Leaving Barringer

by Tina Martin

  “Hey, Shavonda.”

  “Hey, Calista. Thought I’d check in to see how the morning has been so far.”

  “So far, so good.”

  “Yeah, I doubt it’ll take you a long time to pick up on the swing of things around here.”

  “I sure hope not, though, I have to say I don’t have a thing to be worried about. Looks like there’s a great bunch working here.”

  “The best,” Shavonda replied, glancing around the office. “Anyway, enjoy your lunch.”

  “Thank you. I’ll be back at around 1:30 p.m.”

  “Okay.”

  “Oh, and make sure you savor your lunch hours,” Shavonda said. “You’ll realize the importance of lunch breaks when you really get into the thick of things.”

  “Duly noted,” Calista said, smiling.

  * * *

  Calista tried not to look too shocked when she saw Vivienne sitting at a table in the Mexican restaurant. Kalina was right. Vivienne’s face was swollen, along with her arms and hands. It had only been a week since they last saw each other. What happened? Did she drive herself here? Take a taxi? Did Garrison drop her off?

  “Hey you,” Calista said, finally close enough to the table.

  “Hey, Calista,” Vivienne said, lifting her head high enough so Calista could hug her.

  Calista took a seat and said, “I have to say I was surprised you wanted to leave the comforts of your home to come out here. It’s all wet and dreary today and you’ll be having the baby in less than a week.”

  “I know,” Vivienne said, rubbing her stomach. “And I wouldn’t have come out if it wasn’t urgent that I met with you.”

  Calista’s head flinched back. “Urgent? What’s going on, Vivienne?”

  Vivienne smiled warmly. “Well, I wanted you to know that even though you don’t have a child, I think you would make an excellent mother. I know you will.”

  “Thank you, Vivienne, but I don’t understand what that has to do with your reason for asking me to lunch. You’re kinda freaking me out.”

  Tears came to Vivienne’s eyes. “Listen, Calista…um, there’s no easy way for me to say this, so here goes. “I want you to be a mother to my son, because I—” Her voice cracked. “I won’t be able to.” Tears spilled from her eyes.

  “Vivienne, you’re scaring me,” Calista said, touching Vivienne’s trembling hand.

  Somehow, through her sadness, Vivienne managed to talk. “I don’t know why I’m crying. I’ve already accepted this.”

  “Accepted what?”

  “That I won’t survive the birth of my son.”

  “Viv—”

  “Just listen to me for a minute, Cali. Please.”

  When the waitress came over to take their food orders, both women decided on water. Neither could eat.

  Vivienne took a breath when the waitress walked away then continued, “The doctor informed Garrison and I, four months ago, that the likelihood I would survive the birth of the baby was low. I’ve been struggling with eclampsia the entire pregnancy and…well the doctor told me to terminate the pregnancy. I couldn’t do that. I wouldn’t do it. It was difficult for me and Garrison but, ultimately, I know I’m doing the right thing.” She wiped tears from her face. “I want my son to live…want him to have a chance at life. I’ve had my life. It’s his turn now.”

  “No,” Calista said, her eyes glistening with tears.

  “Cali—”

  “Doctors are not perfect. They’re not God. They don’t know what’s going to happen.”

  “They’re not perfect, but listen to me, Cali. Look at my face. It’s swollen. My hands are swollen. I have constant headaches…headaches so severe, it makes it hard for me to see sometimes. Garrison had to drive me here to meet you.”

  “No,” Calista said with trembling lips. “This can’t be happening.”

  “I need you to promise me, Calista. Promise me you’ll take care of my baby.”

  Calista frowned again. “Vivienne—”

  “Garrison won’t be able to do it all on his own. He’s having a hard enough time coming to grips with this as it is.”

