over and introduced themselves, but I wasn’t interested even in them or the drinks. Everything was perfect for a woman to meet someone that evening, but one by one, I turned them down. Normally, when I am with either of my girls, it never happens like this, but the one time I’m alone and engaged, God was sending them all my way. I guess it’s like spotting a lone doe. The wolves were on the prowl.

  Amidst all the attention, I noticed Greyson standing across the room. Without hesitation, I rushed over to him and threw my arms around him, squeezing him tightly. I was just glad to have someone there that I knew, a guy I could hang with to keep the others away. He returned the hug.

  “How are you doing? And why so affectionate?”

  “I’m doing wonderful now,” punching his shoulder like a young schoolgirl.

  “Really! Who are you here with?”

  “I’m here by myself. Look at you! You look nice.”

  Greyson had his preppy look working, and for the first time I could see why he and Deco were best friends; he was just as handsome as Deco with his own unique twist on a look. Who knew? Greyson also had a brilliantly charismatic personality that left most people intrigued. He had hidden this part of himself at lunch. As I learned later, this bit of mystery was part of his charm, but it was not contrived in any way. It was just who he was—is.