Instacrush (A Rookie Rebels Novel)

by Kate Meader

  She rubbed her stomach. “We haven’t missed a home game of the playoffs yet.”

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  “Yes, I’m fine. Well, not fine. I’m a complete dummy but physically I’m fine. The baby’s fine.” She took his hand and placed it over her swelling belly. It felt like coming home. “Hatch has started moving, usually when I’m asleep. Not now, though, because he knows we’re waiting for him.”

  She was babbling which wasn’t like Elle at all. He loved that she was nervous.

  “You played so well tonight. I didn’t understand everything that was going on but I could tell you were killing it, Kershaw. I could tell …” She snatched a breath. “I could tell you were doing everything you could to make me and the baby proud.”

  “Elle, I know you’re here to honor my wishes. I’m so grateful, and I—I don’t expect anything else from you. I’ve bossed you around enough. You’re your own person and as much as I love you, I can’t make you feel the same way.”

  She curled her small hand into his large one. “No, you can’t, Theo. I don’t think I could ever do your love for me justice. I’m not good at it. I’m not good at trusting people, which is really the first step to falling in love, isn’t it? And if I can’t get past that first step, then how can I get to the most important part? Where I open my heart and let someone as amazing as you in?”

  It took a lot to make Theo speechless. How could he fix this? Tell her they’d get there in time? That he had love enough for both of them? He suspected that wouldn’t fly here. All he could do was stare, willing her to meet him halfway, hoping that she could take this first step. That it wasn’t the last one.

  “You see, people learn how to relate to others from the first important people they meet,” she said. “Their role models. We’ll do that for Hatch. We’ll do our best to get him off to a great start. You had that with Aurora but I didn’t have that with my people. My parents created a blueprint I’ve been following for most of my life—not a great one as you can imagine—and I needed to do a gut rehab of those ingrained behaviors, a complete overhaul of me. Find a better blueprint. That’s what I’ve been working on. Giving back. Making up. Surrounding myself with excellent people. And then I met you: a good, kind, patient man.”

  “I’m not that good or kind. As for patient, definitely not.”

  She laughed. “You have no idea how wonderful you are, Theo. From the second you found out I was pregnant, you’ve behaved like an absolute gent. You’ve treated me with respect and showed me what it means to be in a truly balanced relationship. Balance is so important to me. I thought it would always be uneven between us because you have money and I don’t. You’re incredibly hot and I’m, well, not. My heart’s a closed fist and yours is an open border. I didn’t think we could ever meet in the middle, that there would always be one-upmanship and disappointment because one of us holds all the cards.

  “I told myself we could never work because I was toxic and would hurt you. But mostly I was terrified of the power you hold over me. I was afraid that loving you would make me feel weak. I couldn’t envision the strength that it could give me, because I didn’t think I deserved it. I love you so much, Theo, and it’s not as much fun as it should be!”

  He pulled her close and dipped his forehead to hers. “Fun? We haven’t even started yet. But you’ve got to trust I love you completely. My heart’s yours, Elle. Only yours.”

  “I want to. I want to learn to love with such openness. I want you to show me.”

  “Isn’t that a Foreigner song?”

  She clasped a hand to her forehead. “Oh, God, it is! I can’t even get my love declaration right without scamming somebody’s lyrics.”

  “There you go being too hard on yourself. I know what you mean. I know what’s in here.” He touched his fingertips to the top of her breast, knowing her heart was lower but determined not to take advantage by copping a feel.

  Not yet, anyway.

  “You’re new to this love game, Ellie. I’m pretty good at it, like a lot of things, but I could always be better. I’ve been holding on to some stuff, with my dad, my mom. Not trusting you’ll want to stick around. Not trusting you to make the right decisions when I know you’re an adult and you’ve got this. I know you were only trying to help your sister and I shouldn’t have gotten so angry about it. I just want to be the person you turn to when you’re in trouble. I want to be your shelter, your rock, your partner, your everything.”