  This can’t be happening, Calista thought as she smeared tears away from her eyes. The last time she saw Garrison, he looked fine, like everything was okay. Well, so did Vivienne, so maybe that didn’t mean much. But Garrison – she knew him better than the family was aware, especially since they’d dated for a year a half back in college. Originally from Raleigh, North Carolina, Calista had moved to Wilmington to attend college where she met Garrison. They were the same age, had a lot in common, but she broke up with him when she felt the relationship wasn’t going anywhere. She never told anyone about their college courtship and Garrison thought it was best not to mention anything to Vivienne about it, but given the circumstances, Calista didn’t feel like she had much of a choice. She had to tell Vivienne now.

  “Have you spoken with Garrison about this?”

  “I have.”

  “And he agreed I should do this?”

  “He did.”

  “Then you need to know that—”

  “I know. You and Garrison dated back in college. He told me.”

  Calista’s sad eyes grew big. “He told you?”

  “Yes, a few months ago when we first started discussing the possibility of you taking care of the baby. Will you do it?”

  Calista wiped her eyes again. “I don’t want to accept what you’re telling me, Vivienne. We can’t lose you. This isn’t right.”

  “It’s not right, but it’s…it’s reality. Please promise me you’ll take care of Junior.”

  “Yes, I’ll take care of him,” Calista said absently. “Who else knows about this, Vivienne?”

  “My doctor knows. Garrison knows. I know and now, you know.”

  “This can’t be real,” Calista said, holding her throbbing temples. “It can’t be.”

  “It is. I know how much you want a baby…how much you want to be a mother. Well, now, you…you finally get to be a mother,” Vivienne said. She began crying.

  Calista reached across the table to hold Vivienne’s hand. This was really happening. Vivienne thought she was going to die and was asking her to take care of the baby. For a moment, Calista thought her sister-in-law was paranoid, but Vivienne was anything but. She was always the planner out of the Blackstone women – the one who liked order. Who’d plan vacations, even trips to the grocery store down to the last detail. True to character, she was proactively making plans for her child in the event she didn’t survive childbirth. A true mother, she wanted a guarantee that her son would be loved and cared for. She was hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.

  Still, Calista couldn’t help but feel like this wasn’t reality. She’d always considered Vivienne and Garrison to be the perfect couple, not one of those happy-in-public couples (like she and Barringer), but a real couple who genuinely loved each other. She could see that love at their many family dinners, vacations and other random get-togethers. She could see it when they’d gotten married.

  Garrison had given the most beautiful vows she’d ever heard, the kind of vows that made women ooh and ah, wishing they had a man who could be so authentically sweet and thoughtful. Vivienne had him. How could something like this disrupt their happily ever after?

  “Listen, Calista, I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. I made this decision. I’m okay with it. I’m sad, yes, but at peace and I will always be as long as I know you will be there for my son.”

  Calista closed her eyes, pushing out tears in the process. The doctor had this one wrong. Vivienne would be fine and have a beautiful, healthy baby boy. Life would go on as normal and this conversation would be a forgotten memory. But in case that’s not how things ended up, she opened her eyes, looked at Vivienne and said, “I will take care of Junior and love him just like you would. I love you, Vivienne.”

  “Love you, too, sis, and thank you. I know this is a lot to ask and I appreciate it very much.”

&nbs
p; The women dried their eyes as best as they could. Afterwards, Calista proceeded to help Vivienne to the car.

  When he saw the women approaching, Garrison got out of the car, opened the passenger door and helped Vivienne get inside. After closing the door, he looked at Calista with a set of worried eyes.

  “Everything is going to be okay, right?” Calista asked him.

  He grimaced before saying, “Just pray for us.” He walked away from her and settled back inside the car.

  Calista waved at Vivienne before heading to her car where she got in and cried harder. Even though Vivienne had plainly explained everything to her, she couldn’t wrap her mind around this. And how was she going to return to work with a red nose and puffy eyes?

  She quickly dug around in her purse for powder foundation and eye drops. She had to make it through another four hours of work before she could go home and completely fall apart.

