Embrace Your Weird

by Felicia Day

  Pick a length of time to commit to and start today. Right now. This book can count, that’s fine. I’ll give hall passes for that one.

  * * *

  Remember, our job with our creativity is not to produce something for others to consume. That’s a side benefit IF we choose to share it when we’re done. Our job is to show up, put the time in, and finish things. To live fully creative lives and share our weirdness in a way only WE can. If we keep showing up, IT will show up. In a lovely way, our very presence expresses an important faith in ourselves. Like, when our dads show up to our dance recital, it means something, right? So let’s channel a little Dad for ourselves and our creativity!

  We have finite energy but infinite potential. If we can commit to just one page a day. One photo a day. One stitch a day. One teeny-tiny portion of time EACH DAY toward our creative goals, we can work toward achieving a dream. In the end, only zero will give us nothing to build on. But SOMETHING will always add up to something. That’s an unintimidating math fact.

  Keep Exploring!

  It’s strange to think that large swaths of the Earth were once mysterious, uncharted territory. Like, if we set out on a ship somewhere, we’d breach the very border of our own existence and encounter societies we’d never dreamed of. (And probably wipe out those societies with a sneeze. No, I’m not using genocide as punch line, it’s just the downer truth.) But having now explored the whole Earth doesn’t mean we know everything about it. That goes for who we are inside too.

  * * *

  Write everything about yourself inside the paper doll below. Adjectives, nouns, verbs, doodles—whatever comes to mind. Especially include the new things you’ve discovered on your journey through this book.

  This is your new Hero-Self. Hot, right? We’ve added so much on this journey! Pat that paper doll on the back!

  * * *

  BUT (sigh, there’s always a “but”) just because we’ve deepened our knowledge of ourselves doesn’t mean we know everything. We will never know all we can be. Sorry, we are just as unexplored and fascinating and mysterious as the Earth once was. Our boundaries will never limit us, because we have infinite depth.

  Like those sequences on police shows where the team looks at a surveillance photo and says, “Enhance, enhance, enhance!” we always have the ability to uncover more of who we are and add to what we know about ourselves. We just need to activate those new things by constantly exposing ourselves to new things.

  So take on the challenge of doing just that! Follow rabbit holes of interest as deep as they’ll go. Go on a trip somewhere new, even if it’s just somewhere local. Say yes to everything (legal), even if it’s scary. It is not self-indulgent to devote time to studying something fascinating just because. That’s how we grow ourselves. Yesterday I didn’t know what an axolotl was even though I pretended that I did in conversation. I went home and looked it up. Now I know. It’s an adorable amphibian that is a weird phallic shape with a fancy ruffle. Now everyone knows!

  * * *

  Write down three vacations you could take yourself on. As big as a European trip or as small as walking through a nearby park.

  Choose one and do it. The more you get out of your comfort zone physically and mentally, the more your brain will reward you with new creative impulses!

  * * *

  Draw a rabbit hole below and write a subject in it. The first thing that comes to mind.

  Now spend thirty minutes on the internet following the trail of this subject. Go from Wikipedia entry to blog post to YouTube video and back again, clicking or searching on whatever you come across that interests you. Follow your curiosity.

  Where do you end up?

  What is one thing you’ve learned that you want to remember?

  You never know where wandering may take you in life, and that’s the point!

  * * *

  List as many things as you can think of to finish this statement:

  I wish I understood _______ more.

  Your curiosity is an arrow that will lead you to discover new parts of yourself. So whenever you can, pull that arrow back and let it fly!

  * * *

  To continue to grow our Hero-Selves, we have to keep pushing the boundaries of our comfort zones. There’s a tendency to pay attention only to things that AGREE with us. That make us feel GOOD. But inner growth is spurred by all sorts of things: joy, grief, discomfort, and mistakes too. Exposing ourselves to radically different subjects can broaden our minds in unexpected ways. Why not pick a subject that’s completely unappealing on the face of it and read a book on it? Ask a friend about something that normally makes your eyes glaze over when they talk about it, and try to learn why they love it so much. For me, the person and subject are clear: Wil Wheaton and hockey. The idea of asking him what a “hat trick” is and trying to focus on his answer is making me doze off just thinking about it, but for the sake of my personal growth I’ll fall on that sword. On social media, include new accounts about things you don’t normally see in your feeds. (Cheerleader Weekly sub, anyone?) We can never know when a chance encounter might inspire us to go in a new creative direction. “Trapeze school? Twenty feet off the ground? You’ve got to be… WHEEE!! Where’s the circus? Hire meeeeee!”

  Bottom line, be willing to get uncomfortable to get more complicated.

  * * *

  Name a subject you’ve never wanted to know about.

  Find ONE fact about it that makes it interesting to you. What is it?

  See? You would never have known that fact if you hadn’t forced yourself out of your comfort zone. Congrats! Now you never have to study that subject again if you don’t want to!