  “I want that, too. I thought I was burdening you with my problems. My parents were bad enough but here was one more ask from my screwed-up family. Handling it alone seemed like the best but you’re right—we work better as a team. I’ve felt alone for so long and to have someone as wonderful as you open your arms and heart to me? To want to navigate this rocky road with me? It’s kind of overwhelming.”

  He got that. “I know I can be over the top. But you excite me so much. Our life and all the potential there excites the hell out of me. Doesn’t it excite you?”

  She wiped away a tear. “It does. Oh, God, Theo, every minute with you is epic.”

  Perfect. “Let’s learn from each other, then. Let’s take this epic journey together.”

  “Are you sure? I know the baby complicates things—”

  “No, it doesn’t. The baby brought us together but we are more than just co-parents. The baby doesn’t define our relationship. We do. I don’t love you because you’re carrying my kid. I love you because you are Elle Butler, the woman who laughed at my dino-briefs and still wanted to have sex with me. The girl who makes me mad and horny and hungry, often in the same sixty seconds. The person I want to share dumb videos and dad jokes with, who I want to see every morning and night. That’s you. All mine. Baby’s a bonus. You’re the prize.”

  Her eyes shone with emotion. She clutched his shoulders and kissed him, so sweet and hot. “Thank you for helping Amy and Jackson. I never got a chance to say that.”

  “You’re welcome. I will move mountains and swim oceans to make things right for you and the people you love.”

  “I appreciate that. In the future, let’s figure out problems like that together. It’s too important for unilateral decisions.”

  She was right. Two heads would always be better than one, but even better were two hearts. “I promise that’s how we’ll do it in the future. As a team.”

  “As a team,” she whispered, the words a sacred vow.

  Their mouths met, sealing that promise, and he allowed himself to get a little handsy and possessive because she was his. All his.

  “I can’t believe you’re wearing this dumb jacket. Aurora has a lot to answer for.”

  “Of course I’m going to wear it, baby boy! I’m Prime Tart!” She laughed. “I have another surprise for you. We’re supposed to have an ultrasound at eighteen weeks. Dr. Patel called and asked me to come in—I know, I should have called you but I thought it would be fun to surprise you.”

  “With what? A secret ultrasound appointment?”

  “No. With the gender of the baby.” She picked up an envelope on Coach’s desk. “I asked her to put it in here so we could open it together. Do you want to know?”

  “Hell, yeah, I want to know!”

  She gave him the envelope and he ripped it apart. Together they extracted the card so they both found out at the same time, a team effort that boded well for their new future.

  “Well, what do you think of that, Ellie?”

  “I think I couldn’t be happier. I assume you’ll be gramming it before the day is out?”

  He smiled. “Let’s keep this to ourselves for a little while. Some secrets are worth holding on to.” Especially when shared by two souls in sync. “And seeing as you came bearing gifts, I should give you something as well.”

  He extracted a velvet pouch from his jeans pocket and tapped out the dinosaur charm into his palm.

  Her lovely eyes brightened. “I saw this on your Insta Stories. It felt like we were connected even
when we were apart.”

  “I hoped you’d still be obsessed enough with me to check my feed.”

  “I’m not obsessed with you!”

  “Sure, sure. Keep on saying it if it makes you feel better.”

  She plucked it from his hand. “This is so sweet, Kershaw. I don’t know what to say.”

  “That you’ll always be my number one fan. Like I am yours.”

  Her smile sent his heart into the rafters of the Rebels Arena. “It’s a promise.”

  Epilogue

  Theo might have thought he was whispering, but his voice increased in volume as Elle sneaked up behind him, phone in hand.

  “So that’s your uncle Remy, one of the great centers of our time, but you can never tell him I told you. And that’s another legend, Bren St. James, also known as Highlander, Lord of the Puck, though I have it on good authority he goes by Nessie these days because of his resemblance to a certain mysterious loch-based mythical creature from Scotland.”

  Elle smiled to herself. Her guy must be making introductions to the family.

