Instacrush (A Rookie Rebels Novel)

by Kate Meader

“Elle …”

  “Also, people throw baby showers at the end of the second trimester not in the middle of it. Why aren’t we waiting until the season is over?”

  Theo stopped the car about half way up the drive, the same drive they’d entered about an hour ago and had still not completed. Ludicrous.

  He turned to her and took her face between his hands. She loved when he used his strength like that—to protect, to soothe, but mostly to tell her to calm the fuck down. How had it come to this, where Theo Kershaw was the one displaying all the Zen?

  “First, they want to celebrate us getting to the conference finals for the first time in four years. That’s huge! Also Violet’s a little further along so the timing makes sense to her. And finally, Ellie, my sweet, they are including you because they love me. This isn’t about you at all, so quit being so self-centered.”

  “Oh, shut up.” She giggled, loving that he always knew the perfect way to cap her crazy.

  He leaned in to kiss her, soft at first, then deeper, sexier.

  “Besides, you’ll be getting another one when Aurora and the Tarts give you a baby shower back in Saugatuck.”

  “Which would be all for you as well,” she muttered.

  “You’re going to have to face it. I’m the popular one. The fun parent. You have your good points but you’ll always fade in the spotlight of my sun.” He grinned and nuzzled her nose. “But seriously, isn’t it kind of nice to be the center of attention?”

  “Nice for you.”

  “These are good people who want to get to know you better. There’s new life being created, new hope for the team, new futures being crafted. Let’s celebrate the fact that we’re alive on this earth, our baby is healthy, and it’s a glorious spring day.”

  How could she object to a single word out of his mouth? Seeing the world through Theo’s rose-tinted viewpoint was a revelation. It was impossible not to feel hopeful around him.

  To feel more.

  “There’d better be a chocolate fountain.”

  “That’s my girl.”

  There was a chocolate fountain all right. And balloons. And party favors shaped like teddy bears. Not to mention an entire roster of burly hockey dudes looking like they wished they were anywhere but there.

  Most of the women present had already birthed a couple of kids—and they had stories.

  Sore breasts. Cracked nipples. Ripped vaginas. Pooping at the wrong time in the wrong place, usually when doing your utmost to expel a seven-pound bowling ball from your body.

  Theo’s rosy-eyed view underwent some dark tinting as the afternoon wore on. Pris Perez held the men in horrified thrall as she recounted in excruciating detail the birth of her second child.

  Then she brought out the video.

  Granted, the evidence wasn’t funny but the effect was magnificent. These tough, battle-hardened men, who had lost teeth and dislocated shoulders and suffered kicks in soft places, all looked positively green at the gills.

  “The miracle of birth,” Violet murmured, placing her arm though Elle’s and leading her away. Theo was too involved in the horror-around-a-campfire to even notice.

  “Thanks for including me,” Elle said to Violet for at least the fifth time.

  “Are you kidding? You’re doing me a huge favor. Harper is driving me up the wall and Izzy’s useless because she hasn’t got a maternal bone in her body. I need someone who understands.”

  “Doesn’t Harper have three kids?” Gorgeous, blond daughters all under the age of four.

  “Hatched in a tube.”

  “Really?”

  “No, not really, but I should start a rumor. Harper does everything perfectly so all the births were less than three hours and each kid slid out singing arias and performing ballets. I just know this one is going to be trouble.” She rubbed her stomach. “Look at their fathers. All that drama.”

  Elle’s gaze landed on Cade and Dante, who were busy listening intently to one of Harper’s Stepford children and not being dramatic in the slightest. “So which one is it?”

  “We don’t know. It’s a Tex-Italian mix with my Boricua egg. The kid’s already so far ahead of the game.” She picked up a marshmallow and dipped it in the chocolate, then pointed at the bracelet on Elle’s wrist. “That’s pretty.”

  “Thanks. From Theo.”

  “That guy is such a sweetheart. Quite the front.”

  “Front?”

  Violet’s smile held for a brief moment while she decided if Elle was worthy of her confidence.