  * * *

  The last part of this “Keep Exploring!” quest is trying to make a HABIT of exploring our own creativity. If every day we acknowledge with our actions “I’m a creative person!” we train our bodies to fall into creative patterns as we go through life. Eventually they become unconscious and we don’t have to think about them. We brush our teeth every morning without thinking, Oh, I should brush my teeth, right? (I hope.) Why not make creativity a habit too?

  Whether we pledge to write in a journal every morning, or freestyle rap to our fish every time we feed it, in making a habit of being creative in small ways, we are priming ourselves to be READY TO WORK when we turn our eye toward bigger creative goals. A ballet dancer doesn’t perform in front of an audience without practicing at the barre beforehand, right? Our creative muscle is just that: a muscle. Exercise it regularly and it’ll be there when we tackle the big stuff. None of that effort is a WASTE! It’s all enriching the soil for when we plant that bigger creative seed we desperately want to grow. So that eventually we get to gobble up the yummy-ass fruit. (After we wash off whatever pollution the world throws on it. Or just buy organic. Except for avocados and bananas, they’re safe to buy the regular version of… I’m stopping now.)

  Forming a creative habit encourages us to collect all our weird and wonderful thoughts on a regular basis, which is crucial. Because if we don’t collect them when they occur to us, the winds of memory will scatter them away, and we’ll never find them again. Which sucks, because we are worth collecting! We all need to be hoarders of our own brilliance! Yes, we can also say our thoughts are brilliant—that’s okay too!

  Sidenote: If we feel shame or embarrassed about telling ourselves that we’re brilliant, let me just pull the car over and say something: calling ourselves brilliant does not make us think we’re better than anyone else. It’s other people who make our own love of ourselves about THEM. Their disdain of us has nothing to do with us, really. It has everything to do with their not believing THEY are brilliant.

  THEY ARE BRILLIANT TOO. WE CAN ALL SHINE WITHOUT DIMMING EACH OTHER’S LIGHTS!

  /endsidenote /endquest

  * * *

  How could you regularly practice creativity in a small way? What seems fun? Some examples:

  Keep a dream journal.

  Instagram your breakfast e
very morning.

  Learn song lyrics in the shower.

  Challenge yourself to come up with one new idea a day.

  Whatever you pick, try to tie it to something you already do. If it becomes something that’s already a part of your life, it will be easier to remember to get it done regularly!

  * * *

  Commit and Finish

  At this point, we’re awash in the potential of our creativity. We’ve made room. We’re developing habits. Possibility is drenching us in the feel-goods and the “I-can-do-its.” This is GREAT! Let’s gather our treasures in the exercise below, just to see what we’ve uncovered.

  * * *

  Think about all the creative things you’d like to accomplish in your life. Remember what you discovered about your personal weirdness and include fun ways you can express that as well. Dump everything in the bucket below.

  * * *

  I guarantee this is a big list. Which is entirely NOT doable at once. Yay! As someone who fills four plates at a Vegas buffet and eats exactly two shrimp cocktails and a rice pudding in the end, I feel you. Our creative eyes are always bigger than our creative mouths. In order to take all the lessons of this book and carry them forward, we must focus. Okay, yes, we COULD just finish the book and walk around with that classic self-help afterglow without acting on it, but that feeling lasts maaaaaaaaybe a month. Then, like a sachet in your underwear drawer, it fades and we’re left with a packet of dead leaves. So let’s actually DO something with our creativity, cool? By focusing on one goal at a time.

  * * *

  What bucket-list item is your biggest creative priority right now? It can be as small as redecorating your room or as big as renovating the ruin of an entire medieval Italian village by hand. (Good luck with that. Seriously. And invite me when it’s done.) Whatever you want to devote your creative energy to NOW, write it down at the top of the ladder below. Then spell out the steps in the ladder rungs you could take to achieve this bigger creative goal. Make sure every step is possible as a result of your OWN hard work. If you feel stress while thinking about moving from one rung to the next, add a rung. The goal is to make this process as granular and actionable as possible.

  Great! This is your next project after finishing this book!

  * * *

  Creative commitment made! Exciting? Nerve-wracking? Did it make everyone sweat a bit? Of course. But we will never get anywhere if we don’t focus on one thing at a time. And then see that thing through before moving on!

  It is so easy to flit through life like a creative magpie, chasing one shiny object after another. Even when we commit to one specific goal, like “I want to create a scrapbook filled with pictures of my dog Snuffy!” it’s so easy to fail to see that commitment through. Because when we’re struggling at the midpoint and lose confidence in our vision, or our anxiety kicks in about the end results, the easiest thing to think is, That NEW idea I had in the shower seems SO MUCH BETTER AND EASIER. And Snuffy pooped on the floor yesterday so he’s in the dog house. Literally. So let’s jump ship for that other thing instead! In internet meme language:

  This is understandable and totally unproductive. It’s like allowing ourselves to eat cotton candy for lunch every day and then wondering why we have no teeth left. We cannot improve as creators until we see things through. So go ahead and jot down that new idea for later, but then go back to the old one and COMPLETE IT. That’s how we get better. That’s how we create proof that we’ve lived. It’s the amber that traps our creativity and gives us a teeny slice of immortality. I’m passionate about this because I am talking to myself here. FINISH THINGS, FELICIA! YOU HAVE NO MORE ROOM IN THE STORAGE UNIT FOR HALF-DONE PROJECTS!

