by Lauren Wood
“So, what do you think that means?”
“I don't know what it could mean. You know her better than I do.”
I told him that there was a good chance that I didn't. I thought I knew her well, but that didn't seem to be the case. If it was, there was no way that it would have turned out the way it did.
“Well Colt, I will let you know something when I hear about it. If you signed the paperwork, which I cannot say that I am so happy about, then we will just have to wait for her to file it. Unless you want to go ahead and file divorce papers of your own. then we can make whatever terms you want, and we can get it started. It's up to you.”
It would have been easier, taking it off my mind. I could just file the paperwork myself, get the divorce and be done with it. It would be preferred to the feeling I had right now, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I knew that she was going to file the paperwork though. Why would she go all the way to Vegas to get my signature if she wasn't? But then there was a question of why she was taking her time with it. Candy had made it like they were going to get married, that I had in fact ruined her first attempt, so why was she taking so long now? I had given her what she wanted. All of these unanswered questions was doing my head in.
I hung up with the lawyer after asking him a few more questions and I let my mind run a little bit. I liked to think that she had not filed them yet because she was unsure, maybe she wanted to stay married. But then again, I knew better. I had gotten my hopes up one too many times over this woman and I wasn't going to let it happen again.
Not able to let my mind run too much, I had to shut down all of the thoughts that I had about Candy. It was hard to work, but I forgot things if I didn't. My lawyer had once again voiced concerns about the divorce papers I hadn’t looked at, but I didn't want to think about that either.
Instead, I went to my office and started in on my work. I’d been burying myself in it lately, not even getting off early enough to pick someone up. My love life had taken a nose dive and I knew that it was because of one person. It was because of Candy. She’d ruined so many things for me, even my favorite restaurant. Everything was bland and dull now. She’d livened everything up, but left darkness in her wake.
Leaving the office around midnight, Ernest asked me if I wanted to go to a bar or club, pick someone up.
“No, I think I’m good on all of that. Just take me home Ernest.”
“Can I ask you a question Sir?”
He was getting formal and had concern in his tone. I didn’t like where this was going at all.
“Sure, what’s up?”
I said it casually, hoping that it would stay that way.
“I’m worried about you Sir.”
I sighed and told him that there was no need for that.
“There is nothing to worry about, nothing at all. I’m just taking a break and focusing on work. Got a lot of big clients at the moment.”
It was a very easy to understand sort of comment, but there was still part of me that knew that it was all crap. The truth wasn’t something that could be said out loud. I was in love with a woman that was divorcing me, and she’d ruined all other women for me as a going away present.
Dating was now all a waste of time, maybe it had always been a waste of time.
“I don't know Colt, something is different about you. Is it that little redhead that you had running around here a month ago that was your wife?”
I shot him a look through the rearview mirror and I told him that I didn’t want to talk about it. Of course, it was about Candy, but there was no sense in talking about it.
“She isn't my wife anymore.”
The message must have gotten through by the changing of my voice because he dropped it. That was the best thing that he could do too, because it was last thing that I wanted to talk about.
I sat back in the back seat and watched the city fly by window. It felt strange to me that of all the things that could stop me in my tracks, it was a damn woman that did it. I had been fighting to get to the top for so long, not letting anything get in my way, but that didn't seem to matter now. All that seemed to matter was that I was at the top now.
Being alone wasn't something that I had to do, I could have easily found a woman to stand beside me. But I didn't want any of them. I wanted one woman and no matter how hard I tried to fight it., I just couldn't change that. I was already starting to think of ways to get her back. I wasn't sure how I was going to do it yet, but I knew that I was going to have to.
By the time I got home, I had already called a couple of people, to get some information for me. I had a few investigators that I kept on retainer for when I needed them. I never trusted the police and their investigation, and I didn't even trust my own client’s word, so sometimes I had to find out things myself.
With Candy, I had to figure out what was going on with her and why she wasn’t doing what she was so sure she wanted to do when she left. Candy hadn't filed divorce papers, and she hadn't gotten married. It made me think that maybe she was feeling the same way that I was. Was she questioning everything too?
Vincent call me back first and gave me the rundown of what he had found out. He had an address, phone number, where she worked, but none of that was what I wanted. I wanted to know where she was living, so that I would know who with.
“Was she still with Jax?”
“That part I don't know Colt. I know that she is not staying in the same address that she used to be, but I don't know if they are together or not. If you give me a couple of days, I will go down there and take a look. There wasn't much that I could get with my contact list so far away.”
“Yeah, go ahead and do that. Just want to know if she's gone for me for good.”
Vincent asked me who she was, and I told him if he was a good enough investigator, he would already know.
He chuckled and said that he knew that she was my wife, but he just wanted to know what I would say about it.”
