A Case of Bier

by Mary Daheim

  Colbert’s aplomb was intact. “Brewster mentioned that Mrs. Flynn was the taller of you ladies. Thus I conclude that you’re Mrs. Bones.”

  “Sheesh!” Renie fell back on the seat and closed her eyes. “I quit.”

  Judith looked askance. “It’s Mrs. Jones,” she said, noting that despite Renie’s having shut her eyes, her mouth was set in a grim line. “It would be best not to further upset her. My cousin is very sensitive. Being involved in a homicide has profoundly disturbed her.”

  Colbert nodded, his face sympathetic. “Of course. Perhaps we should take her to your motel before I pose any further . . . distressing questions.”

  “Oh no,” Judith replied a bit too hastily. “She has an amazing coping mechanism when it comes to blocking out unpleasantness of any kind. What do you want to ask me?”

  “I understand you found the body,” Colbert said, lowering his voice despite Renie being only three feet away. “I’m sure that Sergeant Brewster’s notes are thorough and detailed, but with such a traumatic moment, one’s memory can play tricks. Is there anything that you may not have mentioned, but has resurfaced by now?”

  Judith felt it best to at least pause before answering. “No, I honestly can’t.” She knew what Renie was thinking: Seen one corpse, seen ’em all.

  “Very well.” The Mountie appeared satisfied. “Can you tell me anything about the bizarre plan to send the body down the Bow River on a raft?”

  “It was a bier,” Judith responded. “That was Mr. Stokes’s last request. Or so his family members told us.”

  Colbert looked somewhere above Judith’s head. “Bizarre,” he murmured, now giving the word a French twist. “That explains what the campers found.”

  “Campers?” Judith echoed.

  “Yes,” he replied. “Earlier today some campers from Manitoba found what they thought was a fancy sort of raft caught in some trees that were overhanging the river. Did you ever see this bier?”

  Judith nodded. “It was a very elegant bier. But has anyone reported finding a . . . body?”

  “No.” Colbert looked grim. “The family members insist the body has disappeared.”

  Judith wasn’t sure she should mention the telltale blanket in the Odells’ trunk. Colbert might find her reputation as FASTO lacking on the other side of the international border. To complicate matters, Adela and Norman were hurrying toward the cruiser.

  “Sir!” Adela cried. “Can you take us to headquarters so we can file a missing person’s report? We’d also like to get our car.”

  Colbert opened the door on the driver’s side. “Speak to Corporal Jeffries, please. His cruiser is behind that rather large tent. He’ll gladly escort you to our offices.”

  Adela nodded and Norman said thanks. The couple quickly moved away, though Adela grabbed her husband’s arm as if she needed support.

  “Poor folks,” Judith said under her breath. “I don’t blame them for being upset.”

  “Not a very pleasant visit to our country for them,” Colbert remarked. “Of course the situation is . . . unusual.”

  “Takes all kinds,” Renie suddenly said, her eyes now open. “Can we go now? I’m so hungry I could eat a chipmunk.”

  The Mountie’s aplomb seemed a trifle shaken. “Well . . . yes, I have no more questions. Thank you for your cooperation.”

  Renie had already opened the door on her side, but Judith hesitated. “I have a question of my own, Inspector. What brought you down to Banff on a Sunday?”

  Colbert’s steady gaze shifted ever so slightly. “A request from Customs and Immigration about one of the Stokes party’s members. I’m afraid it’s confidential.”

  “I see,” Judith said. “I hope this person isn’t . . . dangerous.”

  A faint smile played at Colbert’s mouth. “No. No, not at all. Enjoy the rest of your stay, ladies. You’ve nothing to fear.”

  Judith and Renie exchanged curious looks. But with a tip of his cap, the inspector got out of the cruiser.

  “Guess that means we can eat?” Renie asked hopefully.

  Judith nodded a bit vaguely. “Customs and Immigration,” she said softly. “I wonder what that’s all about.”

  “It’s about time for dinner,” Renie asserted in a crabby voice. “Let’s go get the car. I say we head to the Banff Springs Hotel. They’ve got so many restaurants that we shouldn’t have to wait. It’s almost eight o’clock.”

