Captain Cat

by David Shaw

Lee had been banging a young male patient's brains out. That would have been conduct above and beyond the call of duty for which she definitely wouldn't get the Dave Davenport reconstruction medal, however much she deserved it.

  Still, like I said, Marie had come off the set on a roll and the chat up we got from the executive type media guys kept her spirits higher than a Chinese kite. It wasn't the Marie I knew, this was a younger, more open, much more talkative Marie, and she was fun.

  Which really annoyed me.

  The way I saw it, she shouldn't have been happy at all, not on the same evening she'd told me to take a long hike out of her life. My emotions were fluttering around inside me like a shot pigeon and the woman who'd pulled the trigger had turned into a giggling teenager. So we went back to the same place we'd started from, the hotel, but the feelings between us certainly weren't the same. To be honest we were still in the hotel lift when I felt I had to say my piece. I couldn't even wait to get back inside the room.

  (FX: lift doors closing)

  MARIE LEE

  Dave, I'm really glad everything has gone so well for you.

  DAVE DAVENPORT

  The TV part of it was fine. I'm not so happy about what you said to me before though. About us having no future.

  MARIE LEE

  You're well ahead of the game now, Dave. You don't need me any more. In fact, from now on, I'm the last person you want to have hanging around you. If you're looking for lots of attention seeking female customers, then the romantic bachelor role is the only for you. I think it's what's called marketing.

  DAVE DAVENPORT

  And being with you is what I call living.

  MARIE LEE

  Then let's enjoy it while we can.

  (F/X: lift door opening)

  DAVE DAVENPORT -- NARRATION

  We went into the hotel room and suddenly I felt exhausted. I took off my shoes and tie, then stretched out on the bed.

  MARIE LEE

  Do you want to go out for a meal, Dave?

  DAVE DAVENPORT

  Have you ever sat down in a restaurant, ordered a meal, and then tried to eat it in public with a blindfold on? Thanks, but I'll pass on the idea of having somebody cut up my food and feed me chunks of it in public as if I was a kid on an outing.

  MARIE LEE

  Then unzip the back of my skirt for me, please.

  DAVE DAVENPORT

  You're not making life very easy for me, Captain. Not after you've dropped me like a bedpan full of stale piss.

  MARIE LEE

  Stop sulking, Trooper Davenport. Give me your hands.

  DAVE DAVENPORT -- NARRATION

  I sat up and stretched out my hands. She gripped the back of each one and pressed the palms against the tops of her legs. Through the thick skirt I felt straps -- straps running straight up and down her thighs

  DAVE DAVENPORT

  Are those what I think they are?

  MARIE LEE

  If you're thinking suspenders and stockings, you're right. To make up a bit for not being able to watch me take off my uniform piece by piece, including the good conduct medals. I won't be needing them tonight.

  DAVE DAVENPORT

  But I thought you said we couldn't have a long term relationship?

  MARIE LEE

  Dave, I promised the babysitter I'd be back by midnight. That only gives us three hours. It could hardly be a shorter relationship and still be worth getting undressed for.

  DAVE DAVENPORT

  Afterwards, I mean. We can still meet up sometimes?

  MARIE LEE

  Maybe; depending on where you're living and whether you still want us to. And on my circumstances as well.

  Dave, try to understand, the problem isn't that I don't like you enough. The problem is that I like you far too much. So, for God's sake, get this skirt off me while I'm still going weak at the knees.

  DAVE DAVENPORT

  Yes, nurse.

  DAVE DAVENPORT -- NARRATION

  They say a gentleman never tells tales about his affairs. But since I'm not a gentleman I'm happy to report that both of us performed much better in a bed -- or on top of one, anyway. It was also the first time I'd ever made love to a woman someone wearing one of those old style suspender belts.

  And I do mean old style, four straps with matching stocking clips. My hands thought they were time travelling back to the sixties. And no matter which way I turned Marie around or over, there were always plenty of handholds available. The old timers were no fools

  The problem was that I was a tad too eager and Captain Lee never had a chance to get her tunic off before she came under starter's orders. Apparently I put a few wrinkles in it. On the other hand she did say afterwards that if she could have, she'd have taken off her medals and pinned them to my . . . well, never mind.

  I said I'd be happy just to be mentioned in despatches.

  We were both laughing and happy, until I felt my watch and realised how quickly the minutes were slipping past. And I still wasn't sure how things really were between us, not even after all the passion.

