by Mia Belle
I give her another pleasant smile.
“So what brings you to our neck of the woods?”
I shrug. “Just spending some time away. With my grandmother. I was wondering if you offer advance classes here.”
“Yes, we do.” She motions for me to follow her deeper into the studio, where a group of kids about seven years old are prancing around in their tutus. “My son usually gives the younger students lessons while I take on the teens and adults. He had to cancel today because he has a thing at school, and I’m covering, but my Tuesdays and Thursdays are usually reserved for the advanced classes. Can you show me a little of what you’ve got? It’ll help me see what level you’re at.”
I change into my dancing outfit and stretch, then do a quick routine. My dancing background is a little ballet, tap, musical dance, and a bit of hip-hop.
The dance instructor—Lisa Miller—smiles when I’m done. “I think you would fit in with the advanced students. Here’s the schedule.” She hands me a piece of paper. “Let me know what classes you’d like to sign up for.”
“Thanks.”
My chest feels heavy as I leave the studio and make my way to the bus to take me to Grandma’s house. I really don’t want to dance because it reminds me of everything, but I don’t want to give up completely, either. Maybe the best would be to start off with one class.
Grandma isn’t home because she’s at a charity event. I park myself at my desk and start my homework, trying not to think about how large and empty the house is. And ignoring social media from my friends back in New York. It’ll just make the ache in my heart stronger. I didn’t know how much it hurts to be so lonely.
It’s only six o’clock when I finish all my work. And I’m bored as hell. I lean back in my chair with a huff. I don’t want to spend all my free time binge-watching Netflix. But I’m not really in the mood to go out exploring the town, either. I’m in a weird stage of being bored but not really wanting to do anything. But sitting here will make me think and I definitely don’t want to think. Because then the memories of the past year will crowd my brain.
I almost jump for joy when I get a text from Abbey.
Abbey: gonna finish today’s filming a little early. You around for a video chat?
Me: Hell yeah. I’m bored out of my mind!
She tells me she’ll call the second she gets home. My cheeks hurt from smiling, not only because I’ll have something to do but because I’ll finally be able to catch up with what’s been going on in her life. I miss her like crazy.
I answer her call the second she rings. “Hey!”
It takes a second for her to shift into focus, but when I do, I stare at the screen in confusion. Her phone is in place of her face, showing me an Abbey with a face mask and gray hair. She looks like she’s sixty years old. She looks exactly like her grandmother.
She removes the phone and pushes her face before the screen. “Did you recognize me? That’s my face for the next few days. We were supposed to film the first scene today, but there were some technical difficulties with the harness and the director didn’t want to risk it. So filming was cancelled for the rest of the day. How do I look?”
“Like one hot grandma. What’s the episode about? You being thrown forty years in the future?”
She bends closer to the screen. “Are you sure you want me to tell you?”
Even though she’s not supposed to, Abbey sometimes discloses to me about future episodes, which is such torture because I’m obsessed with the show.
I pout. “Fine.”
She fluffs her hair. “Just know that it’s awesome.”
I smile, wishing I was there with her. I haven’t seen her in the flesh since earlier this year when I guest starred on an episode. The USS Journey crashed on a desolate planet that had only one survivor—a blue alien played by me.
Of course my character snagged the attention of the starship’s first officer and resident bad boy. His character, played by the talented Hollywood hottie Jason Gilbert, developed strong feelings for the pretty alien, but they couldn’t be together because her species can’t physically be with anyone outside of their people. The most they could do is kiss, and believe me, there was a lot of it. The episode didn’t air yet, but Abbey and some crew members told me the kiss scenes were pretty steamy. A reason why I’m both excited and dreading for the episode to air.
“Just a few more weeks until my episode airs,” I tell her.
She squeals. “If it’s as good as they say, maybe they’ll ask you back. Won’t that be awesome?”
“I doubt it.”
“Why? Everyone loves star-crossed lovers.”
“Maybe. But…I don’t know.”
The Hollywood life isn’t really my scene. Kitty and Abbey love it, but I like live theater better. But anyway, I’m trying to stay out of the spotlight.
“You need to bribe the writers and creative team to write about a kid alien or something. Kitty will pop a vessel if she doesn’t guest star on an episode soon.”
“I know.” Abbey moans. “She texts me like every day. I’m working on it.”
“Even though you’re the star of the show,” I tease.
She snorts. “The public loves Jason more than me. How unfair is that? And I even got some threats. Like, hello, I’m not his girlfriend in the show or in real life. Jeez.”
I sigh mockingly. “But he’s so soon-worthy. And such a good kisser.”
“Oh, shut up.” She leans forward. “Wanna hear something?”
“Uh, yes.”
“This is super top secret.” She pauses for dramatic effect. “The captain and first officer totally have a thing. Like a thing. In the middle of a desolate planet.”
“What?!”
“Yeah, their shuttlecraft crashes on the planet and they’re stuck for days before being rescued. The planet gets so cold at night that they have to snuggle each other, and one thing leads to another and then…oh yeah! And then things are super awkward afterwards on the ship.” She squeals. “I finally get to kiss Jason Gilbert!”