  Judith accepted the suggestion without comment. After exiting the cruiser, she tried to see what was going on at the Stokes encampment, where the younger Mountie was still talking to Ma and Pa Stokes. Colbert was standing off to one side, as if observing the interaction. It was tempting to join the inspector or at least get a closer, if discreet, look, but she was afraid Renie might take a bite out of her arm. In fact, her cousin was already heading for the rented SUV.

  Ten minutes later, they were at the hotel, where Renie went up to the front desk to ask which restaurant would have the earliest seating for two. The clerk wasn’t certain, but suggested the Bow Valley Grill.

  “That better be right,” Renie muttered, following the directions she’d been given. “If not, I’ll come back to the front desk and eat their reservation book.”

  “It’s probably on a computer,” Judith pointed out.

  “Then I’ll eat the computer. Bite the bytes.” She smirked. “That’s not bad for thinking on an empty stomach.”

  Judith didn’t comment. When they reached the restaurant, the hostess informed them that they could be seated immediately. Renie squealed with pleasure and practically ran up on the hostess’s heels as they followed her to a table.

  “We lucked out,” she said gleefully as she snatched up a menu.

  “Right.” Judith’s tone was vague.

  Renie’s brown eyes were riveted on the menu. “Good choices,” she murmured. “Meat or seafood. Which appeals to you, coz?”

  “What?” Judith hadn’t heard her cousin or looked at the menu, but was staring into space.

  “Okay,” Renie said, putting her menu aside. “What now?”

  Finally focusing, Judith sighed. “I’m wondering why we shouldn’t be afraid.”

  “Offhand,” Renie said, “I’d say that’s a good thing. I’m having the pan-seared trout. I’ll make this easy for you. Order the mac ’n’ cheese with salmon. It comes with an arugula salad and a charred garlic baguette.”

  “‘Charred’?” Judith suddenly stared at Renie. “Maybe they can’t find the body because it was burned.”

  “Oh, for . . .” Renie shook her head. “Can’t you take your mind off of murder while we eat delicious food in a comfortable atmosphere? This is a vacation.”

  Judith sighed. “Maybe for us, but not for the killer. Murder never takes a vacation.”

  Renie didn’t respond. This wasn’t the first getaway for the cousins that had included a corpse. “Okay, I get it,” she said. “According to Colbert, at least we should feel safe, even if I don’t know why.”

  “Because we aren’t part of the Stokes family?” Judith suggested. “That’s the only thing I can think of. What about the twins? Are they safe? No wonder Adela’s frantic.”

  “They may be of legal drinking age here, but they’re still teenagers. For all we know, Win and Winnie met up with some of their contemporaries and are partying. They seemed bored to me.”

  Judith was considering the suggestion when their server arrived to take their orders. “That’s possible,” she allowed after they were alone again. “But still . . .” She shook her head. “It doesn’t sound right.”

  “Stop fussing.” Renie sounded borderline severe. “I’d like to eat one meal without a reference to corpses. Okay?”

  Judith merely nodded and gazed at the restaurant’s calming, tasteful decor. Many of the diners were either readying to leave or had already gone while the cousins were talking. No doubt, Judith thought idly, they’d had seven o’clock reservations. Just after their salads arrived, she remarked that the Bow Valley
Grill must stop seating diners at nine, at least on a Sunday night.

  Renie agreed. “It’s a lot quieter in here now.”

  For the next minute or two, the cousins attended to their salads. Suddenly Judith gave a start.

  Renie stared. “What? Did you swallow an olive pit?”

  Judith shook her head. “I heard what sounded like a police siren, but it just stopped.”

  “So? Traffic violation. No taillights. Over the city’s speed limit. Drunk.” Renie forked in more potato salad.

  “It was only a short burst.” Judith tried to hear more sirens, but there weren’t any. “Weird.”

  Renie let out an exaggerated sigh. “The siren was in the town, right? So was the miscreant. You know neither vehicle could get involved in a high-speed chase because of the layout and all the traffic. Relax.”

  Judith felt foolish. “I guess I’m kind of edgy. We should’ve ordered drinks, but I didn’t want you passing out from starvation.”