  New ideas seem so much more attractive because when we come up with them, we’re picturing them complete and perfect. But they’re a lie. They don’t actually exist. We’re delusional at that point. Second date, “I want to breathe your skin every day” infatuated. How can a relationship that’s old enough that we keep the bathroom door open when we poop survive THAT feeling?

  By digging in and making it legal.

  * * *

  Below, write a contract with yourself naming a creative goal and pledging to see it through. Throw in legalese if you know it, make it up if you don’t. Everyone has seen enough lawyer shows, you can do it. Go on to the next page if you need more room.

  Sign it. Have a friend witness it. Notarize it if you are really thorough. This is your commitment.

  Not legally binding. But MORALLY binding. With me.

  * * *

  Bottom line, I believe that in each and every person there’s a unique, imaginative creator just waiting to lend their voice to the world. And I am urging everyone to find the strength to channel that creativity into whatever format they choose, and see it through.

  Alas, I can’t be in each of my reader’s houses whispering encouragement/threats while they create. (I’d love to find a way make it happen, though. Maybe I can record phrases like “You can do it!” “You go, person!” “Stop watching TV and DO something!” in a kind of naggy, non-relaxing meditation tape? I’ll look into it.) I do know that it’s a rare person who can persist completely alone. We have to surround ourselves with supportive voices who hold our feet to the fire.

  So gather those role models, mentors, and friends. Use any of their strengths to help see this first creative commitment through. We can rely on them, if only to guilt us into keeping going. Blackmail? Extortion? Whatever it takes, have them help you get this thing done!

  * * *

  Write one person in each category who could help you keep climbing your creative goal ladder. Specify how they can help you achieve your goal going forward.

  Role Model:

  Mentor:

  Friend:

  Reach out and text or email the Mentor and Friend RIGHT NOW. Yes, I’m putting you on the spot! Declare your creative goal to them and ask them if they’d be willing to support you on your quest. If not, scratch them out and move on to someone else. For the Role Model, write a physical letter to them and put it in your dream file.

  Your intentions are out in the world now. They exist and are supported. There is no shame in needing a companion’s help on the lonely road of creation!

  * * *

  It’s such a monumental achievement to actually FINISH something. And no matter how long it may take us to climb our creative ladders, we all have the tools to do it. We have the motivation. We have the help. And when we finish… there is always the next ladder just WAITING for us! Which is sure to be just as frustrating and rewarding to climb as the last, but shh, ignore that and start climbing.

  How good does having a creative plan feel? Like a self-made syllabus for a class we can’t be graded in. Being homeschooled is great!

  Never Give Up

  There is no doubt that enemies will rear their ugly, malformed heads along whatever creative path we choose. But if we have our eyes out for them, they can’t sneak up on us. We’ve prepared! We’ve overcome our fears! We have weapons! Not illegal or pointy ones, but weapons nonetheless!

  We WILL reach our creative goals if we persist. Stay focused. Look to allies for support. And use the tools in this book to cut off enemies when they start to spring up with their cheery, “Heyo! Care to hear how much you suck?” voices.

  * * *

  In the eyes below, write the three biggest enemies to your creativity that you’ve uncovered during the process of reading this book.

  Now write “I have my eye on you” below each eye. You are watching. You are waiting. If you have three eyeballs, you probably feel very secure right now. People with two eyeballs, just know you’ll have to multitask.

  * * *

  As an even more inspiring “Never Give Up” message, the following may sound a bit woo-woo but I need to include it anyway. (We’ve all gotten our eye rolls out a long time ago, right?) I believe that when we are clear with our creative intentions, the world lends itself to our cause. And a little bit of K
ismet enters our life. No, I’m not saying that when we really want things they just HAPPEN. (If that were possible, I’d have a talking tiny dragon named Julius perching on the end of my finger right now.) But in the same way that when we buy a red car, we see red cars everywhere, if we focus on a specific creative goal, we will start to see the presence of opportunity around that goal in ways that will surprise us.

  If we focus on gardening, a beautiful flower in a park could inspire what we grow. If we want to make scarves, a post on Nextdoor forming a local crafting circle might draw our eye. When we hear mention of creative opportunities, they’ll no longer pass by unnoticed because we are aware of what we WANT.

  If we gather our intentions and stay focused about the importance of creativity in our lives, we’ll be surprised how many paths will open up for us and support our dreams.

  And finally, when we are challenged or set back or even defeated, there is always one question we can ask ourselves to inspire us to keep going and never give up:

  What do I want to have accomplished before I leave this Earth? What would I regret not working harder on? Embracing more? Spending more time on or with?

  I know this is four questions. Shut up.