  Chapter 11

  Barringer sat upright at his cherry-oak desk, beyond frustrated. After taking two unplanned days off work, Thursday and Friday of last week, in addition to Saturday and Sunday, he failed at getting himself in the right frame of mind for work. Failed miserably. Suddenly, work didn’t seem important. Well, it was still important, but with the chaos in his life, his focus waned.

  And now he was sitting at his desk, Monday morning, with his arms crossed while staring at the computer screen. He rubbed his eyes. Work? How could he work like this? He couldn’t do a thing. Couldn’t think straight.

  He rubbed his eyes again.

  He had no desire to attend the conference call he was supposed to be on right now, nor did he have the motivation to type a response to the email from Eleanor, his administrative assistant – the email he’d been staring at for the last ten minutes. He didn’t read it. Just stared at the bright screen, seeing characters, letters, words, but he hadn’t read anything. All he could think about was Calista.

  What was she doing right now? Was she thinking about him? Was he that bad of a husband – so awful she had to leave? No talking it out? No second chance? No nothing?

  His wandering thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of his desk phone. He glanced at the display, saw Candice’s extension, but he hadn’t bothered to answer. Instead, he looked at the computer screen and decided to make a real attempt at work:

  FROM: Eleanor Hargrove

  TO: Barringer Blackstone

  CC: Candice Blackstone; Garrison Blackstone

  SUBJECT: Possible New Account – Telmark Corp.

  Barringer,

  I’m attaching an email I received from Telmark Corporation. They’re hoping to meet with you soon. Let me know if you would like for me to put a meeting on the calendar.

  Thanks,

  --

  Eleanor Hargrove | Administrative Assistant to Barringer Blackstone

  Blackstone Financial Services Group (BFSG)

  Ext. 217

  _____

  Telmark Corporation…

  Barringer leaned back in his chair and suspired. Blackstone Financial could use a new account after the loss of Blakeney, no matter how big or small, but when his mind was consumed with thoughts of Calista, how was he supposed to concentrate on a new account? He thought she’d come to her senses and come back home, especially after he found out she’d been living in a one-bedroom apartment – rags compared to the riches he’d given her. She must’ve been too prideful to use money from their joint account because she hadn’t used the debit card or made any withdrawals. He was certain she’d been using her personal savings, and then he found out she’d gotten a job – a managerial role at Regional Hospital. She actually got a job. His wife was supporting herself. If she was working to support herself, she wouldn’t need him, would she? Obtaining a job was an act of independence. She was saying a lot without actually saying anything, but he got the message loud and clear. She didn’t need him. Not anymore.

  Since she’d gotten a new phone number – a number he wasn’t privy to, he thought about calling the hospital and asking to speak with her or maybe he’d show up out of the blue, talk some sense into her because apparently she’d lost her mind.

  The knock at the door took him out of his thoughts. Barringer glanced up and saw Garrison peeping around the door.

  “Got a minute?” Garrison asked.

  “Come in,” Barringer mumbled, wishing he’d locked his door. He wasn’t in the mood for this – conversations about work. He was too busy thinking about Calista to work.

  Garrison walked in and took a seat in one of the leather chairs in front of his brother’s desk. He gave Barringer a hard lingering look.

  Barringer expelled a breath. “Are you just going to sit there, or did you want something?”

  “Whoa, Barry…chill, man. Whatever it is you’re going through, it’s not the end of the world. Trust me.”

  “Oh, don’t try to pretend you have no idea what I’m going through. I’m certain Bryson and Everson have filled you in on the current events of my life since you weren’t at Everson’s house last Saturday. Where were you anyway?”

  “Home. I wasn’t in the mood for playing cards and I didn’t want to ruin it for the rest of y’all, so I stayed home.”

  “Well, you definitely wouldn’t have ruined it. I single handedly did that by talking about Calista. Then I left early and didn’t go back.”

