I Will Follow You

by E. L. Todd

  “You’re over her?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. When you love someone, are you ever really over them? You always feel something different for them no matter how much time has passed. If she called me and asked me for help, even a year from now, I’d be there for her. But I don’t miss her anymore.”

  Dad drank from his water. “Have you been with anyone else?”

  “I met this girl at a bar but nothing happened. I walked her home then changed my mind about going inside.”

  “And why did you change your mind?” he asked calmly.

  “It just didn’t feel right.”

  “Perhaps you’ve outgrown the one-night stand scene. Now that you’ve been in a serious relationship and understand what it’s like, you want that again. But obviously, with a different person.”

  “No.” I said it without hesitation. “I don’t want anything serious. It’s just a bunch of work. With Beatrice, it was me who was constantly making her feel good. Women want a guy that will bend over backwards to accommodate them. They want someone to kiss the ground they walk on. I’m sick of that bullshit. Women want to be considered equal, so they should equally partake in a relationship.”

  “Not all relationships are like that, Conrad. Your mother does stuff for me all the time. They don’t have to be big things, either.” He cleared his throat. “Whenever I come from work, she gives me this look with her eyes like she’s been waiting for me all day. She always cooks dinner for me and tries to make things I like. When we watch TV, she rubs my back and asks me about my day. When I’m sick, she takes care of me. When I feel like shit, she makes me feel better. I may support her and put food on the table, but she equally contributes to the relationship. Not all relationships are one-sided like yours.”

  “Well, you’re just lucky.”

  He smirked. “I’m very lucky.”

  “Roland is smart. He stays away from serious relationships and has never expressed any interest in having one. He just live his life, taking it one day at a time.”

  “He’ll settle down eventually.”

  “Doubtful,” I said.

  “Trinity settled down and she’s very happy.”

  I watched the TV.

  “She and Slade are really different, but they’re definitely equal. Slade treats her well but tells her when she’s wrong. She does the exact same thing to him. They’re a perfect example of an equal partnership.”

  “Well, they are one of the few.”

  “What about Skye and Cayson?” he asked. “They are so equal that they sacrifice their own happiness for the other person.”

  “Well, they were meant to be together since they were five.”

  “Conrad, you’ll have a love like theirs one day, but it will be better. Just wait for it.”

  “That’s the thing,” I said. “I don’t want to wait for it. I don’t want it at all.”

  ***

  “How are you doing?” Theo asked when I got home.

  “I’m okay.” I looked around at the messy apartment. “Alex is really gone, huh?”

  “I miss her too,” he said sadly. “I asked her to stay but she said she wanted her own place.”

  “I understand that.” I grabbed a beer then sat at the kitchen table.

  “I’ve never liked clingy girls but I wish Alex would be a more clingy with me.” He released a sarcastic laugh. “It’s ironic.”

  “She strikes me as the kind of person that associates need with weakness.”

  He clanked his beer against mine. “You hit the nail right on the head, my friend.”

  I drank my beer then set it down.

  “How’s your dad?”

  “He’s good,” I said. “Just sitting at home.”

  “His arm?”

  “The cast is coming off soon,” I said. “Then he’ll start physical therapy.”

  “That’s cool,” he said. “Good for him.”

  “I think I’m going to ask him if I can be the new CEO.”

  Theo paused before he drank his beer. “Any reason why?”

  “I just think it’s something I should do.”

  “Something you should do? Or something you want to do?”

  “Both,” I answered. “I’ve been really immature my entire life. I’m not responsible and I’m not really a man. Almost losing my dad made me realize that. I want to be more like him, strong like him.”

  “You don’t have to be a CEO to prove that.”

  “No, I don’t. But I want it.”

  “You’ll be working with Skye…”

  “I like Skye,” I said. “She’ll be easy to work with.”

  “Well, I support you no matter what. I just hope you are doing it for the right reasons.”

  “I think I am,” I said.

  “So…Beatrice is history?”

  “Beatrice who?” I drank my beer.

  He dropped the subject. “We’re making good money now. Should we get our own places?”

  I shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t mind living with you, but I’m sure you and Alex want your privacy.”

  “I’m sure you want yours too,” he said.

  I shrugged, knowing there were no girls in my life.

  A knock on the door made us both turn.

  “Alex?” I asked.

  “No.” Theo shook his head.

  I looked through the peephole and came face-to-face with Stan, Beatrice’s father. I’d been dodging his calls for a while. When he stopped calling me, I assumed he took the hint. “Can you give me some privacy, man?”

  Theo nodded then walked into his bedroom.

  I opened the door and stared at him. “Hey, Stan. How are you?” He didn’t do anything to me so I had no reason to be rude to him.

  “Not well,” he said bluntly.

  “How can I help you?”

  “Beatrice came to me…we talked.”

  That was the last thing I expected. “I’m glad to hear that. I’d always hoped you would reconcile.”

  He nodded. “I’m very happy. She doesn’t trust me and she certainly doesn’t love me, but she’s willing to give me a chance. She listened to my side of the story but she keeps her distance. But I’ll gladly take it over nothing.”