I laugh.
“Anyway, enough about my life. How are things with you?”
“But your life is so much more interesting than mine.”
“Oh shut up. How’s it going? Did you move in with Darla yet?”
“Yep. Started school on Tuesday.”
“Wow. I don’t even remember what it’s like to go to a normal school. The thought of going to a new school is so ugh. I don’t know how you do it.”
“I know. But it’s okay. I think. I mean, I didn’t make any friends yet.”
She waves her hand. “You’ll make friends in no time.”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure I have anything in common with these kids. They’ve known each other since preschool and I’m an outsider.”
“So? Find your peeps. Isn’t there a theater club or something? All schools have theater clubs.”
Abbey doesn’t know what happened to me this year. Of course I want to tell her, but she’s so busy with her TV show and the last thing I want is to burden her with my problems. Abbey takes everything to heart and I’m worried it’d affect her job. She thinks I moved in with my grandmother because I need a break from Broadway.
“I don’t know,” I say again. “Joining the club would be counterproductive, don’t you think?”
“I guess.”
I puff out my cheeks. “There’s a thing, though.”
She lifts her brows. “I’m listening.”
“They’re putting on Beauty and the Beast. And they want me to play Belle.”
“You love Beauty and the Beast! Isn’t it your dream to play Belle?”
“Yeah, when I was eight.”
“So make your eight-year-old self’s dreams come true and play Belle.”
I internally shake my head. She doesn’t get it. Not that I blame her, because she doesn’t know exactly what’s going on with me. No one other than my family does. And my agent. I can’t go around snapping at peo
ple or getting upset because they don’t understand. It’s not their fault.
“They said the school will stop funding the club if they don’t sell out the show.”
“Really? That’s rough.”
“And they want my help.”
“What’s wrong with that?” she asks.
“It feels wrong. That they just want to use my name to sell tickets.”
“I don’t see the problem. It’s a win-win situation in my book. You get to play one of your childhood dream roles and they keep their club.”
“But I’m not sure if I want to be part of the production.”
“Why not? You’re still taking a break from Broadway.”
“But it’s not only about taking a break from Broadway! It’s about taking a break from—” I snap my mouth shut.
Her eyebrows spring up. “Taking a break from…?”
I shake my head. “Never mind.” I rub my head. “Sorry, headache.”
“Kara.” She moves her face closer to the screen. “I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I know that deep inside you know what’s the right thing to do. That’s why you’re so torn up about it. Look, it’s just a high school musical. It must mean the world to them.”
“Because not everyone’s grandmother and mother are famous Broadway performers,” I say, thinking back to what Ezra said to me. He was right.
“Well, I think you can hold your own, Broadway’s ‘It Girl.’”
I groan. “I wish people would quit calling me that.”
“Anyway,” she stresses, “are there any cute boys in your high school?”
I roll my eyes. She’s still the same Abbey.
“C’mon, Kara. Now that your life isn’t dedicated to performing, you can find something else.” She raises her eyebrows suggestively.
I laugh. “You and Kitty. It’s like you two share a brain.”
“You guys are my sisters from another mister. Well?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. Of course there are cute boys. I’m just not sure I want a boyfriend right now.”
The truth is, I’ve never really had a boyfriend. I mean, I’ve had the middle school relationships that lasted days, some hours, but I never experienced that deep emotional connection everyone strives for. Maybe I was too absorbed in my career and didn’t have the time or maybe I wasn’t ready. It would be nice to get close to someone, but maybe I’m still not ready. Could I open my heart after what I’ve been through?
“You don’t have to have anything serious,” Abbey says. “You’re in high school. Have fun. Experiment.”
I give her a look. “Do you know who you’re talking to?”
She giggles. “How could I forget? Kara Starr puts her heart and soul into everything. She doesn’t give anything less than one hundred percent. Ugh, Kara, when you meet the right one you’ll fall so deeply in love! I can’t wait.”
Yeah, me either.
We talk for another hour before her mother comes to say hello. Then she forces her daughter to end the call so she could work on some homework and get a good night’s sleep. Filming starts early tomorrow.
I get up and stretch my limbs. Grandma still isn’t home. The house is too quiet. With a sigh, I log into Netflix.
Chapter Nine
Ezra
I push the bar high over my head. My muscles strain. I grit my teeth. I go again and again, ignoring the quake in my arms. And the pain. Maybe it’ll block out the thoughts running wild in my brain.
But when I can’t take it anymore, I drop the bar and yank myself off the bench, grabbing a towel and dabbing my drenched face and chest. They were on my case this morning, chewing my ear off about my grades. Because without good grades, how can I get into a good law school?
No matter how many times I told them I don’t want to be a lawyer, that I don’t have the same dream as them, they wouldn’t listen. And when I brought up the B word? They almost lost their shit. Because why would any normal person pick Broadway over law?
And then I lost it on Kara Starr.