  “Why didn’t you go back?” Garrison asked, though he knew the answer. Vivienne had already filled him in on Calista’s tearful confession that night at the party. He knew Calista had left his brother.

  Barringer released a frustrated sigh. “Calista left me, man. She actually left me.”

  “You say that like it’s impossible for a woman to leave you.”

  “It is,” he replied in an arrogant tone. “Before I married Calista, you think I was the type to sweat a woman. Not at all, bruh. I broke off relationships. I ended things. No woman has ever walked out on me.”

  “But Calista.”

  Barringer narrowed his eyes at his brother. “Obviously.”

  “Barry, I didn’t say that to be a jerk.”

  “Then why’d you say it, Gary?”

  “Just stating facts. To me, it seems like instead of focusing on the reason Calista left you, you’re more worried about your ego.”

  Barringer’s eyes darted towards his younger brother. He was only two years older than Garrison, but everyone thought of Garrison as the next oldest, to Bryson that is, because of his mild, laid back demeanor. Barringer, who was actually the next oldest to Bryson, was anything but. He was the overachiever, the one who had to be in charge, which is why he had stipulated, before they married, Calista not work outside of the home. He couldn’t necessarily be king of the castle if his queen was seen around town fending for herself, now could he?

  His forehead creased when he said, “Then tell me, Gary, since you think you have all the answers—”

  “I don’t have all the answers, Barry,” Garrison interrupted.

  “You said I was worried about my ego, so tell me what you would do if you were me. What would you do if Vivienne left you?”

  Garrison leaned back in his chair. If the doctors were right, Vivienne was leaving him. Permanently. Calista knew about it, but other than her, he’d kept this to himself – kept it a secret from his brothers, his sister and his parents, and he had intended on keeping it to himself right down until the end, hoping the doctors were wrong.

  Garrison pulled in a breath, suppressed sadness and looked up at Barringer. “Well, I love my wife, so I would do everything in my power to get her back.”

  Barringer’s eyes flashed atomic heat. “Are you implying I don’t love Calista?”

  “Not at all, Barry. You asked me what I would do if Vivienne left me and I simply said I love her and would do everything in my power to get her back. Would you be willing to do that with Calista? Or are you going to allow pride to keep you two apart?”

  Barringer didn’t respond.

  “And let�
�s not forget you lied to her,” Garrison continued. “You led her to believe you wanted children. I was surprised to hear you couldn’t have any.”

  Barringer stood up and paced the floor with his hands in his pockets.

  “Listen, Barry…I know it must be difficult—”

  “Actually, you don’t know,” Barringer snapped, “Because, last I checked, Vivienne is due to give birth to your child at any moment now. A son.”

  “Yes, but—”

  “I can never have that! So you don’t know how I feel,” Barringer erupted. “I can’t give my wife a child and I’ll never be able to carry on my legacy. I can’t have a son of my own. You have a son. I’ll never have that!”

  “Okay, I’m sorry if—”

  “Save it, Gary! I don’t need your apology.”

  Garrison stood up, preparing to leave. Barringer was too incensed to talk or think rationally. His brother’s temper got the best of him at times and with the added pressure of losing a major account around the same time he lost his wife, his temper was even worse. “Just communicate with your wife,” Garrison told him.

  “And say what. Oh, baby I love you, but I’m a loser. I can’t give you a baby.”

  Garrison rubbed his hand across his forehead, growing more frustrated by the minute. “I’m going to go back to my office. I’ll talk to you later.” Garrison was steps away from the door when he heard Barringer say:

  “I tried hormone treatments for two years. Two. Every time the doctors re-checked my count, it remained unchanged. I wanted to give Calista a baby. Wanted us to have the perfect family like you and Vivienne. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out that way.”

  “Be honest with her, man. You have to tell her.”

  “Why? To give her more ammunition to divorce me?”

  Garrison’s brows snapped together. “Divorce? Who said anything about divorce?”