  A happy gurgle lit up the room. “Yeah, it is a funny nickname, but he’s not. Guy’s completely humorless, not like your daddy.”

  “Who has the greatest sense of humor in the world,” Elle said after she stopped the phone recording, “along with the sharpest cheekbones, thickest thighs, greenest eyes, and best tush of anyone we know.” She sat beside him on the sofa, patted that famous tush, and murmured, “Nice.”

  “Not bragging if it’s true.”

  Another gurgle affirmed that the Kershaw men were in agreement.

  “I can’t believe you let me sleep so long,” Elle said. “Want me to take him? You could close your eyes for a few minutes before we roll.”

  Theo gestured to a Rebels hockey game on TV, which must have been from a few years back because half those players had hung up their skates. “And miss showing our son the moment when the Rebels attained ultimate glory and won the Cup? No way.”

  Our son. She’d never get tired of that.

  Hatch Wayne Butler Kershaw burst onto the scene a week early and had been charming the skates off everyone ever since. Just as Theo had predicted, their son had inherited his good humor and looks, and his mom’s brains and stubbornness. (Theo substituted “tenacity” for “stubbornness” because he knew better than to pick a fight with a woman who could castrate him with a look.)

  Right now their son was cradled in a Rebels blue and white baby wrap, the promotion of which on Theo’s Instagram feed would pay for Hatch’s first year of college. Being on the road so much, Theo savored every moment he could to bond with him. Watching their baby’s little fist against Theo’s chest was one of those indescribable joys she couldn’t have imagined a year ago.

  “Hey, you know what day it is, Elle-oh-Elle?”

  “It’s Christmas Eve, and we still need to pack for our trip to Saugatuck.”

  He grinned, hot and wicked. “Not just any Christmas Eve, it’s our anniversary.”

  “Right. A year to the day when you broke into my apartment under the guise of stocking my fridge.”

  “And made you breakfast, lunch, and a baby.”

  “That last part might have been in the early hours of Christmas Day.”

  Theo shook his head. “I’m 99.9 percent positive it happened that first time. That’s when my swimmers were at their most powerful and your eggs were crying out to be knocked up by a hockey god.”

  She chuckled. “Sure, Superglutes, that’s how it happened.”

  “You hear that, H?” Theo touched his perfect lips to Hatch’s perfect head. “Your momma’s trying to downplay how she pretty much climbed me like a tree. You are here because she couldn’t keep her hands off me and my dino-briefs.”

  “Yes. Please tell our son about all the sex his parents had before he was born.”

  He wiggled his eyebrows. (Theo, not Hatch who barely had eyebrows.)

  “And after,” she rasped, then leaned in to meet Theo’s kiss. They’d only recently resumed full-scale Theo-Elle fun times, and it was like discovering each other all over again.

  “I’ve got something for you,” he murmured against her lips.

  “Is it your D-I-C-K? Because I’ve seen it already today.”

  “Yeah, you were all over it, lady. Also Hatch doesn’t know what a dick is yet, but he’s probably smart enough to understand letters.”

  “He’s only three and a half months old.”

  “And the smartest baby I know. Much smarter than Cade and Dante’s kid, and she’s a week older!”

  Little Rosie Violet Burnett-Moretti was already a heartbreaker and probably smart enough, but Theo insisted Hatch was a genius.

  The last seven months had been a whirlwind. The Rebels lost the conference finals against Edmonton but had gotten off to a good start this season. Summer in Saugatuck with Aurora showed Elle just how amazing it was to have family in your corner. Not even three performances of Cats could scare Elle off.

  On the other side of the family … Amy and her new husband had come to visit and Theo was a prince of hospitality. Elle’s parents had gone to ground, sending a few occasional texts and a fruit basket when the baby was born. (Yes, a fruit basket.) With Theo’s help, Elle was learning to accept that her parents would never meet her expectations—and she would eventually be okay with that. As for Theo’s dad and brothers, progress had been made there, too. The father-son relationship between Theo and Nick was slowly simmering while his bond with Sean and Jason wound tighter and tighter with each passing month.