I was so angry when I got to school, could barely make it through morning classes, and then I saw her in the hallway. Jealousy consumed me. She’s from a theater family. They get her. They share her dream. They support her. She’s gotten everything she’s ever wanted handed to her on a silver platter. Of course she’s got talent, but there are a lot of talented people out there. Most of us won’t have the kind of success she has. So I took out all my anger and frustration on her.
I’m a jerk. I looked back after marching away and saw the way she lowered herself to the floor and hugged her knees. It wasn’t about what I said. She had a haunted look on her face. She’s obviously going through something, and maybe that’s why she moved in with her grandmother. Maybe Jax was right.
But I wasn’t any better than him, was I? I was trying to force and guilt Kara into joining a musical she clearly doesn’t want to be part of. The only difference between Jax and me is that his intentions were out of concern. Me? I was selfish. I wanted someone famous like Kara Starr to sell tickets and give our theater club some attention. Because then it would be a good reflection on me and might bump me one step closer to reaching my dreams. And maybe, just maybe, my parents would finally take me seriously.
I chuck the sweat-drenched towel on the floor and lightly punch the wall. The one person who could help me isn’t here anymore. Grandpa Frank would know what to say to make me feel better. He would even try to talk to my parents. Not that it would accomplish anything, but it felt good that he was on my side.
Now I have no one.
Chapter Ten
Kara
The auditorium’s first two rows are filled with kids. Beauty and the Beast doesn’t have a huge main cast, but there are quite a few ensemble members. I guess the school will have to do with less dancing plates and utensils.
Miss Lewis stands on the stage near the microphone, informing us that today is the final auditions. Carter is at the piano. They both gape at me in shock as I walk down the aisle, which makes every single person in the room twist around to stare at me.
“Kara!” Miss Lewis says, not hiding the excitement in her voice. “So glad you can join us. You are here to audition, aren’t you? Your name wasn’t on the sign-up sheet.”
“I wasn’t sure…but yeah, I want to audition.”
“Excellent. Please take a seat.”
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” I ask.
“I’ll be back,” she tells the other kids, then sits with me a few rows away. “What’s up?”
“One of the guys told me you want to give me the role of Belle, but I want to receive the same treatment as everyone else. I want to have a proper audition and I want you to give me the role I deserve. So please don’t overlook my missing notes or forgetting lines.”
She glances at the others before bending close to whisper, “You won’t be embarrassed if I give the principal role to another student?”
“That’s how the industry is. I’m used to it. And I think everyone should have a fair shot. I’ve been doing this all my life, but it means the world to some kids here.”
Miss Lewis studies me for a bit. Then a huge smile breaks out on her face. “I’m proud. That’s very mature of you. I’ll weigh you equally against the other applicants. Thanks, Kara.”
I follow her to the front of the auditorium, taking the empty seat next to a pretty girl with straight gold blond hair that sweeps her lower back. I’m about to smile and say hello, when her nostrils flare and she turns to the girl next to her, telling her about her super, awesome boyfriend. My heart sinks a little. Maybe the theater kids won’t be my peeps, either.
“Hey, Kara,” a guy sitting a few seats away whisper-yells, the largest smile I’ve ever seen spread across his lips. “So glad you decided to come.”
I give him a tight smile and turn away. The stalker guy.
Miss Lewis starts calling kids to audition. Most of the applicants already auditioned yesterday, though. She’d ra
ther us sing a song of our choosing from Beauty and the Beast as opposed to any other musical, which she stated on the sign-up sheet. I didn’t think I’d actually come today, which is why I only practiced for a bit last night. But I know the whole thing by heart—I can thank my eight year old self for that. Still, it’s in my nature to give it my all when I audition, and today is no different, even though I’m still hesitant about being in the musical.
The guy on stage sings “If I Can’t Love Her” a little off-key. His face is tomato red from the effort, and as soon as Miss Lewis thanks him, he dashes off the stage and out of the auditorium. The girl next to me snorts to her friend. “Amateur freshman.”
“Kara Starr?” Miss Lewis calls. “You’re up next.”
My neighbor’s hand shoots in the air. “Miss Lewis?”
“Yes, Kelsey?”
“Can I redo my audition?”
She shakes her head. “I’m sorry, Kelsey, but you know I don’t allow that.”
“I just think it’s not fair that some people here have professional experience. If I knew some people would audition, I would have tried harder.”
“Are you saying you think you’re better than us?” a girl with light orange hair demands.
Kelsey shrugs.
“You should have known Kara would audition,” Stalker Guy says. “I mean, she’s Kara Starr.”
“Shut up, Miller,” she snaps. “Not everyone is an obsessed fan like you.”
I try not to cringe. No wonder the theater club is sinking. These kids have no idea what camaraderie means.
Miss Lewis holds up her hand. “Can we please try to be professional here? Come up, Kara.”
Kelsey mutters unintelligible words under her breath as I leave my seat and climb onto the stage. My legs are wobbly. I’ve been to many auditions in my sixteen years on this planet, but I don’t think I’ve ever been this nervous before. Maybe because I want these kids to like me? Because I don’t want to be an outsider anymore?
Carter smiles, his beautiful green eyes bright. “What are you singing?” he asks.