  “That’s great.” It was sadly ironic that Beatrice figured this out because we broke up, not because we were together. But at least some good came out of it.

  “I think you know why I’m here,” he said with a sigh.

  I was drawing a blank. “Actually, I don’t.”

  “Beatrice told me what happened between you. She’s pretty upset.”

  I was upset for three months but she didn’t care.

  “I know you love my daughter…please give her another chance.”

  I didn’t want to have this conversation with her father, or anyone, for that matter. “She and I talked about it but nothing can be done.”

  “Yes, there can,” he said firmly.

  “Stan, with all due respect, I simply don’t feel the same way about Beatrice as I used to. I was depressed over her for three months, and she never once came to me and apologized. She took too long.”

  “She’s very stubborn—”

  “And I don’t want a stubborn woman,” I said firmly. “My dad almost passed away, and its opened my eyes. I’m looking for a relationship that makes me happy, where she cares about my joy as much as I care about hers. While I loved Beatrice, it was definitely a one-way street.”

  “I understand that,” he said. “But she was in a dark place.”

  “We all go through times of trial,” I said. “It’s what we decide to do during those times that define us. Beatrice chose to push me away when all I ever did was try to help her. If she couldn’t see that, then she never knew me at all. I’m sorry, Stan. I don’t say these things to be mean or out of spite. I say them because it’s how I feel. If I went back to her, I would never be happy again. We’re done—for good.”

  He stared at the floor for a moment before he met my gaze agai
n. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “I am too.”

  “I really like you, Conrad.”

  I nodded, unsure what to say. “Beatrice is beautiful and smart. Now that she’s putting her past behind her, I’m sure she’ll be happy again. And I’m sure any guy would kill just to touch her hand—like I did. Don’t worry about her.”

  He pulled out his wallet then handed me a check.

  I eyed it then turned to him. “What’s this?”

  “Beatrice told me you paid her loans. I’m paying you back for that.”

  I stared at the check and didn’t take it. “It was a gift. I don’t want the money.”

  “She’s not your responsibility. I’ve always wanted to give her the money. Please take it.”

  I pushed it back. “I don’t want to be with her again but I don’t regret what we had. I don’t want it. But thank you.”

  He sighed then returned it to his wallet. “Well, take care, Conrad. I hope I see you around.”

  “You too, Stan.” I extended my hand to shake his.

  He took it. “Whoever ends up with you is a lucky girl.”

  “And whoever ends up with your daughter is a very lucky man.” I meant it. If she ever came to a place in her life where she could truly love someone without doubt, then they were very lucky indeed.

  ***

  When I went to Dad’s, he was sitting on the couch like usual.

  “Looking good,” I said when I walked inside.

  “Thanks, son.”

  I gave his free hand a high-five.

  “You’re in a good mood.”

  I didn’t say why. Stan gave me closure with Beatrice. Our relationship finally didn’t make me feel bitter. I was glad Beatrice was reconciling with her father. It’s what I wanted for a long time. “It’s a beautiful day.”

  He eyed me then spoke. “Mom is making tacos.”

  “Sweet.”

  “And your sister is coming.”

  “Yuck.”

  He chuckled. “And Slade too.”

  “Well, that’s a little better.”

  “How was your day?” he asked.

  “Well. Yours?”

  He shrugged. “I didn’t have to work and I got to sit around all day while your mother waited on me hand and foot. And my brother is working his ass off in my stead. It was a very good day.”

  I laughed. “At least you’re enjoying this.”

  “I should get hurt more often.”

  “Don’t say that again!” Mom yelled from the kitchen.

  A guilty look overcame his face.

  “I wanted to talk to you about something before Trinity and Slade get here.”

  “I’m all ears, son.”

  “I changed my mind about the executive position for PIXEL.”

  He regarded me for a long time, studying my face. “Really?”

  “Yeah.”

  “May I ask why?”

  “I just think it’s what I should do,” I said. “I’m ready to grow up.”

  “You’ve been grown up for a while,” he said quietly.

  “Not really,” I said honestly. “I think graduating college, living on my own, having a failed relationship, and almost losing my father has really given me some perspective. I want to be more responsible—like you.”

  He rested his free arm on the back of the couch. “I’m glad you aren’t holding my mistake against me forever.”

  “It’s a small mistake in comparison to all you’ve accomplished and have done for your family.”

  Emotion burned in his eyes but he didn’t give voice to it. “I appreciate that, Conrad.”

  I nodded then looked away.

  “Obviously, if you want the company it’s yours. It’s what I always wanted.”

  I stared at my hands.

  “But is it really what you want?” he questioned.

  I nodded. “It is.”

  “You’ll be working with Skye—every day.”

  “I don’t mind—as long as she’s willing to share the floor.”

  “I’m sure she won’t mind,” he said. “And Sean will be happy.”

  “When you’re feeling better, we’ll talk to them about it.”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  Trinity and Slade walked inside, holding stacks of magazines and binders. “We’re here!”

  “We can see you,” I said.