  Perhaps a subtle approach was called for. A few casual yet probing questions framed with all the diplomatic nicety you could expect from a rifle carrying, trench digging grunt.

  DAVE DAVENPORT

  You're not going to throw me out with the garbage then? I'm just going into the deep freeze to be thawed out occasionally, when you're in the mood?

  MARIE LEE

  Dave, listen, try to understand. You've been through a traumatic experience, I was the one who happened to catch you first on the other side of it and so you've got this temporary fixation about somebody who's not right for you. Don't get distracted by feelings you'll soon forget. Keep working towards what you can achieve.

  Believe me, once you get back into the real world the only link between us will be my name on your Christmas card list.

  DAVE DAVENPORT

  You're a lot more optimistic about my chances than I am. I'm getting more and more frightened every day now because I've got more and more to live for.

  When I was told I was blind forever, I just wanted to do myself in because I thought it was all over. But maybe it isn't, so every day now is a challenge, and every day I run up against some new limitation on what I can do because I'm always stumbling around in the dark.

  I'm always frightened, Marie, every waking hour. A total chicken guts. This is the only time when I'm not frightened, when I've got my arms around you and we're talking in the dark, like we're both normal people.

  MARIE LEE

  Dave . . .

  DAVE DAVENPORT

  You're right, of course. Now I think about it. What would I do I do if I went out with a girl? Ask her to take me to the door of the male toilet and wait for me to come out again like a school mum waiting for an infant?

  You wouldn't be getting a partner in me, Marie, would you? You'd just be getting another kid to look after - one that's never going to grow up.

  MARIE LEE

  Well, it's time you started to cope with the big world, that's true. But I'm sure you can find your way down to the lobby in the morning. They'll call a taxi for you.

  DAVE DAVENPORT

  What?

  DAVE DAVENPORT -- NARRATION

  I couldn't follow the plot on that line at all. What was she talking about, about me leaving in the morning?

  DAVE DAVENPORT

  Hang on. Aren't you giving me a lift back to the hospital tonight?

  MARIE LEE

  I'm sorry, Dave, but I've made other arrangements.

  DAVE DAVENPORT

  OK, fine then, but I could come down with you now and get a cab back to the hospital.

  MARIE LEE

  You wouldn't want to do that. You're paying for this room for the night and you're nice and comfortable in that big double bed. Stay and enjoy yourself.

  DAVE DAVENPORT

  Doing what? At least help me get all my clothes together in one place, and my w
hite stick.

  MARIE LEE

  Don't worry, I'll see you're alright. Just wait there.

  DAVE DAVENPORT - NARRATION

  Wait there? Where was she going. Out of the door, out of the hotel, out of my life? Yes, a door was opening and I was sure it was the door into the corridor. Should I call her back or show some pride at the end? I opened my mouth, then closed it because I heard two voices speaking very quietly. One was Marie's, the other another woman. A woman out in the corridor -- waiting out in the corridor? One thing I was sure of anyway, I hadn't heard anybody knocking.

  There was movement inside the room, two pairs of feet coming into the bedroom, towards me. They stopped, and then somebody sat on the end of the bed. Somebody who was lighter built than Marie. Who the hell was this and what was going on?

  MARIE LEE

  This is a mystery visitor, Dave. Any idea of who it is?

  DAVE DAVENPORT -- NARRATION

  What was she talking about? How could I know who it was? Or was Marie dropping a hint that there was one way I could find out?

  DAVE DAVENPORT

  I can smell a musk and orange blossom mixture. It's a Gucci brand perfume, one of the nurses wears it . . . the Irish one, Rump Steak Rogan . . . oh, shit!

  NEW FEMALE VOICE

  (Irish accent)

  What was that again, Dave? What did you call me?

  DAVE DAVENPORT

  Nothing. I mean it's only what some of the other guys call you. I know your first name is Bridget, but that's about all.

  BRIDGET ROGAN

  Never mind my name. Why am I called Rump Steak, for God's sake?

  DAVE DAVENPORT

  Well -- they say that every time you bend over all the guys in the room start sizzling and drooling.

  DAVE DAVENPORT -- NARRATION

  Both of the women laughed at that. It was a weird situation. Marie had been jerking my chain all night, let alone all the stress from being on TV, and now I had another woman - another female officer -- appearing out of nowhere for God knows what reason. And while my head was