Leaving Barringer

by Tina Martin

  Quickly dialing him back, Garrison answered, “Hey, thought you were coming by this evening?”

  “You did?” Calista said, standing upright, her heart beating fast. “I’m sorry. Do you need to be somewhere?”

  “No, but I thought I told you about helping me with Vivienne’s clothes.”

  “Oh, ah…I don’t recall you telling me that, but if you’re going to be there, I can come over,” she said, rotating her arm to look at her watch.

  “I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

  “Okay. Give me about thirty minutes.”

  “Okay, Cali.”

  “How’s my chubby cheeks?”

  Garrison grinned. “He’s sleeping, but he should be good and ready to eat, probably by the time you get here if you want to cure your baby itch.”

  “Good,” Calista said excited. It didn’t matter she was in a funky mood because of Barringer’s admission. She would get to see her baby today.

  Her baby.

  “I’ll see you soon,” Garrison said.

  “Yep. Bye.”

  Calista hung up the phone, smiling from ear to ear. She wasted no time retouching her makeup. Her eyes were still puffy from the bomb Barringer dropped on her earlier. Nose still red. She couldn’t leave the house like that. So, after making sure she looked decent, she took her purse from the loveseat and stepped into a pair of shoes she’d left by the front door before heading to her car.

  Chapter 20

  “Hey, Barry,” Bryson said, opening the door to let his brother in.

  Without saying a word, Barringer proceeded towards Bryson’s man cave.

  “This is a surprise,” Bryson said, following him. “What’s going on?”

  “I told her,” Barringer said, falling lazily into a leather recliner. “I told Calista I couldn’t have children.”

  “When?” Bryson asked, taking two beers from a black mini-fridge, handing Barringer one of them. He sat in the recliner next to him and popped the top off of his beer.

  “Earlier.” Barringer opened his beer, took a long swig from it. “You should’ve seen the look on her face. I can’t get that image out of my head. It’s like I could see her heart breaking right in front of me. She was hurt, disappointed—”

  Bryson looked at his brother for a moment. He didn’t know how to help him out of this. “Did she say anything?”

  “Yeah. She asked me why I didn’t tell her before we married. I think that hurt her the most.” Barringer slowly shook his head. “All of this is just too much to deal with, man. My wife leaves me. I lose the company’s biggest client. Gary quit.”

  Bryson sat straight up. “Gary quit?”

  “Well, he said he wasn’t coming back. So, yeah. He quit. Said he needed to focus on Junior.”

  “Well, don’t worry about that too much. Garrison is a worker. He’s not the type to sit around and twiddle his thumbs. Just give him some time. He lost his wife. He needs time.”

  “I lost my wife, too,” Barringer said. “I don’t get to take time off.”

  “Two completely different situations, Barry. Vivienne died. Have you even sat down and spoken with Gary since the funeral?”

  “Haven’t had time.”

  Bryson raised a brow. “Haven’t had time? Come on, Barringer. It’s been like three months. You haven’t had time?”

  “I have a company to run.”

  Bryson shook his head. “Go on and finish your beer, because you’re not going to like me in a few minutes.”

  Barringer grinned but he knew what was coming – some straight talk from his older brother. So he took a long sip of beer, then glanced over at Bryson.

  “I think you need to take a step away from BFSG. There, I said it.”

  “What would make you say something absurd like that?” Barringer asked.

  “Easy. I don’t care how much money you make…how big your house is or how many foreign cars you own, Barry. You can’t replace family with money. You and Calista have built a life together, and she’s been a good wife to you, man.”

  Barringer blew a ragged breath. “She’s been gone for three months. She doesn’t care about me.”

  “Oh, she cares about you. She loves you, but the longer she’s away, the easier it becomes to not care. Do you feel what I’m saying right now?”