“I never did tag you as the marrying type Colt, it just doesn't seem to be part of your make up.”
“Well, that's probably true. It is also probably why she is divorcing me I suppose.”
“I am sorry to hear that.”
“Yeah me too.”
He asked me a couple more questions about what all I wanted to know, and then we both said our goodbyes. I had mixed feelings about the information. I was worried that she was going to forget about me, even though I knew it was impossible for me to forget about her. If she wasn't with Jax, then the question for me now was, why had she not come back or at least called?
I was unclear of the answer to that, but I was determined, now more than ever that something was going to come from this. I just wasn’t sure what yet.
Chapter 24
Candy
“Hey mom, I didn't know that you were going to be here.”
“Well I would've called and told you, but you haven't been calling me back lately. Have you been that busy?”
I told her that I had been busy with work probably, but she didn't want to hear about my job. She never did. She didn't understand why I went to college and got a degree, because mom could never understand why I’d gotten a job to begin with. She always used to tell me with a face like the one I had, I would never have to work. I wanted to work though, so she didn't quite get that.
“You know that you can't spend your whole life working Candy. You are getting older now and you have to make some decisions if you want to have a family.”
I was just getting home from work and I had a feeling that she had timed it just right. I don't know where she got the information, but there really was no telling with her. Cynthia had a way of getting what she wanted, no matter the cost and I was trying to figure out what her angle was.
She walked in after me and made a comment about the fact that I was living here by myself. I didn’t want to get into it, but like always, I didn’t have much of a choice. She had always been the type of mom that wo
uld butt into my life and there was nothing that I could really do about it.
“I just don’t like you staying here. If you’re not going to go back home with Jax, then you should come stay with me and your father. You know that you always have a place to stay with us.”
I thanked her, but there was no way. I just had to find the way to say hell no politely. I wasn’t sure how yet, but I knew that it would come to me.
“Are you listening to me?”
“I just got off work mom. Just give me a minute. I don’t want to argue with you, but I’ve had a very long day and I really don’t want to talk about Jax.”
“What about talking about your current husband?”
“Colt? What about him?”
“Well how about the fact that he is richer than a frickin Titan?”
“How do you know about that?”
My mom looked at me a little surprised and asked me how I knew.
“I thought you said you didn't know much about him?”
“Well, I mean, I really don't. I just know that he's a lawyer and he's pretty high up there.”
“The man is in the top ten entrepreneurs in the city. He doesn't work for the company, he and his father made it what it is. I think you were swindled into thinking he had less than he did. He is a multi-millionaire on his own, not including his family money.”
I'm not going to say that I wasn't shocked, but at the same time, I really didn't care. My mom's eyes are huge, and I could see that she was already counting the money in her head, but it wasn't something that I was too worried about. The last thing that I was worried about was somebody else's money.
“I don't see what that has to do with anything.”
“Well, you know that I was going to take the divorce papers over to the lawyer, right?”
“Yeah, I was going to ask you about that. Have the papers been filed yet? I haven’t heard anything from Charlie.”
“That is what I came over here to talk to you about.”
I was getting a bad feeling again and this time I knew it was because of my mom. She had done something, I just knew it. Most of the time, she was pretty predictable, but sometimes she would surprise me still. I had a feeling that this was going to be bad.
“What is there to talk about? You were just supposed to drop it off at the lawyers and that was it. I thought that he was going to file it so that it would be over with by now. What’s taking so long?”
* * *
“Well when you didn't marry Jax, and you moved out, I didn't think that you were in that big of a rush. So, I had the lawyers look into him and find out what kind of person he was. You know, so that you could have the best legal representation.”
It didn't sound like she was worried about his personality at all. It sounded like she was far more worried about what was in his bank account.
“What kind of person he is? It doesn't really matter, that's the whole point of getting divorced. I'm cutting ties with him anyways, so I don't understand why any of this matter. You shouldn’t have done that.”
“It matters because you are walking away with nothing. That man is richer than a lot of people that I know, and you have a right to half of it. There is no prenup, and lawyers have assured me that you should fight for what is yours.”
I just sort of shook my head and told her that she was crazy.
“I don't deserve anything. We were married for several years, but I've only seen him twice in all of that time. I didn't even know I was married a week ago before all that, so why in the world would I try to take his money?”
“You just don't think child. You are getting older and if you're not going to marry Jax, what are you going to do? You seem to think that money just grows on trees.”
“No, you seem to think that I have to have a man to survive. I am not you in that way and I never have been. I am going to do just fine, whether I find a man to spend it with me or not. You are the one that needs to come to this in your own head, not me.”