  “That’s okay.” Renie smiled. “I’m no longer in danger of that. Here come our entrées. They look amazing.”

  And they were. Judith even managed to put away thoughts of homicide as she put away the salmon mac ’n’ cheese. They skipped dessert but ordered Galliano. By the time they left the hotel, it was almost nine thirty. Replete with excellent food and superb drink, they headed back to the motel. To their relief, they found that fresh towels had been provided. In a gracious mood, Judith rang the front desk. Niall answered. She asked if he was to work all night.

  “No,” he replied. “Nobody works the desk after midnight. We lock up until six in the morning. But guests can come and go any time. But you knew that, eh?”

  “I guess I did,” Judith responded. “Anyway, I wanted to tell you that we appreciate getting the towels and—”

  Niall cut her off. “Hold on. Call on the other line.”

  Renie saw Judith frown. “What?” she inquired.

  Judith shrugged. And waited. Renie headed for the bathroom. She was coming out when Niall returned to the phone.

  “Sorry,” he said, sounding shaken. “An emergency. A real emergency,” he added, his voice now cracking.

  “What is it?” Judith demanded. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes. No. That is . . . someone tried to kill Trixie at the hospital. I have to hang up now.”

  The line went dead.

  Chapter 17

  “Why would anyone want to kill Trixie?” a flabbergasted Renie asked, collapsing on the Flynns’ bed. “Could she be more harmless?”

  Judith also felt a little shaky. “The siren . . . I bet it was for her. The hospital is right by police headquarters.”

  “Yes,” Renie said softly, leaning back against the pillows. “Poor Trixie. First she gets dumped, then somebody tries to kill her. She should’ve stayed wherever she came from.”

  “I wonder where that was,” Judith murmured, after settling into one of the matching armchairs. “I don’t suppose they’d let us talk to her.”

  Renie looked skeptical. “Tonight?”

  Judith shook her head. “I doubt we’d be allowed to see her. I do wonder what the MO was.”

  “You think someone tried to poison her? I mean,” Renie quickly went on, “before she collapsed.”

  “Not likely.” Judith grimaced. “I’ve had enough experience with poisons to know they don’t usually produce hysteria. Do you remember when we were—”

  She was interrupted by her cell’s ring. Luckily, it was in her purse next to the chair. Judith answered on the second ring.

  “Is that you, Judith?” Arlene asked in an anxious voice.

  “Yes,” Judith replied. “You sound upset. What’s wrong?”

  “Well . . . it’s not exactly wrong,” Arlene said, “but it’s not quite right either. It’s your mother. I’m afraid . . .” She stopped; Carl’s voice could be heard in the background. “Yes, yes,” Arlene said, apparently to her husband. “But it’s too soon to call the police. And would you mind turning the channel to something I like, for a change? I’m sick of baseball. They stand around too much. If I wanted to watch statues, I’d go to a museum.” With an audible huff, she apparently remembered she was on the phone. “So sorry, Judith, but why must men watch so much baseball? The players do the same thing over and—”

  “Arlene!” Judith exclaimed. “What about Mother?”

  “Oh. Yes,” Arlene said. “Your mother and Aunt Deb went to have supper and play bridge at Sophie Savery’s condo on top of the hill. You know Sophie from church. She’s the one who sits in the back row and sometimes flosses her teeth. Except I think they’re dentures. Why can’t she just take them out and soak—”

  “Arlene, please,” Judith begged, trying to keep calm while Renie rolled over on the bed and winced a lot. “Tell me about Mother.”

  “That’s what I’m doing,” Arlene said reasonably. “Sophie picked your mother up at three thirty—she had your aunt Deb in the car—and told me she’d bring both of them home by eight or a little after. But now it’s after nine. I called Sophie and no one answers. You can see why I’m worried.”

  By reflex, Judith glanced at her watch. It was after ten, Alberta being on Mountain Time. “Have you or Carl gone to Sophie’s condo to see if they’re still there?”

  “No,” Arlene replied. “I don’t know which condo Sophie lives in. There are so many new ones around here and her phone’s unlisted. Your mother jotted down her number for me. I called Sophie, but she didn’t pick up.”