  But Elle was most proud of how far she and Theo had come. They talked all the time—and Theo sometimes even let her get a word in! Keeping those channels open were crucial to making them stronger. Next year, she would start an online business degree with her man’s complete support.

  She stroked Hatch’s cheek, marveling at its softness and watercolor pink bloom.

  “I have an early Christmas gift for you,” Theo whispered.

  “You already bought him that drum set.”

  Theo chuckled. “No, for you. Look under the cushion.”

  She checked and found a small blue velvet pouch. “Kershaw, what have you done?”

  “It’s not much,” he said in an uncharacteristic burst of modesty.

  She loosened the drawstring and tapped out the contents into her palm. A silver compass charm, its arrow pointing north. “It’s beautiful.”

  “That’s what you are for me, Ellie. True north. My heart and home. The place I’ll always return to.”

  She swiped at her eyes. “How do you turn me to goop every time?”

  “Just a talent I have.”

  “Very annoying, like so many of your talents.” She turned the charm over in her hand, admiring its twinkle. “I love it. I love you.”

  He kissed her over their son’s head. “And I love you. Ready to head out?”

  “Almost, but first …” She uploaded the brief video clip to her Instagram and tagged Theo while she was at it. Who was she to deny the world the sight of The Theo Kershaw killing it as the best dad ever?

  She’d happily spare a few seconds. After all, he’d promised every other one to her.

  Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed Theo, Elle, and their hatchling. Please leave an honest review on your favorite book platform. I would so appreciate it.

  Ready for more Rebels? Next up is Gunnar Bond’s story of heartache, love, and redemption in Man Down.

  Want to know how Dante and Cade started their own journey to parenthood? Check in with two of my favorite Rebels at the holidays in Wrapped Up in You, available now. Turn the page for a (sexy) sneak peek!

  New to the Chicago Rebels world? Three estranged sisters inherit their late father’s failing hockey franchise and are forced to confront a man’s world, their family’s demons, and the battle-hardened ice warriors skating into their hearts. Start right now with the free prequel, In Skates Trouble.

  Are you a fan of hot and heartfel
t romance featuring found families? Check out the Hot in Chicago series about firefighting foster siblings honoring the father who saved them while they follow in his footsteps. The Dempseys’ motto: fire is stronger than blood and defend the people you love to the last ember.

  Finally, to stay in touch about new releases, sales, and what I’m working on, sign up for my newsletter or join my reader group, Kate’s Kittens on Facebook.

  Wrapped Up in You

  Chapter 1

  “Only a Texan would rent a car in New York.”

  “And only a New Yorker would get all bent out of shape about it.”

  Cade Burnett slid a glance to Mr. Big Apple Know-it-all himself, then reached out to squeeze his muscle-bound thigh. Sometimes he couldn’t believe he got to do that to Dante Moretti, former NHL pro, general manager of the Chicago Rebels, and Cade’s sexy AF boss. His boyhood crush, too. Was this real life?

  “I know you’re nervous.”

  “Yes, I am,” Dante clipped back. “You’re behind the wheel in one of the most congested cities in the world where offensive driving is an Olympic sport and every other driver glories in being an asshole. We should have gotten a car service.”

  “I like driving. Don’t do enough of it being a VIP and all.” Cade rarely drove the sporty roadster he paid an exorbitant monthly fee to garage back in Riverbrook, just north of Chicago. Dante usually drove them both into the Rebels’ practice facility and home again after games. But then Dante liked to be in charge in pretty much every area of his life.

  Maybe Cade should have let the poor guy take the wheel today so he could feel some semblance of control. Visiting your family after a year of painfully obvious absence would play havoc on anyone’s mental health. Dante’s sisters and their husbands were accepting of his sexuality, but his parents had iced him out over twelve years ago when he came out after his NHL retirement. Trips to visit his sisters were timed to ensure Dante didn’t cross paths with his parents, but proximity to his old hood made him twitchy.