  “I find it hard to believe that anyone who plays like he does, with all that aggression, doesn’t have a bit more going on.”

  Elle had seen other sides to Theo, humanizing sides that revealed him to be more than a sexy doofus drama queen. “Everyone’s got more going on,” she muttered in his defense.

  “Yeah, they do,” Violet said pointedly. “You know, if you ever feel you need to talk about what’s bothering you, I’m here for you. We all are.”

  Elle swallowed her surprise. In all this time while she was watching other people, she hadn’t realized that someone might be watching her.

  “I don’t want to hurt him,” she said quietly. “I think I have the capacity to do that.” As always when she thought about the ways people could hurt each other, her parents took pole position in her brain. She looked around, wondering where they were. It wasn’t like them to miss out on a chance of free booze and mingling with the upper echelons.

  She’d thought they were the true threat, but no. Theo knew what they could do—or enough—and he was still as optimistic as ever. It was all too perfect. So now, in typical Elle style, she was waiting for the next disaster to strike.

  “Maybe just let yourself be happy for a while,” Violet said. “You’ve earned it.”

  Elle looked over to Theo who was laughing at something Erik had said, but seemed to sense she was looking his way. He caught her eye and squinted enough to ask her if she was okay.

  She smiled. Because maybe … she was?

  Harper appeared, looking harried. “Ladies, time for a game.”

  “Do we have to?” Violet whined, then winked at Elle.

  “This is a fun one.” Harper rushed off, calling out, “Couples assemble!”

  “Oh, God,” Violet muttered.

  The next few minutes were spent convening couples for the diaper game as Harper termed it. (The poopy game, according to Violet.) The goal was to see who could “diaper” a baby using cloth diapers and safety pins in the shortest time without piercing the poor infant. As using actual infants was considered too risky, balloons were substituted.

  And it had to be done blindfolded.

  Up first were Remy, Cade, and Theo. As his trusty assistant, Elle tied a bandana around Theo’s eyes. “This is giving me some fun ideas,” she murmured against Theo’s chin as she knotted the fabric.

  “Would prefer not to do this with a hard-on, you witch.”

  She giggled, then led him to the table. The partner was supposed to guide the diapering party to success, advising what to fold and where to put it. Elle thought it would be more fun to lead her man astray, but he caught onto her game quickly and generally forged ahead doing the opposite.

  “GO, BABY BOY!” Aurora was on hand to be the support Elle wasn’t.

  A heart-stopping pop twenty seconds in signaled that Cade had pricked his poor spawn, who now lay in ragged remnants of latex.

  “Cade’s meat hook hands have been his downfall,” Elle said excitedly. “You can do this, Theo!”

  “If only I had a baby mama who was helpful,” he quipped.

  Remy’s years as a stay-at-home-dad came in useful as he expertly set about wrapping and pinning the balloon, including the addition of diaper rash cream—show off—without blowing it up.

  “Come on, Theo, you’re neck and neck with Remy!” He wasn’t, but she figured it was her job to encourage. Better late than never.

  Remy completed the task before Theo could get his balloo
n into position. And there was a sentence she never imagined she’d be thinking or saying.

  “And the winner is Remy!” Harper cheered as she made the announcement then whipped off Remy’s blindfold.

  “All that practice,” he said, kissing her sweetly. “Makes me think it might be time to make more.”

  The crowd roared their approval while Harper blushed to the roots of her blond hair. “If we win the Cup … maybe.”

  Theo removed his blindfold and peeked at the diaper supplies. “So close.” Not close at all, but the man lived and breathed optimism. “Beaten by the old timer.”

  Remy nudged him with his shoulder. “This old timer can teach you a thing or two, Kershaw, on and off the ice.” He winked at Elle. “You need any childcare services, Ellie, just drop your little one off with our brood. I can change diapers in my sleep.”

  “Oh, that’s kind of you.” They were all so generous that for a moment, Elle was overcome. Also, another person calling her Ellie. This was her new life. A new Elle. Maybe she could trust that it was real.