  Renie apparently had figured out the gist of Arlene’s call and sat up. “Missing mothers?” she whispered.

  Judith nodded and spoke into the phone. “Are you at the B&B or your house?”

  “We’re home,” Arlene replied testily. “You know our routine. As soon as everyone has checked in and the social hour is under way, we come back over here. I made sure we were home by seven because my cousin Avery was calling from Winona, Minnesota. They’re on Central Time, so it was nine there and he goes to bed at ten. Avery has to get up early to feed his monkey.”

  “Have you checked to make sure Mother hasn’t come home since you’ve been on the phone?”

  “I looked from upstairs just before I called and there wasn’t a light on in the toolshed,” Arlene said. “It gets dark earlier here now, you know.”

  “Yes, I do know,” Judith conceded. “We’ve only been gone for a few days.”

  “It seems much longer.” Arlene sounded grim.

  “Try calling Sophie again,” Judith urged. “She’s quite deaf, according to Mother. If she doesn’t answer, then—”

  “Hold on,” Arlene said. “There’s someone at the front door. I hope whoever it is hasn’t brought us bad news.” She emphasized the last two words with what sounded like a touch of relish.

  Judith figured that Arlene was in their living room, where she couldn’t see the front door. Exchanging curious looks with Renie, she shifted around in the chair. Her artificial hip was reminding her that it had been a long and arduous day. The next thing she heard from Arlene was her muffled voice, apparently talking to Carl.

  “Well!” she finally exclaimed. “Guess who that was?”

  Judith was in no mood to guess. “Who?”

  “Your mother. She brought our mail. Charles misdelivered it again yesterday. Wasn’t that sweet of—”

  Judith interrupted. “You mean Mother is safe?”

  “Of course,” Arlene assured her. “She shouldn’t have bothered coming over here after dark, but she told Carl that she was watching one of her favorite TV shows and had to wait until it was over. That’s why there wasn’t a light on in the toolshed. You know she doesn’t like to waste electricity. Carl’s walking her back home.”

  “Good,” Judith said in a tired voice. “I’ll hang up now. This call is costing you money.”

  “No, it’s not,” Arlene declared cheerfully. “I make these calls on your business landline. You do have a business license, Judith. It’s here in the kitchen. Anyway
s, I knew you’d want to know that nothing bad happened to your mother. Night-night.” She rang off.

  Renie shook her head. “Rankerized again.”

  Judith nodded vaguely. “Arlene and Carl really are wonderful people. What would I do without them?”

  “Good question.” Renie stared at Judith. “Well?”

  “Well what?”

  “Trixie,” Renie said. “Something was bothering you before Arlene called. Surely you aren’t going to settle in for the night until you find out what happened to her.”

  Judith didn’t respond right away. “You’re right.” She stood up. “Let’s go downstairs to see if Niall can talk to us.”

  Renie reluctantly got up from the bed. “Can or will?” she asked, following her cousin to the door.

  “He’d better,” Judith said.

  They didn’t speak again until they were in the lobby. Niall was behind the desk, looking less than his usual composed self as he sorted through what looked like receipts. He gave a start when Judith called his name.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked in a tone that suggested most things in his world had gone awry.

  Judith leaned against the desk. “Since we were with Trixie when she collapsed, we’re concerned about her. Were you serious when you said she’d been attacked?”

  Niall shoved the receipts aside and moved closer to the reception desk. “That’s what I heard from the nurse who called to find out if Trixie had any family around here. As far as I know, she doesn’t. Poor kid.” He shook his head.

  “Do you know why she became so distraught?”

  Niall shook his head. “Not really. I was giving an older couple directions to the golf course. They were both quite deaf and I had to shout. The phone rang just as Trixie came up to the desk, so I told her to answer it. By the time I finished helping the oldsters, she’d hung up and was rushing off somewhere. That was the last I saw of her.”

  “Did she seem upset?”

  “Maybe. I guess.” Niall rubbed his jawline. “She’s kind of an emotional person, as you might’ve noticed.”

  Judith nodded. “Have you checked her belongings? There might be some contact information in there. In fact, she didn’t have her purse with her when she collapsed. It’s probably in the room.”