It wasn't the first time that I said something like that to her, but it had been a while. Once I started dating Jax, I didn't want him to see how dysfunctional we were, so I tried to get along with her as best as I could. That meant a lot of tongue biting and I was getting sick of it. The last thing that I wanted to do was keep it up. That's why I had moved into my own place, so I wouldn’t have to have these conversations and arguments anymore. And if I did, it would be when I went to my mom’s house prepared for it, not when I came home trying to get on with my life.
“I can't believe you're talking to me like this. I am your mother.”
“I know, but you went way out of bounds. You said that you were just going to drop the paperwork off, now you are talking about something else altogether different. This is not what I want in any way shape or form and I will not allow it to happen. I just want a divorce, and he can keep everything. That is the way it's going to be.”
My mom acted like she understood, but I wasn't sure if she did. She didn't look like she was innocent, she never did, and I had to wonder why she was going with it so easily. It looked like she was bubbling over inside and wanted to say something. I just wasn't sure what it was.
“So, promise me that you're going to let this alone.”
She was begrudging about it, but she finally promise that she would. I wasn't sure if I believe her or not, but I was hoping that she had finally gotten the point.
She stayed around a little while longer, having a glass of wine and asking me about Jax. I swear that she just didn't get things. She went from one man that I didn’t want to talk about, to another man that I didn't want to talk about it. It was all just too confusing, and mom couldn't seem to see that I just needed some time alone.
When she left I was finally able to breathe again, and I felt like I had just survived world war one. That's how she was.
Checking my messages, I made sure that there weren't any emails I had to read and respond to you right away before I went to bed. The art gallery was getting busier by the day and even though my family didn't seem to care much about my job, I loved it. I just had to figure out a way not to let them ruin it.
She had asked lot of questions about Jax that I really didn't have the answer for. We had broken up about a month ago. But he was still around, trying to get me to talk to him. I was just to the point I didn't know what to say anymore and like my mom, I was avoiding him as much as possible. I just felt like I had let everybody down, and he didn't even know the worst part. I had kept my infidelities from him so that it wouldn’t be so bad. I don’t know if that was for me, or for him.
I went to bed that night and like every other night, it was awful. I thought about Colt too much and I how I felt about him was the reason that I had pulled back from Jax.
If I had really love Jax then I never would have fallen for my husband. It was strange to think that he was still my husband and I was starting to wonder if there was some reason for that. Maybe there was some cosmic reasons that I didn't understand yet.
When I woke up the next morning, I picked up my phone and I wanted to call him. I hadn't talked to Colt since I left Vegas, but I ended up getting a call from work about a delivery that was already at the place and the thought was pushed from my head until the next night.
I kept procrastinating calling him because I didn't know how to handle it. If it was all cosmic and it was all meant to be, then maybe I should just let it play out. Either that, or I was a big chicken.
Chapter 25
Colt
I was getting a weekly update from my lawyer about the divorce, or the lack of any information. Thankfully, I got busy at work when a couple of my clients had done some very stupid things that were taking up all of my time. It was nice because I didn't have to worry about thinking of Candy and the knots in my stomach that it would cause. Instead I could just throw myself into work and try to forget everything.
Nights were still hard, and I still dreamed about her every night, but it was getting easi
er. This is what I had to tell myself anyways. That it was somehow going to get easier.
“So, tell me some news.”
“Well colt, I was actually going to call you in a little bit because I did finally get some news.”
He was watching his wording and that made me a little nervous. When my lawyer started sounding like a lawyer, even when he was talking to me, that meant that he was going to tell me something that I certainly do not want to hear. I didn't know what it was, but since he knew that I didn't want the divorce, maybe it finally been filed. Maybe I had missed my chance and she was sick of waiting.
“So, what is it that you got to tell me?”
“I don't really know how to say this Colt.”
“Well just say it then. I've never seen you not able to talk, what is going on? You’re freaking me out.”
“Well, something did get filed a couple days ago and I'm just now seeing the copy of it. I don't know why it took me so long, but I have a couple of days to make a response. I need to know what you want me to do.”
“Well if she wants to divorce me, there's nothing I can really do about it. Just go ahead with it. What more is there to talk about?”
I was getting short with him, which I knew it was because I was upset. I had started to believe that somehow this was all going to turn out okay, but I should have known better. I should have known that she was going to file eventually, I just didn't understand why it had taken so long. In a way, it felt like she was fucking with my head.
Investigators told me that she’d found a place to live by herself and that had given me more hope. Now I was pissed at myself, as well as everybody else who had told me that I still had a chance.
The lawyer interrupted my thoughts with the next sentence.
“I know that you said you were going to let it go through, but this isn't the same one that she had you signed, I don't think anyways. I know that you love her or loved her, but there is no way that you would have signed this document.”