  “But she doesn’t want to talk—”

  “You’re making excuses, Barry,” Bryson interrupted. “You tell yourself she doesn’t care and it’s already over and she’s been gone for three months so you don’t have to pour your heart out. You’re stubborn like that. I know you are…know from experience. So, being on the outside looking in, I’ma tell you what I see. I see two sinking ships in your life. You’re trying to save one ship, the company, while letting the other ship sink, your wife. Is BFSG more important to you than Calista?”

  “I believe there’s still hope for BFSG.”

  “And not for your marriage?” Bryson asked, looking intently at his brother.

  Barringer shook his head. “You know the saying, if you love something let it go?”

  “Yeah. I heard of it. Don’t agree with it, but I heard of it.”

  “You let Felicia go.”

  Bryson frowned. “Felicia left me and had no intentions on coming back. She didn’t love me anymore, Barringer, and I was wise enough to know that. I’m not going to lie…it hurt. But all of that is in the past now. I got the woman I was meant to be with. Kalina is everything to me.”

  “I’m not Calista’s everything. I can’t give her a baby. Do you know how that makes me feel? As a man? It’s like everyone is crying, poor Calista, but what about me? I want—” Barringer choked up, completely out of character for him. After taking moment to get himself together, he said, “I want to give my wife a baby. I can’t do that. So I feel obligated to let her be happy with someone else.”

  Bryson’s brows snapped together. “Are you kidding me?”

  “I didn’t say I wanted her to be with someone else. I said I feel obligated. I feel like I owe her that much for lying to her. Ten, twenty years from now when we don’t have children and are both too old to think about having kids, I don’t want to see resentment in her eyes. So, yes, I’m leaning towards letting the marriage ship sink, Bryson,” Barringer swallowed hard. “BFSG still has a shot at being saved.”

  Bryson shook his head. “How’s that?”

  “I called The Champion Corporation and Desmond Champion called me back yesterday. He wants to meet with us soon.”

  Bryson nodded.

  “You think I’m making a mistake, don’t you?” Barringer asked.

  “No. I think, first and foremost, you should do everything in your power to get Calista back. Second, go talk to Garrison. He may look okay on the outside, but he’s hurting. And Dad…it’s time you let him know what’s going on with the company. It was his before he turned it over to you. It won’t hurt to ask for a little advice. You don’t know it all, and you can’t do it all. You’re overextending yourself. You’re burnt out. You need a break.”

  “You’re right. You’re right.” Barringer pulled in a breath and closed his eyes while slowly expelling another breath. He had a lot of decisions ahead of him, ones he wasn’t sure he was ready to make.

  Chapter 21

  “Aw, there’s my little chubby-cheeked friend,” Calista said, her face aglow when she took Junior from Garrison’s arms.

  Garrison smiled. “I just got him out of the crib…got his bottle warming in a cup of warm water in the kitchen.”

  “Look at you getting the hang of this daddy thing,” Calista said as she lightly bounced Junior in her arms on the way to the kitchen. Around the same time, she realized this was the first time she’d been to his house after Vivienne’s funeral. She noticed he hadn’t taken down wedding photos or any photos of her for that matter.

  In the kitchen, Calista took Junior’s bottle and tested the warmth of the milk by squirting a little on her arm. “It’s perfect for you, Junior,” she said,
putting the nipple of the bottle close to his mouth. Junior latched on to it.

  Garrison, wearing a pair of jeans and a red Polo, was standing at the entryway with his arms crossed, observing. For a moment, he thought he was seeing Vivienne there with Junior, taking care of him – feeding him and singing to him. There was no doubt in his mind that Vivienne would’ve been a good mother, but Calista was an excellent stand-in in her absence. “You’re good with him.”

  Calista glanced up. “I have to be. I’m holding precious cargo,” she said. “Plus, I have big shoes to fill.”

  Garrison smiled.

  “Every time I hold Junior, I feel like Vivienne’s here,” she said.

  “Yeah. He has her eyes.” He continued on inside of the kitchen and sat on a barstool at the island. “How am I supposed to start over?” he asked, crossing his arms.

  “That’s a tough question, Gary.”