  Theo held up the blindfold. “Let’s see how you do with the balloon.” He lowered his voice and added, “Or without it.”

  “Or we could just open presents?” Violet commented with perfect timing.

  Theo’s eyes lit up. “Presents? I love presents.”

  “They’re for the baby, Kershaw,” Harper chimed in as she click-clacked by.

  Elle laughed. “Same difference.”

  She wondered how the gift-giving would work for Violet, given that she wasn’t keeping the baby. But people had been thoughtful with their presents, many of them for her instead of the kid, so she wouldn’t feel left out. Spa packages, foot rubs, that kind of thing.

  “Oh, this one’s for Baby Kershaw!” Violet passed over a wrapped gift—the first of many.

  Elle spent the next fifteen minutes ripping open packages, each one bringing tears to her eyes. Teethers, pacifiers, plush toys, onesies (Rebels and Cubs editions—love!), a car seat, a stroller, a white noise machine, more onesies, bibs—you name it, someone had bought it.

  She swiped at her eyes. “I can’t believe this. It’s too much. Really.”

  Theo examined everything with the curiosity of a little kid, even going so far as to try on the cool baby carrier for a dad. Cade had drawn a face on Theo’s unpopped balloon and slipped it into the cradle.

  “What do you think?”

  That I’m the luckiest girl alive. “That you’ve never looked hotter.”

  His eyes darkened with desire and he moved in closer. “Me and my balloon baby are doing it for you?” His strong arms wrapped her up in the best hug she’d ever received. She didn’t come from huggers. Neither was the army touchy-feely but apparently hockey players and their crew were.

  “You’re much too nice to me,” she said with a sniff.

  “I have my reasons.”

  “You do?”

  “Sure,” he murmured. “I love you.”

  She could feel her eyes widening in shock, shifting to see if anyone had heard or if a hole had opened in the ground. No one was paying attention to them and the world was still turning. “You-you what?”

  He kissed her softly and whispered, “You slay me, Ellie Butler. And I love you.” When she still didn’t say anything, he frowned. “You okay?”

  No! She was not okay. She was bowled over by Theo’s unvarnished honesty. Of course she loved him, too, but she couldn’t say it here. It was too private, and an admission like that needed all her focus. “I—uh, thank you?”

  His smile could stop wars. “Sure. Any time.” As easy as that, but then that was Theo. He had no problem with annoying things like feelings. He cast a look around. “Any chance we could slip away?”

  Her phone buzzed with an incoming text. “Hold that thought. It’s from my mom.”

  Duty calls. Headed out.

  That was cryptic. She stepped outside to the patio and dialed.

  Her mother picked up. “Eloise!”

  “Hi, Mom. So the baby shower is practically over. Are you going to make it?”

  “I’m afraid not. Something’s come up.”

  Elle bit her lip. “Something? You mean a job?”

  “There’s always a job, my love. But it’s probably better if we’re not around for a while. You know how it is.”

  She lifted her gaze to Theo, who had followed her out and was watching her carefully.

  “Better for who? What’s happened? Will you be back when the baby’s born?”

  “If that’s what you want,” her mother said vaguely, though it was clear that Elle’s wants would never be paramount here. “But who knows where we’ll be? I wouldn’t want to make a promise I can’t keep.”

  No, promises weren’t the Butlers’ currency. A chill crept through her veins. Always a job, always a score. But there was something else. Something she both knew and didn’t.

  Before Elle could question that further, the line went dead.

  29

  “Everything okay?”

  Theo had seen the look on Elle’s face when she got that text. He had his suspicions and now he had to deal with the fallout.

  “My parents have left town.”

  “Okay.”

  Her lips tightened. “You don’t have something to say about that?”

  Oh, he had plenty to say. “Did they say why?”

  “No, but they’ve never been ones for pesky details. I just thought—”

  “That this time it was different?”

  She cut him a sharp look. “I know I haven’t painted them as perfect but you don’t seem surprised.”