  “I’m letting Mom know,” Trinity said. She walked into the living room and put all the magazines on the coffee table.

  “What’s this?” I asked.

  “Wedding planning,” Trinity said excitedly.

  When Trinity wasn’t looking, Slade acted like he shot himself in the head.

  Dad and I both chuckled.

  “Why are you laughing?” Trinity asked.

  Dad just shrugged in response.

  She turned around and looked at Slade.

  Slade acted like he was admiring his watch.

  She growled then turned back to her stack of magazines. “Okay, so we’re going to book the vineyard.”

  “Have you seen it?” I asked Slade.

  Slade sat beside Trinity. “No.”

  “Take him first before you book it,” Dad said.

  “I really don’t care,” Slade said. “We could get married at Chuck E. Cheese’s and I’d be fine with that.”

  “You do care,” Trinity said. “I know you do.”

  “I really don’t,” Slade repeated.

  “Don’t you want your wedding to be beautiful?” Trinity demanded.

  “Baby, I’m marrying you,” Slade said. “And that’s the only beautiful thing I care about.”

  She looked at him with warm eyes then backed off. “Okay, we need to pick out the center pieces…”

  “Uh, are you asking us to participate in this?” I asked.

  “Why else would I be here?” Trinity asked.

  “Are you trying to torture Dad because he can’t get away?” I teased.

  “Dad wants to be involved,” Trinity said. “Right, Dad?”

  “Of course, sweetheart,” Dad said.

  I knew he was lying but I didn’t call him out on it.

  “Let’s talk about those tigers,” Slade said. “Do we import them from India or what?”

  Trinity looked like she wanted to scratch his eyes out. “First of all, tigers are from China, not India. And no, we aren’t having tigers at all.”

  “Whoa…tigers?” I asked. “Where’s this coming from?”

  “It was Dad’s idea,” Slade said.

  “No, it wasn’t!” Trinity’s eyes were wide. “He was kidding.”

  “Then can we have panthers or something?” Slade asked.

  “No animals,” she shrieked.

  “How about scorpions?” Slade asked. “They can slip the ring onto your finger with their huge claws.”

  “They’d be sick!” I said.

  Trinity covered her face. “No!”

  “What if there are snakes hanging from the trees?” I said.

  Slade pointed at me. “A bunch of cobras!”

  Trinity turned to Dad. “Help me.”

  He shrugged but smiled at the same time. “Sweetheart, you wanted to marry him.”

  Trinity turned to Slade. “I already let your dad be in the wedding. You can’t have animals too.”

  “Wait, Ryan is in the wedding?” Dad asked.

  “He’s one of my groomsmen,” Slade explained.

  I cocked an eyebrow. “You can do that?”

  Slade shrugged. “It’s my wedding.”

  “Why is he in your wedding?” Dad asked.

  “He’s my best friend.” Slade said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

  Dad gave him a grin. “It seems like you argue a lot.”

  “It doesn’t mean anything,” Slade said. “We just tease each other.” He turned to me. “By the way, you want to be one of my groomsmen?”

  “I get a choice?” I said.

  “No,” Trini
ty said. “You’re in it, Conrad.”

  “Gosh darn,” I said as I snapped my fingers.

  “Who’s your best man?” Dad asked.

  “Cayson,” Slade said immediately. “Even if I had a brother, I’d still pick him. And I’m going to ask Arsen too.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “The guy who went to prison?”

  “He’s out now and he’s been talking to Silke,” Slade said. “They aren’t together but I can tell they’re going to get married. My sister is just being complicated about it.”

  When did all this happen?

  “So, who’s all in it?” Dad asked.

  Trinity started to count on her fingers. “Cayson, Ryan, Conrad, Arsen, Roland, and Theo.”

  “Good group,” Dad said. “What about you, Trinity?”

  “Silke and Skye,” she answered.

  “That’s it?” I questioned. “You need to get more friends.”

  She glared at me. “Skye is my best friend and I do everything with her. And Silke is a good friend. I don’t need anyone else.”

  I shot Slade a look. “Good luck with her.”

  “You’re forgetting someone,” Slade said.

  “Who?” Trinity asked.

  “Me,” he said. “Aren’t I your best friend?” He had a serious look on his face.

  She melted right before his eyes. “Of course, you are. But you can’t be one of my bridesmaids.”

  “Oh.” He looked like he was thinking. “And you can’t be one of my groomsmen?”

  Trinity didn’t snap at him because she knew Slade had no idea how weddings worked. She seemed amused by his ignorance than annoyed. “No, unfortunately.”

  “Hmm…” He rubbed his chin then shrugged.

  “Dinner is ready,” Mom announced from the kitchen.

  “Can we eat here?” Trinity asked.

  Mom always made us eat in the kitchen but since Dad didn’t move much it was easier just to have dinner in the living room.

  “Okay,” she called. She brought all the food into the living room then sat beside Dad.

  I took a bite of my food. “This is good, Mom.”

  “I could eat ten of these,” Slade said as he shoveled food into his mouth.

  Trinity picked at her food like a bird, like usual.