  “I know, because I ask myself that question every day and night and for the life of me, I can’t answer it. I look at her pictures on the walls…all this decorating…everything you see in this house, down to the curtains were all planned and coordinated by her. How am I supposed to start over when I see these things every day? When I can’t bring myself to take our wedding pictures down?”

  Calista walked over and sat next to him. Adjusting Junior in her arms, she said, “It won’t be easy. I mean, Vivienne was a part of us all.”

  “But she was my wife, Calista,” he said in a slightly elevated tone. “She was supposed to grow old with me. We were supposed to raise our son together.”

  “I know,” Calista said, not knowing what else to say.

  “Instead, she gives me a son, this beautiful baby boy, and she’s gone.” He grimaced, stood up and said, “You know where the master bedroom is. Just go in the closet and take her clothes down for me.”

  “Actually, I don’t know where the master bedroom is,” Calista said. All the times she’d visited their home and after the many family dinners Garrison and Vivienne hosted, she never wandered upstairs. There was plenty of room downstairs.

  Garrison turned to look at her. He looked puzzled. Confused somehow.

  “No worries, Gary. I’m sure I can find it. It’s not a problem.”

  Garrison turned to walk away, but stopped abruptly, looked at her once more without her knowledge, while she bounced his son in her arms. Then he continued on outside.

  * * *

  After she had finished feeding Junior, she made sure to burp him before taking him to his room. She remembered how proud Vivienne was after completing his room, but this was the first time she’d seen it. She loved how alphabet blocks spelled out his name on the wall above the crib. The baseball curtains, blue walls, the area rug that was designed like a baseball – it all looked like something Vivienne would do.

  Calista took a few steps down the hallway into what looked like the master bedroom. There wasn’t a thing out of place in the immaculate room. Nothing. The bed was made. The cream carpet didn’t have a stain on it. Even the perfume, makeup and other items on her vanity were properly placed. She doubted Garrison was sleeping in there. He probably couldn’t bring himself to do so.

  She stepped into the massive, walk-in closet. Garrison’s clothes were to the left. Vivienne’s to the right. There were at least twenty pairs of shoes, mostly heels. And then she saw jackets, sweaters, jeans and purses. Centered in the closet was a long, ivory-colored leather bench.

  Armed with black trash bags (she hated to think of Vivienne’s things as trash), Calista began removing clothes from hangers and placing them in the bag. The clothes smelled like Vivienne. Like perfume she used to wear. Tears glistened in Calista’s eyes as she breathed in that familiar smell. Vivienne made the ultimate sacrifice for her baby. Now she was gone. Calista wiped her eyes. She wished she would’ve called one of the girls to help her with this. It was a lot harder than she thought it would be. But she had to do it. Garrison certainly couldn’t.

  Thirty minutes into it, she slowed down, paced herself. She took her time putting Vivienne’s clothes in bags. Then she moved on to her shoes. Purses. Belts.

  “I don’t know if you would even want to take something, but you’re welcome to.”

  Calista turned around at the sound of Garrison’s voice. He was leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed. With a rapidly beating heart, she said, “You startled me.”

  “Sorry.”

  “I thought you’d left.”

  “No, I was doing some work outside to get my mind off of things, you know.”

  “Oh,” Calista said. “And I don’t want to take any of Vivienne’s things. It’ll only make me sadder.” Calista took a good long look at Garrison. Sadness glinted in his eyes. She didn’t have to wonder how he was feeling tonight. He’d been testy since she arrived. And standing at the door, watching her pack up Vivienne’s wardrobe would only make his mood worsen. And how long had he been standing there anyway? However long, it wasn’t good for him to watch this. He needed to go back downstairs or outside. He needed to be somewhere else besides here.

  Garrison took a few steps into the closet, sat down on the bench and hung his head.

  “Gary, I can handle things here. I know you probably don’t—”

  “I’m fine, Calista.” He looked up, noticing five bags lined up in front of where Vivienne’s clothes used to hang. He rubbed his hands together before burying his face in them.