  “Because I’m not.” He stepped in close, his hands on her upper arms. “I offered money and they took it.”

  Her eyes flashed. “Of course they did! It’s like giving drugs to a junkie. They’re addicted to the score and they think they’ve scored huge with you.”

  “You can’t trust them, Ellie. They’re only here because of what you can give them.”

  “I know that! But you didn’t have to do it. They would have been fine if you hadn’t … tested them!”

  “Tested them? Come on, it didn’t take much. Your dad came to me with some cock and bull story about your mother needing an operation. I thought these people were pros. It was an insult to my intelligence.”

  She opened her mouth to respond, but he wasn’t finished.

  “Their presence isn’t good for you. I’ve seen how you change around them, how much they stress you out. You didn’t want to fix it so I did. They think they’ve scored, and now they’re on their way to the next scheme. Tell me what I did wrong, Elle.”

  Nothing. He’d protected what was his. He’d seen a threat and eliminated it.

  “You did nothing wrong except waste your money. Because they’ll be back.”

  She sounded so jaded. So sad. He hated seeing her hurt but he had zero regrets about his decision.

  “Maybe. Maybe not.”

  “Oh, because you told them to stay away? I could’ve handled them, Theo. They might not be the best people but you said it was my call.”

  He didn’t want to have to explain but it was better she knew now. A short, sharp blow instead of long-enduring pain. “They took the money, Elle. They couldn’t wait to leave.”

  “Because you told them to go. You made that a condition.” Immediately she realized her error. “You didn’t make that a condition, did you? They hit you up, got the cash, and left anyway.”

  “Ellie,” Theo said softly. “I’m sorry they let you down. I’m sorry it came to this.”

  Her face turned blank, taking on an inexpressiveness he’d thought he would never see again. He wanted New Ellie back, the woman who lit up in shock when he told her he loved her five minutes ago.

  “You did what you had to for … for the baby.”

  “And for you.”

  “Because we’re a package deal. I get it.”

  Her tone made him uneasy. “You’re upset, and this is e
xactly why it’s best they’re not here.”

  “Well, you made sure of that.”

  “Elle. Your father spun some story about your mother being sick. Your sister almost conned someone into marrying her. And don’t tell me that financial services firm isn’t a front for worse stuff. I asked Tommy to look into them some more as soon as they showed up.”

  Her face tightened with pain. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “I was waiting for you to tell me more. To tell the truth.”

  “I never lied.”

  “But you didn’t come completely clean, either. Not entirely. What about that Preston guy? You were engaged to him and it fell through.”

  Tommy had dug a little deeper, made a few more calls. Preston Carter claimed he had a lucky escape and had avoided a shakedown when he broke his engagement with Elle. He’d stopped short of blaming Elle but the doubts were there.

  “That was … that was a long time ago.” She rubbed her forehead. “Wait, do you think I tried to scam him? That’s not what happened.”

  Theo didn’t care about this Preston dude. Elle had been young, still under her family’s malign influence. He knew she’d grown, become her own person. But with her family hovering, looking for any way to latch onto a steady source of income, he couldn’t be sure, if it came down to the wire, that she’d choose him.

  He needed her to choose him.

  “I don’t care what happened with that guy, Elle. All I care about is the future. Our future. So you didn’t tell me everything. It doesn’t matter. I know everything now.”

  She looked at him like he was a fool. “Like that makes it okay. Like that fixes everything.”

  He crossed his arms. “Sunlight is the best disinfectant. Secrets tear people apart and I don’t want that dynamic with anyone in my life.”

  “I kept it from you to protect you, Theo. So you wouldn’t have to wallow in the dirt with them, and now look at you—you’re commissioning background checks and buying off scammers. All you had to do was say no to them. People say no to them all the time.”

  “You don’t. You say yes because you can’t stand up to them. Or hat least not tall enough to protect yourself, even now when you have someone else to think of. All this time you’ve thought nothing had to change. That you can manage everything—the baby, a job, your parents, me. Well, things had to change. You can’t use the same strategies as before. It’s a new game.”