  Calista swallowed hard. “Gary.” She dropped the bag she had in her hand and walked over to the bench to sit next to him. “Gary, why don’t you go back downstairs and let me take care of this, okay?”

  He didn’t respond. Didn’t move.

  “Gary.”

  He lowered his hands, looked at her and that’s when she saw his eyes brimming with tears. He couldn’t hold them in any longer. He tried. He failed.

  “I’m so sorry, Gary,” Calista said, batting her own tears away. She needed to be strong to support him right now.

  Garrison shook his head. He slumped down, covered his face with his hands again while his elbows rested on his knees.

  Calista scooted closer to him, wrapped her arms around him as best as she could. “I know this is difficult, and it’s okay to cry, Gary,” she said, feeling his body tremble against hers. And he sniffled. He didn’t whimper and he wasn’t audibly crying. He just sniffled.

  And Calista held him, not knowing what to say to console him at this point, so she comforted him with her embrace while wishing he would’ve stayed outside. At least, then, he wouldn’t be staring at Vivienne’s clothes, reinforcing in his mind that this really was it – Vivienne wasn’t coming back.

  She moved her arms away from him when she felt him about to stand. And he did. He stood up, tall. She joined him.

  “Gary, I’ll finish everything up in here. Why don’t you go get some water or something?”

  “No. I’m going to take these bags outside.”

  “Gary, I’ll get those.”

  “No! I got ‘em,” he said picking up the bags and heading for the door.

  “Gary, wait.”

  He stopped in the bedroom only a few steps away from the door, holding both bags in his hand. “What?”

  “Please put the bags down and let me take care of making sure the clothes get to the donation center. I told you I would. Please?”

  “No!” he yelled. “I don’t want anyone wearing her clothes. I’m throwing them in the garbage.”

  “O-okay, if that’s what you want, fine, but let me do it for you, Gary. You’re in no condition to—” she stopped speaking when she watched him drop the bags and stare at her with a hard, penetrating gaze.

  “What condition am I supposed to be in, Cali? I have a dead wife and a baby with no mother,” he said with bitterness in his voice. “Tell me how I’m supposed to feel!”

  “I can’t tell you how to feel, Gary,” Calista said with a softened voice, “But what I can tell you is, you’ve been trying to handle all of
this by yourself. You haven’t been to any family dinners—”

  “And neither have you,” he interrupted to say.

  He had her there. She hadn’t been to any family dinners, but that was all because of Barringer. She didn’t want to run into him. “Yes, but that’s a different situation. You know Barringer and I have been going through some things.”

  His forehead creased. “And I’m not?”

  “You are. I’m not implying that you’re not. I know how much you…I know you’re hurting. I realize that, okay. I spend more time with you than anyone else in this family. You hardly talk to your brothers. Your mother, bless her heart, has been trying to get you over to her house for last month’s family dinners and you refused to go. What is it, Gary? Tell me what makes you shut out everyone who loves you because of this…this tragedy?” Calista exhaled sharply. “And I’m sorry I have to raise my voice, but you don’t understand, apparently, and I’m tired of watching you destroy yourself.”

  A wry smile touched his lips. “Now I remember why we broke up in college. You and that smart mouth of yours. Constantly talking and have no idea what you’re talking about?”

  Calista frowned. “You want to go there. Okay. We broke up because of your roving eyes, Gary, but that’s besides—”

  “Roving eyes,” he interjected with dents in his forehead as he stepped closer to her.

  “Yes,” Calista said. “Roving eyes. I heard the rumors…tried to ignore them because I loved you, at the time, but when your best friend tells you that your man was trying to get with her, it’s pretty hard to ignore, don’t you think?”

  He smirked. “You mean your best friend, Trinity. Your best friend who tried to come on to me. Your best friend who I sent away, told her she should be ashamed of herself for claiming to be your friend while, at the same time, trying to get with me. That friend?”